Need you tonight

This is an album I adored for the longest time, but only recently got my own copy. Last time I wanted to buy it I completed an order online, waited for confirmation and then the seller emails me that he literally sold it minutes before in his store. I mean what kind of karma is that?

But thanks to a really good friend I can now enjoy it as loud as possible on my very own player. And trust me I played it like 6 times already since I got it, and I played it loud. Never tear us apart? Still makes the hair on my arms stand up each time I hear it. And did you know it was supposed to be a piano song at first? Thank god it isn't is all I'm saying.

This is the 6th studio album they released and the album that moved them from their previously more new wave sound to a more funk and soul and punk and sorta dance oriented sound. And it gave them four of their bigger hits that reached top ten in the USA, with ''Need you tonight'' being their first and only number one.

What I find funny is that their record company hated the album. Reminds me of Warrant and their Cherry pie, Jani hating that song so much yet it's the song even people that have no idea who Warrant are will know. Aparently Atlantic Records president offered them a million dollars to record another album because this one is shit.Well thank all the gods they didn't take that offer. Hope he bit his tongue after seeing album sales.

Though the band went through a serious downfall in the 90's I think the final nail in the coffin was Michael's death in 97'. There would be no way in getting their sound or vibe back, not without the soul that Michael brought to the band. He had this charisma about him, perfect voice, perfect vibe. He was something else and he died way too young and so tragically too. Another sad story isn't it? A musician that has so much to give, a good person,…sad.

Album starts with Guns in the sky which is a track describing the state of the world and it's obsession with arms, a byproduct of the cold war era as well as about the fears of nuclear war.. In the final verse, he sings; “Well I’m sick of it / It’s a load of shit / We could stop the world / And let off all the fools / And let them go live with their guns in the sky …”.

INXS then shifts gears and slips into the funky, New Sensation, another track blasted probably on the dance floors in most corners of the world in the late 1980s. I remember making out on a dance floor to this song once. Faintly. There was a bit too much vodka prior to that. But I do remember the song very clearly. Hah.

Then you got the first single off Kick which is ''Need you tonight'' a song that probably needs no real introduction, legendary. That little sexy whisper ''come over here''. I read in the INXS's official autobiography that Andrew Farriss said that the famous riff to the song appeared suddenly in his head while he was waiting for a cab to take him to the airport, he was going to Hong Kong. Aparently he asked the cab driver to wait a few minutes while he grabs something from the hotel. He ended up recording the riff and coming back an hour later with the tape. I bet that driver was hella pissed though. From there he flew to Hong Kong and worked out the rest of the song with Hutchence in about an hour. I mean jesus, talent much?

The song though is a much more electronic than most of the band's material before or after, combining sequencers with regular drum tracks and a number of tracks of layered guitars.

On the Kick album, the song is linked to the next song, which is titled either "Mediate" or "Meditate", depending on the pressing of the album. On some compilations, the two tunes appear together and on others, only "Need You Tonight" appears. The music slowly dies down and Hutchence simply says "you're one of my...kind" before seguing into Mediate / Meditate a song that recalls the more experimental side of INXS. Can I just say that I would LOVE to be ''his kind''?

I can't even remember first time I heard them, must of been early in life, I remember knowing about them since forever. Literally. Never tear us apart was one of my favorite songs since forever. I remember it playing on my daddy's radio and mom's car. Always brings up nice memories.

Kick in general was the band's best selling album, with reported sales at around 20 million worldwide. Aparently and so the band's official autobiography says, the album sold nearly 10 million copies worldwide only two years after its release. I think that's a rather amazing number, I mean sure there's bands that top that number by far but still. Great number for an album that's by some unpopular oppinion shit and shouldn't be released.

The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) certified Kick as six times Platinum. And in Canada, Kick is the second album by an Australian band - musician to receive a diamond accreditation, the first being AC/DC's Back in Black.

The album has been praised by critics of the world as a work of "rhythm rock" perfection, and has made its way onto many "best of" lists; in their 1988 issue of "Best Albums of the Year", Rolling Stone readers placed Kick at number 3. Two years later, the magazine ranked the album at number 11 in their 1990 Australian issue of "100 Greatest Albums of the 80s''. Well deserved if you ask me, it gives me shivers how people these days don't even know them.

"Need You Tonight" was also at number 16 on the list of "Top 100 songs of the 80's. LA Weekly also listed the song at number 5 on their list of "20 Sexiest Songs of All Time''. How must it feel to have a ''sexy song'' never mind one of the sexiest songs of all time? Must be am odd feeling. Also what makes a song sexy? The number of people that did IT to it? Number of people that wanna make out like crazy to it? A singers low and raspy voice? Or a guitar riff to die for?

Now the reissue. It's on a three-CD + one Blu-ray set thingy that aparently includes previously unreleased demos, remixes and rarities. And would you believe I don't have it yet? Hell must have frozen over. Ha. There was also a vinyl version of Kick remastered and cut at half speed over two 180 gram LPs that will spin at 45 RPM. I heard different things about that one though, some saying it's amazing. Some saying it's awful. But a friend of mine told me that the sound quality makes you feel like you're in the studio with them. Boy, what I'd give for that…studio with an amazing band. Can you imagine what it had to be like to be in the recording sessions with GN'R while they did Appetite? My god.

While we're on this INXS topic, I wanted to share a drawing of Michael I did some time back. I had too much fun drawing him, always love drawing long hair. Maybe that's why I keep drawing rockstars, they all have long hair. Hah. Anyways this took me about 19 or so hours and I used classic Faber Castell color pencils pack of 24 plus graphite pencils 2B to 8B, I noticed that those preform so much better then a black colored pencil. It's never really black while the pencil is. Funny huh?

Alright that's about it. Wish me luck guys, I'll be seeing the Infinity war sometime this week. Now that whole ''Thanos demands your silence'' didn't work so I already know it's going to rip out my heart and that I will never recover. Seriously Marvel get your shit together this isn't funny anymore. Take care y'all, and I'll see you when I get back, assuming I live to see another day after IW.

Keep on keeping on.

It's been a weird week. I know I say that a lot but jesus my weeks lately are a mess. So much confusion, so many unanwsered questions, so much drama. I'm at a point where I'm just asking myself ''how the fuck did you make it this far?'' wanna know? Booze and music. So help me the only two things stopping me from murdering someone at this point. It's better to open a beer and enjoy a good record then getting myself in trouble. Though certain people would deserve trouble but let's not go there right now.

There was a time when I was young and stupid and naiive and wanted a ''family first'' tattoo on me because family was something sacred to me, something you always rely on, something that keeps you going. Yet these days all I'm thinking is people that don't know their families are lucky. I'm at a point where I wish I didn't know mine. I never imagined anything or anyone could hurt me as much as the people I call family did. I don't know what I did, who I killed, why I deserve this in life...all I know is I have to be real fucking bad to be punished by the universe this much.

Funny how the world works isn't it? It doesn't matter how much you want something and how hard you work for it, sometimes it's stupid to think it will happen. Guess what? Some things are impossible. And when you come to think of it, why beg people that don't love you to love you? Why grovel? Why humiliate yourself? I know pride kills love but what if there was no love to begin with? I guess I need someone to tell me flat out how to move on, how to survive, how to function and get over the fact that the only people you thought love you can't stand you. And how to cope with the fact that you lost everything. The fact that you're all alone. The fact that nothing is alright anymore and it doesn't seem that it ever will be again. I guess I just need some help.

Zombies, zombies, what's in your head, in your head? Zombies, zombies...

''If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade, I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude, it's tearing me apart, it's ruining every day...''

''Oh, I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong but I was wrong, I was wrong...If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie, things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used...did you had to let it linger?''

Cranberries - Zombie / Linger

Nothing makes sense anymore.

I used to know where the bottom was somewhere far under the ocean waves, up on a ledge I was looking down, it was far enough to keep me safe but the ground was cracked open. Threw me in the ocean cast me out away at sea and the waves are still breaking, now that I awaken, no one’s left to answer me.

My inside’s out, my left is right, my upside’s down, my black is white. I hold my breath and close my eyes and wait for dawn but there’s no light. Nothing makes sense anymore, anymore...

I used to sleep without waking up in a dream I made from painted walls, I was a moment away from done when the black spilled out across it all. And my eyes were made sober, world was turned over, washing out the lines I’d seen. And my heart is still breaking, now that I awaken, no one’s left to answer me.

My inside’s out, my left is right, my upside’s down, my black is white. I hold my breath, and close my eyes and wait for dawn, but there’s no light.

I’m a call without an answer, I’m a shadow in the dark, trying to put it back together as I watch it fall apart.

My inside’s out, my left is right, my upside’s down, my black is white, I hold my breath and close my eyes and wait for dawn, but there’s no light.

Nothing makes sense anymore, anymore...''

Mike Shinoda - Nothing makes sense anymore

Sometimes a band member just understands you, you know. Nothing makes sense in my life either Mike. Did you guys see his EP Post traumatic? He said about it that it's a “journey out of grief and darkness, not into grief and darkness”...

You know I always had nothing but mad respect towards Linkin park as a whole? They were never just musicians, they were always amazing people too. And then there's Mike. Gosh that man. This EP is so raw and personal so packed with emotion, the grief, the pain, the ammount of it all and him, sharing it all with us? I think that's amazing. I think he's nothing short of amazing. And so strong, god so damn strong. At that concert ''friends and family celebrating the life of Chester''...when he sang Roads untraveled and his voice broke when he sang “it’s the worst kind of pain I’ve known..”, yeah my heart was kind of splitting in two not going to lie. Mostly for him, them, all of us and some because I know exactly what he feels. I know exactly how much it hurts. It's funny how life turns out and how naiive one can be. In that very moment when it happened I honestly felt that there is nothing worse that could happen to me. How wrong was I huh?

So I sat down and listened to this EP and just let myself be sad. For all the pain Mike is clearly going through, for all the heartbreak he's going through and for myself, for all the storms and hell and heartbreak and pain I'm going through. It's so brave of him to strip his soul, sharing his pain with the fans, the ''family'', Chester was a legend, a bright light and he left such a mark on this world, a mark on all of us, those that met him, those that loved him, fans, family, friends...and I miss him terribly. His voice was the only therapy some of us could rely on, his lyrics made us feel understod, less alone, less afraid.

He would of turned 42 on March 20th but I guess the universe took him away from us, it probably realized that this world as ugly as it is, doesn't deserve someone as kind, compassionate, loving, generous as he was. Here's the worst part, thinking about all the things he won't get to see, like his best friend developing into an even more amazing musician that he already is, or his kids grow I realized why this hurts even more now. Because it hits home. It's personal.

I'm not one for big white weddings and all the fuss that goes with it, but my dad will never walk me down the isle. He'll never meet my children. He won't see me graduate or get my first big managment job. And it's just like Chester sang ''and you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair''. No, it really isn't. And the worst part is all the hell that let lose on me aside that sometimes I'm just fine and sometimes it just comes crashing down on me and it hurts like hell.

Gosh I'm sorry, this post is a mess of emotions, a mess of everything, darkness and sadness and that was not what it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be about Mike's amazing EP, how grateful I am that he's sharing his emotions and grief with us when it has to be anything but easy for him. And it's supposed to be about Chaz, the love and light and magic he left behind and let us experience in the time we had with him. This world, my world is not the same with him (them) gone.

And we love you too, thank you for everything.

Since I don't have you

You know I have a serious problem of seriously crushing on Duff McKagan? Like, when he was on stage in Vienna singing Attitude I probaby died a little and came back no joke. But then again I have a serious problem with this entire band. Have you ever seen or heard a better band? The voice, the guitars, bass players face. Lord have mercy.

Have you seen that thing Duff does with his hair though? That thing! If he'd do that to me on a meet and greet I'd be done for, dead and done at his feet…this thing…

Lord have mercy. Alright since it seems that today I'm in full GN'R fan girl mode, (when am I not?) below is something I wrote a long time ago but never posted, simply because I didn't have the vinyl to go with, but now by some insane luck and amazing boyfriend I do have it and so help me god if there wasn't the fear of damaging it I'd literally sleep with it under my pillow. I did mention fangirls are crazy didn't I?

I was obsessing over this record for so long I don't even know how many hours I spent stalking it online. Something's missing now when I stopped doing that, but then I realized there's still GN'R Lies, so hey another obsession to deal with. Hah.

The most dangerous band in the world they call it. I don't know why, to me they look like a bunch of kittens and if this is about booze, drugs, sex, can't we all agree that the Crue were far worse or do we have to count how many times Sixx died? (no offence baby, I still love you). Did you ever think about how ironic the Moscow peace festival from 89' really is? (I'd kill to be there btw) A concert with the goal to help fight alcoholism and drug abuse with young people and there you've got the Crue, Nikki himself said he doesn't remember shit because he was having a withdrawal crisis, then you got Skid, Sebastian said that he was completly smashed and running from his manager that wanted to kill him. Lord knows Ozzy wasn't innocent either. And all that in Moscow in 89'? What. The. Hell.

90's were wild though, I mean GN'R took no shit in the 90's did they? I mean they dropped Use your Illusion I and II same time as Nirvana put out Nevermind, not giving a damn, millions spent for music videos, Axe being a huge diva, causing trouble and even a riot and let's not even begin with Slash vacationing at the Four Seasons with a mountain lion. A damn mountain lion! Like how do you even…what has to go through one's head, jesus christ, and where did he get it?

So The Spaghetti Incident? was released in 1993, as the bands 5th studio album. The only studio album to feature rhythm guitarist Gilby Clarke and the last album to feature Slash, Duff and Matt Sorum. I don't care much about Matt we all know that there's only one drummer *coughStevencough* fit for this gig and I will fight anyone that disagrees here. But Slash and Duff leaving that was a catastrophe.

You know what's so funny actually? That the hype around this album was huge, yet people were disappointed and back in 1993 records stores literally couldn't get rid of them and today it's considered the ''holy grail'' it goes for insane ammounts of money online. Isn't it funny how the world works?

Now I agree, this album doesn't come near Appetite or Use your Illusion, but hell I love covers and I love how these are made. Since I don't have you is totally my song, I get goose bumps all over each time it's on the radio, and I think I made it clear above just how much I fancy Duff's version of attitude.

Slash said that this record was to alleviate pressure of the Illusion albums, aparently while recording longer tunes such as Civil War and Estranged they played around by covering punk rock songs. This is just like Sweet child of mine. Did you know that the famous intro that probably everyone on this planet knows was just Slash fucking around because he was bored? That's like insane. What kind of a genuis is he? My god.

And the name! So aparently the name comes from Steve hiding his cocaine in the fridge calling it ''spaghetti'' so people wouldn't know. And when the band was sued by Steven him blaming them for his addiction (I mean the band sure didn't help him but was this really nessesary?) the judge asked Duff if he can tell them about the ''spaghetti incident''. I can just about imagine Duff starting to crack up in that judges face.

I heard a different story though, far more disgusting and that was that it was actually a bet, Between Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx as in how long can they go without showering and still get groupies to sleep with them, aparently at some point one of them got sick just smelling them and threw up on them, and what she threw up were spaghetti and that was supposed to be super funny to Axl so he named an album after it, though unlikely I got to say I laughed out loud reading that. It would so be the ''terror twins'' to do something as idiotic.

I guess you know what the real issue with this album is? An unadvertised and hidden (starting at 2:17 in "I Don't Care About You") song by Charles Manson titled ''Look at your game, girl''. It caused a storm safe to say with law-enforcement and victims-rights groups expressing outrage over the damn song. Axl said it's just a hidden bonus track and that they're not giving any credit to Manson while Slash said it was naiive and innocent black humor. Some humor if you ask me. But then again looking at Marilyn Manson who named himself after him…I mean… I think people didn't get what Axe tried to say though, he wore a shirt with Manson's face in my opinion to make a statement, everyone expected him to becasue everyone just assumed he's the bad guy and bat shit crazy when in reality he's far from it. Of course the song was removed from later pressings and the thing was put to rest. Kinda.

So many people hate this album, so many ''die hard'' fans can't stand the thought of it, but you know what I the completly obsessed die hard fan think? That it's awesome, that it shows one of their really amazing works and that it's just pure and massive punk rock tribute to other amazing bands but totally renewed and delievered in a completly new light.

You tell em' babe. To end this post I'll copy a quote by the Geffen records about it:

''So think of The Spaghetti Incident? As the equivalent of Michael Jordan playing a pickup ball game. It doesn’t count in the standings; it’s just raw talent kicking back and cutting loose. (Geffen)''

There you go, and that's all I've got to say today. Enjoy your Easter guys, spend it with people you love or like me, burried under tons of university work, trying not to stress cry every ten minutes. Hah. I hate you statistics, I hate you SO much.

P.S. I told the proffesor that us artist just don't do math like, ''do you think Michelangelo did math?'' and he brings me a book in which there were Michelangelo's sketches with actual math on them for the Sistine chappel. God damn it. This fight isn't over yet mister, you won a battle but not the war.