Be Merry, stay Scary.

I know, I know. Your annual ''how I hate Christmas'' blog is missing. I'd like to say I'm older and wiser now, or that I changed my mind and started celebrating it, but lets be serious we all know that's not the case. What's different this year is that maybe I've done some soul searching or looking into myself, or that deep dark pit that's supposed to be my soul (tbh it's M.I.A.) and realised some things. 

First one being I still despise Christmas movies and music with a burning passion, they're tacky, overly joyful and just tastless. That aint ever going to change. If I hear that god awful disgusting whatever it is song (you know the one? Mariah Carey sings it?) again I might actually massacre half this town. ''All I want for Christmas''? Is for you to shut up. Second thing is that people just go into a frenzy. Like literally people are insane, with their mass buying and forced smiles, and fake ''oh I love my family so much'' bullshit, arguing over parking spaces and last article of god knows what in stores…yeah I can't stand that. Don't mind me just on an urgent tampon run but it feels like I have to battle 7 levels of inferno first before I get them. 

I hate hate HATE the consumers market revolving around a family. The Christian type family that is. Mom, dad, kids. I have nothing against it btw, but I have a whole lot against it being forced down our throats like that. News flash, a lot of kids don't have what you call a ''normal family'' (what even is normal anyway), a lot of us don't have a functioning family at all, and honestly? It's painful watching all this. It really is. Don't you think all kids want that? Don't you think I want that? I hate the marketing of a million products we have to buy in order to be happy. Sigh. A lot of people can't afford the bare needs no more so guess what Santa is skipping their kids this  Christmas. How do you think they feel? I honestly hate that. 

But I think the biggest thing for me might be a form of PTSD. There hasn't been one. Just fucking ONE December without arguing in my house. I haven't had one nice holiday since I was like eight yearsold celebrating it somewhere up in the mountains. But really, it's always the same. I dread December because for me it's filled with screaming, pointless arguments, slamming doors and silent mass. And it's hell. I would honestly enjoy some tacky lights, and poorly wrapped presents and pumpkin spice everything and just for a few hours forgetting the world outside and just having a nice quiet family meal. It seems to me we can't even do that no more. Everything turns into an argument. Either political, religious or just completely idiotic as in why are your car keys on the counter and not in the hallway. As if it freaking matters. It's my problem when I can't find them aint it? 

I didn't mean the fake smiles and fake happiness and just forcing to get through it with a bottle of wine and stupid jokes type family events which I have been suffering through in the past and only recently realised the full aspect of how fake they actually were. I meant…I don't even know really, y'all watched Supernatural? In season 3 there's a ''a very Supernatural Christmas'' episode. The brothers are somewhere on the road alone, and they make do with like a branch with car fresheners instead of ornaments and silly gas station gifts, but it's not that that matters but them, celebrating, because they are family and each other is all they really need? Kinda like that. Or maybe like when I was actually little like five and up and my dad and I did a nativity scene with dinosaurs that ate baby Jesus. Well might be a bit disrespectful now that I think about it but it's still a fond memory. And we actually made food together, and ate together and watched Die Hard which is still the best Christmas movie out there. Do not fight me on this. 

Maybe I wasn't as bitter if I didn't lose everyone I cared most about in December, if I didn't argue with my family non stop, if I didn't get lawsuits from the rest of my family and the bank a day before the holiday start, if I felt like there is something to celebrate after all. Maybe if the forced happiness wouldn't make me gag and if people around me were nicer even if just playing nice. Idk. Maybe that would change things. But until it does I'll sit here with a bottle of wine because aint nothing that dulls the pain like Rose, and here's to hoping that a concert I really wanted to see tonight happens. If not it will the fourth in the row this month to be cancelled. Ah 2022 the gift that never stops giving aye.

But my bitterness aside I wish you guys a very Merry Christmas, to all you celebrate, I hope you have a great time, with your families whatever type of family it is, with your kids, partners, cats, plants. Whatever floats your boat. And to the rest of you who don't celebrate, I hope you find the strength to get through it, lord knows it aint easy, and if you want just a tiny sprinkle of holidays in your life, may I suggest a cute book to read?

Cheers, may the booze flow slow and the time pass fast. 

Summertime sadness.

Kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness. I just wanted you to know that baby you're the best, I got my red dress on tonight, dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight, got my hair up real big beauty queen style. High heels off, I'm feeling alive, oh, my God, I feel it in the air, telephone wires above, all sizzling like a snare. Honey I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere, nothing scares me anymore...

I'm feelin' electric tonight, cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99, got my bad baby by my heavenly side. I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight. Oh, my God, I feel it in the air, telephone wires above all sizzlin' like your stare. Honey I'm on fire I feel it everywhere, nothing scares me anymore. Kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness, I just wanted you to know, that baby you're the best. I've got that summertime, summertime sadness, summertime, summertime sadness.

“I love you, I think, and you are my home.”

I've been staring out my window for a good hour now. Just watching the trees. Isn't it funny when fall arrives, they change color and start falling, first one, then two, then a few more and then suddenly they go all together and there's nothing to the tree but the bare ''skeleton''. Long empty branches reminding you of what once was. Ever considered us humans are just like that? People, things, events, trauma, chipping away at us till there's nothing left? Yeah every spring trees get green again, new life, new start…I suppose for us that start is a bit harder to achieve. I never liked the fall, it's the whole dead, cold, dark, wet, gloomy part that follows that I despise, the part I wish I could skip alltogether. 

Which is why there hasn't yet been the post with the summer get away. First off missing the warm summer sun and the beach is one thing, and having no energy to actually edit pictures is another. I have no idea when did photography turn into a chore for me. Just like Inktober. I have no idea when it stopped being fun and it's only my stubborness that made me see things through. And the third reason is that obviously my photos contain pictures of me. Go figure. You know this year is the first year that I actually took a lot of pictures at the beach? I actually felt confident and good about myself so I took tons of pictures in bikinis. I don't usually do that, because well easier to hide behind the lens,  and secondly I don't want that kind of attention. 

I find it so upsetting how many people that haven't talked to me in YEARS reached out to me after posting just one picture on Instagram. By people I mean men. Why do women put up with men? Because when I complain and my best friend says ''oh you know Nikki not all men…'' she's right. Henry Cavill would never. But really, and this is a question for my guy readers. You think being sleazy will make us magically drop our panties? You think gross comments will make us swoon? You think I appreciate it when you tell me my art is fine but you rather look at me? I'm offended not flattered. This is not a ''in a room full or art I'd still stare at you'' type thing, all you made me feel is like a shitty artist or just not good enough or just…how is a friend a friend if they can't support your work but stalk your private profile? Like I can't…this is a when you wear something with a cleavage and men stare down your shirt instead of into your eyes when you talk type thing.

You think cheap pick up lines are a way to a womans heart? You think any of these tricks actually work? Deep sigh. I am once again considering of removing the ''private instagram''. I know it's stupid. I know I should be able to post what I want and just block / ignore the assholes but when it's 10 assholes a day and once nice person every few months it just gets exhausting you know. I get so pissed off when every now and then there's someone on my ''business profile'' and all they do is like ALL of the stories in the ''my face'' category but don't even look at anything else. It makes me roll my eyes all the way into my skull. Serious question, what happens if I proclaim I'm a lesbian on all profiles? Will these creeps fuck off then? No disrespect to my LGBTQ comunity, you guys know I love you, I'm just wondering, will this send a message to sleazy men that I am NOT interested? Sigh…

In connection to that you get a book review today. Because there are three things I am positive about. First , Edward was a vampire. Lol, kidding. Not that book. Three things I am positive about, there are too little strong female main characters in books, there are too little women in STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) in books and no matter how many friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers books you give me, I will read all of them. What can I tell you I'm a sucker for happy endings. Here's the deal, my heart will always belong to fantasy worlds of Lord of the rings and anything like the Witcher ( whyyyy Henry why?! I mean I know why and my respect for you really grew even more but seriously just why?! You don't expect me to watch Hemsworth in leather and swoon do you? Gross. ) but sometimes I just need a cutsey romance to get through the day – week – month. 

Ok so I'll do a ''Love on the brain'' review first because everyone reads Ali's ''Love Hypothesis'' first (so did I) and then bitches about ''LOTB'' (I'm not going to). Here's the deal, yes there are simmilar stories but if you're not a complete idiot you'll figure that out by reading the summary on the back and go figure you can chose just not reading a book instead of bitching about it? I know right, wild idea. 

First of, Ali bestie I love you. Thank you for the love for women in STEM and for highlighting the issues they face. I can't believe that in the lords year of 2022 we still have to fight for equality. Sigh. God forbid huh a woman scientist. Or worse a woman scientist better than her male colleagues, the world might spontaneously combust just at the thought of that. 

Secondly I will never believe anything but, that men written by women just don't exist. Seriously. They don't. Men in books written by women are the sole reason we sit alone with our cats in matching onesies, watching tv shows about serial killers (or as I like to call them instruction manuals). You don't actually expect me to read about Levi Ward, Adam Carlsen and Aaron Blackford and be normal about it do you? 

Here's the deal, ''Love on the brain'' is more relatable to me. No, I'm not as smart as Bee (I wish I was) but the setting in NASA and her general appearance with piercings, tattoos and purple hair that's closer to me than anything. (Dying my hair back to purple next week. So excited!). 

So a short summary in case you're unfamiliar with the story;

''Bee Konigswasser lives by a simple code: What would Marie Curie do? If NASA offered her the lead on a neuroengineering project – a literal dream come true – Marie would accept without hesitation. Duh. But the mother of modern phsyics never had to co – lead with Levi Ward. 

Sure, Levi is attractive in a tall, dark, and piercing eyes kind of way. But Levi made his feelings toward Bee very clear in grad school – archenemies work best employed in their own galaxies far, far away. 

But when her equipment starts to go missing and the staff ignore her, Bee could swear she sees Levi softening into an ally, backing her plays, seconding her ideas…devouring her with those eyes. The possibilities have all her neurons firing. 

But when it comes time to actually make a move and put her heart on the line, there's only one question that matters: What will Bee Konigswasser do?''

Before I start with the review WHICH WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS SO BEWARE, can I just say it's hard to focus with helicopers and tanks roaring around? Always fun living next door to the biggest military base. Just waiting for that moment in the day when fighters swoop in and do a couple laps in our skies. Shut up those I love so much. The sound alone gets me all excited, nevermind the barrel rolls they're doing above my house. Lol. And I especially enjoy my dumb neighbors (haven't complained about them in a while huh?) bitching about the noise, the ''danger'' and so on and so on. Scared of a teeny tiny practice fighter. Wonder what they'd do if F-18s of fifth gen flew over our heads. Which reminds me of my time in Tuscany right next to their air force base I think it's ''Rosignano'' beause Aviano is way higher up, I flipped with happiness because they actually had stealth fighter jets that took off without a sound from an underground hangar. Insane! Pretty sure they were Boeings F15 silent eagles. Shut up I love fighter jets. 

I'm so off topic right now, lets get back to the book. So spoilers ahead be warned and don't come bitching at me that I ruined the book for you later. Also a question, I got a suggestion to add links below where to buy? Is that something you'd be interested in? 

I keep letting other people opinions influence me so I went into this book a tiny bit sceptic. I don't know why because if there's one thing I learned it's that I HATE everything popular (Collen Hoover) and LOVE everything other people hate. Funny isn't it? If people in general don't like it then I'm bound to love it. So it was the same with this one. I read so many negative reviews only to love the book myself in the end. Read it in one afternoon. Already excited about Ali's third book coming out next year but more on that another time.  Love on the brain in my opinion is the perfect amount of drama, romance and comedy.

Imagine after some devastating career blows you get an offer from NASA. Yes THE NASA. Here I am my brain melting though I'll never get the chance. Sadly. Maybe if they ever need an assistant to make scientists coffee or something like that. Hah. So imagine Bee gets an offer from NASA she's over the moon about it OF COURSE and then the other shoe drops. It's always that way. Always. Nothing good ever happens without something else going wrong. It's like tipping the scales, you can never have light without dark type thing. So accepting the NASA gig means Bee is working with Levi, her arch enemy. He constant rival. Her nemesis. Now she knows he hates her (not at all) and she doesn't want to see him again let alone work with him. But to get away from her job and terrible boss she needs this project to work out. So whatcha gonna do? Bite the bullet aye?

Listen I love Bee she's adorable, she's badass, she's smart, and sometimes just such a bimbo like how did you not realise that boy is head over heels for you girl? I love her style, I love her purple hair (vegan yay!) I love her humor and I hate how she's underestimated and pushed to the side too much and assaulted, but that's how it is for women in STEM no? I love her fangirling over Marie Curie and how she made a twitter account to connect a whole community, that was such a fun addition to the story and go figure now we all know a bit more about Marie which I can only call a bonus. 

Now the sciency part of the book? Sounds great but I have no idea what they're really doing. Stimulating parts of astronaut brain to help control emotional response? Something like that? I think. It was interesting to read even if a bit confusing at times. And I seriously hope NASA would not care about her purple hair. I like to believe what's inside that head that matters not on it.

AND now we get to the absolute cinnamon roll, sunshine, adorable baby that is Levi Ward. We start off with this cold, shut off Levi, he's silent, he's moody and broody, he's avoiding Bee, he seems rude to her, but that's just because he's an idiot and doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and actually talk. If they just talked to eachother and cleared misunderstandings would be so great. Why are people like this really? I know laying your cards on the table is scary but if we did it more often…life could be hella easier. Says the girl that has never been honest about her feelings in her life. The whole dynamic between him and Bee besides avoiding of course lol is so cute. He respects her, listens to her, and just is there for her you know. Call me late at night from a cemetery and I'm there in ten minutes type thing. And I'll make you dinner and give you itch relief cream…sigh. AND to make matters worse you guys, he's a cat dad. I can't. Seriously men written by women do NOT exist. 

There's this long post…LONG post. A confession, Levi tells Bee how he feels about her, not knowing he's telling it to her. Confusing I know. Read the damn book. But seriously that confession has got to be one of the cutest things I've read. Here's to sitting on the couch with your cat and wine daydreaming about what's it like to have that perfect match. It's kinda funny really how Levi has been in love and pining over Bee for years and she misread it as hate. I mean they do say that there's a fine line between love and hate but still. Funny. I actually loved all the frustrating moments where he almost told her why he doesn't hate her but was always somehow interrupted. Frustratingly funny. 

Listen to me. Bee has an assistent called Rocio. And I am in love. For real. Goth girl. Drama queen. Boots. Heavy makeup. Jet black hair. Rebel. That whole ''we're all going to die'' dark depressing vibe? Cmon you guys she's basically me. Of course I love her. Bee also has a sister who is everything I wish I was. Free spirited, today in Paris, tomorrow Norway, next week god knows. Let's pretend I'm brave enough for such a lifestyle. And oh my god I just had a random enlightenment (is that how this word is spelled?). You know that ''You've got mail'' is one of my favourite movies? I don't actually have a copy because movies on DVDs are so hard to get here, so usually they run it on tv each year in like November or December and I'm glued to the screen. I know it by heart by now but I love it still. Anyways, no wonder I love this book, it has some major You've got mail vibes. 

Oh you guys there's quite some NSFW parts in here…*wiggles eyebrows* just saying. It gets pretty steamy. Now to wrap this up, let me just say I love how Bee has each country she lived in tattooed on her back, each one representing home, and I love how the line of tattoos ends with the outline of the house she lives in with Levi because in the end that is home. Fuck. So sweet. Don't you just love a happy ending? I do. Maybe because in real life they just don't exist no more. Let at least my books be happy. Or it's the way my ex told me that I'm obsessed with finding love because I can't love myself. Sounds rude, but he's actually right. So, for the actual ending (can y'all believe I'm writing again? Must be a miracle on it's own) enjoy this tiny doodle of Bee and Levi plus bonus Schrodinger who makes me wonder will I ever learn to draw cats? Sigh. I love how this one came out though, for a doodle it's better than my usual work *cough* inktober *cough*. And yes I do have NASA sheets. Shut up. 

E forse il mare è dentro di lei.

Do you ever get this feeling of absolute calm, while watching the ocean? The feeling of elation or joy when the sea foam tickles your skin? The feeling of being refreshed when that first splash of cold water hits your heated body? How about that feeling when you dive underwater and there's nothing but silence and peace around you, and you watch the sunlight break on the waves from under the water line and shimmer all around you? How about the feeling of a wave hitting your legs and then pulling back from under your feet, while your toes dig deeper into to the sand? Do you ever yearn for the ocean? Yearn for the healing powers only the ocean has? The power to heal, refresh, recharge, restart...The way only an ocean splashing against the shore can heal your soul. The way only the calm waters can soothe your anxiety, the feeling of being lost, the feeling of being upset...the feeling of your worries being carried away on a wave. Are you ever fascinated when the ocean gets a little too wild, at it's raw power? Do you ever take a moment to marvel and respect mother nature? Do you ever stand in wonder at all the amazment and unknowns of the deeper waters? Of the amazing sea life? Do you feel the water revive you when you jump in and just float on the salty waves? Are you ever fascinated by the myths, the pirates, the mermaids, the unknown sea creatures that may or may not exist?

Have you ever just laid on the deck of a sailing ship, docked in a remote bay, gentle waves rocking it just a tiny bit and nothing but the starry sky above you? No light pollution, no industry, just the night sky, the entire Milky Way above your head...have you ever shared it with someone, watching the stars reflect perfectly in their eyes? Have you ever just sat in the car and drove South. Out of the city. On the roads that wove in and out of the forest, surrounded by trees and then suddenly you catch a glimpse of the ocean. Vast, neverending, blue, breathtaking. Are you longing for the sea but you're afraid of the water? Well maybe the power of the sea is inside you. 

Enjoy these sunsety pictures, all taken with my old Panasonic set on ''sunset'' mode, unedited because I'm lazy and because well some things just don't need no filters. More photos from a brief seaside get away to follow so stay tuned...for now just this much because it's raining outside and I'm missing the warmth, the summer, the ocean like crazy today....

P.S. How about that ''ufo'' in the last two pictures?

Honky tonk woman in Paradise city.

I've been working on this insanely long post for over a week. Might be the heat, might be my brain malfunctioning, might be the sheer length of it all. Whatever it is…I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. Assuming there are any concerts in my future. It's looking really bleak to be fair. 

Oh I've seen the new Thor ''love and thunder'' movie yesterday, this is important only because, first people are hating on it and for no fucking reason, it's funny, fun, fluffy and really adorable. And secondly, wnb rockstar Thor? Fuck yes, I'm thirsty for it all day long. And the most important part, all the love for GN'R in this movie? YES! HELL YES! Show them boys all the love they deserve. 

Now lets get back to business, I apologise in advance for this post. It's probably going to get ridiculously long. I have not one concert write up but two. And they're both music legends. And I have so much to bitch about. Sigh. Go grab a snack before you sit down and get into this post. 

Where should we start then? This was a fun ride, went to Austria Wednesday morning, went back home after the show. It's Thursday 3:30 am when I finally made it home, without actually removing tons of makeup and shower I fall into bed barely unlacing my boots. I know. But isn't this kinda tired the best kinda tired? Cue in my family screaming to change my ''filthy'' bed sheets. Lol. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep only to get up early on Friday morning and back to Austria. Am I an idiot that should just stay in Vienna and return back home on the weekend? Yes. Would hotel prices and gas prices actually kill me though? Yes. Did you know water on the stadium costs 7 euros? Also yes. Am I high on crack cocaine here? I don't know did someone whack me on the head, or was it heat stroke but 7 euro water is just over the top. It's just freakin water. Back home you can drink it out of every tap and every fountain. Like I get it drought and all but are you fucking kidding me?!

So lets start with Wednesday night first then. Obviously. The one and only Guns n' Roses. Should we first adress how seeing like 60 000 (roughly)  people in a stadium with no masks or distance (except a couple nutjobs with literal builders masks and plastic gloves on, how bout calling Nasa for a space suit instead, dickhead.) really made my brain explode? It was a sight I never imagined to see again. Ever. And the heat you guys?! Vienna is stupid hot no joke. What's going on in this end of Europe lately? There's no practical use to be 33 C at 7pm. The fuck is that all about? Am I supposed to smell worse than the band? I imagined open air stadium show can't be worse than the small venue the other day…would you look at that, tiny shorts on and I feel like I'm melting. Ironically I should be melting under Axe's intense gaze (jesus his eyes are very green) or possibly under Duff or Slash but it's just the sun causing heat strokes. Listen I'm a simple woman not much changed here, still got the hots for the pretty blonde and the best guitarist on this planet. No arguments, no opinions accepted here. He is the best gutarist on this planet. That's it. End of story.  Goodbye and have a nice day. 

Another thing. What the fuck is with starting the show at like 7:15? I mean…uhm? What?! And pretty much punctual too? Is this even still Guns n' roses? Is this Axl Rose? What the hell. I managed to miss out on one of the openers ''Dirty Honey'' which really pisses me off because they're pretty badass. I have no idea when they played tbh. Got to the stadium at like 17:30 or so and it was just time for Gary Clark Jr. Who btw is absolutely amazing. This blues, soul, RNB type music? SO good! We need more of such musicians and less bullshit. 

Now I can't start the post without a couple remarks. You know me. Always have to complain. First one is that I saw GN'R first time on 10.7.2017, I googled it I don't know the dates by heart lol. Especially not lately when the whole concept of time is completely fucked up. Why is it important when I saw them first? Because all I wanted then was ''Don't cry'' that and November rain are my absolute favourite songs. By them that is. Though and I don't like picking favourite amongst my children, those of you who know me will know that November rain and Bon Jovi's Always are actually my all time favourite songs. Anyways in 2017 there was a god damn hurricane in Vienna and it's been raining a bit on and off during the concert. I gotta say watching November rain with actual rain and lightning over the stadium? Mindblowing. But due to rain they cut like three or four songs, everyone was afraid Axl getting hurt on the wet stage. I'd not even be surprised tbh, the mad man is running up and down that stage like something or someone is chasing him. Wasn't me. I was very good up on the seating area. Though…might be motivated to start running if it's him I'm chasing. Hah. 

Shit I keep getting carried away. The songs that were cut then? You guessed it one of them was Don't cry. And I was just…devastated. And then when this tour was announced. It was announced on the 9.6.2019 and cancelled twice…sigh…I was so excited I'll finally get to hear my song! It was played basically on all EU dates and guess fucking what? They didn't play it on Wednesday night. Cue in heartbreak station. I can't even. Stab me in the heart it will hurt less. Don't cry? More like sob the entire way home. Fuck. So I guess third time is a charm? I'm not optimistic but rather grateful for every concert I get to see, it can be the last time seeing them, but if it isn't…then I guess third time is a charm. And if even then it doesn't happen then I give up. On life and love too not just the song. Lol. 

So the music. Everyone is talking about Axes voice. Yes it's changed. But honestly I will not listen to any disrespect here. Ax gives his 110% on that stage, he pushes through for the fans, the fans should be fucking grateful and lick his fucking boots to even get a show. I don't understand the negativity. You can't go to a show and expect to see Ax from 30 years ago. And why WHY on earth do people feel the need to look up concert videos, and photos and talk shit about the band? Do you see me do that on profiles with questionable music taste? No, because I have a thing called a life. And better things to do. Seriously go outside. Grab a beer. Live a little. Stop spreading negativity, spread love instead. 

So Ax sings different? So what? If you want 100% polished voice stay the fuck at home and listen to a fucking vinyl. Live music is supposed to be rougher. It's supposed to not be completely perfect. There are supposed to be mistakes, missed notes, missed chord, missed lyrics. They're musicians not robots. As far as this tour goes Ax had real bad issues with his voice, we really should be grateful he showed up. He doesn't have the luxury to go home and recover for a month like the rest of us do. We all have expectations and we're pissed and disappointed when shows don't happen, we treat them like objects, well fuck, stop, think, they're just human and they deserve better. Have you ever asked yourself what all this bullshit is doing to his mental health? British press reported extensively about his very bad anxiety attacks. He doesn't feel like he's good enough. And who's to blame? The ''fans''. I get so angry. He deserves better. All I wanna do is give him a big hug and shoot all the bitches talking shit about him. And yes, I'm taking this very personal, because it is. So if you wanna bitch and complain, this is a fair warning, if you value your life, you'll keep your dumbass opinions to yourself. 

Now can we finally get to the show or am I going to get pissed the fuck off again? I probably will but lets try anyways.  First off, it's not about Ax at all it's about the speakers. It's about the sound. They had been battling massive sound issues this whole tour. I heard people left the stadium in London because it was unbearable. Ax did adress the issue but as far as I'm concerned it was not completely resolved. I don't know exactly what's been going on but it was heard in Vienna too. The start of the show was pretty scratchy but it got better as time went on. Mixing sound issues with throat issues of course you can't get what you hear on the radio what the fuck? Even Duff didn't sound perfect on this sound. People in the fan pit told me it was too quiet, while up in the seating area it was too loud. Resolving that would be much better than bitching at Ax as if everything is his fault. Or OR bitching at me that Slash isn't the best guitarist on the planet. Listen bud opinions are different but if you're going to come be smart on my profile then at least give me a living better guitarist as Slash. We all know that Hendrix was a king but he's been dead for fifty fucking years so I don't give a shit how much better you think he is than Slash. Fuck off.  And as far as I'm concerned the actual best one on place one has been Brian May for quite some time. 

Show starts with this intro movie. Interesting little clip. Maybe a bit…dark? Lol we all know the world is going to hell in a hand basket boys, no need to point it out like that. And the first song ''It's so easy''. Which actually I think was the first song in 2017 as well. What really is easy these days? Given that I just spent an hour venting and ranting…nothing really is easy huh? I am biased and over protective yes, the thing is this is my favourite band, it's music I listened to all my life due to my parents, it's music that all my best memories are tied to, it's music my friends will tell you never ask me about because I can never shut up about it, and it's music that's constantly playing in my house and car. I love them, I will always love them. Years later the love is just as strong as it was. You know I used to drive my family and friends insane by always bitching and moaning and complaining how much I just want a reunion? I wanted it all original members of course, I still do, but I'm happy with what I got. 

It's hard for me to describe this concert. This music. It's the music that makes me happy. Moments. Rare moments that make me feel glad to just be alive. Glad that I managed to suck it all up, all the bullshit in my life. Grit my teeth and get the fuck over it just to see this band play one more time.  It makes me fucking grateful for my life. It's not perfect but moments like this, are pretty damn close. The moments that finally shut the pain and bullshit in your head and makes everything okay, even just for a little while. 

Show went on with Mr. Brownstone and Chinese democracy. Not my favourite songs but that doesn't matter tbh. The voice you guys, he was screaming, it hurt my vocal cords. I thought he'll take it a bit easier after having such issues the other day, but nope not him. Madman. Song four, ''you know where you are Vienna? You're gonna die''. You know what it is right? Jungle of course and let me tell you something, nothing, NOTHING pulls people on their feet like that song does. I mean the energy on the stadium was electric from the start but this song really fired everyone up. I can't even describe how much I missed that. The stadium screaming and singing along. God. 

They did the Velvet revolver cover of Slither and AC/DC Back in black. Tbh I always prefered Ax singing AC/DC songs, and no disrespect here mind you, Brian is amazing of course, I just always preferd Axls voice so naturally to me AC sounded better when he sang with them. Was always salty that I didn't get to go to that AC tour when it was Axl singing. I bet it was amazing. That aside, I'm glad Brian is back and the band is back to what they were. 

The first one of my faves was Estranged. I adore that song. It's like, the mind of a genius. The lyrics. The music. It's perfect. Pretty sure I shared the lyrics when writing the write up of the first concert but here they are again, the part of the song that is just. All that. 

''So nobody ever told us baby how it was gonna be, so what will happen to us baby, guess we'll have to wait and see.

When I find out all the reasons maybe I'll find another way, find another day. With all the changing seasons of my life, maybe I'll get it right next time. And now that you've been broken down, got your head out of the clouds, you're back down on the ground, and you don't talk so loud, and you don't walk so proud, any more, and what for…?

Well I jumped into the river too many times to make it home, I'm out here on my own, and drifting all alone. If it doesn't show give it time, to read between the lines 'cause I see the storm is getting closer, and the waves they get so high, seems everything we've ever known's here why must it drift away and die.

I'll never find anyone to replace you, guess I'll have to make it through, this time, oh this time, without you…''

Yes I did just write that up from the top of my head, I don't need to google any of their lyrics, Favourite band is favourite band aye? But this song. The lyrics are just beautiful and meaningful and I can relate. I can relate to the sadness and heartbreak and the general vibe of this song. The somber mood. The idea. I get it. All of it. 

Of course you also can't have a GN'R concert without Live and let die. I noticed that those loud wnb gun shots in the song are missing. As well is the fireworks in Paradise city. Can't decide general angst or fire hazzard since all of EU is up in flames. 

Duff did the Stooges cover of ''I wanna be your dog''. Can I just say for a second, that it would be very welcome. Though he'd be the most spoiled dog on the planet. Lol. God damn blond boys making my head spin. I'm sorry Susan for having sinful thoughts about your husband. Shit happens. Oh btw they were introduced on stage, that whole ''Ladies and gentlemen, Guns n' Roses''. I don't think he said the most dangerous band in the world this time though. Think he just said all the way from Los Angeles. Makes sense because dangerous? Lol please, a bunch of fluffy teddy bears. 

They did Absurd, which is the first new song, released in 2021. Also of course Sweet child of mine, cue in the fact that I absolutely fucking lose it when that intro hits. And I saw enough clips online to know how it goes. Starts with a solo by Slash it goes on for like 7 min omg! GUITAR GOD. Can we please take a moment to discuss what else those fingers could possibly do? Magic probably aye? And I just knew that when the solo ends, it blends right into Sweet child. I screamed so loud hah! People wonder sometime how I still have my voice. Well it's a little broken the next morning not going to lie. Lol. Listen to me, love is love okay.

After Civil war there were the band introductions. And Ax was so cute introducing everyone, as if we don't know them lol, but he leaves Slash out and he's like, ''I think that's everyone no? Did I forget something? Can I call someone for a second opinion? A friend maybe?'' lol. Cute. I love him. It always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside watching Ax and Slash moments. I swear there aint nobody happier than I am, to have those two on friendly terms again. Everything is right in the world again when they smile at each other. Shut up let me have this moment! 

After the initial you know good bye, they came back for three more songs. ''Coma'', ''Patience'' and ''Paradise city''. They send you home with a bang. The atmosphere in the stadium was amazing. During Paradise city? All my hair stood up. Amazing. I just…god I am grateful you guys. I didn't think I'll get this moment again. Ever. It's expensive, and it's not perfect but neither is the world, and I'm just grateful for the moments of happiness in between. This last part is the part where we should listen to ''Don't cry''. Which basically is my only complaint. I really wished I'd get to hear it live at least once. Sigh. 

Now I know what you want. The notes I base these posts on. I posted them the last GN'R concert review and they ended up being far more interesting than the entire post itself. Ha. So here. But please continiue with caution. I'm not exactly sane in my post concert happiness. Or post concert depression. Or in this delirious heat. Or this delirious life.

OH! Before we get there, guess what guys?! Guess who finally has a freaking cool concert plastic cup. It's ridiculous and over priced but come on look at it! I'm screaming. On the inside. Might be thrown out of the house if I start actually screaming. 

Seriously guys…carry on with caution pass this point. 

So ok Slash, the guitar god Slash. That's not playing that's making love to that guitar. What the fuck? Can you imagine how skilled those fingers really are? I mean my vivid imagination can, but a demonstration wouldn't harm. Fuck I'm turning into a silly little grouple. Guys! Everything just works on him, the face, the clothes, the skill, the smile (if you ever see it through his hair) EVERYTHING!

Ax, who the fuck does your laundry? Who the fuck hands you the shirt each time you get off stage? Who the fuck gets to possibly help you change fast? Is that job still open? I'd do it for free and be over the fucking moon about it.

Has anyone looked at Duff lately? Oh jesus christ them legs! Legs for days! That hair! Them shades. Ay papi. I can't breathe. Is he aware of how freakin hot he is? Was it the summer sun and heat stroke or was I hyperventilating like a bitch in heat because of him. Shit he sexy. 

Ax. Oh my god Ax. The smiles, the giggles, the good spirits. I love that. He could probably spit in my mouth and I'd say ''yes daddy, do it again''. Listen to me, I do wanna ''feel my serpentine'' dear god in heaven what do you want really? To murder me. I think you did. Stupid serpent dance. Send help you guys. 

Listen. Patience. The best song on the show because Ax sounded the most like Ax and my filthy fucking mind wanted to hear more of it. Preferably more moaning and groaning. Preferably in a hotel room. Where we're stuck together for whatever insane reason. With no power. Nowhere to be. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. I'm curious you guys. Can he really hit all those high notes *wiggles eyebrows*. 

You know how Crue have girls on stage ''the Crue girls'' dancing? Vince spanked one on stage once. Bitch I was jealous. Can GN'R do the same? Listen I'm completely free, to dance and be spanked on stage, by all three of them.  Do as you please. 

This band is really bad for my legs. No they don't make them shake. They make them divorce. ASDFGHJKL!

No I don't listen with my eyes but bitch I have them. 

I think it's best I shut up at this point. Enjoy the few little pics, not much because for a change I wanted to enjoy the show and not be bothered with pics.

Alright lets get back to the fact that I'm a fucking idiot. I really should have stayed in Vienna. It's pretty god damn exhausting to be driving back and forth when there's less than 24 hours in between. But it was worth it you guys. If for no other reason then because and are you sitting down? The Rolling Stones are worth all the trouble we know that, BUT! They have a fan favourite song, where you vote what you want to hear. Angie. Which they never play lol. But the option was also Wild horses and it fucking won! Can you hear me scream? I mean you probably could tbh. 

Before I start babbling about the show and that one song, I was going to look up the concert review for the former concert and just realised it's so far back it's not even on this blog. My god. Time sure does fly. It still feels like last year to me. Sigh. So while scrolling through old OLD posts I sure see a lot of things I maybe would rather not see. And realised I have to swap to the other blog, which surprise surprise also doesn't have anything about the Stones, but a shit ton of my punk rock bands and their stupid perfect faces. Well shit. I don't think I knew how to appreciate real good music back then, or else I'd write an essay on how good the concert was. Because it really was good. And they played Angie then which is a miracle on it's own. They had the Temparance movment with them, which was the first time I heard of them, and ended up really liking them. Most people I know are always bitching about support, but I always thought it's so great being exposed to new music you maybe wouldn't heard about otherwise. Some you like some you don't but that's cool. All an experience.

This time the Stones had a local band with. They are called ''Bilderbuch'' and guess what? I loved them. The music is this Indie Rock type but they had this Maneskin vibe. The singer comes up on stage with bitchin makeup, jacket on, nothing underneath and high heels. An older man next to me was like ''you know Mick is hotter right, this one is a bit chubby'' and I, giggling aside was like ''that's good, you got something to grab besides bones'' hah. In the middle of one of their songs the jacket comes off, he's like just in pants then, claiming that he's hot. He was. Did I lose my mind a bit? Yup. HOT. Was I screaming ''take it all off'' before he did? Possibly. And honestly, if your guitar player is blond you don't need much more. I am so shallow I know. At least I admit that I am. Said guitar player had orange painted nails and pink hippy pants. I'm only human when you look like that you know. Also that aside it's a really great band, really great music, I'm always happy to hear something new, not only something I don't know but something that has a fresh new sound. In this overflowing music market that's more than welcome tbh. 

The Stones come up on stage as it's only fitting for a legend. ''Ladies and gentlemen, The Rolling Stones''. But that's not before a very VERY emotional tribute to Charlie Watts. It's heartbreaking. It really is. They play a little video, with all important moments, and very lovely pictures. Most I never even saw before. Mick actually told the crowd in German how much they miss him. We too Mick. We do too. It's just not the same. Musically wise though, as far as sound concerns, I'd lie if I said anything is missing, the sound is perfect as always, but when you know someone else is sitting in the back, and when you know he's not coming up to take that final bow with the band. That hurts. He was such a vital part of the band. The gentleman rocker. Sigh. We miss you Charlie so much. 

ALSO! Got another cup. So now there's two. I'm overly excited about this yes. I mean it's just a cup but really, it's a very treasured memory to me. Gonna sit on my desk now, so I can relive the moment each time I sit there...

This tour is such an important tour. I mean ''sixty''. Sixty years of rock n roll. That's amazing on it's own. Aint no band like them out there. I hear people moan and bitch and complain that they're not all that. There are other bands out there that are better of course. Even I have bands I consider better than them. And of course Mick is not a perfect singer like say young Seb Bach was. But everyone bitching is missing the mother effin point. There aint no band that achieved this much in the music industry and there aint no other band that could stand on that stage and celebrate sixty years. If you can't appreciate that. You don't have to like them but if you call yourself a music lover than you have to appreciate all they've done for music in general. 

The first song to open the show was Street fighting man, which was funny. In 2014 when we caught ''14 on fire'' tour the concert started with Start me up. I think that's such a brilliant song to open a Stones show. I mean. Start me up? Don't get me started now because that song always makes me go crazy. 

It went on with ''Lets spend the night together''. Listen. Yes. Hell yes. Do I want to spend a night with the Stones? Yes. I wanna spend all the nights with Stones. I'd say I don't mean this in a filthy way but honestly? I mean…I better shut up at this point. Lol. Look this aside how brilliant is advertising a show with this song ''Lets spend the night together Vienna''. I mean. All the feels. I get excited just thinking about it. Why do concerts end so fast? You spend months, a year waiting for that one show and then it ends in what feels like minutes. That's the worst part of it all. 

There were some surprises on the show like Dylans Like a rolling stone and Out of time. The crowd went crazy for those, I doubt I ever heard an audience this loud as it was on Out of time. 

Lets talk about ''by request'' I was holding my breath when titles rolled on the back. I didn't actually think that my song would win. Because lets be honest. When am I ever lucky? But funny story back in 2014 the song I voted for also won. Back then it was ''Get off my cloud'' which was already on the set list this time. So then the titles stop rolling and you have ''Wild horses'' in big black letters on the screen. I asked before and I'll ask again, did you hear me scream? I lost it. It's my song you guys. Absolute fave Stones song. I think I talked about it in a vinyl review before but if we revisit the topic real quick. Did you guys read Keiths book? He wrote in it ''it was one of those magical moments when things come together. It's like Satisfaction, you just dream it, and suddenly it's all in your hands. Once you've got the vision in your mind of wild horses, I mean, what's the next phrase you're going to use? It's got to be couldn't drag me away''. I mean. How romantic? Even wild horses can't drag that someone away. Isn't that what we all want in life? That special someone. That support system. I don't believe it exists no more tbh. The world keeps getting crazier and crazier, and things like inteligence and loyalty are a myth. 

It was Keith who wrote Wild horses and he used the 12 string guitar to really get that bluesy, melancholic sound. It was Mick who wrote the lyrics, people debated if it's about his at the time lover called Marianne but I don't think it was. I mean Mick swapped so many women…you can hear the heaviness and melancholy through the entire song though. And at this point I should probably re think my life choices because all my favourite songs are sad songs. Maybe that says something about me as a person as does, all my fave movie / tv show characters are villains. I like this song because of the end line, which is ''we'll ride them someday''. People say that's depressing and a sign of ending, but I feel like it's hopeful. As in those two lovers will meet again, and maybe they have another chance someday. I don't know. I like to see this song as hurt / comfort. I like to see it as a happy hopeful ending. Maybe it's my ''don't do sad endings''. But…yeah. Point here, this is beautiful song and I feel very fortunate to have heard it live. It was beautiful and it's a miracle I didn't start full on sobbing like I did in Milano when Bon Jovi did Always. I'm sorry but that was, is, and will always remain my favourite concert moment. Even if I by some miracle someday see My Chemical Romance (as if lol) and they do Sing, Light behind my eyes and Na Na Na, nothing will top Bon Jovi in Milano and Always. They gave us Italian flags for a fan action right, my flag is safely stored in a folder with the tickets and fan pit bracelet and it still has black mascara smudges. I cried like a baby. But then again so did Jon because of the fan action so we're good. Hah. 

Right lets get back to the Stones I think there was Living in a ghost town next? Premiered of course since it's a new song. I think it was recorded in 2019 and later on the video that was released is about the pandemic. Of course. What else. Didn't we all feel like ghosts living in a ghost town then? To be fair, the whole quarantine was my favourite thing on the planet because it showed me how nice the world would be with less people. Like I'm sorry but lately they're just too much. I just can't do people no more. They're horrible. The song though, Living in a ghost town is this slightly reggae vibe and it's amazing. I really like it. 

There was also Paint it black and Honky tonk woman. Can't go without that one. Actually I'm not sure but I think it was Honky tonk woman that Mick did this filthy dance to? I mean that dance you guys. There's a reason Maroon 5 have a song ''Moves like Jagger'' there aint nobody that has his moves. I'm not even thirty and I'd probably fuck up my hips if I try dancing like him. It was HOT. So hot. Listen, did we touch the fact that his sex appeal is just off the chart yet? It really is. Mick is something else. I don't care about his age. I don't care about his age showing on his face. He is sexy as fuck. That's all. And all men my age? They don't come close to the sexiness of this man. You don't need to be good looking to be sexy as fuck you know. 

We got two songs by Keith Richards and oh my god you guys he was so adorable! Kinda forgot what he wanted to say there, and it was cute because it really felt like, he's just standing there and can't believe all the support from the audience he's getting. I'm so happy to see people give him all the love because he deserves it. And to those idiots complaining about ''my ears hurt watching him play''. I have some thoughts. First one fuck you. Seriously fuck you. Have you seen Keiths hands? He has to battle with a lot of problems to play. Second. Can you play like him? Can you play at all? Third, thank fuck he's still here, still strong enough to give us this amazing show. And fourth fucking fuck a cactus with your disrespect. 

There were also Miss you, Midnight rambler and Sympathy for the devil. Of course. Devil might be the only one I have sympathy for at this point because I have little for anything / anyone else. Except those on four legs. We also got Start me up, late in the show but better than never. Ha! This song is so cool! So cool. All the feels. If it comes on in a bar it makes me wanna jump on the table top and dance. Possibly show my ''sise''. Ha! Wait! Wait a second, that has happened before. I didn't take my clothes off but dancing sure did happen. I aint Jagger but I'm trying okay. 

After Start me up there were also Gimme Shelter and Jumping Jack flash which obviously you can't have a Stones concert without. Now listen to me. Gimme Shelter? When Sasha Allen comes on stage? I mean she's always on stage but she's front and center on this song. I died and floated up to heaven. That womans voice? When she sang that one part of the song? FUCK! All my hair were up. Arms, legs, down there? Fuck yes. All of the hair. She is amazing. So much power. Yes girl!

They went off stage just like GN'R and came back for two more songs, one of which was You can't always get what you want with an Ukrainian choir. I mean…I mean…do we really need this on concerts? Really? I am so fed up of the yellow and blue on all shows, had to watch it on GN'R and Stones and for what? You're not really playing on my sympathy that I don't have…idk. All you're doing is annoying me. I didn't come for a lesson on how I should show empathy but to enjoy rock n roll. And it people had a problem when bands sided against Trump on election, saying they should play music and shut up…then can we do the same now? For the love of everything holy.

And just like GN'R Stones send you home with a bang. Last song is Satisfaction (you can see it on my IG – purpleskyline) and just. Oh my god. The vibe. The emotion. The electric feeling in the air. Stadium literally on fire. The video doesn't do the actual live feeling justice. Really it doesn't. it gives you a rough idea of how it was but it doesn't come close to the real thing. And it gives you the idea of the stage. The stage design, the lights, the shape of the mouth, everything was sick. Nothing is left to chance and nothing is anything less than perfect. I love this band for that. Every single small detail is thought out, every part, every moment of the show is planned and nothing is ever left to chance. I think at this point we should also talk about Mick real quick? What is he on? He is not still for one single fucking second. Lol. I really tried to take one good picture and gave up at like song two. That man is a live wire. Why are you walking up and down like that fool. Stand still for a damn minute. 

I need to complain for a sec though, not over the band or anything but over people. Mother fucking people. I'd be happiest if bands preformed for me and me alone. Why? I LOVE and appreciate music. People don't. All good things are wasted on them. Honestly. Seriously. Fucking wasted. What happened on the Stones concert? People were walking up and down the entire fucking show. I mean wtf? WHAT THE FUCK?! In the sitting area everyone has to stand up when you walk around, you get in their camera filming a song (all my vids are ruined thanks) just so you go fucking piss or get more fucking booze. Are you fucking kidding me?! Fucking selfish asshole. Like…these people gave me the vibe that they bought the ticket for the bragging rights you know like ''oh I've seen the Stones'' but on the actual concert they're bored to tears. Parading up and down the stadium and not once but ten fucking times. Have they ever fucking considered how fucking rude that is to the band? The band is up there giving you all they got. All the love. And you behave like this? Humans really don't deserve nice things. I am pissed off. And disappointed. And as an artist insulted. All you can do is give the common decency to fucking listen. Pay attention. But no. Lets get drunk. A 200 euro ticket is probably just a ticket to get drunk. Sure. Someone should btw make booze on concerts illegal. Just saying. Are y'all listening? Make it happen. 

Now that aside, this stadium really is one of my favourite venues. I saw the Stones here twice, I saw Bruce, I saw GN'R twice. It holds a special place in my heart. Just like San Siro and Gasometer do. Tastes might have changed and some bands are not that close to my heart no more, but amazing memories remain and these places will always be important and my favourite and I'll always look at them with love. This stadium though is amazing. Such a great venue. So much space. Such acoustics. And I have nothing but love for it. Already counting down days for next year. If not before than for another Bruce S. in the summer. Third time! Bring it on Boss. My body is ready. Lol. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go through all the concert videos and probably cry because I just can't process that it's over, my concert season that is. I mean maybe, possibly, I get Bryan Adams but I doubt that with the state of the world we'll get to see him in the winter. Sigh. What I do hope though is that Aerosmith and Whitesnake set up new dates. Lets not play stupid here, listen David I love you but we all know the only reason I want to see Whitesnake again is Dino right? Jesus that boy makes my heart beat race out of control and my blood boil. You guys! He's just…agh! ALL that. So yeah…seeing a local show tomorrow but that aside I think my concert season might be over for 2022 and that makes me depressed as fuck. If I learned anything I learned just how much I missed live music. I don't know how I lived without it for the past two years. It was hell. Pure literal hell. And I have no idea how the fuck people that never go to shows live. The hell is the matter with you? Are you normal? Are you okay? How do you breathe? What makes you happy in life? Wtf? So please, everyone pray for me. Pray that I get more concerts…or else…I don't know what I'll do. Die a slow painful death probably. Yes I know I'm being dramatic. There's gotta be a reason my family calls me a drama queen tbh. 

Before I end this post can I just spare a few words on Vienna as well? It's been a long time since I've been there. Long in my book that is. I was used to being there like all the damn time. And a three year break is insane. So being back…it was quite magical. Really. I forgot a little bit just how magicall that place really is. The art. The love. The vibe. My god. They're still living their best life in their pride month. The traffic lights are same sex couples, the zebra on the ground to cross the street is rainbow colored, there's flags everywhere and can I just say I fucking love it? Like really fucking love it. I love the acceptance. I love the love. I love everything about it. Coming from a very uptight hateful country this is such a change that makes me all giggly and happy on the inside. Also street artists? The open piano where anyone can play, listen, sing? YES! More of that please. For the love of everything holy more of that! More love. More art. More life. That's the only thing that separates us from beasts after all. 

Now, I'm sorry this is so long, and I'm sorry it took so long to post the damn thing. Hah. If you made it all the way here, woah, congrats and I love and appreciate you and if we happen to meet in the same place some day, do tell me that I owe you a beer. Hah. No but really, thank you for all the support you guys, I appreciate it, these ramblings would be pointless without you. And I promise to shut up now, but you do have some new book reviews to look forward too. Out of about one hundred that I want, I got two in Vienna. Super excited to read them! And more excited to bother you with them. It's all romance though, like my art profile is these days. Guess despite all the hatred inside of me, I'm still looking at the world through rose colored glasses. Hah. 

Hope you guys have a great week / end. Hope you don't melt. Europe is hotter than Satans ass lately. Jesus christ. Stay in shade and stay hydrated and listen to some GN'R. Cheers!

Oh P.S. just have to share this, on the other side of me, at the stadium, sat a lady that talked to me about Jaggers women and how he stole them from other band members and such and she goes ''he was doing them all at some point'' and I'm like ''all but us'' and she goes ''I mean yes! We should complain to someone'' lol it was TOO funny.