You know I started and deleted this post ten times by now? Writing has become somewhat of a challenge lately. Maybe my scrambled mind just doesn't allow me to put things ''on paper'' no more. I don't know. Maybe it's the lack of motivation, what's the point in writing, when all you're really doing is just screaming at the skies? It's not like people are listening. It's not like people care. Maybe it's just that promise I made myself more than anyone, back in 2015 when I closed my old blog and opened up this one, that it's going to be a safe and positive space. I mean it is safe, but lets face it, it sure as fuck aint positive. I was going to share my art, love for music, photography, travel...I can't explain when did that go sideways, sometimes I just feel like all happiness has left the planet. You know that line in that book?
''Hollowness: that I understand. I’m starting to believe that there isn’t anything you can do to fix it. That’s what I’ve taken from the therapy sessions: the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.''
— Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train
Maybe, I'm also starting to realise that some holes will just never disappear. Maybe I've realised I'm broken and some things just can not be mended. Maybe that explains the empty, hollow, numbness that never really goes away. Or maybe, just maybe the issue is not me at all. Maybe it's the world, the world that I fail to understand, much less the people in it. Much less the world leaders that I never wanted, never voted and have all lost every bit of sanity, assuming they ever possesed any.
You know what this is about right? I tried hard to keep the topic off my blog and rather on twitter and tumblr but I can't keep quiet no more, I'm still shouting at the void but getting things off my chest might at least make me feel better. This is a post about the war. Between Israel and Palestine, so firstly if the topic makes you uncomfortable, please remove yourself, and secondly, can I just start with how badly it irritates me that we're calling this a ''war''? How is this a war when you got one of the worlds strongest armies against people, mostly children, with rocks? How is this war? This my dear friends is nothing BUT genocide. I don't even know where to begin my outrage, my anger, my disgust towards the western world, which is watching, supporting the agressor, clapping on when bombs are dropped on children...I don't even know how do you put this in words? How?
I'd love to ask the western people why they're so unbothered by the deaths of people with darker skin, different religion, different culture. But lets face it, we all know why, we all know what was meant when reporters in Ukraine were saying ''this doesn't happen to PEOPLE LIKE US''. We know why the media portrays the Middle east as war torn, conficted area, ''underdeveloped'' and it's people as thieves and terrorists. We all know why right? We knew that when US felt the need to invade Lebanon and Iraq based on some bogus accusations and kill its people in the name of ''preservation'' or whateve else bullshit was the reason. In the eyes of the West, war and death are not only reserved for a specific type of people but also expected. How does that not make you sick to your stomach?
How can you sit there and listen to ''this is a war against terrorists'' no. This is Israel propaganda. They want you to believe that in the 75 years of their relentless torment on the citizens of Palestine, the only people killed were Hamas. NO. All they're doing is desperately trying to dehumanize them. Dehumanize people that are just like you and me, people with dreams, goals, love and life. The people. The INNOCENT people of Palestine out of which more than half are children.
How did the world just together decided that Putin is a war criminal, put sanction upon sanction on Russia (we see how effective that is right?) but nobody, NOBODY is doing the same for Netanyahu and Israel? How is this real world? How do I live in this world? The man is bombing hospitals, schools, refugee centers, refugee convoys, he is commiting genocide in the eyes of the world in the name of ''clearing the world of terrorism''. He's throwing white phosphorus bombs, which alone is unlawful. How are we turning a blind eye? How are we just looking away? What the fuck is the matter with us?
Are you aware that Palestinian workers released from Isreali detention wore anklets with numbers assigned to them? Not names. Numbers. Does that sound familiar? I don't even know how to unpack this, I don't even know how to comment, what to say. I guess they really took a page out of history books...
Do you understand the type of world you live in? The world in which politicians will say ''the killing of civilians is never acceptable and that is why we stand with Israel while it drops apartment buildings on people''. The type of world in which babies are not issued birth certificates but they're issued death certificates. How are you not seething with anger? How can you scroll twitter, watch parting words from students, reporters, talking about how they wanna be remembered should they die, how are you just moving on with your lives? How are you blind? How are you not angry with the billions being thrown into Ukraine, while we're letting the people of Palestine starve and die? How are you not angry that there was an international search of the entire god damn ocean, for five dumb rich fucks on that Titanic sub, but the 2 million people in Gaza get 20 trucks, and ignored pleas for a ceasefire?
How can you sit there and tell me that this is alright because ''hostages'', because ''Hamas'', because when they bomb the hospital they're only doing it because of the ''terrorists'' hiding underground. Tell me, if there's an active school shooter hiding somewhere in the school? Is it okay to bomb the school then? Just asking. For a friend. Do you understand there are videos out there, with people holding dead children, pleading for the end of the genocide? Do you understand mothers in Gaza instead of kissing their children good night have to write their names on their arms and legs, in case they get bombed in the middle od the night?
How are people blind? How are they screaming that every Muslim is a terrorist because that's what they heard on the tv? Are you aware that no religion, absolutely none would support murder and genocide? I have Muslim friends and family friends and neighbors, and you know what? They're the nicest people I know, they'll be the first to be your friend, the first to offer you help should you need it. They're the ones that listen and care and actually say hello to you when they meet you outside. Seems like basic manners right? Well they're too much to ask from from my non Muslim neighbors who judge, ignore, gossip, glare and cause trouble out of what seems to be pure boredom. The next time you hear Muslim religion is violent or the religion of terrorism, I want you to think about Motaz Azaiza he is a Palestinian journalist, who likes to cradle and console babies in between helping people pull their family members out of the rubble. Just a few days ago I read that on the way to reporting one of the latest war crimes, he discovered 15 of his family members were killed. By the way, he's got 13 million people following him on Instagram, why is he not an influencer? Why is the world consuming bullshit like the Kardashians and Taylor Swift (the fuck is up with her lately? The phenomena? I don't get it at all) but he's ignored?
Next time someone tries to talk shit about Muslim men, I want you to think about the men dressed as Mickey Mouse walking around Gaza and trying their damn hardest to put smiles on childrens faces. I want you to think for a moment how doctors and nurses were praised, deemed as heroes during Covid, they were doing flash mobs, people all but worshiped them, where's the praise for Palestinian doctors and nurses? The true heros who preform surgeries and other medical procedures 24/7, with limited supplies and possibly in the dark, and yet still take the time to comfort their patients and try to console them through the disasters and losses they're going through. Who's the real hero here?
It is so easy to turn a blind eye to genocide when you dehumanize people, when you decide they're this or they're that. It's so easy when you see part of the world as uncultured, and as savages and terrorists while the other side deserves the all the ''glory''.
I just I have no words. None left. No thoughts. No...All I can tell you is fuck your western double standards, fuck your support for Israel and just generally fuck you. That's that.
