No mourners, no funerals.

''We'll take this city, might burn it down, we'll break this city, and wear it like a crown''.

About time I sit down and write some of my own content huh? If only I can force my brain to co - operate. Oh my god you guys I am so tired. This week felt like an entire year. A year of bullshit and trauma and bad shit piled upon bad shit. I guess many of us feel that way but it's really been a bit much. And people wonder why I drink. And then suddenly I'm sitting in my grandmothers living room, drinking orange juice out of my mason jar, pretending to be ''healthy'' and she takes a sip going ''your juice went bad'', I'll count myself lucky that she didn't figure out that the juice that went bad was mostly vodka. Or wait, maybe she did know and decided to be quiet about it. Did y'all know Romania has vodka in like mini milk cartons? Imagine how convenient, I'd love that, going on my way sipping on vodka looking like I'm drinking milk. Sip sip bitch. 

Now that aside, since there are all but zero pleasures in my life besides booze, books and drawing, you can expect the posts to spin around those topics. I won't ramble on about music because well what's the fucking point? I want to slit my wrists knowing concerts might happen just without me there. I haven't seen a gig since my birthday in 2019, and I swear I am in physical pain. In other news I'm actually happy I decided to participate in Inktober 52 this year because despite having a hard time getting the proper materials (do people even understand what Micron not Omicron but Micron graphic liners are?) and ripping my hair out over lacking creativity and drawings that are somehow just never good enough for me, that aside it's still something I look forward to each week (only I'd be so sadistic to look forward to stressing myself out each week…well when stress is all you know…). A new drawing prompt is at least something that keeps my brain stimulated and working. This weeks prompt though (keep an eye out for the post on IG tomorrow) is a recycled Inktober idea, but that's not due to lack of ideas but firstly because some people when you say stripes all they see is a zebra and all I see is Gomez Addams. Y'all know I can't resist drawing my favourite couple. So I took my ''suit'' prompt from October and elevated it to a higher level. Why do I sound like judges in Masterchef right now? You need to take this plate and elevate it to a higher level. Lol. If they said that to me, the elevation I'd do is throwing the plate in their heads. But I'm off topic and this is a rant for another day. 

Alright so no, unfortunally for you I'm not sharing cocktail recipes with you today, though I should, feels like I'd do something good for the community, nor am I sharing a detailed description of a highly erotic dream I had in which a specific very attractive man explored every inch of my body (and I his) and let me tell you something just thinking about it makes all the cells in my body combust in fire, the hands, the hair pulling, the biting and choking. I'm going to start panting just thinking about it. Lol. So instead I'll be boring and I'll give you a book review and oh my god you guys what a book it is! I loved it from the first page to the last. 

Before I say anything at all about the content, look at that beaufitul collectors edition book. All satin black and red foiling! I am obsessed with all the pretty shiny foiling! The ''Niffler'' in me is going crazy. Lol you don't even see the way it sparkles on the picture but trust me, it's perfect. And how about that character art? Sharing my favourite couple obviously but there's other characters that are just as pretty. And the red pages! I am in love. 

You'll remember the author Leigh Bardugo from my other reviews. The Grisha verse triology, and my obsession with the Darkling. I'm still right there, my poor mistreated baby…sigh. This is a duology though and I've yet to read the second part, which I'm struggling with due to a massive spoiler I saw (seriously people flag and tag your ''porn'' we don't wanna see that shit) and it's kinda…you know not something I wanna see. Puts you off from reading. I'll get there eventually though.

Before you continiue this post will obviously contain massive spoilers for ''Six of crows'', so if you haven't read it, I'd say, get off your butt and go get a jug of vodka and juice (or just vodka, hey I aint judging) instead, and if you did read it and still wanna read my ramblings and ravings, welcome, I'm so happy to have you here. 

Straight off the bat, this book is so hyped up. Everyone is talking about it, everyone is reading it, everyone is raving about it. That's usually another turn off for me because it was proven again and again that something that the masses love, I tend to hate. I can't help it, that's just how it is, my brain is hardwired the wrong way, I explained that a couple of times before. I'm usually a bit scared to go read super hyped up books because of that reason alone. I tend to be disappointed in the end, I'm looking at you 365 days. Utter garbage believe me. 

Excuse me I was interrupted by my mother yelling downstairs ''your mafioso is on tv'', could be many of them tbh but it was Thomas Shelby which obviously means all my undivided attention in a heart beat. My god that man. And oh dear god those crystal clear baby blues, like a hurricane on a Scandinavian coast. A blue so deep you don't even see the bottom. Sigh. I'm lost in a fantasy, ignore it, I'll pull myself together and pretend I'm any good at book reviews. Hey we're not all writers, some of us are just bullshitting through life, pretending we know what we're doing. Pretending our lives aren't going to shit or that we have any control at all. Pretending everything is fine when we open the car door on a parking lot and stumble outside in a landslide of cans and bottles. But seriously don't drink and drive kids, you may spill your drink (Joke. Seriously it's a joke, if y'all still know what humor is).

So super hyped up book, I had a hard time finding someone who wouldn't like it. Which tbh, fair enough, it's a fantastic book. It's beautifully written, full off action, a little ''constipated'' romance with fools who don't understand they're in love (aren't we all right there though?) and criminals that in the end their biggest crime will be stealing your heart.  Oh wait! Before we go on, this has very little actual ties to the Grishaverse triology but I'd still suggest you read those first because then this will make more sense. I kinda would call it the unofficial part four since it's happening after the events in the third book of the triology, but also not really, it's part four in the way of a fully established fantasy world. Or well you can watch the tv show because they brilliantly combined the two. That was a stroke of genius tbh to combine the triology and duology in one action packed tv show. Great job to whoever came up with it. 

So this story alternates betweeen six characters obviously since it's titled ''six of crows'' six crows…and I am not usually  the biggest fan of the plot  being split between two points of view never mind six! But I found myself enjoying the way this plot works especially since with every separate character and their chapters we learn a bit more of their backstory which really explains who they are and how they became the way they were. Let's be honest they're essentially teenagers but act more mature than fifty plus year olds around me. Obviously something  (life) made them that way.

They're described as followed;

- A convict with a thirst for revenge 

- A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager

- A runaway with a privileged past

- A spy known as the Wraith

- A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums

- A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes

The plot focuses on an impossible heist for a huge reward. Meaning a large chunk of money, but what the points of view switching tells us is different motivation. Everyone has a different reason for needing money, for needing to complete the task at hand.  And in more than one case it's not about the money but rather in buying freedom. If that's not something I'd understand more then well right now then nothing is.

I take it Kaz is pretty much the main character here, the story revolves around him. Dirty hands. The bastard of the barrel and the brilliant criminal mind who undertakes insane missions and heists in order to build up an empire and a name and all fueled by revenge. Yes I understand that too. Revenge just might be my biggest motivation as well. In some aspects of life that is. The story shows us some of the impossible missions he already undertook and then introduces us to the heist that is so daring and so crazy, even he may not make it happen. Does he though? Well read the book...

Wait a second, I didn't even think of it this way before but in this book I have two favourites, one being Kaz, who is essentially a gang leader…of course he is. And the other is Matthias who is blond and blue eyed. Son of a bitch. I really never stray far from my likes…and I didn't even realise. Sigh. 

Ironically I can relate to the cold hearted and ruthless part of Kaz most. The part that doesn't care how much violence something needs to get it done, and the part of him that does anything in his power for those he cares about. Yeah. He's dealing with his trauma, there are reasons he is the way he is and that's another thing I can perfectly understand. Don't we all have some sorta fucked up baggage we can't really process?

I'm literally in between typing this solving quizes online on who is my Grishaverse soulmate, already assuming all I get is the Darkling but lets keep the options open…hm first result says Nikolai, second says Kaz and the third one said Nikolai again. Well makes sense, another pretty blond. Lol. And it shows my mind is all over the place if I can focus on one simple task at hand. Finishing this damn post that I've been working on and off pretty much the entire day.

I actually think this may be the first heist book I've ever read. Seriously. I can't remember any before this one, it was always hurt / comfort. Mutual pining. Heartache. Heartbreaks etc…and murder, and vampires. And well angel – human forbidden romances, what can I say I'm predictable. But books with happy endings mind you. Life is so tragic as is I don't want none of that shit in my books as well. So a heist in a fantasy world, with a crazy group of misfits, that may or may not pull it off? Sign me up for that. I'll admit though in the begining it takes a little while for the story to really take off, but I get it's the story / character building so it's okay, it might turn off some readers though. But you guys look at it this way, even in the bedroom you need some foreplay before you go to town…

And what I wasn't too happy about was the cliff ending closure. Like. I do NOT like cliff hangers. This time I'm looking at you The Witcher season 2. I mean fine at least I already have part two but what if you're waiting on it for like…years? I mean I suck at this, the story will keep eating at me and drive me crazy. No closure is something I'm really bad at. Call it personal trauma like Kaz' but really…not my fave thing in the world. Good thing though that this cliff hanger isn't enough to ruin the book for me. Lol. I still love it.  

Completely unrelated but why are so many reviews these days a bunch of people yapping on youtube? Do people honestly watch that? Ridiculous. Everyone wanna be a vlogger or ''influencer'' these days. What a dumb word btw. Actually what a dumb concept. Like anyone really cares what Karen had for breakfast this morning or how she ran out of her favourite shampoo. Sorry, I can't wrap my head around the fact how can you take them seriously. Or how can you watch them. Or worse let yourself be influenced by them…so strange. 

Why.Am.I.Constantly.Carried.Away.In.This.Review? Maybe because like a cat avoiding hot porridge, I'm avoiding the topic of Matthias. My sweet baby angel, who was taught to hate all his life but learned to love. Please stab me in the heart because it will hurt less. This whole enemies to lovers thing? I'm a thirsty bitch for it. And after all this growth and development and love…? You get part two of the duology and well…those of you that know know, the rest of you…well I aint breaking your heart. Read the book. With caution though. It hurts.

I'm going to stop rambling and I'll share some of my favourite quotes instead. They're fun and my jumbled mind might manage that better then bullshitting my way trough the story and butchering this review, to simplify all the raving…I love the book, you should read it. 

''Many boys will bring you flowers. But someday you'll meet a boy who will learn your favorite flower, your favorite song, your favorite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.''

''Kaz leaned back. ''What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?''

''Knife to the throat?'' asked Inej.

''Gun to the back?'' said Jesper.

''Poison in his cup?'' suggested Nina.

''You're all horrible'' said Matthias'' 

''I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.''

''When everyone knows you're a monster, you needn't waste time doing every monstrous thing.''

''Brick by brick, I will destroy you.''

One of the best quotes might be this one though;

'' ''They fear as I once feared you'' he said. ''As you once feared me. We are all someone's monster, Nina.'' ''

This is something Matthias says to Nina and when you think about it it's so true for non fantasy world. Matthias and Nina both grew up with their countries at war, both raised with prejudices and hatred bred towards each other and the significant part of it is the truth of it, no matter what you do, you will always be someone's monster. Someone will always believe you to be in the wrong. And the important part is that as this part of the book goes on Matthias tells Nina that she taught him to be something better, which shows us that he went from the hatred he was taught to believe in to seeing the truth. Opening his eyes and seeing the truth, let love win. It's beautiful once you think about it. 

And my absolutely favorite quote because I'm a sappy Italian romantic bitch; 

''I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together, knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.'' 

Now to end this post…and probably throwing myself into more sadness. Like I need more sadness in my life huh? Today would of been Michael Hutchences' birthday. And that always makes me sad. Do me a favor, play a little INXS for him today. And also the sudden death of the French actor Gaspard Ulliel, god…I can't. He was so talented, and such  a bright light. It's just sad you guys. And it stabs me in the heart each morning when I wake up and see a picture of him in a Chanel commercial on my wall. Sigh. Rest in peace love. 

I think that's it. I think I need to stop playing with madness and shut up, y'all enjoy the rest of the weekend and stay strong on another dreadful Monday. Cheers. Bonus tho if you made it this far, a doodle of Mr. Kaz Brekker. If you read the book or maybe a little bit from this post as well, you'll understand why he's literally me. Or I him. 

Who will change the world.

How was your first week guys? If this is a test trial period then I don't think I want the full subscription. Sigh. However today you're not getting any wisdom from me. Today I'm sharing an article by a local reporter (B.S.), which I will translate but I will not be sharing his name or the magazine name, if you're interested send me a private message, I won't post publicly so they don't get backlash or unwanted hate mail. Obviously all intelectual properties in this blog post  belong to said reporter. I hope you read it even if in parts it reads like a crime novel. Most important thing you need to know though is that this article was posted in July of 2010! 12 years ago. I think it's a fascinating read, especially in the year 2022 and even more so how we the people colletively forgot about all the things in the article. 

A crime against taxpayers

Last year's hot summer was marked by fear of the swine flu virus, which many prominent experts and also the world's most serious media fell for. 

The whole industry was waiting for a pandemic… Tom Jefferson, epidemiologist.

The United Nations and business need each other. We need your innovation, your initiative, your technological courage. But business also needs the United Nations. In search of an ideal environment in which business could flourish… Ban Ki-moon, UN Secretary-General.

Last year's hot summer was marked by fear of the swine flu virus, which many prominent experts and also the world's most serious media fell for. Probably because the H1N1 virus, first discovered in Mexico, was in fact unstoppably conquering the world at the time. By the end of last April, in just a few days after the discovery, it had quickly infected nine countries. In mid-June 2009, it was detected in 74 countries. Just two weeks later, in the first days of last July, the World Health Organization (WHO) was horrofied to report that the virus was already killing in 120 countries. At the beginning of May this year, it owned practically the whole world. H1N1 has been discovered in 214 countries and overseas territories.

The scenarios that unfolded after last year's outbreak of swine flu in Mexico were at first downright horrific: the H1N1 virus will infect at least two billion people, hundreds of thousands will die… In the US alone, $ 2 billion was instantly spent on drugs, and the government allocated an additional $ 7.5 billion for prevention. But the apocalyptic predictions did not come true. As they did not with sars and bird flu. By the beginning of May this year, 17,919 people had died from the virus, but the common seasonal flu is taking at least ten times as many lives worldwide. It causes 250,000 to 500,000 deaths each year, according to the WHO. Independent experts say that this "terrible" new flu has even proven to be the mildest form of the disease since the official outbreak of influenza in the world »

Panic with a background

So the panic was unnecessary. So who triggered it and who benefited the most from it? It is clear that the World Health Organization has acted unscientific and irrational in this story, warns British MP Paul Flynn, rapporteur of the Council of Europe on the subject. As early as May last year, China, Britain, Japan and some other influential countries, as the Associated Press reported at the time, loudly warned WHO to be careful with announcements about the spread of the disease, as there could be unnecessary panic and confusion. But in Geneva, where the WHO is headquartered, such advice has not been heeded. In the same month, they first changed the definition of a pandemic (mortality was no longer important; by then, only 144 people had died from the H1N1 virus worldwide), and then on June 11, 2009, the new disease was declared a pandemic.

German epidemiologist dr. Wolfgang Wodarg, who was the first to launch a serious expert debate on this topic in the Council of Europe last December with his False Pandemic - Health Threat initiative, firmly believes that Geneva did not decide to declare a pandemic out of health concerns, but it was a carefully planned move aimed primarily at boosting vaccine sales. “There is simply no other explanation for what happened. Why else would we change the definition of a pandemic? ”Said the then ruthless Wodarg, who is no longer in the Council of Europe. As he was not elected to the Bundestag in the last German elections, he is no longer a member of the German delegation to the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe (PACE). That is why his mission was taken over by the British Paul Flynn, who, together with the German, prepared a truly excellent and highly critical report for the June PACE meeting in Strasbourg. It should be seriously considered by all European governments, which in this story (un) intentionally fell for experts and earners from the pharmaceutical industry.

Vietnam War virus

H1N1 has been declared a completely new and hitherto unknown virus by the World Health Organization. But practice has quickly revealed that this is not the case. Patients over the age of 65 reacted significantly differently to the virus than younger people. This could mean that they have met it before and thus maintained their immunity. This was also confirmed in Strasbourg by prof. dr. Ulrich Keil from the Epidemiological Institute at the University of Münster. According to him, the virus was brought to the United States in the 1970s by soldiers returning from the Vietnam War.

The disease was already christened the Asian swine flu at the time. The panic was considerable. Nearly 40 million people were vaccinated in America at the time, fearing it was a virus similar to the Spanish flu that killed tens of millions of people after World War I. But the vaccination was stopped the moment they found out that it was basically a very mild disease. The swine flu at the time claimed only one death in the United States, and at least 30 people died from the vaccine. The side effects were devastating. As many as several hundred Americans have been diagnosed with the incurable Guillain-Barr syndrome, which also causes paralysis.

Also this time, comparisons with the Spanish flu were completely superfluous, adds dr. Keil. This took place in the historical context of the First World War. It was transmitted by soldiers who, due to malnutrition, exhaustion, wounds and lack of medicines as we know them today, were easy prey for all possible viruses and diseases. Therefore, the deadly harvest at that time simply cannot be compared to today's times, as medicine today is completely different from health care almost a hundred years ago, warns Dr. Keil.

Fact is that those who decided on the pandemic were exaggerating. What they wanted to achieve with that, only they know. The panic was terrible. For example, Karin Andersen, an MEP from Norway, said in Strasbourg people in the queues in front of health centers were literally fighting for the vaccine out of fear of the virus. And condemned the politicians for failing to provide a sufficient number of doses in a timely manner.

But the problem was also that, due to panic, even doctors in many places could no longer distinguish between flu and flu-like illnesses caused by at least two hundred different viruses. Epidemiologist Tom Jefferson of the Cochrane Collaboration, for example, says only 7 to 15 percent of patients with flu symptoms actually get swine flu. In many countries, therefore, there are serious difficulties in distinguishing between patients who died of swine flu (had flu symptoms but died of other pathologies) and patients who died exclusively of swine flu (this was the leading cause of death). The confusion was therefore complete, and the conditions for falsifying statistics - and fishing in the mud - were also ideal.

Geneva Secret Committee

One of the main bodies dealing with epidemics and pandemics in the World Health Organization is the so-called Strategic Advisory Group of Experts (SAGE). But the Director-General of the WHO - this task is now performed by Dr. Margaret Chan, who did not get vaccinated against the flu, as she allegedly did not have time for that - she can also appoint a special Emergency Committee in case of serious complications. Said committee has met eight times since the outbreak in Mexico and the United States in April last year until May 2009. And apparently fatally influenced the fact that Geneva then decided to declare a pandemic.

But when the Council of Europe asked the WHO for the names of the members of this committee, which are secret by agreement, the Geneva response was negative. Explaining that these people would be subjected to terrible pressure from various companies and interest groups after their identities were revealed…Strasbourg received a similar reply from The European Center for Disease Control and Prevention (ECDC), which has been operating in Stockholm since 2005. This institution also did not want to reveal the names of experts who were obviously on the same wavelengths when deciding on the pandemic with their colleagues from Geneva. The transparency of the operation on which Europe is actually based upon has failed the swine flu test. The scandal was complete with this.

Sleeping contracts

Different European countries have reacted differently to the pandemic. Some governments have already signed so-called "sleeping contracts" with pharmaceutical companies after the (completely harmless) bird flu, which activated them as soon as the WHO declared a swine flu pandemic. But a vaccine for them has not yet been provided. Companies started supplying it on a first-come, first-served basis, with prices two to three times higher than the usual seasonal flu vaccine. This "package" also included a clear warning that most of the vaccine's side effects would be the responsibility of the governments themselves »

The British government has earmarked £ 570 million for the vaccine, according to Paul Flynn. A huge sum, which was logical in the event of an outbreak of swine flu, as the British Ministry of Health predicted that the H1N1 virus on the Island would take at least 65,000 lives. By spring, less than 500 Britons had died from the flu…

They reacted similarly in France, where they initially ordered 94 million doses of the vaccine, worth 365 million euros. But because the virus turned out to be less scary than it was portrayed, official Paris managed to rescind the contract for 50 million doses. Only 5.7 million French people have been vaccinated against the flu. Some vaccines have been sold to other countries, but there are still 25 million doses in storage, which will expire later this year. So the government has thrown away a huge amount of money because of the pandemic, which did not exist. A real crime against taxpayers.

Poland said no

Similar dramas have taken place in other European countries. The only bright exception was Poland, which, thanks to the determined Minister of Health Ewe Kopacz, a former pediatrician, did not buy the vaccine. Warsaw intended to do so. It is expected to be bought for about two million of the most vulnerable people. But the conditions set by pharmaceutical companies for the purchase were unacceptable to the minister. The traders demanded that the government take responsibility for any possible side effects. “I will not buy medicines from you that you do not guarantee for. When writing a prescription, you must first ask yourself this question: Would you prescribe this medicine to your children or your mother? ”Ewa Kopacz was determined, and the pharmaceutical giants left Warsaw disappointed. The Polish minister was one of the few in the world who realized in time that the swine flu pandemic is not as serious as it is portrayed, and that it is clearly due to great financial interests.

There was a great deal of logic in these reflections of hers. The results of the financial operations of the large pharmaceutical companies that produced the vaccine actually showed huge profits. According to the well-known investment bank JP Morgan, the companies are expected to generate profits of between 7 and 10 billion euros by selling the vaccine in 2009 alone. They were right at JP Morgan. Sanofi-Aventis, for example, announced earlier this year that the company generated as much as 7.8 billion euros in net profit last year. Largely due to the successful sale of the swine flu vaccine.

Untested vaccine

Dr. Wolfgang Wodarg claims that the pandemic has enabled pharmaceutical companies to turn large piles of money into overnight (secret) contracts with governments precisely because of good "business ties" with the WHO. Pharmacists have thoroughly prepared for this event. Also with the development of super fast - newly patented and therefore more profitable - methods for making vaccines in bioreactors with the help of fast-growing cancer-like cells. But these vaccines have not been clinically tested and can therefore be very dangerous. Neither children nor pregnant women should be vaccinated with them, warns Wodarg. In Germany, for example, Novartis optaflu was therefore rejected.

It is clear that in recent years a strong and extremely strong network of corruption has been forged between Geneva and the pharmaceutical giants. With a single goal: to make as much money as possible. The WHO has persistently denied this, but has not provided any evidence to that effect. Some media have therefore recently started a real hunt for influential people in the World Health Organization, who also had close ties with the pharmaceutical industry. One such was dr. Albert Osterhaus, a member of the WHO’s Strategic Expert Group of Advisors, has had his fingers in all the panic reactions to viruses they have discovered over the past decade. That is why he was nicknamed Dr. Flu…

Under pressure from the public, including the Council of Europe, Geneva decided in June this year to launch an investigation into possible indecent connections. But they tackled the problem again very strangely. It turned out that the commission of inquiry included as many as six members of the aforementioned emergency committee, which essentially made all the key decisions. These six men were therefore to judge the decisions they themselves had proposed to the WHO's top leadership. A farce without precedent. When this detail came to light, two controversial members of the commission of inquiry immediately resigned, and the remaining four are still not bothered by this conflict of interest.

The real killers of civilization

The fake swine flu pandemic has revealed a series of abuses and irregularities that plague virtually all of modern society today: complete non-transparency in making important decisions, corruption, clientelism, intertwining business interests. And worst of all: earnings were more important in this story than people’s health. In apparent alliance with the pharmaceutical industry, which has smelled the opportunity for big profits here, the World Health Organization has shifted all its attention, influence and (taxpayer) money to a peripheral virus, while for the worst killers of today's civilization, such as high blood pressure, cholesterol, depression, diabetes, cancer or AIDS virtually does not care at all.

In less developed countries, for example, 26,000 children die every day from malnutrition and curable diseases alone. That’s almost ten million dead children a year! Shocking statistics, says Dr. Wolfgang Wodarg, but neither the WHO nor the governments of developed countries are doing anything about this terrible number. There are no profits with the poor! However, these same governments were all at once willing to spend billions of public money to tackle the not-so-dangerous H1N1 virus. Really upside down world.

Who will change the world? Certainly not those who are silent about it. The fake swine flu pandemic has revealed a series of abuses and irregularities that plague all of modern society today. And worst of all: earnings were more important in this story than people’s health.