Friday, September 14, 2018

Fate placed us together, tell me why, oh tell me why. So if you can't face forever then tell me lies, oh, tell me lies.

So…I'm gonna do a travel piece for a change. And most likely it's going to be really long, so go get some snaks before you start reading and get ready for some, travel, lifestyle, food, and all the rest of that crap that seems to be oh so popular when it comes to blogging.



It's no secret that Vienna is one of my favorite cities on this planet. No, I haven't seen the entire planet yet but you get the point. Berlin will always be my favorite there's no changing that. Fell in love with it the first time I was there. Fell in love with the….you know how people say some cities live and breathe? Someone was explaining that to me once and I thought he was crazy…but then I saw Berlin for the first time and it was…magical, the city felt alive. The art, the culture, the vibe. All of it. It was something special.
But this isn't about Berlin, lord knows if I go there I'll never stop typing. Vienna is an amazing city and only 5 hours away from home by train or car. I'm there a lot but usually just for a few hours because it's my favorite concert city. I've seen all my favorite bands there but rarely stayed for more then a couple of hours, we always came in on the day of the concert and went back home right after. This time there was no concert but a short vacation instead.
Let me start this post with a huge culture shock I get each time I'm there. I can't process how clean the city is, how nice people are, how open, judgment free they are. We may be 50 minutes apart by air but mentaly we are millions of miles apart. First day I got there I walked into a gay event. Rainbow flags, a red carpet cat walk, music such as ''I'm coming out'' and three guys with signs ''totally gay, not gay enough, gay enough'' as marks for those who walked the cat walk. Nobody turned around, nobody glared, nobody said a mean word. I was so amazed because home? They would tear them apart. We're not there yet, when it comes to loving who you wanna love, we're complete idiots. And I hate it. I joined the event for like an hour and enjoyed it SO much.
Of course after that was the ''must do a few times I'm staying here'' walk down my fave Mariahilfer strasse. One of the biggest shopping streets? Uh yes please. It's ''only'' 2 kilometers long and there's something for literally everyone found there. Even a weirdo like me ''cough Rattlesnake cough''. I love it there, stores, people, everything is so different then home and so amazing. Counting between days I'd say right after museums I spent most time there. Street food, shops, ''photo sessions'', churches…
First museum I've seen on this trip was ''Albertina''. Can I just say OH MY GOD?! Did I ever imagine standing in front of works of art by not only my favorite artists but like biggest artistic geniuses ever? No I didn't. Museum starts with a bunch of so called ''state rooms'', palace like rooms, one is yellow one is red one is green…it's very ''kitchy'' but I honestly love it in a weird way. Wouldn't be a bad place to live.
As the exhibition goes on you see Michelangelo's sketches, red and black chalk nude body studies, there's only three of his works but can you imagine? The genius that is Michelangelo actually drew that, his actual hands were drawing those lines? I can't even process that. I can't process that for all the rest either.
Monet? Like those of you who know me well know that he is my absolute favorite. Paint brush strokes, light, shadow, the moment captured…all of it so bloody inspiring and perfect. There's something about his works that just pulls me in and doesn't let go. Albertina has a couple of his works like ''view of Vetheuil'' which is absolutely gorgeous with it's light pastel colors and gentle strokes.
There's works by Cezanne, Renoir, Lebasque, Degas, Matisse, Braque, Picasso, Signac, Rodin, Munch, Modigliani and of course others famous local and none local artists. A lot of painters I didn't know before but ended up loving. There was a piece of art that I particulary loved ''Paul Delvaux ''Landscape with Lanterns'' '' . And it happened to be so brilliantly displayed on a blue wall that brought out the colors on the painting itself even more.
I ended up wondering if the paintings are even real because I couldn't believe I'm actually standing in front of them.
There's a lot of architectural sketches as well as photography pieces, mostly USA but brilliant pictures. A tiny piece of the museum offers contemporary art as well, some pop art, Warhol and such. There's a piece…it was so bizarre and morbid and amazing, that I just adored, and so realistic. You wouldn't believe it's not a photograph looking at it. I ended up taking some pictures of people watching the art because I just loved how they were into it, discussing colors, techniques used and other things. Nothing like home when people fly by not really stopping.
After Albertina there was of course St. Stephans cathedral. I am obsessed, literally obsessed with old churches, the architecture, paintings, ceiling art, stained glass windows…though this one when it comes to the ceiling it's pretty boring, no paintings just the typical gothic arches. But the altar and the rest is amazing. Really gives you that whole ''makes you feel small'' feeling. I ended wandering up into St. Peters cathedral that's a few hundred meters away and I can say that that one is far more impressing. The ceiling, the altar, the pulpit? My god, so much gold, but so beautiful. I sat in it for a while ( would you believe it even has feet heaters? ) and listen to the organs play and it was a really beautiful moment even for someone as allergic to religion as I am. Though the bones they had on full display creeped me out a little bit not going to lie.


The museum tour went on with Belvedere. Which was a museum I wanted to see for a few years now. There's two of them the upper and lower Belvedere but let's be serious I was only into the upper one because it's the home of Gustav Klimts ''The Kiss''. I've seen his 100 years anniversary exhibition at the Leopold's museum few years ago but they didn't include the Kiss in it. And finally seeing it was a moment of it's own. I knew it's beautiful but I couldn't imagine it being that beautiful till I actually saw it. The gold color is so amazing in person, no photograph ever does it justice. Of course the rest of the museum is pretty empty but the room with the Kiss is totally crowded. People. Such sheeps. I enjoyed the rest of the museum a lot actually too. They don't have a lot of Klimt though most is still in Leopolds museum but they have a lot of other painters including some same big names as Albertina. And a couple of rooms, ceilings and a view to die for.
There was a moment when I walked into another random room and finally found myself in front of the ''Napoleon crossing the Alps'' now as you may know there are five versions of this painting that actually matter, and I was fully convinced that I've seen one years ago in Italy when we were on the island Elba, which would only make sense no? Well shit I was wrong, it would appear that this was my first time seeing one of the originals. But holy shit is it amazing or what? The red cape? The color is so vibrant, and the details on Napoleon's face and the horse, that horses tail! Gosh that really is a work of art. I absolutely adored it from the first second I saw it. I had to be sitting in front of it for the longest time, admiring it and taking in every single detail.
You can of course also find numerous paintings of Franz Joseph and Sisi, no wonder, and some early Christianic art, which I'm more then familiar with since our National gallery back home has about a ton of.

I had a funny moment with the security guard at the Belvedre, no not running from him no worries but actually chatting. They wear all black, trousers, suit jackets and black shirts, very elegant may I add. Anyways I was wearing my black ''not today satan'' shirt and the security stopped me started laughing said he loves my shirt then he's like ''imagine me wearing it under my jacket, if anyone gave me any trouble I could just open the jacket and show it to them'' hah, I told him I think that's a wonderful idea and then break his heart by telling him I painted it myself so he can't go buy it down the street. He was super nice btw, nothing like the idiots back home.
I ended up the Belvedere trip in the gardens, which are out of this world also mind you, the fountains ( with a ton of crows flying around and bathing in them ) the flowers, the perfectly cut green grass. Gorgeous. But kinda too hot to wander around for long. So help me jesus I didn't imagine it will be that hot in Vienna in September. Mostly I only had bad luck with weather in Austria in the ''late summer'', gray, moody and rainy mostly. This time I thanked all the gods I thought of taking a pair of shorts with ''just in case'' along with my usual black skinny jeans.
Did I mention though that this was my first time coming to ''Wien Hauptbanhof''? they were building it for so long, each time I went to Vienna in the past couple of years we always ended up at ''Wien Meindling'' and now I can see why it took them so long. It's an amazing station, 90 shops, 3 stories down, jesus christ. Our biggest shopping mall back home isn't that big and doesn't offer pretty much everything your heart desires as they do here.
This was also the first time I went to see the market. I feel like cemeteries and markets are the most important thing to see to get the feel of what the city is like. But this was nothing like the markets I'm used to or the markets I've ever seen. It's probably the size of my entire hometown. Starts with antiques, fleamarket, with such amazing things you wouldn't believe. Vinyl, clothes, antiques, anything and everything, but don't let the name fleamarket fool you, the prices are really high and they don't like bargain.
The part with the food though, that's another story, should I start at the begining or how I almost married an Egyptian man? Hah. It's a never ending street of all kinds of food that you can try too, fruit, nuts, cheese, meat, sea food, all kinds of olives and spices, things I never even heard of much less seen in person. It's loud, there's a blues band playing live, ''Fly me to the moon'', food in and out of the restaurants smells amazing….a place where you can get lost for a couple of hours.
So…I was obviously into buying a few samples of fruit and nuts because that's something I actually like and this guy calls me over by calling me ''Michael Jackson'' probably because I wore the same shades as he did. Hah. He asked me to try a few things and tell him what I like most, or should I say feeding me some things giggling and ''begging'' not to bite his fingers. Hah. It was histerical we went back and forth like this for a long time, in which he was also kissing my neck, we were hugging, he told me that his heart can't take it no more, that I'm going to break it by leaving and that if he ever gets married he will only marry me. Ha. Probably a very clever marketing trick, I'd imagine I wasn't the first tourist to hear such a story, but you know me, I love anything Arabic ( or Lebanese cough Jack cough ) and I got a great price for all the fruit I bought so it was worth it.
On the way from the market I also saw a couple of universities that made mine really look bleek and small and unimportant and yet another church. ''Karlskirche''. Now that one is really spectacular. Holy shit. Excuse my language but really…it's beyond amazing. I didn't go in though because I thought that eight euros for church entrance is proposterous. Aren't gods doors open for everyone? So I was like ''no thank you'' and just admired it from the outside. It has a great fountain and food trucks in front of it and it just so happened that it was the street art week and there were all kinds of artists all around, like drawing on the side walk, preforming arts, musicians, you name it it was there.
There was also some amazing food included. When I'm on the go in another city I just hate wasting time in a restaurant and also money and also nerves, being vegetarian and all, so instead I tried a few different types of street food, affordable and so good, Asian, Arabic, Turkish, Greek. Crazy good. And to top it all, Donkin Donuts and Starbucks….I know I know don't judge me. But guys pumpkin spice latte? I tried it for the first time because they literally never had it before and I thought I died on the spot. It's amazing how good that is. And would you believe Starbucks spelled my name correct? What kind of a miracle is that? There was a really sweet barista there, we chatted for a while about random things, he told me I have an ''knee weakening smile''. Made my day to be honest.
One of the highlights of the trip for me, was also the ''butterfly house''. I keep complaining that there are NO butterflies back home and that's totally true, I haven't seen one in forever so actually seeing a ton of different ones was amazing. Though you know me, I am sceptical about ''trapped'' animals when they should be free, but it looks like they have a great living space there. You walk into this tropical ( very hot, I don't recommend it in the summer ) house with plants, water fall, tunnels, it's small but great. Butterflies fly around your head, if you're lucky they'd fly on your hand or head as it happened to a Russian tourist walking in front of me, hah, he kept walking and the butterfly just sat on his head. Histerical.

Different butterflies sit on flowers centimeters away, you can take amazing pictures and just admire them because they are absolutely beautiful, specially this blue one, but good luck catching that one, they don't sit still at all. I walked around two times despite the heat because I just loved it there.
Now you know me, priorities and such. Since I was really thirsty and tired after I of course decided to run to the first bar I see. That didn't happen. Priorities made me walk quite a distance to find the Hard Rock. Where else would you expect me to drink? 100 % of the profits from the drinks that day were donated to a charity organisation helping buy instruments for kids all over the world, and I opted for trying out a local kind of beer that the waiter recommend it. It was really good btw. Anyways, of course this is just the place for me, did I mention I took a photo on an amazing red and silver throne? Or that they have Bruce Springsteen stage worn shirt? As well as Freddie Mercurys entire outfit, Ozzy Osbournes boots, Richie Samboras guitar and Nikkis bass? Like Nikki Sixx actually played that bass! Holy shit. There's more of course like Kiss, Coldplay, Slayer etc…
And the staff is the nicest, sweetest, kindest staff you could hope to meet. From the restaurant to the shop everyone is super helpful and friendly. Before leaving I sit down on another huge sofa posing for a picture and the same waiter that helped us pick a drink smiled and I tell him he can join me anytime and he's like ''I'm not actually allowed at work'' so I'm like ''shame, maybe after work then'' and he just sighs, smiles, calls over his friend I was eyeing the entire time and they sit next to me for a picture. Can I say my heart stopped for a few seconds? Hah. Felt very diva like in that moment.
After the Hard rock ( I'm like literhally craving on going back just for the Hard rock lol ) I ended up in the ''Haus des meeres'' which in theory is an aquarium but so much more. Expensive as hell so be ready for that, two tickets almost 40 euros. I've been in the aquarium before but decided to go again because they did a lot of renovation and opened up a short tunnel. I love those. Nothing like the one in Barcelona but still really neat.
The funny part is that the best part of the aquarium are not fish at all. They have a ''tropical room'' or something like that, not because of the temparature it's not that hot at all but tropical due to exotic animals. There's little monkeys that run around, pretty much over your shoulders, close enough to touch, though you know, they can bite so touching might not be the best idea, hah, but they're close enough to do it. Super cute, super into posing so you really can take the best pics in there. There's also all kinds of birds, turtles, huge crocs and of course bats ( super cute bats nibbling on carrots oh my gosh ).

The aquarium has eleven floors, others consist of different types of fish, frogs, snakes, lizards, unfortunally spiders as well but luckily there's only a few of those. They have a giant and I do mean giant anaconda. Now I am not fond of snakes, like at all, but that one was gorgeous. As long as it's behind the glass mind you. I stuck my hand in a fish tank ( it's allowed no worries hah ) with these special fish types that people use to clean your hands, feet, nails. Such a funny feeling, tiny fish nibbling at your hands, it tickles nothing more but it's so funny. Just so you know though, my hands felt incredibly clean and soft after.
There's also a huge huge tank, top to bottom spread over almost three floors with fish, sharks, and other animals but what I love in there is a turtle. A really really big turtle. I was lucky enough that it took a little swim around it rather then just sit at the bottom and let me tell you something, it's the size of a small car. Amazing.
When you get to the top there's a deck with a view to die for. Though it's breathtaking it's a bit overwhelming too. For as far as your eyes can see it's nothing but houses and concrete. Being from where I am, I miss the parks, the trees, the forests, the green scenery to be fair. It's beautiful but…so much cement. Though in the far distance there's some hills as well. I don't know how long I was in the aquarium but had to be a long time since it was almost closing time when I left.

It's hard to say what I was most looking forward to or what I was most excited to see because there's so much to do in Vienna but one of the things was definatelly Prater park ( you know me huge Komissar Rex fan ) and of course Madam Tussauds. Yes again. The first time I was there was so much fun that I just had to go again. The tickets will seriously kill your budget, unless you buy them online but it's worth it because it's just too much fun. And so much has changed since I was there last, like seriously guys even the wax figures changed clothes, no joke. But then again all that I needed to see was that they added Benedict Cumberbatch to the collection and I was sold.
The paparazzi running around that I loved so much the last time was gone though so that sucked but it was still a great experience. Posing with your favorite stars? Uh yes please. Of course if they were actually alive it would be so much better but hey I'll take what I can get. They have important people from sports ( that I don't even know hah ), politics, arts, history, Obama even, and a ton of musicians and movie stars. Like the entire One direction and they are literally the first thing you see after walking to a different floor. Yes, I took a picture with them, or two, or three, hey don't judge me. Aparently I also became the American president for a few seconds, a news reporter, got thrown in jail with Mandela, I was a violin player, a keyboard player, a crazy drummer with pink hair and most important, Johnny Depps new wife. Hah. Shut up a girl can dream.



GUYS! They have Elvis Presley! I shrieked a little bit. And Johnny is so gorgeous. Sigh. Not for sale though. Yep literally I asked. Hah. Again, a girl can dream. The store at the museum is also amazing, all the little items that have are so cute and also most important, LGBT post cards. No joke, rainbow post cards, cards with cute sayings how love knows no gender etc. No I didn't buy one of each at all. Come on I just love how they love and don't judge.
Prater changed and expanded since I was last there as well, like 1000000 % no joke. It's huge. The amusement park used to have what a few rides and the huge ferris wheel. But now? OH MY GOD. The attractions? Anything you possibly want, hounted houses, Jack the Rippers house, Psycho hotel with It painted at the side, those scary tunnels, wild west, dinosaurs, like Jurassic park type thing, so many different bumper cars, things that really spike up your adrenaline…there was one that made me sick just looking at it. Sooooo high. And I mean getting up there aint so bad, the problem is that it goes down. And by goes down I mean falls down, fast. I'm not brave enough to go but I imagine that the view must be amazing.
There's of course roller coasters, pretty much any type of food you'd want from popcorn, cotton candy, chocolate covered fruit, caramel apples. All delicious mind you. And obviously different types of stands with games where you can win prizes or make your boyfriend win you the biggest stuffed unicorn possible. You feel me ladies right?
It's an amazing park but if you wander in be ready to stay for the entire day because it's just…wild, so colorful and interesting and each time you cut a corner something new will draw you in. I thought I'll be in an out in like two hours tops, ended up staying the entire day. Amazing place to get lost in for a few hours and forget about the world.
And of course it was also ( finally ) time to actually see the bloody river. Danube I mean of course. In the strict city center I'm always in you won't see it. So I took a little U bahn drive to the river bank. The ''neue Donau'' as they call it. The river is split, a smaller part runs around the huge wide river and it's made for swimming, water sports and such, cleaner and nicer. Did I cross my wish of the bucket list ''swimming naked in the Donau''? what do you think? Even if that was meant to be in the middle of Budapest but I guess I don't feel like getting arrested. Hah. It's a welcome cool off when it's as hot as the past week was.
I crossed another wish off the bucket list by going to the cemetery. Now that is a whole new different world for me. Did I mention you can drive with a car around it because the damn thing is SO big? Almost 100 000 square meters with over 330 000 graves. Can you imagine that? I mean I don't know how big our city center is but I'd imagine it's smaller then this cemetery. They do have about 10 times more ''inhabitants'' then we do anyways.
Oh! Same as home the cemetery is full of crows. I love that and also expect me to be a crazy tourist that never saw a squirel before because I ended up chasing one. There's so many there! Oh my god. Do I remember seeing a squirel home….like ever? No I don't. But gosh she was cute.
Right point. The cemetery is of course important because it's the final resting place of Beethoven. Yes THE Beethoven. I never imagined that I'll actually ever ''see'' him. In a way anyways. He's my favorite classical composer in case you didn't know. In the same small ''island'' of graves you can find; Schubert, Strauss ( that is actually spelled Stravss on the grave? ), Brahms and a dedication to Mozart since he is not actually buried here. There's a mystery around his final resting place as in he was supposed to be buried in an annonymous grave and the location of it is unknown. There's only a vague idea where he ''may be''. I read once that even his wife wasn't sure but instead she relied on cemetery staff to point it out amongst a number of unmarked graves. Fascinating isn't it? One of the biggest composers ever, pretty much lost to the world.

 
Walking on the cemetery is nice, there's enough shade, a lovely church in the middle of it and graves so spectacular that will take your breath away. Literally things I never imagined possible. A grave of a mayor? My god. Crazy. But unfortunally for me not many angels like there are in New Orleans.
Now as my days here are running out ( all good things must end right? ) I'm taking it easy, fashion week is starting, not that I'm into fashion at all but ''when in Rome'' right? Doing a little shopping, also in my favorite and far too expensive shop called the Rattlesnake. The very place where I met All time low and got a high five from Jack. Sigh. Good times.
I miss the ocean to be fair, lying on the beach, but then again, this type of vacation, culture, museums, art, shopping, big city vibe is more me anyways. Getting away from it all back home felt amazing and going back home into the drama and nightmare will be heartbreaking but whats gotta be done and all that…
Vienna you were gorgeous thank you for the memories, I love you so much, till next time.

Monday, September 3, 2018

Devil inside

When was the last time I complained about people? I know I do it all the time but I feel like I haven't in a while. Though where's the point really? People will always be people, horrible, selfcentered, mean, judgemental, awful. Animals. And that might be an insult to animals.
I don't know how to restore this faith in people, how to think they're not so bad, or so horrible, when the only people that were supposed to be there for me when things are the hardest are against me. Being abused by your own family is not something I'd wish upon anyone. There's a moment when you realise you're all alone. The only people that should have your back if something goes wrong are the ones that stab a knife in it. And that hurts.
And the worst part is that I try to convince myself that I don't care, that it doesn't matter, that I'm better off without them but at the end of the day I realise I'm alone. With no one to turn to, and that's a dreadful feeling. And not just alone with nobody but also with nothing, no assets, no money, no savings, no nothing, over night. Due to your family that took everything from you.
And I hate what this situation is turning me into, same monster as they are, hateful, vengeful, out for blood, same animal as they are. I hate the pain, the anxiety, the stress, the health problems this is causing me. And what I hate most is that I can't do shit about it. I am no control freak, I don't need to be on top of every situation but I can't stand not being in control of my own life. It is torture.
On a lighter note… I did something for myself if I should put it that way and went out on a Friday night. After a….very long time. Safe to say I have no interest, will, desire, to even go out, to be around people. I never really did but it's even worse now. I can't help but think of every single possible hidden agenda someone who is nice to me could have. Or why on earth someone comes over to talk to me? There must be something behind it no? I can't find it in me to trust anyone and the paranoia is starting to get on my nerves.
Point here though, after a rough start Friday night and after quite a lot of booze it was a great night. Times are tough and I tend to forget about the things I love most, and how much happiness they bring me, it's like I can't enjoy them anymore, but I was remembered how much I love music, live music. Small, hot, sweaty night clubs. And that moment, the moment where the music hits you and you feel no pain. You forget. You get lost in the music. These are the moments I live for. I can't find the same love, same thrill in anything else.
The band I listened to is a local band. Small local band. They play covers of all my favorite classic rock songs. Now you know how I feel about cover bands. Bands that take one band and copy everything that band does. Not a fan. But this is not that kinda band. This band does their own music as well as a mix of all the biggest classic rock hits, and I love that, it's like seeing all my favorites on one concert.
Super talented musicians too, should get a lot more attention then they do. But isn't it always like that? Musicians like Bieber get world fame while someone that has an amazing voice or is an amazing guitarist, bass player, drummer, whatever else, gets ignored? I always hated watching talent shows for that exact reason. The pretty boy that looks like One direction or Bieber always won over someone with a powerful rock voice even if he had no real talent. How stupid is that? Like there's no space for rockers in the music scene. And quite honestly the rock n roll genre really needs some new young bands to carry on the torch. To continiue the legacy.
Sometimes I need a little push, someone to tell me to just do something, just go somewhere, to stop finding reasons why I can't and why I shouldn't but rather just do it already. It usually turns out to be the right thing for me to do. The right way to go. I guess lately all the insecurities and all the rest made it even tougher for me to decide, to think, to do anything really.
It's amazing how something that you really should throw behind you, people that are poison that should be out of your life without a second thought can fuck you up so badly. My biggest issue this year should be studying for my final year of university, not where am I getting money to pay my lawyer bills that are stacking up. I should worry about attending parties, going out, enjoy life, gettbing a good job after my diploma not cry into my pillow each night because I just can't take it no more.
It's not right nor is it fair. And I can't begin to understand what I did in my life to deserve this. I must be a trully awfully horrible person because things like these just can't happen to good people.
I wanna remind you guys, if you have a good home, good loving family and partners, or kids, cherish them, hug them a bit tighter, tell them you love them often, not only they can be gone in a blink of an eye but just that alone, family, love, having that, makes you richer and luckier then so many people on the planet.