Friday, December 28, 2018

The other side


''I don't want to know who we are without each other, it's just too hard…
I don't want to leave here without you, I don't want to lose part of me…
Will I recover that broken piece?
Let it go and unleash all the feelings…

Did we ever see it coming? Will we ever let it go?

We are buried in broken dreams, we are knee deep without a plea, I don't want to know what it's like to live without you…
Don't want to know the other side of a world without you…''


I don't know why but this holiday season has only been torture for me. Actual literal torture. As you may have guessed from the post below there's very few things I hate as much as I hate December and Christmas and the euphoria over the new years…why so estatic over one night? You'll wake up January 1st and things will be just the same. Hell. Well, probably not all of you but most of us are all going through some shit…

A lot changed this past year. In my life I mean. And all the changes were for the worst. I don't even dare dreaming or even hoping of a ''happy new year'' because each December 31st I tell myself okay the past year was hell but the next one will be better. And guess what? Each new year just ends up being worse. I remember being optimistic last year thinking well it can't get any worse and guess what? It fucking did.

I can honestly say that 2018 has been the worst year of my life. The worst. Never mind all the hell and pain I went through in the past, nothing compares to this. I lost so much, but also learned so much. And I suppose all the newly discovered things only made me more bitter, more angry, more devoid of compassion for people, because honestly all they do is disappoint you, and hurt you, and use you, and the only people that are supposed to love you, your family, those are the people that will hurt you the most.

I wonder all the time what I did so wrong in my life to deserve this. Who did I piss off so bad? Why do I deserve all this pain? Am I really such a terrible person? I made tons of mistakes yes but should they be punished like this?

And I feel guilty, there are so many things I could prevent. So many things that could be different but I did nothing to prevent them. And now it's too late. Too late even for damage control.

I watch all these Christmas pictures on Facebook and Instagram, not like you can not see them, they are literally everywhere, and you know what I crave having? A loving and supporting family. Not presents, nothing materialistic. Things could be worse I know, some kids have really awful childhoods but things could also be better.

I used to convince myself that I'm fine, that I don't miss what I don't know. In a way it's true I really don't know, but that doesn't mean I don't miss it. A family. A home.  Support. Love. A safety net.

And the funny part is the only thing left in my life, the only thing that I found some comfort in, something that always made me better, smile, hopeful and at least semi happy, my music? I don't even have that. I didn't just lose all I had I lost that too. I watch these tour announcements daily for 2019 and a year ago I would be making plans, and I would be so excited, and now? It's making me more miserable than anything else on this planet…

When I look back at my life in the past year I wonder what do I even have left? What is there to look forward to, what is there to be happy about? Things never looked quite as bleak as they do now, and I reached a point where I'm no longer living but surviving and even that just barely, on pain medication, sedatives and a level of stress so high it could probably power up a power plant and produce power for the entire fucking continent.

I suppose I reached a point where I am so damn lost that I just don't know how to carry on. What to do to make things better. How to ''fix'' at least some aspects of my life that are completely unfixable, but then it wasn't me who fucked them up so thinking I could fix anything is crazy. I guess the only thing I can do is ''get up, dress up and show up'' and keep on hiding the pain behind a great big fucking fake smile and be thankful people never notice, because people don't really care.

I'm still wondering the same thing I was a year ago ''how much can a broken person take before they break completely?'' I surprised myself for still going, still breathing, still living. Things I went through would most likely kill a ''normal person'' but then again I was never normal in the first place. Or maybe I was, am, and I'm just over reacting, you know what people say ''suck it up, others have it worse'', because it makes so much sense comparing my pain and troubles to someone elses. Really.

Anyways this is probably my last post this year, I didn't want it to be this dark, but shit happens, I know I haven't been as active as I'd want to be and my posts weren't as good. I'm sorry about that, here's one thing I can promise, I will try to be better next year. All that aside, I wish you all a safe, happy and healthy new year. I hope it will be filled with love and laughter and will treat you amazingly because that's nothing short of what you deserve. Thank you for sticking with me for all these years, I appreciate it and I love every single one of you reading these lines, so see you in the next year.

''Is it fair, or is it fate? No one knows. The stars choose their lovers, save my soul, it hurts just the same and I can't tear myself away…

Did we ever see it coming? Will we ever let it go?

We are buried in broken dreams, we are knee deep without a plea, I don't want to know what it's like to live without you…
Don't want to know the other side of a world without you…''

Ruelle - The other side

Monday, December 10, 2018

''Up on the housetop, gifts are mine, kiss your Christmas tree goodbye.''

Oh my god it's here, that awful time of year. Am I right guys? December. Ugh. I hate it. If there only was a way to skip the buying frenzy, the craziness, the fake happiness, stupid smiles plastered on people's faces. God. I hate it all. And I especially hate the insane looks I get when I tell people I can't stand it all. Well really, what's to love? And the ''oh my god how do you live without celebrating christmas?'' well easy. Isn't that a religious holiday after all? I mean sure it lost all value these days but in reality it should be right? So why would a heathen like me celebrate it?
Christmas movies, commercials and music? Can I just please put a bullet in my skull now before I completley lose it? It is god awful. All of it. It probably doesn't help that December is colder then the North pole, guys, I'm a summer being, I don't do winter, I don't do cold and I sure as hell don't do snow.
Also is is just me or is the whole Christmas happening earlier each year? What the hell? I seriously get nervous rashes when I see god damn Christmas tacky crap in the stores before Halloween. Animals! All of you, seriously, why not start in June already? Or better yet how about not even taking the lights and such down? Would be easier no?
The concept of Santa and kids hoped up on sugar and lies. Why do we tell kids that a strange man is coming to their room while they sleep? What is that all about? I mean I wouldn't wanna see a strange man in my room in the middle of the night. Red suit or not. Well I mean, if it's Charlie Hunnam or Jason Momoa then they are most welcome but anyone else? How about no?
The fake ''let's spend time together'' crap, with either family or co - workers or wnb friends, okay listen here, I hate you all year long, I will not hate you less because it's December. If anything I'll hate you more.
Drunks. Drunks everywhere. Can people have a good time without vomiting their insides out in the streets? Just asking…
WHY, why, why is there such a thing as ugly Christmas sweaters? Why?! As if horribly tacky Santa or Rudolph aint enough, they happen to sing a carol if you press their noses. Dear god, take me now I can't stand it.
Well I didn't plan this post to start like this…but then again I never actually plan posts. But here's the deal, since I just complety shredded this entire extremely ''festive'' season (can you see my murder glare?) here's a part that I happen to like. Sometimes.
There's a ton of open air FREE concerts in this time of year and the thing is, it's cold as fuck, people are awful and drunk, but guys, free concerts. And it just so happens that this year the programme is sick! Really great musicians, pretty much daily so props for doing something right.
And because I am a complete fucking idiot, I thought that my Friday (after a week of work and errands and craziness and next to no sleep) night should be spent on two concerts. Not one but two. Hey, don't you judge me, I love music and I can never decide. But really, why should I?

First band to open my concert season was a band who I admit I don't know too well. I knew who they are, what they are, biggest hits etc. So I figured, alright the hits are great why not give them a chance? So basically they are called ''Psihomodo pop'' and they're a Croatian pop punk band. They formed in the 80's, 1983 I believe and since then they got a pretty huge fan base going on.
Guys this band played two concerts as the opening act for Ramones. THE Ramones. Oh my god. I didn't know that btw, only recently learned but what really shocked me with this info was that this happened in 1990 and that Ramones played in my country. I don't know why I'm shocked anymore to be fair. This place used to be cool, we had Ramones, Metallica, Queen and Nirvana, and what do we have today? You don't even want to know…
They did a really great album after Yugoslavia fell apart, it was called ''Silver pigs'' and it was critically acclaimed but produced an award winning single ''Starfucker''. I believe the last line goes ''starfucker, motherfucker'' hah, you don't want to know, really. But the singers hair in the music video? I died. Literally. He's all kinds of crazy though, got to love him, got to admire him, like the other Mick Jagger with the stage behaviour. And the bands lyrics? Comedy show. Brightens up a bad day.
And you know what? First time I wasn't bothered that much by people, they mostly behaved. Probably because it was insanely cold and people were hanging on bars drinking hot mulled wine which honest to god is more sugar and less wine, with an absurd price to match.
So it's after 10 I'm sitting outside under a heater in a bar contemplating my life and why on earth did I think this was a good idea and who the hell decided that all the good events in the entire year have to be crammed into one month. Yet this second band is a local band, from my town. And honestly, missing out on their show is criminal, the boys are so madly talented it's surreal. Every instrument is on point and the vocals are out of this world. If I had it my way they'd be touring the world with the biggest names in music history.
You can check them out right here
www.facebook.com/SpotlessMinds/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj_5g086dU4
Show them some love guys, you won't regret it.

Alright, point of these ramblings is that at the end of the day, I had a great time, exhaustion aside it was a great night. Friends, booze, live music and laughter, all you really need to lift your spirits. I'm posting this just so none of you files a missing persons report. Been far too busy lately, but at least you can enjoy another concert write up, or two, or three, or….hell we'll see how many.
Have a great week, spread love not hate (unless it's about hating Christmas then you are most welcome), and stay safe during this fucked up month.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Original sin


I never hated Mondays as I do lately. The near thought of having to go out and face the world with a big fake smile, pretending that I am not fucking dying on the inside is so hard. Not just hard, it seems impossible these days. To say I had a rough year is an understatement of the year. There are hardly words to describe how badly I want it to end, but then again, what's the point 2019 will not be any better. If anything, worse. And you know what's the worst part? Expectations. People just expect me to be okay, to be normal, to move on, do something with my life, and I just want to scream. Life goes on yes, but it seems like my world has stopped and is falling apart around me and I can't take a second longer of it. I feel like that Of mice and men song ''pain pain pain''. Constantly, all the time. Every second. Everything hurts. Emotionally I mean.

People say ''you're a fighter'' and, ''you got this''. Really, I don't and I am not. I am falling apart at the seams, guess the question here is what happens when a fighter can no longer fight? You lay down your guns and surrender? And if you can't even do that? What else is there left to do?

But enough about that, this post isn't supposed to get depressing like so many of them do. This post is supposed to be about another man I have a huge horrible terrible crush on. And this one is dead. A well. Well good job Nikki no? If they aren't 50+ they're dead. A sure way to die alone with 50 cats. Let me start the post with a quote by said man that I always admired SO much…

''Q: What do you find appalling ?

A: “The American attitude towards women. The whole way they talk about sex. You know: “Lets get some pussy”. Jesus! Pussy is a great word, whenever you mean your cat, but for a woman… no! Not to speak about a woman’s genitals! They can be so stupid. Americans are not real. They fake as if they’re emancipated. An American man can sit and listen to a woman as if she is Einstein… but as soon as she turns around he whispers: “Look at her arse!” The philosophy of American men is: ‘We are prepared to do anything to get a women into our bed, even pretending to treat her as an equal.”

- Michael Hutchence (Playboy, 1993)''

You will probably know Michael Hutchence as the lead singer of the band INXS which btw I absolutely adore. Never tear us apart is one of my  top fave songs, literally I would get it tattooed on me that's how much I love it. Even if it makes me sad also, specially if I remember it was played at his funeral.

Here's another tragic story of an amazing band and musician. Michael was an amazing singer and he also died way too young. 37 only. How is life eve fair? There's a lot of conspiracy about his death too, suicide or no, it's sad and unfair, no matter what happened. And though INXS went on for a while after that just wasn't it anymore.





I'm always listening to the Kick so this one doesn't get it's turn at all but it's a great record as well. Unfortunally the one with ''Beautiful girl'' is missing. I don't have that album. Sigh. You know someone once dedicated that song to me on stage? Saying ''aparently this song is about a Nicky and I'd like to dedicate it to my Nikki''. Huge crowd, summer night, epic moment, not going to lie.

The swing is their fourth studio album released in 1984. I read once that The Swing is one of the five albums by INXS that you have to own. Yes kids, it's not all about greatest hits, dinosaurs like me actually like to own albums not just hits. Point here is that yes, this is an album you really should own if you like the band, it sounds like a record by a band that's ready for world domination. And the feeling when you listen to it is just the same.

It's always all about the multi million selling Kick and I get it that one is just…woah…you know. But really if you happen to forget just how good this band really is then The Swing will remind you. I feel like this album is where they really defined their sound. Like all the influences and everything that made the band run flowed into that one perfect sound. Really there is not one filler on this album, every single song is great. 

See thing is I love Michaels approach to song writing, sure he knew how to be a drizzle of darkness which I guess really explains why I love the man. Ha ha. He'd write lyrics such as ''watch the world argue with itself'' which it really does let's be honest, but thing is the very next line is optimistic ''who's gonna teach me peace and happiness?'' I would gladly, given the chance. Just saying.

INXS were super talented musicians but Michael was the star just like Queen had Freddie, INXS had Michael, he had a stage presence not many people have. I get all weak in the knees watching him parade up and down the stage looking like Jim Morrison and Mick Jagger had a baby. The man is sex on legs so help me jesus. I am really starting to think there's something in Australian water. All their men are hot. Hello Chris Hemsworth? Keith Urban? I mean come on!

I think the band had potential just like Guns N' Roses to be one of the biggest bands on the planet if things didn't play out like they did. They were mega stars for a limited time because honestly try as you may but without Michael the band was just…I don't know like Earth without art is just eh. You know what I mean?

I won't disect and talk on end about this album, it's a great album as is. They created a new type of Rock n roll with it. In a way it's a party album. The entire record is up beat and fun. Music you can dance to. Fun and catchy and the funny party is that this was from a time they weren't world wide mega stars and this is one of their best works anyways.

For me, all you have to do is put this album on, let the first song ''Original sin'' play and be like ''yeah that's it. Right there. I'm sold.'' They are that good.

So in that spirit, go play some good music and I do hope you have a bearable week.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Too much love will kill you, just as sure as none at all.



You know I have a ton of favorite bands. Literally a ton. There's so much music that I love, so many singers I admire, though lets say Queen are in my top 10. I adore them, Freddie's voice? My god. Amazing. Everyone that knows me knows one of the things I keep whining about is never seeing Freddie with Queen, and not being alive at the time of Live Aid. Come on let's be serious. Live Aid? It's the most amazing thing that has ever happened. The energy of the crowd alone when Queen came on? Woah. To be there, to feel that power, to breathe the same air…I can't even imagine how it must be, better then sex, better then drugs. And the best proof that music has insane power. Live Aid raised 127 million dollars for famine relief in Africa. Incredible.

I was really looking forward to Bohemian Rhapsody the movie as soon as I heard they're making it. A view into Freddies life in a way we couldn't have it before. You probably know he was a very private person, and rightfully so. Critics and people tore him apart no matter what he did. Even before I went to see it I heard critics *cough idiots cough* complain about it, not ''gay'' enough, doesn't have this doesn't have that. Blah blah blah bullshit.

The movie is a celebration of Queens music, their legacy, the legend that was Freddie. He didn't give a flying fuck about stereotypes, he didn't give a flying fuck about what he should do, what is right, what is expected of him, what his music should sound like, he did his thing, and he did it bloody amazing. I don't think there's another singer out there right now or will there ever be another one with such power and such control over the audience, if you watch Live Aid you can see people as in a trance following Freddie's every single move.

Bohemian Rhapsody starts with Brian and Roger with a band nobody cared about, playing in dark shitty bars, trying to make it big, while being students, astrophysic and a dentist? Crazy isn't it? The band became THE band when Freddie joined. He was the heart, the soul and the bright shining star. Though I don't think that fame really was all that he hoped it's going to be. Or at least as much fun as he expected it to be.

One of the critics I heard most was that the movie isn't picturing Freddie right, that it feels like the movie is ashamed to show Freddie was gay. Like I'm sorry but were we watching the same movie? His sexual preference was more then obvious from the movie but also even if it wasn't, this is a movie about Queen not Freddie alone. About their music and legacy. And I just hate how people seem to ''degrade'' Fred down to just some gay singer. His sexual orientation wasn't all that he was. There was so much more to him than that. He was smart and caring, he loved cats, he was a good friend and a perfectionist which I assume made him hard to work with sometimes. I would guess the movie doesn't tell the audience more then we already know about Freddies gay relationships and HIV because he never told until the very end. Maybe in a way this is respecting his wishes, he never wanted to make a big deal out of it. Freddie loved his music, that was all that mattered, which is why I believe that's where the focus of the movie is, despite of course it being a Queen movie not Freddie movie.

The movie starts in the 70's when Freddie worked at the airport, he was different then already, special style, combing crazy pieces of clothing, trying different things. He was something special. After a quick ''audition'' on the parking lot Brian and Roger take him as the new singer and thank god they do don't you think? Even if I believe if they didn't, there would be a place for Freddie in the music business anyways. He was just too bright of a star to never shine.

What I really loved was that the movie ends with Live Aid preformance, which may I point out I've seen a million bloody times and the way Rami Malek does it, every move, every single move, he got it, spot on Freddie behaviour. The walk, the charisma. The kids got it. Anyways ending with Live Aid that happened in 1985, I think that was a great ending of an amazing movie. As I said before Live Aid was an amazing moment in musical history and despite the fact that Queen went on for six more years that were just as important as the rest, the movie couldn't have ended on a better note. Not just the concert but the rest, despite it being the cold truth, it's just too sad and I am glad it's not included. Better to end on a moment that went down in history.

Maybe what bothers me a tiny bit is the fact how their road from basically nobodys to megastars seemed to went on relatively without a hitch. But then again should you picture everything in a movie it should be made in at least three parts so it's understandable. I loved how they pictured his relationship with Mary Austin, since we all know how important she was to him.

But for real the most important thing of the movie, Rami Malek. Oh my fucking god. That man is not amazing he is AMAZING. He's like a secret weapon someone was hiding to unleash and shock us all. Woah, the way he acts, the way he stepped into Freddie shoes. It's just, it's amazing. The walk, the strutt! The facial expressions, the teeth, lip licking, everything down to the very last little detail, he lives and breathes Freddie. He is absolutely spectacular. Of course there's other cast members that are great as well. Like Ben Hardy as Roger, not only is he totally fun and all the ''old married couple'' bickering between him and Fred is great and he's really cute too (and did you know what a playboy Roger was? Haha), Rami outshines them all completly. Like they are not even there.

It's really not just a movie it's a masterpiece and honestly I would suggest every Queen fan and every music fan to give it a chance.

And Freddie. God I love you, you're so amazing, and I feel so lucky that if I wasn't able to see you live I at least live in a time I get to enjoy your voice and your legacy. Your voice is nothing short of absolutely amazing and Queen are one of the biggest bands on the planet not just because of the experimentation with your music, and the talent in the band, but also because of your charisma. Some people have it and some people don't.

In that spirit, taking out my iPod and putting ''Too much love will kill you'' as loud as it goes and on reply for about 20 times. Sweet dreams guys.

Friday, November 9, 2018

I don't mind, what you're doing to me, I don't mind, 'cause you're all I can see I don't mind, baby, you mean the world to me...

''When I look back on everything I've done I know you must have cried river of tears. But, you were there when I was feeling low to walk me through my darkest fears. So when the sun goes down an' those nights grow colder, I will be there, looking over your shoulder, an' the deeper the love, the stronger the emotion, an' the stronger the love, the deeper the devotion.''



''There were times I almost let you go when I thought I needed to break free, but you were there to whisper in my ear why don't you share my dreams with me. So when the sun goes down an those nights are growing colder I will be there looking over your shoulder. An' the deeper the love, the stronger the emotion, an' the stronger the love the deeper the devotion...''
Whitesnake - The deeper the love

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Have a spooky, scary, creepy, haunted Halloween.

October 31st is the one day in the year that I love most. It's stupid I know. But I do love Halloween. It's the one day in the year nobody looks sideways at my clothes, at my makeup, at my hair…nobody sticks their nose into my ''slightly different'' looks. Nobody comments or tells their kids ''never look like this''. It's a nice change so I tend to enjoy this day to the fullest.
My best friend and I used to go all out, decorations, matching couple costumes, scary movies, candy and popcorn. Things kinda changed over the years. Halloween is not as important where I live, not that it ever was, but also, all Halloween parties are stupid because of one single reason, people don't show up in costume. Like, what the hell? Why go to a Halloween party if you're not at least going to put some make up on? Then it's really just a party aint it? People are no fun I swear. It gets kinda boring when you and your ''squad'' are the only few people with faces caked in makeup in the club. Not that I care but you know, it's stupid. I suppose most people just don't like Halloween…which makes me....
To each their own I suppose, but then look at me, I live Halloween everyday. No wonder I get excited on October 31st. It was meant to be, it should be my birthday too if I wasn't born too fast. Damn it.
Anyways, do y'all know what Halloween actually means? The name actually came from All Hallows' Eve or All Saints' Eve and it's a celebration that actually should last for three days and are dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints / hallows. It is believed that it actually originated from ancient Celtic harvest festivals, a day known as Samhain which was a festival marking the end of harvest season and the begining of the ''darker half'' of the year aka winter. Who wants winter anyways? I'd make it illegal to be honest. Traditionally Samhain was celebrated from 31st of October to November 1st, began and ended at sunset.
Generally this festival had pagan roots, obviously. Did I tell you about the time when someone called me a pagan thinking they offended me? I just spat back at them ''better pagan then a filthy Kristian'' and said Christian literally made a cross with their fingers to chase me away. Hah, people. They're all crazy so help me. Anyways Samhein was Christianized as Halloween by the early church, here's another thing Christians stole from the pagans, while claiming it's theirs.
You know what I want though? A Halloween in America, they've got trick or treat, costume parties, pumpkins, bonfires, that crazy game with apples and water, haunted houses which I've never been to, ugh,…it must be a whole different experience than it is here. I mean we have our own version ''Pust'' in February but it's nowhere near as much fun.
Here's a fun Halloween fact for you, did you know that 30 million Americans will spend about 480 million dollars on Halloween costumes for their pets? Histerical. As my friend would say ''god is good, beer is great and people are crazy''. It's actually a lyric but he always says that.
Anyways I suppose you don't want a history lesson or me rambling how masks are literally so the dead that come back to earth on that one day wouldn't be able to see you, you'd probably rather hear about that night when my ex and I went on a Halloween party as Joker and Harley Quinn and how the next morning our sheets were a mess of green, white, red, blue and pink makeup…fun times. Mark that down as another time of my life I miss. But instead of rambling, enjoy these…I wanted a change from my regular bloody vampire princess look…

''When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween.''

Monday, October 22, 2018

Do you believe in life after love?

Alright, so I suppose you know I am not keen on female voices? I don't know what's up with that but in 99% I don't listen to any female vocals. It's been that way since forever. I like Pat Benatar, Heartbreaker is totally my song, I should tell you the story about how I once sang that song in a bar full of bikers, half dressed, with a huge pink feather boa around my neck. Very drunk on tequila and vodka mind you. Good times. But for real, I love Pat, as well as Joan Jett, Janis Joplin, Blondie, Donna Summer on occasion, Cyndi Lauper, sometimes Ellen Foley her Nightout is a great album, some more recent preformers that are completly unknown who's songs I heard in random tv shows, podcast kinda music. But mostly I love Cher. I don't know when that happened, she's so far from that superior music taste I usually got but hell, I love her.
So this is what this post is about, Cher, or better yet the first album of hers I got my hands on. Not crying happy tears but damn near close to it. I swear there was nobody happier then me when I heard that she's playing the role of Ruby in Mamma mia 2 and I literally only went for her and the entire time she was on the screen I was like ''yessss Queen!'' hah.
No idea when that love started. I loved her since as long as I can remember. I have a greatest hits cassette tape which is pretty much a miracle that it's not worn out, it used to play in the car non stop, as well as these two…
Musician's daughter what can I say? For the most part anyways, my dad never understood or supported my love for Cher. In times that were far easier then days are now we used to drive to the sea side a couple of times a year and we had this old red Ford and 90% of the time music that played in it was music I picked, on cassette tapes. Hey it was the 90's after all. I miss those days so bad you know? It makes me so mad watching kids born in 1999 saying how they miss the 90's, like excuse me but shut up. My childhood were the 90's and for the most part they were really happy. I really miss those days.
Anyway back to Cher, it's a miracle I even dig her given that she is usually referred to as the ''goddess of pop''. Me and pop music? Uh no thank you. For the most part anyways, I do manage to make some exceptions like, Michael Jackson, love him, also Sam Smith and Adam Lambert though their music can't really be labeled as pop. Adam is more of a rocker with his Queen collaboration and Sam might as well be a bit of an RNB and soul as well.
So Cher. She first gained her popularity as one half of the rock folk pop duo Sonny and Cher in the 60's when their song ''I got you babe'' totally crushed both American and British charts. They sold millions and millions of records worldwide and became the ''it'' couple of rock music. Can't say we even got an it couple now, what do you guys think? For me the it ''couple'' would be Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood, obsessed with thier Fighter song. Though they don't count. Since they are not a real couple. But the song is amazing.
Cher worked on her solo career while still being in the duo, and she was also a tv personality with the show ''Sonny and Cher comedy hour'' I literally never watched that but I wish I could. It was super popular and she became a sort of trend setter with her clothes in the show. My mom had a ton of clothes like Chers even if she was my age years later. I keep bitching at her for giving all the clothes away, cuz literally I'd steal all of it right now. Like I stole a few pairs of jeans, a sweater and a jeans vest, all older then me but ironically my favorite pieces of clothing, well next to all my leather and band shirts.
Anyways, one of the biggest career breakthroughs for Cher was Believe in 1998 which by the way is the biggest selling single of all time by a female artist in UK, so suck it Adele. This is the first song ever that had auto tune effect also known as the Cher effect. It's a dumb song we all know it but hell I love it. I sing along to it every single time it comes on the radio. It's not just a song anymore it's a memory of a happier time. The tape started with Believe so each time we packed up, went for the sea side the drive started with this tape and this song. Do you ever feel that? When a random song comes on the radio, maybe a song you haven't heard in years and suddenly you're transported somewhere long ago, and you suddenly feel all the feelings again, you remember the people, the times, everything? It's amazing what power a single song, or music can have.
Anyway couple of years later in 2002 up to 2005 Cher was on her first (hah yes first) farewell tour which ended up being one of the highest grossing concert tours of all time (at that time she was later topped by Celine Dion and the Stones and of course U2, but you really can't compete with those) earning a whooping 250 million. More then the Boss. Can you imagine that? And all that aside Cher also has a Grammy, an Emmy, an Oscar, three Golden globes, a Cannes film festival award and of course a ton of others, one even for her fashion. Queen. Just saying.
But that isn't all there is to admire about Cher. Her great music and awarded many times personality you have to love her for her political views (hates Trump, you go girl!), philantropy, social activism and fight for LGBT rights and HIV prevention. Did you guys catch her on the James Corden show? They did the ''spill your guts or fill your guts'' game. You know you either chose to tell the truth on a question or eat something disgusting and before any questions are asked Cher says, about a raw cow's tongue ''I don't care what it is, I am ratting out my mother, I aint going to eat this'' then the question is ''say something nice about Trump'', hah and without a word Cher bites into that tongue. I couldn't stop giggling about it. My vegetarian feelings aside I'd rather eat that too then say something nice about Trump.
So you probably noticed that she's on tour right now, of course only USA, don't ask how tempted I am to see her play say in Vegas, wishful thinking, but so help me jesus if she comes to Europe…nobody is stopping me I'd totally lose it. I watched a few of her concert videos the other day, songs, clothes, glitter makeup, so on point, I love it all.




Alright lets finally get to the album or this will be ridiculously long. Again. This is the first album of hers I got. (from a friend, he knows who he is, so thank you, I really need a sponsored by and his name on this blog at this point because without him, you guys would have nothing to read). Also one of my favorite albums of hers as is because there 's two songs I really love on it, If I could turn back time and Love on a rooftop. Probably not as famous song, not over played like Believe or Just like Jesse James but a great song non the less. As stupid and as cliche as it sounds I did actually sit on a garage rooftop during hot summer nights listening to that song, amongst others of course. Simpler better times as I said. My biggest issue then were boys and clothes and petty bullshit like that.
This album came out in June 1989 and it was the ninteenth studio album by Cher. Nineteenth! I think I could literally wrap all my walls in my room in her vinyl and I'd still have some room left. The album sold in 4 million copies and was supported by a sold out tour. Oh look at that another cool tour just like ''Use your illusion'' that I missed. I know it's no point pining over tours I missed when I wasn't even born. Hah. But for real, in the 80's and early 90's the music made sense, I missed the prime time of GN'R, the Crue, Skid Row, Warrant,…and that just sucks. Really.
During recording of this album Cher was dating Rob Camilletti to whom this album is dedicated to and did you know that Emotional fire has back vocals by Bonnie Tyler and Michael Bolton? Heart of stone reached top ten on number ten actually in US, number seven in UK and topped the charts in Australia which made it Geffen's first international number one album. You're probably asking how that's possible since there's Appetite for destruction but that's because Appetite didn't sell when it first came out, might be because of the original cover or whatever but it only started selling later in the following year and up to now it became the best selling debut of all time.
This is yet another album with a cover that was later replaced. The original one has an artwork on it, Cher next to a huge literal heart of stone, it was really cute but aparently someone had an issue (looking at you soccer moms and desperate housewives) so it was re released with a more polished and more conventional photo. It's not bad as you see only the original felt more…real. It was a painting by Octavio Ocampo and what bothered people was that you can see a skull if you look closely. What's so provocative about that I wonder? As you can imagine the original cover ones are now a collectors item. I see them on eBay now and then, surprisingly not too expensive.
Safe to say I love playing this album and think about those days that seem so far away now. Even further after this year after all the hell I've been through. It's true that the last bit of sanity I've got left is there only due to my music being played loud and forgetting that the world exists for a bit. Lately I've been listening to music that is not me at all but I love it non the less. Sam Smith, Rag n bone man? Not me at all but jesus their songs Lay me down and Grace will be the death of me, those voices and those lyrics….
What I really wanted to say was that there's a line in Love on a rooftop ''What ever happened to those endless nights when we were happy living young and foolish lives''. Which is something that's haunting me too, what the hell happened? It's not growing up it's falling apart too many times, till at some point you just don't dream anymore because you know dreams don't come true. You don't wish because wishes are never granted and you forget how to fight because you're too used of losing anyways.
In the light of recent events I promised myself to at least try and do something for myself daily, and it doesn't matter if it's taking a pause to breathe during all the stress or play my favorite song. Problem is that none of it is worth it guys, none of the things happening are worth your mental health or your pain or you being anything but happy. Life is short as is and spending it unhappy over people that are not even worth it is pointless. I know it's easier said then done, believe me been struggling with that for as long as I live, but I'm trying.
So in the light of what I just wrote, I'll go play myself this album and think of people and memories that I miss. And guess what, if I close my eyes and try real hard I can almost feel being back in those days, endless summer nights, never ending conversations, innocent kisses and best hugs on the planet. Back to feeling carefree, stress free and loved. Funny how little people yearn for. Peace, love and understanding.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Love walked in.

I suppose if you guys have been reading my ramblings for a while you came to realise many things, probably not all of them good? Hah. I can see you rolling your eyes at some posts or thinking I am a complete nutcase at others. Hopefully sometimes I manage to write down my opinions and thoughts in a way that makes it at least bearable to read if not enjoyable. Or maybe I manage to inspire you. But above all through it all I think you probably caught on to how complex and all over the place my music taste is. I used to say to people ''well you know I'm not that great beauty and brains wise but my music taste is fucking amazing'' hah.
Usually when people ask me ''what kind of music do you like?'' I reply with ''you're not ready for that conversation''. And it's 100% true too. Where do I even begin to explain? There is so much that I love and there is so much that I can't stand. And there is so much that inspires me and helps me feel better and less alone. But there's no point debating tastes really. Something I love you probably hate and vice versa.
Music was never some background noise for me, something to drown out the silence…I'm the person that puts a song on replay again because I wasn't paying close attention the first time, or missed my favorite part even if it's a song like November rain, whos lyrics I could recite in the middle of the night and probably backwards too.
Here's the deal, I love classical music, maybe you wouldn't get that straight from the start but really, I do. I listen to Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Brahms, Debussy, Vivaldi, Haydn, Wagner, Verdi,…when I need to relax or when I lay awake on my bed in the middle of the night and guess what? It helps. More then Metallica could strangely enough. I also love Paganini, he was a genius and a bad boy, what more could one ask for? And to be quite honest without these musicians maybe music as we know it today wouldn't even exist.
So it's really no surprise that I just love someone like David Garrett is it? For those of you who don't know him. David is a musical genius and a record breaking German violinist. He plays crossover, pop, rock, classic, anything. But guys seriously he's a miracle, not only does he hold a world record for the fastest violin player on the planet that can play 13 notes in one single second. Can you imagine that? 13 notes in one single second! It's amazing that's what it is, but he also holds the record fort he fastest violin player because he preformed Flight of the bumblebee in 1 minute and 5,26 seconds. Like, how? Oh right as he says ''practice daily for 25 plus years''. Hah.
He started playing at the age 4 and attended Juliard as well. My favorite school. If life was fair that's where I'd be today. Let me dream and pretend I'd ever be admitted. Anyways point! David also plays a Stradivarius violin. Stradivari are instruments build by an Italian family in the 17th and 18th century and quite honestly there's not a better violin out there. I wouldn't even have the balls to touch it nevermind play it. The prices for one are usually millions on auctions, but they are super rare anyways. Now just think, David got his first one (yep he has more then one, but if not him then who will?) when he was just 11 years old from the German president after he had played for him. Some gift right? Then again his talent deserves nothing less.
I suppose what drew me to him for the first time is the fact that he knows how to mix up Mozart and Metallica and make it incredible, classical music getting a fresh rocker vibe is amazing. Not just for people like me that love both genres but also to maybe bring classical music to a wider audience, to people who never imagined they could listen and like something like a violin and a classicaly trained musician. Of course it doesn't harm just how good looking he is. Hah. Seriously I love love love his music and he could look like Trump and it wouldn't make a difference for me I'd still love the music but jesus I'm only human I got eyes, the man has a smile that makes the sun look pathetic. I caught myself sighing on the concert a couple of times.
While we're on that topic, there's a bar just round the corner from the venue, where I usually kill some time before shows. I love it because they always play music from the artist preforming that night. How cool is that? A pre concert warm up. Haha. Anyways I walked in before the show for a coffee enjoying the music and there's some people that didn't have tickets but knew him and I caught a conversation between this couple and the man was like ''but what are you going to do with such music there's not even any singing'' *cough idiot cough* and she goes ''but who cares? With a face like his''. So really, his looks are more of a distraction aren't they? I wonder how many women came JUST for his music. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't either. The man is gorgeous, his talent, his style, his face, smile, everything is so on point. You know that ''face carved by the angels'' kinda thing?
As per usual the show starts with him slowly walking up to the stage through the crowd. With two gorillas tagging along may I add. Hard to get around them but I think a determined fan could make it happen. Hah. No I didn't try, though I should have. If they'd end me at least I'd die happy.
What I really loved is how many Slovenian words and phrases David learned and how well he pronounced them. He wouldn't have to. Everyone here understands English real well, or at least basic English or even German, but he shows a deeper conection and deviotion to his fans and I think that's real sweet of him. I couldn't stop giggling when before playing Purple rain he asked if there are any Prince fans in the house tonight (still in Slovenian) then he goes ''gosh this was harder then this next song''. Hah. Adorable.

He of course played songs from Armin van Buuren and David Guetta, Stevie Wonder, Led Zepp, Prince, Coldplay, The Verve, Vaya Con Dios, Wings, Eminem (hello Eminem in classical version? It's mindblowing), Bruce Springsteen (cue in fangirling), Rage against the machine and of course Michael Jackson. Let's not forget that he also played a piece by Vivaldi that he dedicated to his mother saying she's somewhere in the audience but he can't see her. Hah. Isn't that so cute? That he brought his mom with and dedicated her her favorite song? I melted a little not going to lie.
There was also Let it go from Frozen. Like my Disney loving heart exploded and the words he said before playing it about love, equality etc, really beautiful. And just because he aparently thought I don't love him enough already there was the theme song to one of my favorite movies too (that is a long list as is, but this movie I really love both original and remake) Ghostbusters and it was just woah! The effects and lights on it (the entire gig really) and also sound effects during, saying ''who you gonna call? Ghostbusters'' and ''I aint afraid of no ghost''. It was SO cool.
Did I mention he takes a little walk around the venue also while playing? Because he does. He was awfully close to me then and I really couldn't remember how you take a breath or what song he was playing at the time. I could melt into a puddle on the ground and just be done with.
Let's not even get into how a few lucky coughbitchescough I mean women had the fortune to meet him backstage before the show. No idea how they got in or believe me I'd make it happen but autographs and pictures aside he likes hugging fans? Let's be serious, I would never survive that. I'd have the same experience as my friend, when her favorite musician hugged her and she passed out. Literally. Only the story went on with him feeling so bad that he personally took care of her meaning she pretty much woke up in his arms, you can imagine how that went. Obviously with her passing out again. Histerical.
This is the part where I complain again though. Of course not over this perfect blonde cupcake but over a couple of other things. First of, I live in a country of complete and utter idiots. The venue was half empty which is why I assume the people working with Davids social media accounts didn't even post that he was here. We have NO and I do mean no appreciation for good music. And it's horrible. No wonder no big music names never stop here. And I mean Rolling stones and Metallica big, not Bryan Adams who by some miracle seems to love this country. Makes one of us right? Hah.
Also organisation. I can't yell that loud enough. This is the only literally only country and capital or bigger city I've been on a concert to that didn't have public transport arranged for the concert. In Milano, in Vienna, Zagreb, Budapest. There are city buses or a subway that wait and make sure everyone gets home. While here there are no buses last one I think goes at around 10 and then forget it. It's problematic because the venue is really far from the city center and taxi service beside expensive is a bunch of rude fucks that drive you crazy. You would easier buy the shroud of Turin then get a cab in Ljubljana in the middle of the night. Just saying. It was the same story on Adams and it was the same story on Green day. I mean come on!
Let's not even get into that if you don't have a car there is no way to even get out of the capital at night. I had to spend the night in hotels in the past just because I couldn't get a train last one leaves at 22:50 and that's that. You know how idiotic I find this? Renting hotel rooms less then 100 km from home? I did call the railroad service and tell them that they're idiots, and that it wouldn't kill them to organise a train for the days of events not everyday, and why and what do I get? ''well that's a great idea'' uh? How about make it happen then? I know quite a lot of people that would love to see more concerts and events in LJ but they never do because getting home is next to impossible.
Anyways back to the concert. There are a lot of big names I've seen and each time I thought it can't be better. Like Bon Jovi in Milano, which was one of the best shows in his more recent career as is and I thought ''well shit nothing can top that'' then The Boss in Milano happened and then Guns n' Roses and the Rolling stones, comparing those is stupid they were all amazing but honestly I never thought there's gonna be a concert that I'll love as much or equally any more, well it happened. This concert was everything I hoped for and more.

If I was in love with him before then now I have it worse. Like a million times worse. I already made plans in my head to see him again next year in Vienna. Which 100% won't happen due to other things going on in my life right now but it would be real nice if it could. There were already posters all over Vienna last month when I was there. Amazing photo too, then again all pictures with him are just amazing. Cue in batting eyelashes, hearts in the eyes and sighing over this program that I bought at the show. The pictures in it? They should be illegal is all I'm saying.
I had a choice to make in April if I'm buying tickets for David Garrett or Iron Maiden and all my friends were like ''eh she's getting Maiden tickets no doubt'' and I was like ''hell no, I love Maiden but they are not going to win this'' and I got Garrett tickets without blinking and you know what? I am so glad I did. This was just what I needed to relieve some of the stress I'm under and to breathe a bit easier. To feel a bit of that nice zen feeling.
The music was amazing, the man is amazing. And the entire show was a whole new experience that is hard to even put into words. Despite the not so full venue I hope he comes back because I would just love another night with him. Thank you David for sharing your talents (and that gorgeous smile) with us, I enjoyed it more then I can say and hope to see you again some time.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Baby you are my horizon

''It's a long way home, when you're on your own and your only friends are traffic lights, speaking in Morse code. Yeah the road is long, and I am tired, but with you on my horizon, I will drive until it all breaks down. 'Cause I can't breathe without you near, you keep me safe, keep me sane, keep me honest. You keep me alive, on the edge of tonight, chasing tomorrow, with fire in my eyes, you're like a siren in the dark, you're the beat playing in my heart, you keep me alive, on the edge of tonight.''




The Edge of Tonight - All Time Low

Friday, September 14, 2018

Fate placed us together, tell me why, oh tell me why. So if you can't face forever then tell me lies, oh, tell me lies.

So…I'm gonna do a travel piece for a change. And most likely it's going to be really long, so go get some snaks before you start reading and get ready for some, travel, lifestyle, food, and all the rest of that crap that seems to be oh so popular when it comes to blogging.



It's no secret that Vienna is one of my favorite cities on this planet. No, I haven't seen the entire planet yet but you get the point. Berlin will always be my favorite there's no changing that. Fell in love with it the first time I was there. Fell in love with the….you know how people say some cities live and breathe? Someone was explaining that to me once and I thought he was crazy…but then I saw Berlin for the first time and it was…magical, the city felt alive. The art, the culture, the vibe. All of it. It was something special.
But this isn't about Berlin, lord knows if I go there I'll never stop typing. Vienna is an amazing city and only 5 hours away from home by train or car. I'm there a lot but usually just for a few hours because it's my favorite concert city. I've seen all my favorite bands there but rarely stayed for more then a couple of hours, we always came in on the day of the concert and went back home right after. This time there was no concert but a short vacation instead.
Let me start this post with a huge culture shock I get each time I'm there. I can't process how clean the city is, how nice people are, how open, judgment free they are. We may be 50 minutes apart by air but mentaly we are millions of miles apart. First day I got there I walked into a gay event. Rainbow flags, a red carpet cat walk, music such as ''I'm coming out'' and three guys with signs ''totally gay, not gay enough, gay enough'' as marks for those who walked the cat walk. Nobody turned around, nobody glared, nobody said a mean word. I was so amazed because home? They would tear them apart. We're not there yet, when it comes to loving who you wanna love, we're complete idiots. And I hate it. I joined the event for like an hour and enjoyed it SO much.
Of course after that was the ''must do a few times I'm staying here'' walk down my fave Mariahilfer strasse. One of the biggest shopping streets? Uh yes please. It's ''only'' 2 kilometers long and there's something for literally everyone found there. Even a weirdo like me ''cough Rattlesnake cough''. I love it there, stores, people, everything is so different then home and so amazing. Counting between days I'd say right after museums I spent most time there. Street food, shops, ''photo sessions'', churches…
First museum I've seen on this trip was ''Albertina''. Can I just say OH MY GOD?! Did I ever imagine standing in front of works of art by not only my favorite artists but like biggest artistic geniuses ever? No I didn't. Museum starts with a bunch of so called ''state rooms'', palace like rooms, one is yellow one is red one is green…it's very ''kitchy'' but I honestly love it in a weird way. Wouldn't be a bad place to live.
As the exhibition goes on you see Michelangelo's sketches, red and black chalk nude body studies, there's only three of his works but can you imagine? The genius that is Michelangelo actually drew that, his actual hands were drawing those lines? I can't even process that. I can't process that for all the rest either.
Monet? Like those of you who know me well know that he is my absolute favorite. Paint brush strokes, light, shadow, the moment captured…all of it so bloody inspiring and perfect. There's something about his works that just pulls me in and doesn't let go. Albertina has a couple of his works like ''view of Vetheuil'' which is absolutely gorgeous with it's light pastel colors and gentle strokes.
There's works by Cezanne, Renoir, Lebasque, Degas, Matisse, Braque, Picasso, Signac, Rodin, Munch, Modigliani and of course others famous local and none local artists. A lot of painters I didn't know before but ended up loving. There was a piece of art that I particulary loved ''Paul Delvaux ''Landscape with Lanterns'' '' . And it happened to be so brilliantly displayed on a blue wall that brought out the colors on the painting itself even more.
I ended up wondering if the paintings are even real because I couldn't believe I'm actually standing in front of them.
There's a lot of architectural sketches as well as photography pieces, mostly USA but brilliant pictures. A tiny piece of the museum offers contemporary art as well, some pop art, Warhol and such. There's a piece…it was so bizarre and morbid and amazing, that I just adored, and so realistic. You wouldn't believe it's not a photograph looking at it. I ended up taking some pictures of people watching the art because I just loved how they were into it, discussing colors, techniques used and other things. Nothing like home when people fly by not really stopping.
After Albertina there was of course St. Stephans cathedral. I am obsessed, literally obsessed with old churches, the architecture, paintings, ceiling art, stained glass windows…though this one when it comes to the ceiling it's pretty boring, no paintings just the typical gothic arches. But the altar and the rest is amazing. Really gives you that whole ''makes you feel small'' feeling. I ended wandering up into St. Peters cathedral that's a few hundred meters away and I can say that that one is far more impressing. The ceiling, the altar, the pulpit? My god, so much gold, but so beautiful. I sat in it for a while ( would you believe it even has feet heaters? ) and listen to the organs play and it was a really beautiful moment even for someone as allergic to religion as I am. Though the bones they had on full display creeped me out a little bit not going to lie.


The museum tour went on with Belvedere. Which was a museum I wanted to see for a few years now. There's two of them the upper and lower Belvedere but let's be serious I was only into the upper one because it's the home of Gustav Klimts ''The Kiss''. I've seen his 100 years anniversary exhibition at the Leopold's museum few years ago but they didn't include the Kiss in it. And finally seeing it was a moment of it's own. I knew it's beautiful but I couldn't imagine it being that beautiful till I actually saw it. The gold color is so amazing in person, no photograph ever does it justice. Of course the rest of the museum is pretty empty but the room with the Kiss is totally crowded. People. Such sheeps. I enjoyed the rest of the museum a lot actually too. They don't have a lot of Klimt though most is still in Leopolds museum but they have a lot of other painters including some same big names as Albertina. And a couple of rooms, ceilings and a view to die for.
There was a moment when I walked into another random room and finally found myself in front of the ''Napoleon crossing the Alps'' now as you may know there are five versions of this painting that actually matter, and I was fully convinced that I've seen one years ago in Italy when we were on the island Elba, which would only make sense no? Well shit I was wrong, it would appear that this was my first time seeing one of the originals. But holy shit is it amazing or what? The red cape? The color is so vibrant, and the details on Napoleon's face and the horse, that horses tail! Gosh that really is a work of art. I absolutely adored it from the first second I saw it. I had to be sitting in front of it for the longest time, admiring it and taking in every single detail.
You can of course also find numerous paintings of Franz Joseph and Sisi, no wonder, and some early Christianic art, which I'm more then familiar with since our National gallery back home has about a ton of.

I had a funny moment with the security guard at the Belvedre, no not running from him no worries but actually chatting. They wear all black, trousers, suit jackets and black shirts, very elegant may I add. Anyways I was wearing my black ''not today satan'' shirt and the security stopped me started laughing said he loves my shirt then he's like ''imagine me wearing it under my jacket, if anyone gave me any trouble I could just open the jacket and show it to them'' hah, I told him I think that's a wonderful idea and then break his heart by telling him I painted it myself so he can't go buy it down the street. He was super nice btw, nothing like the idiots back home.
I ended up the Belvedere trip in the gardens, which are out of this world also mind you, the fountains ( with a ton of crows flying around and bathing in them ) the flowers, the perfectly cut green grass. Gorgeous. But kinda too hot to wander around for long. So help me jesus I didn't imagine it will be that hot in Vienna in September. Mostly I only had bad luck with weather in Austria in the ''late summer'', gray, moody and rainy mostly. This time I thanked all the gods I thought of taking a pair of shorts with ''just in case'' along with my usual black skinny jeans.
Did I mention though that this was my first time coming to ''Wien Hauptbanhof''? they were building it for so long, each time I went to Vienna in the past couple of years we always ended up at ''Wien Meindling'' and now I can see why it took them so long. It's an amazing station, 90 shops, 3 stories down, jesus christ. Our biggest shopping mall back home isn't that big and doesn't offer pretty much everything your heart desires as they do here.
This was also the first time I went to see the market. I feel like cemeteries and markets are the most important thing to see to get the feel of what the city is like. But this was nothing like the markets I'm used to or the markets I've ever seen. It's probably the size of my entire hometown. Starts with antiques, fleamarket, with such amazing things you wouldn't believe. Vinyl, clothes, antiques, anything and everything, but don't let the name fleamarket fool you, the prices are really high and they don't like bargain.
The part with the food though, that's another story, should I start at the begining or how I almost married an Egyptian man? Hah. It's a never ending street of all kinds of food that you can try too, fruit, nuts, cheese, meat, sea food, all kinds of olives and spices, things I never even heard of much less seen in person. It's loud, there's a blues band playing live, ''Fly me to the moon'', food in and out of the restaurants smells amazing….a place where you can get lost for a couple of hours.
So…I was obviously into buying a few samples of fruit and nuts because that's something I actually like and this guy calls me over by calling me ''Michael Jackson'' probably because I wore the same shades as he did. Hah. He asked me to try a few things and tell him what I like most, or should I say feeding me some things giggling and ''begging'' not to bite his fingers. Hah. It was histerical we went back and forth like this for a long time, in which he was also kissing my neck, we were hugging, he told me that his heart can't take it no more, that I'm going to break it by leaving and that if he ever gets married he will only marry me. Ha. Probably a very clever marketing trick, I'd imagine I wasn't the first tourist to hear such a story, but you know me, I love anything Arabic ( or Lebanese cough Jack cough ) and I got a great price for all the fruit I bought so it was worth it.
On the way from the market I also saw a couple of universities that made mine really look bleek and small and unimportant and yet another church. ''Karlskirche''. Now that one is really spectacular. Holy shit. Excuse my language but really…it's beyond amazing. I didn't go in though because I thought that eight euros for church entrance is proposterous. Aren't gods doors open for everyone? So I was like ''no thank you'' and just admired it from the outside. It has a great fountain and food trucks in front of it and it just so happened that it was the street art week and there were all kinds of artists all around, like drawing on the side walk, preforming arts, musicians, you name it it was there.
There was also some amazing food included. When I'm on the go in another city I just hate wasting time in a restaurant and also money and also nerves, being vegetarian and all, so instead I tried a few different types of street food, affordable and so good, Asian, Arabic, Turkish, Greek. Crazy good. And to top it all, Donkin Donuts and Starbucks….I know I know don't judge me. But guys pumpkin spice latte? I tried it for the first time because they literally never had it before and I thought I died on the spot. It's amazing how good that is. And would you believe Starbucks spelled my name correct? What kind of a miracle is that? There was a really sweet barista there, we chatted for a while about random things, he told me I have an ''knee weakening smile''. Made my day to be honest.
One of the highlights of the trip for me, was also the ''butterfly house''. I keep complaining that there are NO butterflies back home and that's totally true, I haven't seen one in forever so actually seeing a ton of different ones was amazing. Though you know me, I am sceptical about ''trapped'' animals when they should be free, but it looks like they have a great living space there. You walk into this tropical ( very hot, I don't recommend it in the summer ) house with plants, water fall, tunnels, it's small but great. Butterflies fly around your head, if you're lucky they'd fly on your hand or head as it happened to a Russian tourist walking in front of me, hah, he kept walking and the butterfly just sat on his head. Histerical.

Different butterflies sit on flowers centimeters away, you can take amazing pictures and just admire them because they are absolutely beautiful, specially this blue one, but good luck catching that one, they don't sit still at all. I walked around two times despite the heat because I just loved it there.
Now you know me, priorities and such. Since I was really thirsty and tired after I of course decided to run to the first bar I see. That didn't happen. Priorities made me walk quite a distance to find the Hard Rock. Where else would you expect me to drink? 100 % of the profits from the drinks that day were donated to a charity organisation helping buy instruments for kids all over the world, and I opted for trying out a local kind of beer that the waiter recommend it. It was really good btw. Anyways, of course this is just the place for me, did I mention I took a photo on an amazing red and silver throne? Or that they have Bruce Springsteen stage worn shirt? As well as Freddie Mercurys entire outfit, Ozzy Osbournes boots, Richie Samboras guitar and Nikkis bass? Like Nikki Sixx actually played that bass! Holy shit. There's more of course like Kiss, Coldplay, Slayer etc…
And the staff is the nicest, sweetest, kindest staff you could hope to meet. From the restaurant to the shop everyone is super helpful and friendly. Before leaving I sit down on another huge sofa posing for a picture and the same waiter that helped us pick a drink smiled and I tell him he can join me anytime and he's like ''I'm not actually allowed at work'' so I'm like ''shame, maybe after work then'' and he just sighs, smiles, calls over his friend I was eyeing the entire time and they sit next to me for a picture. Can I say my heart stopped for a few seconds? Hah. Felt very diva like in that moment.
After the Hard rock ( I'm like literhally craving on going back just for the Hard rock lol ) I ended up in the ''Haus des meeres'' which in theory is an aquarium but so much more. Expensive as hell so be ready for that, two tickets almost 40 euros. I've been in the aquarium before but decided to go again because they did a lot of renovation and opened up a short tunnel. I love those. Nothing like the one in Barcelona but still really neat.
The funny part is that the best part of the aquarium are not fish at all. They have a ''tropical room'' or something like that, not because of the temparature it's not that hot at all but tropical due to exotic animals. There's little monkeys that run around, pretty much over your shoulders, close enough to touch, though you know, they can bite so touching might not be the best idea, hah, but they're close enough to do it. Super cute, super into posing so you really can take the best pics in there. There's also all kinds of birds, turtles, huge crocs and of course bats ( super cute bats nibbling on carrots oh my gosh ).

The aquarium has eleven floors, others consist of different types of fish, frogs, snakes, lizards, unfortunally spiders as well but luckily there's only a few of those. They have a giant and I do mean giant anaconda. Now I am not fond of snakes, like at all, but that one was gorgeous. As long as it's behind the glass mind you. I stuck my hand in a fish tank ( it's allowed no worries hah ) with these special fish types that people use to clean your hands, feet, nails. Such a funny feeling, tiny fish nibbling at your hands, it tickles nothing more but it's so funny. Just so you know though, my hands felt incredibly clean and soft after.
There's also a huge huge tank, top to bottom spread over almost three floors with fish, sharks, and other animals but what I love in there is a turtle. A really really big turtle. I was lucky enough that it took a little swim around it rather then just sit at the bottom and let me tell you something, it's the size of a small car. Amazing.
When you get to the top there's a deck with a view to die for. Though it's breathtaking it's a bit overwhelming too. For as far as your eyes can see it's nothing but houses and concrete. Being from where I am, I miss the parks, the trees, the forests, the green scenery to be fair. It's beautiful but…so much cement. Though in the far distance there's some hills as well. I don't know how long I was in the aquarium but had to be a long time since it was almost closing time when I left.

It's hard to say what I was most looking forward to or what I was most excited to see because there's so much to do in Vienna but one of the things was definatelly Prater park ( you know me huge Komissar Rex fan ) and of course Madam Tussauds. Yes again. The first time I was there was so much fun that I just had to go again. The tickets will seriously kill your budget, unless you buy them online but it's worth it because it's just too much fun. And so much has changed since I was there last, like seriously guys even the wax figures changed clothes, no joke. But then again all that I needed to see was that they added Benedict Cumberbatch to the collection and I was sold.
The paparazzi running around that I loved so much the last time was gone though so that sucked but it was still a great experience. Posing with your favorite stars? Uh yes please. Of course if they were actually alive it would be so much better but hey I'll take what I can get. They have important people from sports ( that I don't even know hah ), politics, arts, history, Obama even, and a ton of musicians and movie stars. Like the entire One direction and they are literally the first thing you see after walking to a different floor. Yes, I took a picture with them, or two, or three, hey don't judge me. Aparently I also became the American president for a few seconds, a news reporter, got thrown in jail with Mandela, I was a violin player, a keyboard player, a crazy drummer with pink hair and most important, Johnny Depps new wife. Hah. Shut up a girl can dream.



GUYS! They have Elvis Presley! I shrieked a little bit. And Johnny is so gorgeous. Sigh. Not for sale though. Yep literally I asked. Hah. Again, a girl can dream. The store at the museum is also amazing, all the little items that have are so cute and also most important, LGBT post cards. No joke, rainbow post cards, cards with cute sayings how love knows no gender etc. No I didn't buy one of each at all. Come on I just love how they love and don't judge.
Prater changed and expanded since I was last there as well, like 1000000 % no joke. It's huge. The amusement park used to have what a few rides and the huge ferris wheel. But now? OH MY GOD. The attractions? Anything you possibly want, hounted houses, Jack the Rippers house, Psycho hotel with It painted at the side, those scary tunnels, wild west, dinosaurs, like Jurassic park type thing, so many different bumper cars, things that really spike up your adrenaline…there was one that made me sick just looking at it. Sooooo high. And I mean getting up there aint so bad, the problem is that it goes down. And by goes down I mean falls down, fast. I'm not brave enough to go but I imagine that the view must be amazing.
There's of course roller coasters, pretty much any type of food you'd want from popcorn, cotton candy, chocolate covered fruit, caramel apples. All delicious mind you. And obviously different types of stands with games where you can win prizes or make your boyfriend win you the biggest stuffed unicorn possible. You feel me ladies right?
It's an amazing park but if you wander in be ready to stay for the entire day because it's just…wild, so colorful and interesting and each time you cut a corner something new will draw you in. I thought I'll be in an out in like two hours tops, ended up staying the entire day. Amazing place to get lost in for a few hours and forget about the world.
And of course it was also ( finally ) time to actually see the bloody river. Danube I mean of course. In the strict city center I'm always in you won't see it. So I took a little U bahn drive to the river bank. The ''neue Donau'' as they call it. The river is split, a smaller part runs around the huge wide river and it's made for swimming, water sports and such, cleaner and nicer. Did I cross my wish of the bucket list ''swimming naked in the Donau''? what do you think? Even if that was meant to be in the middle of Budapest but I guess I don't feel like getting arrested. Hah. It's a welcome cool off when it's as hot as the past week was.
I crossed another wish off the bucket list by going to the cemetery. Now that is a whole new different world for me. Did I mention you can drive with a car around it because the damn thing is SO big? Almost 100 000 square meters with over 330 000 graves. Can you imagine that? I mean I don't know how big our city center is but I'd imagine it's smaller then this cemetery. They do have about 10 times more ''inhabitants'' then we do anyways.
Oh! Same as home the cemetery is full of crows. I love that and also expect me to be a crazy tourist that never saw a squirel before because I ended up chasing one. There's so many there! Oh my god. Do I remember seeing a squirel home….like ever? No I don't. But gosh she was cute.
Right point. The cemetery is of course important because it's the final resting place of Beethoven. Yes THE Beethoven. I never imagined that I'll actually ever ''see'' him. In a way anyways. He's my favorite classical composer in case you didn't know. In the same small ''island'' of graves you can find; Schubert, Strauss ( that is actually spelled Stravss on the grave? ), Brahms and a dedication to Mozart since he is not actually buried here. There's a mystery around his final resting place as in he was supposed to be buried in an annonymous grave and the location of it is unknown. There's only a vague idea where he ''may be''. I read once that even his wife wasn't sure but instead she relied on cemetery staff to point it out amongst a number of unmarked graves. Fascinating isn't it? One of the biggest composers ever, pretty much lost to the world.

 
Walking on the cemetery is nice, there's enough shade, a lovely church in the middle of it and graves so spectacular that will take your breath away. Literally things I never imagined possible. A grave of a mayor? My god. Crazy. But unfortunally for me not many angels like there are in New Orleans.
Now as my days here are running out ( all good things must end right? ) I'm taking it easy, fashion week is starting, not that I'm into fashion at all but ''when in Rome'' right? Doing a little shopping, also in my favorite and far too expensive shop called the Rattlesnake. The very place where I met All time low and got a high five from Jack. Sigh. Good times.
I miss the ocean to be fair, lying on the beach, but then again, this type of vacation, culture, museums, art, shopping, big city vibe is more me anyways. Getting away from it all back home felt amazing and going back home into the drama and nightmare will be heartbreaking but whats gotta be done and all that…
Vienna you were gorgeous thank you for the memories, I love you so much, till next time.