What makes a person smart?

I did something pretty dumb today. Nothing major, just a stupid little mistake and I've been asked ''do you really consider yourself smart?''. Well yes, in fact I do. What makes someone smart? The fact that they can memorize a million facts? High IQ? An exceptional talent to think logically? Is it wisdom that helps you make good decisions in important moments? Or maybe knowing how to make the best out of a really bad situation. Or a combination of all?

I can't say I'm real good at any of those. I can memorize a lot, my IQ is believed to be quite high but was never tested, I suck at logic, good decisions in crucial moments? Please I can't make decisions even without the added pressure and don't even get me started on even knowing how to handle bad situations much less turning them into something good. But you know what? I'll tell you what I do have that I believe makes me smart...

I don't rely on anyone. There's nothing wrong with having friends, family, anyone really that you can trust and rely on when things go wrong and life gets hard. But relying on someone heavily or constantly will make you seem powerless. You've got your own intelligence, you've got your own mind, your own set of skills and views and opinions and you should put those to good use, if not you'll only come across as an incompetent fool. Sometimes the problems aren't even that difficult to solve it's our own ''what if'' insecurity that keeps us from acting. The fears don't control us, we control the fears. Unless it's spiders, those monsters are scary.

I don't let my god damn past control me. Yes shit happened and it hurts and it sucks and it feels like it will never get better but it also cannot be erased, what happened happened and the only thing I can do about it is cope and move on and not let it ruin my future. I believe no matter how ugly one's past may be, it shapes you up to who you are in the future. You may be strong and wise or you can let it destroy you. Your choice. You could use your past to gain understanding from people, you could use it to get sympathy, you could say that everything that's wrong with you is because of something that happened in the past. That's the easy way out and I don't want that.

I don't lie to myself. ''Oh it's going to be okay'' ''things will be better'' ''life will get easier''. Well none of that will happen unless I get off my ass and do something about it. From nothing comes nothing and if you want something you need to be prepared to work for it, and if you fall down you need to get up and come back twice as vicious. I believe good things happen not only to those who wait but to those who work for them. I know what I want, I'm ready to fight for it and I am not considering failure as an option.

I never put all my hopes and dreams into one thing. I may have a dream a wish if you will of how my perfect job and life would look like...but I am not delusional, I've got an alternative, a backup plan, something to fall onto if everything else fails. Taking huge risks and gambling pretty much with your life seems completly insane to me. That of course doesn't mean that I'm ready to give up when things don't go smoothly from the get go, this just means that after everything fails I don't go with my head through the wall. If it's not meant to be then it's not, it's okay, you pick yourself up and start over.

I don't let other people's opinions stop me. I don't care what people think of my art, I'll still do it my way because it's mine. I don't care what people think about the way I live my life. I'm happy *most of the time* and that's the only thing that matters. I couldn't care less about how people feel about my opinions, political, life, love, anything really. They are mine, I see the world as I do and nothing can change that. Even when my neighbors say I live in La La Land. And I especially don't care about how people feel about things, people, art, music, movies I love, these are the things that make me happy, calm, collected, safe, relaxed and I sure as hell don't plan on apologizing or explaining myself to anyone for it.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “There are no eternal facts, as there are no absolute truths.”. I don't think that as a human being you're ever ''complete''. Okay maybe finding someone that makes you feel complete is something worth mentioning but that's not what I meant. I meant as far as learning goes. We are never trully ''full'' our brains are not like hard drives, you can't come to a certain point and say ''oops memory full''. There's always room to learn, grow, change...just look at science and medicine and history, there are new discoveries daily. There's so much left to uncover and learn about on this planet and honestly, I think that's pretty extraordinary.

I tend to *or try to most of the time* think before I open my mouth. Sometimes things slip out when my mouth is faster then my brain, but mostly I control myself. Words can hurt more then fists and I know that better then anyone which is why I'm careful when using them. At the end of the day actions speak louder then words and being humble, modest and hardworking are better qualities then chatty Kathy with a big mouth that can't put the money where her mouth is.

I don't let people undermine me, when I know an idea is good, I stick with it, I don't care if people don't appreciate it, sooner or later someone will come along that will. Honestly if I don't believe in myself then who will? And I know how to learn from my mistakes. Sometimes I still repeat them and it's making me feel like my life is God's personal comedy show and he's hitting rewind just to laugh one more time but mostly mistakes are unavoidable you're bound to make some at some point in your life. Having everything under control 24/7 is impossible and you shouldn't go too hard on yourself when things start to fall apart. Mistakes simply remind us that nobody is perfect and it's perfectly okay to make them. It's what you do after that shows who you are, do you get up, fix the mess and learn from what you did or do you hide out and look for an excuse?

I don't rely on luck to solve my problems. There is no such thing as luck. Life is a battlefield and we decide our own fate, our own ''luck''. You don't get lucky to a point where your problems just magically solve on their own. Luck can be a tiny piece or a fragment of one's success, the rest is ambition, and dedication, and hard work and the fact that you put your heart into something and want to do it.

I don't act irresponsible. I keep hearing ''oh but you're boring'' ''you're uptight'' ''people like you, the ''smart'' ones never have any fun''. Wrong. I know how to have fun, I know how to party, I can have a drink or a few drinks, and I do, I go out, drink a beer or two, I'm far from boring but the difference between us is that I am responsible, I know what I'm doing and I know where the limits are. When I say ''I'm too old for this shit'' I mean it, not as in I'm old but as in I am too old to act recklessly, to ignore my obligations, to ignore my responsibilities.

It doesn't matter how many languages I speak, or how high my grades are, we are all capable of learning, it's other things that make us ''smart''. It's life, it's experiences. All that aside I still do dumb things, I still argue with people I shouldn't argue with, I should know better, I should know they will only drag me down on their level and that's not a place I want to be. I still make rookie mistakes, I still put my socks on missmatched. I do dumb shit but that doesn't mean I'm incompetent or stupid or an idiot. That only means I'm human and bound to make mistakes.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a jar of Nutella with a spoon on my counter and a sickening sweet romantic movie on tv, don't judge me, it's freezing outside, I'm feeling anything but great and sometimes I just need to watch a cute love story, all the violence is starting to make me sick.

Enjoy your weekend, stay safe out there!