I am so tired you guys so tired. Emotionally, mentally tired. Exhausted. Drained. It's been hard to write, it's been hard to draw, read, live, breathe. I haven't touched politics or corona much in this blog so I guess strap in kids I'm gonna do both in this blog. For a change. But few warnings, first me yapping on this blog is because I have nobody to really talk to, people have gone absolutely insane. Friendships broken over not agreeing, you know what they say ''friends come into your life for a reason or for a season'' and I think the current situations we are in, proved this so well…
Second thing, this is MY safe space. We all have a right to an opinion but I share mine here where everyone has the option to close and exit and doesn't have to read or listen to me.
And third thing I will make it so easy for you to hate me, I don't see the world like you do and I don't agree with the popular opinion of what we should think, do, support, believe…to make this short here's the deal, I don't believe corona is dangerous or anything above the common cold, I think you should shove your poison vaccines up your ass and we do not stand with Ukraine in this household. I will explain further down but take this as a trigger warning and exit now. I do not plan on arguing with anyone, after two years of constant arguments and being cussed at I am done. This is my space. You don't like it, kindly fuck off. I believe the Germans call this kind of thinking ''Querdenker'' what a dumb fucking word to be honest. But here's your warning, don't read on, click the X in the corner and have a wonderful day. Thank you, the rest of you still here take a deep breath, this might get long, I'm severly pissed off at everything and everyone.
I don't even know where to begin. I honestly don't. Too much is happening. And the storm in my head is raging out of control as well. I find myself so tough to keep in check. Mentally I mean. I sometimes can't even breathe. I wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air. I wanna rip people outside that stick their noses into my business into shreds. I wanna sit down and fucking scream if it would help me any. I want to honestly just disappear. Life has been too much.
Let's start with fucking covid then. Dangerous, deadly sickness, everyone I know had it at this point (lets point out that they all including myself, got it from vaccinated people while wearing masks?), all over EU and at home, all ages from 8 to 80. Everyone got over it without a problem and without concequences, one of them has Marfan Syndrome (google it) and he barely noticed he had covid. On the other end vaccine caused a blod cloth which led to cardiac arrest for one of my closest friends, he was only 34 years old. I know of 11 more such cases. All under 45. All double vaccinated. Forced to do so, else they'd lose their jobs. I will not even touch the lying press, showing us crash test dummies in the ER and bannana boxes instead of coffins. Lies upon lies creating a perfect fishing in muddy waters situation. Each time you speak up, each time you point out their lies, what happens? You get blocked, deleted, destroyed. How am I supposed to see it as anything but a fucking lie? Lie to achieve obedience which they did. Like, I watch these people change their facebook profile pictures first into LGBT support, then BLM, then Lets get vaccinated and now Ukraine flags…and you're telling me you're thinking with your own fucking head? Fucking dummy you don't even realise how washed up you are.
I get so fucking agitated when these vaccinated idiots sit there, brain washed with their propaganda of course they won't admit they were fucked over, talking non sense. Masks work. Sure your asbestos builders masks and masks created for a sterile surgical environment work. And sure testing makes sense, with tests positive to fruit, and coke, and animals. Awesome. Very reliable. And vaccine is safe. Sure, it passed years of testing didn't it? Of fucking course. And it's for ''the greater good'' and you got your ''freedom'' with a passport. You know who else had a passport? Jews in Nazi Germany. Just saying. To be honest, I have been called so many names because I refused to get vaccinated. First of I don't believe in the danger of the virus, I don't believe I need a fucking vaccine and lastly I don't trust big pharma (google how much money near bankrupt Pfizer made and is expected to make this year). But that aside, two weeks ago I was a bio terrorist, irresponsible, filthy, dangerous, stupid, anti vaxxer, an idiot, uneducated, people literally (those that knew) walked far around me as if just being near me will put them in a grave. And now with election coming up our PM decided like you know what? Fuck covid, I'm over it, dropped all mandates and it's like nothing ever happened. And you know what? First of fucking finally but I am so fucking angry. Why did we all lose 2 fucking years of our lives, jobs, family, friends, life? What the fuck for? Why did culture suffer? Why was there no concerts? Why were small businesses destroyed? What the fuck for when clearly we can turn covid off with a fucking light switch?
A little more than a month ago at a protest, we were beaten by the police, maced, shot with water cannons, almost trampled by horses, for what? Fighting for freedom. Because I'm sorry but life with a passport to enter a fucking grocery store is not free. And today? Today! Fucking government encourages us to all protest tomorrow for Ukraine. Are you fucking kidding me?! I was beaten, maced, arrested several times for protesting against being forced to be an experiment, for protesting against being caged, locked up, treated like a contagious animal. But now suddenly protesting is encouraged? Because why? Because protests against covid are against the government because they were the ones deciding on covid mandates but a protest for Ukraine? That's something the government supports. Why? Because the whole world does. Because that's what you're supposed to do. Because that's the right thing to do or some shit like that right? Please someone file a missing person notice for fucking covid because it fucking disappeared from the headlines like nothing ever happened. Fucking hell. Congrats to Putin though because he managed in aweek what we all tried for two years, to fuck off covid for good. Or well at least till the situation in Ukraine clears.
Which brings us to why this household, my household does not ''stand with Ukraine'' let me start with all y'all posting stories, changing your facebook / IG pics, relentlessly tweeting about Ukraine….you all disgust me. Seriously for real disgust me. I'm sorry but how many of you talked about and changed your profile pics to flags of Yemen, of Iraq, of Syria, of Palestine…? How fucking many of you? Do you even know how they look like? Don't even try with the ''now it's not the time''. No, now is the perfect time. I am sick and tired of European racism. It's blatantly obvious that we just value Ukrainian lives more than we do Arabic. Why? Because they're white? Because they're the ''right religion''? What the fuck for? Aren't we all ''children of god''? Aren't we all equal? Aren't our lives all worth the same?
I am sick and fucking tired of US politics. I am sick and tired of the US and west imposing sanctions on Russia for what? Violating international laws by effectively taking parts of Ukraine…I mean…why the hell didn't they do the same for Israel? Weren't they taking parts of Palestine? Oh right…they are funded by the very powers that are making these sanctions now.
Fucking hypocricy…when Palestine and other people from the Global South suffer occupation or war nobody is fucking criticising world leaders and governments for continuously proving that brown and black lives just mean nothing to them. I could throw up. Let me point out how disgusted I am with Poland, they're awaiting Ukraine refugees with open arms with food and shelter. Are you fucking kidding me? It hasn't even been a year from when Poland had refugees freezing on the border, they were eating tree bark, they were dying, children were dying in the eyes of the world, and what did Poland do? Sent 15 000 soldiers at them, what did the world do? Turn away. Why? Because they're not white? Because they are not Christian? Fucking hypocrisy. But actually hypocrisy doesn't even cover this bullshit. I think psychosis is better, living in some fucked up parallel universe where Europeans who take up arms and defend their land, their country, their families are called resistance fighters and fucking heroes while Palestinians doing the same fucking thing are terrorists. What the actual fuck?!
Do you have any idea how many people die of famine in Yemen? How many people died in Syria so far? How many people died in Palestine? Is that okay? Is that normal? Why are we not condeming that? Why the fuck is our press not full of that? Why the fuck do we keep turning away? Like y'all seen fucked up Germany right? They call themselves pacifists yet they wanna spend 100 billion euros on military. What the actual fuck? I don't know what's wrong with their chancellor but something fucking is. Germans you know. Same Germans that called me violent for drinking beer, saying fuck and training martial arts, all that while protesting for peace. Hypocrisy to no end.
Speaking of hypocrisy and racism in Europe though, let me share some fucking quotes that really made me blow about seven gaskets not just one. Ukraine's deputy chief prosecutor David Sakvarelidze said for BBC ''It's very emotional for me because I see European people with blue eyes with blonde hair being killed.'' Oh my god are you fucking kidding me? Is that's how it's going to be now? I could throw up. By these standards I'd be killed off too, both my hair and eyes are dark. Looks like I just don't fit the European criteria no more.
Charlie D'Agata said for CBS news ''this isn't Iraq or Afghanistan….this is a relatively civilized, relatively European city''. Oh my fucking god I could scream. Are we really going to be like that? So because it's Iraq or Afghanistan it's okay? We're just normalising that people are dying and suffering? They're disposable or what? Fucking racists. Same thing btw from BFM TV some French bullshit saying ''we are in the 21st century, we are in a European city and we have cruise missile fire as though we were in Iraq or Afghanistan, can you imagine?!'' acually no, I can't. I can't imagine how you can even say something so blatantly stupid. Same station said ''It's an important question. We're not talking here about Syrians fleeing…we're talking about Europeans''. This fuels me with the rage of a thousand suns.
Daniel Hannan for the Daily Telegraph UK, I mean I hope he was fired because this is too fucking stupid to even comment, he said ''this time, war is wrong because the people look like us and have Instagram and Netflix accounts. It's not in a poor, remote country any more''. Can you even process this? Can you?
Let's look at the Balkans real quick, since I am from the Balkans after all. What happened when in 1999 Serbia was attacked? Today whole fucking EU is fucking crying over a war happening 2000 km away from us. Crying over soldiers, brave soldiers dying on snake island who in a surprise plot twist didn't really tell the Russians to fuck off and are still alive, how fascinating aint it? Whole fucking EU pathetically dramatising over Ukraine but where were they when Serbia was attacked? NATO planes with their deathly loads flying over our country, people were cheering, people were clapping, us and the rest of EU. They were clapping, they were cheering. When US attacked the building RTS in Serbia and civilians and reporters died nobody cared. Nobody spared them a second thought.
Don't fucking hate me or blame me because I'm giving you a mirror you're seeing yourself in. If you fon't like the reflection do something about it. You supported the killings of innocent people in Serbia in 1999 just like you're justifying killing of innocent people in so called third world countries now. Why? Because they're not like you? Because in Serbia's case of Milosevic? Why? Is that your excuse? Does that make you sleep easy at night and your soul rest in peace? Do you really think this is a coincident? What you think that poor Ukraine people are suffering in Donbas and Lugansk? Do you have any idea what's reallybeen happening there for the past 8 years? Where were the sanctions when bombs were falling on Russian people living in Donbas? Where was the judgment when for the past few weeks Kiev was hoarding forces for their version of ''Oluja'' (google it). Where the fuck was the international wisdom to stop the expansion of NATO on Russian border? I'll tell you where, in the west of Ukraine training neonazis and supplying them with weaponry. Anyone has any idea how many of them there is there? Anyone has any idea what EU supplying them with unlimited fire power means? Just asking…nobody worried about that?
You know the only thing that would really be needed here is neutrality of Ukraine and the implementation of the Minsk agreement on the autonomy of Donbas. That's it. Normal. Rational. Reasonable. But no. Fuck no. Because it has never been about Ukraine was it? NATO wants to crawl all over Russia at all costs. They don't care about lives, they don't care about anything else. If they'd want peace they'd fucking have it. Long ago. But they don't. That's why all we listen to are condemnations but not one single serious initiave for the Russian army to whitdraw in exhange for what was agreed upon a long fucking time ago for NATO to fuck off of the Russian border. To respect the Minsk agreement. This did not happen over night. Don't fool yourselves into thinking it did and don't fool yourselves into thinking only one side, one person is to blame.
This is a very clearly visible context which of course the press won't tell you about, what does the press tell you about anyways? Covid covid covid, nuclear bomb, you're all going to die, blah blah blah. Nor will you hear about this in any diplomatic statements. There's a special term for doing so in the last decade and mostly in the last two years and days ''manufacturing consent''. Creating a civil consensus for the conflict with Russia. From politics to diplomacy, from the media to the parliament.
Let's be brutaly honest for a moment, stopping the NATO expansion to the east and the implementation of Minsk agreement would mean that the Russian army would never enter Ukraine or if they did they'd leave on their own. Fast. It's not complicated at all and it never was, it takes really little to achieve peace. But let's not talk about this too much, we must like the good brainwashed sheep, bricks in the wall, pieces of a puzzle only talk about evil Russia which is supposed to force and justify the conflict. Propaganda. And we're where we're supposed to be. On the brink of war in Europe. And who's to blame? No not Russia but NATO. Please dear members of this pact, especially the leading members, have the fucking balls to take care of the mess you created, help the people that need help and help the country get back on it's fucking feet when this is over.
I am tired of the lies, of the propaganda, of the stupid people who turn on the tv and everything on it is the sacred truth. When did the world stoop so low that lying press is just okay? Are we all collectively insane? Press should be a source to trust not a source to doubt. Madness. Utter madness.
To wrap this whole rant, it's not that I'm okay with war in Ukraine of course I'm not, but I am not standing with them, and I don't support all these calls for help and sharing of stories and sharing of posts when we so blatantly turn away from suffering in other places, when we just normalised it and shrug it of like it's nothing. That's why I find this immoral and disgusting, you either stand with everyone or nobody. All that aside, I hope you're paying attention while this Russian Ukraine conflict keeps your attention on it, make sure you're aware other things are still happening behind your backs and there's a very tough landing on your ass happening once this is all over. For us it's election that we have next month, and the promise of another covid wave coming in the fall. Amazing virus, reapears and dissapears when it's convenient for our government…for other countries it might be something else. But don't for a second think that things are as black and white as people have you believe. Always doubt. Always question. And always pay attention to the details. You know what they say, the devil is in the details.
