''The people are the government, and the people have the power. All we have to do is awaken the power in the people.''

I'm literally sitting here in the middle of the night updating and writing shit posts for two of my blogs in order to keep my breathing (should I say panting?) under control. I watched the Witcher. Binged watched the Witcher and I have a couple of problems. Starting with how dare they cast Henry Cavill as the Witcher. Oh my gawd I'm not okay. That gray hair, yellow eyes and leather does things to me which in turn make me wanna do things to him. Bad bad things. Lol. Second thing they're giving us all these trailers, sneak peaks before the release and my mind the entire time was just ''bard bard bard bard bard''. Literally. No joke. OH MY GOD HAVE YOU HEARD THE SONG?! (Burn Butcher Burn) It came from a broken heart? Please unfollow, stop reading, block my posts because this is all I'm going to be talking about for a long while. Henry's voice in that Witcher mode growl? Lord help me I need Jesus and a confession. So damn sexy. And I would literally sell my soul to the devil twice to have him wrap his hands around my neck and growl into my ear (straight of set, in his Witcher gear still lol). Though my fangirling and freaking out aside, season two is better in every single way than season one was. Also, I need Henry's necklace bad! Anyone knows any good replica shops? Let me know if you do.

In more important news, my fellow Tumblr and Apple users, y'all seen this new tagging bullshit right? I hope every single employee at Apple gets beheaded. Sincerly. I prefered iPhones over Androids always but this? This is seriously crossing any and all lines of good taste. Why the fuck can't I use the tag ''mine'' anymore for my art? What kinda fucking problem can Apple have with that? I get tags for things that may be triggering but here's a wild idea how about banning triggering things all together so no tags are needed? Huh? I mean like look at an example banning the tag ''antisemitism'' is only preventing the discussion about it but not the content itself. The only message they're sending out this way is that creating a bricked up garden with hateful posts is acceptable on social media while pointing out that it's hateful is not. What the fuck for real. Listen to me and listen to me good, I aint censoring myself and fuck them iOS users (yes I know I'm one of them).  If anyone wanna read the idiotism of blocked tags here's the list  (Click me )

My fave gotta be suicide prevention and safe sex. WHAT IN GODS NAME IS BAD ABOUT THAT APPLE?!

Also that aside, I need to focus on the vinyl playing (yes finally after a year, a miracle my player still works after being neglected for so long) music, which was put on the player in order to either prevent me from going into a fit of rage over Apple and our government doing idiotic, fascistic bullshit or getting overly horny over the perfect human being that is Henry Cavill. Clearly wrong choice of music since I'm still both, angry and horny which in normal circumstances aint a bad thing to be honest, aint nothing quite like a little rough, hate sex. But back to the music there aint nothing hateful or rough about this man… 

Y'all know I do not like the Beatles. Really they're not my cup of tea. Over rated in every aspect and why the hell would you listen to the Beatles when you had the Stones? But their solo work I love. Most of it anyways. McCartney and Lennon at least. Lol.

This album came out in 1982 and it was released after John died. As a tribute to his solo career. It was supposed to come out in 81' but I believe it was held back for a year due to some legal bullshit. Isn't there always some legal bullshit? I think this had to do with that some songs were owned by Geffen and some by EMI and they probably couldn't come to an agreement. The album of course includes some of his biggest singles from his solo albums as well as my fave song by him which no is not Imagine but Stand by me. Though of course Imagine has better lyrics and story, aren't we all dreamers after all? I might be into Stand by me far more due to a fond memory tbh. It's not everyday at a karaoke bar where you get a musician who is supposed to be a good singer but had one too many drinks dedicate this song to you in a pink feathery boa, howling like a wounded moose. Good times. Now I don't even know what karaoke or a bar are to be honest.

Over all the selection of songs is alright but a little strange. I mean starting with ''Give peace a chance'' such a John Lennon thing to say. We all should give peace a chance, we all should live in peace but honestly, I don't have John's optimism or dreamer nature so I can't imagine the world giving peace a chance, at least not as long as humans live. It's a great start of the record though. ''Instant Karma''? Yes. I wish daily that Karma whoops some butts of some people that really deserve it. Another one of those, will I ever see it moments? It seems to me that this world is far more prone to favour idiots and assholes than it is to favour good people. I'm not even talking about myself here, I know I'm not perfect, I know I've made many mistakes, pissed off some people, hurt some people. But I know people that are nothing but kind and caring and loving and they seem to be on the receiving end of all bad things, always.

Third song side A is important. ''Power to the people''. I take it if you're here reading this post you know at least a little bit about John Lennon, you know his political stance and his ''rebelious'' nature. So you'll know this song is a Revolutionary statement. He wrote this song as a call to action of sorts, a response to the radical politics in the 60's. Deja Vu these days aint it?

Basically the phrase speaks for itself, obviously indicating that the people need to take control from the governments and institutions, which Lennon himself fought for and advocated. I often think how miserable and disappointed he'd be in the world we live in now. I don't think he'd enjoy watching the governments trampling rights and abusing people, or maybe I'm wrong and he'd be the voice of reason, the person that starts a proper riot. You know the kind that burns cities to the grounds. Metaphorically speaking, we all know John wouldn't hurt a fly. But you know what he said about this song? It was during the time him and Yoko (ugh) were doing the footage for the Imagine documentary, he was asked about the precise meaning of the song. Stupid question because wtf are you an illiterate idiot or…? Anyways what John said was ''The people are the government, and the people have the power. All we have to do is awaken the power in the people.''

This statement is exactly what I'm trying to make people see. People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of it's people. The very first second people start being afraid of their leaders it's no longer democracy but totalitarism. And the fact that we let them get away with everything, the fact that we let them use and abuse us, let them decide what they think we should do with our lives, with our bodies, with our beliefs. It's absolutely perverse.

Cute story a month after this song was released the Chi-Lites ''(For God's sake) Give more power to the people'' came out and though they wrote mostly about love and heartbreak they occassionally released a political song as well. Though they wrote about feelings, didn't want to get involved, John Lennon was different, he was up to his balls involved.

And then you got ''Whatever gets you through the night''. Well John, freshly sharpened pencils, couple of sheets of blank paper and gallons of coffee. Most nights. Some nights staring at the nightly starry skies wondering if someone else miles away is looking at the same sky as I am. Some nights simply lost in my head in either scenarios that end up hurting me or fantasies in which someone and I'm not going to lie it's mostly Henry, is attending my deepest, darkest fantasies, making them come true. So there. That's what gets me through the night. What am I saying. Sometimes it's literally chilled JD Honey.

Fun fact. Whatever gets you through the night is Lennons only solo number one single in the US during his life and he was the last member of the Beatles to achieve this. Recording includes Elton John on harmony / back vocals and piano. And another fun fact / cute story. Elton bet John that this song would top the charts but John was so sceptical that he said if it does he'll appear on stage at one of Elton's preformances. So the song hit number one and Lennon appeared at John's Thanksgiving gig at Madison square garden in 1974, which was Lennon's last major concert appearance.

I don't need to specifically go into Imagine and why that song is so important and meaningful right? I think we all know what it means and what the message behind it is aye?

There's of course other songs on this album like; Dream (what are those?), Mind games (aren't we all subjected to those lately?), Love (what is that?), Happy Xmas war is over (is it though?), Jealous guy, (just like) starting over (that's all I really want, a fresh start), Woman (according to new Ios – tumblr tag block a woman no longer exists lol), I'm losing you (sigh), Beautiful boy (darling boy), Watching the wheels (what is he a dog chasing a car?), Dear Yoko (gross. Come on I can't be the only one with a distaste towards Yoko?). But those all aside let's focus on my fave one eh? Yes because it's my fave that's all you're getting.

The blonde singer that sang this to me in a bar. Oh my god. Lol. He butchered the song, if there was ever anyone turning around in their grave then it was John during this ''preformance''. Tho the lyrics were all correct the singing was…well..takes a few tequila shots to ''enjoy'' the howling. I also heard David from Simple plan sing Stand by me, few times. Loved it. But lets go back to the original song. Which is not Lennons at all! This always happens to me I love a song by a certain artist and learn it's not theirs at all but a cover. Sigh. Ok so the original was released in 1961 by Ben E King. And last time I checked there's about 400 versions of this song out there. Can you imagine that? 400 different versions of the same song. I imagine it's the same with Hallelujah though. Apparently King said it was inspired by Sam Cooke's song ''Stand by my father'' could be. And another reason why I like it. Lets be honest everyone knows I love me some Sam Cooke. Oh look another thing on my bucket list, I need like a greatest hits by Cooke vinyl with Cupid and Change is gonna come and most importantly Twistin the night away. Bestie and I would dance to that song on the frozen Lake Bodom being stupid together. Fun times. Imagine how much more fun it would be if that ice cracked under our feet. Lol. Thank god Finland is practially permanetnly frozen.

I love how John covered this song, I love the acoustic guitar and I love the solo in between. I always hate it when someone takes a song and wants to make it 100% the same. If you're a singer, put some of yourself in the song, make it your own nobody wants to hear the same song all over again only sung in a different voice. Like metal singers do with Disney songs? Yeah I love that shit.

Either way I need to wrap this up because there's a sketch of Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders on my desk screaming for my attention and if there's one thing I can't resist is fresh new sharpened pencils and a pretty face to sketch. Y'all watched this show btw? Amazing! I love it so much and Cillian Murphy is so good in it. I had a thing about him before, those eyes! But I feel like he was born for this role, clothes, face, hair! All of it fits. It wasn't my thing before till I was persuaded into watching it and since said person doing the persuading has to suffer through my moaning and panting over the Witcher…it was only fair I watch some of his content too. Thank fuck I did. (Also Tom Hardy!).

Right the album! The first posthumous release and it did super well, reaching number one in UK (of course it did) and number thirty three in US where it also went triple platinum but what's more important and also kinda creepy is that the front and back cover pictures (they're awesome aren't they?) were taken by the amazing Annie Leibovitz and just a few hours later John was murdered. Jeesh.

Either way, despite not being a huge fan this is an album I enjoy now and then. For calming your nerves and anger and horniness there's no better cure. Lol. I suggest you give it a spin.

So enjoy your week you guys, last week of 2021, I don't know should I be relieved or terrified? Either way I'm glad this shit year, another shit year actually, is finally ending.

This Christmas instead of gifts, I'm giving everyone my opinions.

People call me bitter a lot these days. Yea. Maybe I am. Maybe Christmas is something we should all enjoy despite our religious status.  Maybe the point of Christmas isn't that much in the birth of Jesus but spreading positivity and love and light (isn't that what he would of wanted?). Whatever that is. Maybe. 

It wasn't always like this you know, my dad and I did the whole Christmas tree, nativity scenes, lights, presents, the whole ordeal. The tree had cotton balls spread on it's branches to make it look like snow, all kinds of ornaments from all over the world, and a red star on top of it, with colorful twinkling lights. I admit the nativity scene was far off, we did a ranch with animals and cowboys and no baby Jesus but the effort was there. The dog had a Christmas hat pretending to be Santa's little helper and we had literally any and all types of food you could imagine. 

Things changed. The near word Christmas and those idiotic Christmas songs throw me into murderous rage. The lights make me sick and the all together gloomy atmosphere is enough to make one wanna slit their writsts. I'm here rambling and ranting because as per tradition of course my family already ruined any and all chance of a Holiday. After they succesfully threw me into a sour mood with their declaration of how stupid I am, my clothing style, my hair, the fact that I'm an idiot who's grades in school were handed to her and some more about ''getting nowhere in life''. Well…no wonder I'm cooped up in my room talking to myself on the blog. Here's the deal, Christmas in my book is hell. It's the same always. When we're forced to actually spend time together all hell breaks loose (yes you can imagine how much fun the last year has been). Maybe that's why I dread December instead of look forward to it. Maybe I just wanna be left the hell alone. 

And the crazy part is if I was allowed to decorate how I want without being called an idiot because ''that's just not how things work'' who the fuck decided how things work? And if I was seated at the table with people that are actually happy to have each other…maybe then I wouldn't be bitter either. I want a black Christmas tree with gothic ornaments and band logos, and a Grinch on top of it and someone who looks at me the way I look at puppies and Henry Cavill, watching Home alone with me while drinking hot cocoa which I don't even like but I would for the purpose of this fantasy. I guess I honestly only wish for love and understanding. And probably for the whole world to disappear but let's not get crazy with wishes. I guess starting small, at home, would do. 

The only highlight December, Christmas, New years, used to have were open air concerts in the city center, with cinnamon apple fries and mulled wine or hot gin. And well…yeah we know where we are this year. Depression. Gloominess. Darkness. Even the fireworks are quiet (bez tebe šuti vatromet)…''Most wonderful time of the year'' aye?

Lets not even start with the fact that people believing into a cosmic being born to a thirteen yearold without intercourse is my biggest problem but I learned lately that people will believe anything depending on how you present it to them. Though lets be serious there's one positive development. This year I was spared any and all Christmas shopping, I didn't have to watch shopping zombies in the store, I didn't have to lose my mind in a mall, I didn't have to drive and go crazy over no parking space. No Corona passport, no drama. Everything is good for something aye. 

Alright, instead of rambling I'll wish you those of you that celebrate a great Christmas day, I hope you spend it with your loved ones, family, friends, pets, yourself, your books, your vinyl. Whatever floats your boat. 

Merry Christmas guys.

We are no saints.

Todays song recomendation for you is ''Blind Channel - We are no saints''. I am obsessed okay. I mean yes more Finish boys to obsess over, what a shocker huh? But this songs lyrics speak to me. Especially about the part with the priest and a panic attack. You know what my dad always said? That if I ever go to confess the priest would probably combust in flames. Might actually be true as well. Hah. But speaking of the only reason for me to be caught in a confessional is to fulfill a dirty fantasy of having sex in there. Listen we all have our kinks this just happens to be one of mine. One that would probably have me arrested. I can't even begin to imagine if the police calls home to bail me out for this what my family would do. Mom would kill me but dad would probably laugh and say ''that's my girl''. I miss him. Have I mentioned that lately? Probably not, since things have been growing progressively worse day by day and the list of people to miss is growing longer. But yeah...

Can y'all believe that this year is almost over? I mean mentally I'm still somewhere in 2019, trying to process 2020, confused as fuck when people tell me it's almost 2022. Like how? How?! I don't understand. I was ready to drop bodies the other day when someone condescendingly told me that the 80's were 40 years ago. Wtf. I automatically think ''oh 20 years ago''. How is time even moving I don't get it at all. 

So here's the deal, did I accomplish my goals for 2021? Of course I fucking didn't. Did I look after my mental and physical health? Of course I didn't, they're both easily the most fucked up they've ever been. Did I manage a proper healthy diet and enough sleep? Laughable. Of course I fucking didn't. Was I happy at least for a few brief moments? Well fuck no. But I'm not here to dwell on all the negative. How about some positivity? And Jesus fucking Christ it just occured to me how hard I have to think about it. Not only what has happened in this past year because as I said above my concept of time is completely fucked and I find myself looking things up on the blog or emails to see when something happened. And it was even harder to think what the hell was even positive. Jesus not many things at all. 

I like to think my drawing skills improved immensely because I actually took the time to really work on my drawings, shading and perfecting details. Inktober was the most fun I had all year I'm not going to lie and the drawings created during this Inktober are easily my favourite ones. 

I actually made some new friends that might be reading this right now and they are all badass and I love them. So cheers guys, your friendship has been a highlight in this past fucked up year. 

Maneskin won eurovision. Super happy about that because I obviously love them. And shit I'm already struggling on the positive. My mother would say ''you're still alive'' yeah that is not always a good thing to be honest. 

I got and read some really fantastic books, while still pondering when the fuck I'll finally write my own. Always wanted to but lets be honest it won't ever happen, even if it wouldn't even be a tough task, all I have to do is use my crazy family and turn them into a story. That would probably sell like hot cakes. 

I think this is it. I think that's all the positive I can list. If I started listing the bad shit I think this blog post would never actually end. Sigh. It's been a very tough year you guys, I know, for most of us, so no point in whining. I'm literally selfharming with scrolling through old social media posts about a life I no longer have. I could never dream of concerts not being a thing and missing them this much. You guys! Last show I saw was October 2019 and the only real reason for not seeing a concert this long, for me, it should be death. Honest to god. To be honest all I really feel when looking back at this year is ''Sharp pains impaling through my heart, slowly tearing me apart'', as is the pain from losing the person who wrote this line. Sigh. 

Honestly I'm afraid to scroll back in this blog and have a look on my December / January posts. The whole constantly wishing things get better and they never do part is going to kill me. It's like being in love with someone that will never love you back, you know that feeling right? It's slowly killing you day by day by fucking day, like smoking, or drinking. It's hell. Pure hell and torture. 

Alright enough whining and self pity, the new Season of the Witcher is finally out and I'm going to play a game of ''can I watch the whole season in one night?''. Lol who are we kidding of course I can. Aint nothing like a little bit of gray haired and yellow eyed Henry Cavill in leather to warm up my cold dead heart, just don't ask what the story is about, I have no idea. #shallow