Sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone, narrow streets of cobblestone. ‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp I turned my collar to the cold and damp. When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light, that split the night and touched the sound of silence.

Disturbed - The sound of silence

This is my confession I need your heart in this depression.

My favorite song has always been Always by Bon Jovi. I guess I'm a romantic at heart. I love the lyrics. I love the song. I love Jon's voice. But that's just one song. There's other bands I love more, other albums I love more. Or at least equally. One of my top favorites being this one...

Now, some people are saying this is not Boss's best work. Let me tell you something. Those people are bloody idiots that are probably not even paying attention to the music. The very same people that probably don't get the point of the song ''Born in the U.S.A.'' let me give you a hint. It's not about blind patriotism.

Wrecking ball is amazing. His 17th album and it's the most confrontational album Bruce ever made. He is angry, he is mad, he's not afraid to pour all that into his music. He is painting a picture of his own country at the time *not that it's any better now*. A picture of America, drowning in lies, cheaters, profiteers...he goes into political affairs, he tackles hypocrisy, corruption and greed. He is exploring the working class territory, which is not hypocritical as some people say it is because if you'd know a bit about his past or even listen to his songs you'd know he knows a thing or two about economic frustrations. This album is this new ''Darkness on the edge of town'' that's gone way past the edge of town, to the heart of the people instead. Don't get me wrong though, good kind of darkness. I think for me this album brings back Nebraska, lives on the edge of collapsing, depression, frustration, same vibe, though of course this one is far more complex.

This is not the first time for Bruce to tackle such a topic of course, Nebraska aside, he's done it plenty of times. His fathers hard working life being an inspiration behind it no doubt. But this one is different. Angrier? Definately. Also more provocative I'd say. Did you notice the parallel between Death to my hometown and My hometown from the 84's Born in the U.S.A. A lot has changed huh? This albums is not just touching the topics I mentioned, this album is full on attacking them. From a point of a devastated man that's been betrayed too many times. ''If I had me a gun, I'd find the bastards and shoot 'em on sight'' in Jack of all trades speaks volumes.

"In America, there's a promise that gets made... called the American Dream, which is just the right to be able to live your life with some decency and dignity. But that dream is only true for a very, very, very few people. It seems if you weren't born in the right place or if you didn't come from the right town, or if you believed in something that was different from the next person, y'know..."

This is what he said, summing up...basically himself, all his music, everything. Searching for the American Dream that always seems to be just out of reach, specially during a time of unemployment and economic crisis. That was back in the 80's. So yea, Bruce has been there before. The two best songs on the album Wrecking ball and Land of hope and dreams were written with the full E street band in mind and they also feature the amazing Clarence Clemons who passed away in 2011. He was just another amazing talent that was gone too soon and we all miss him. Aparently the song Wrecking ball itself was written to pay tribute to a Giants Stadium where the Boss and E street band were the ones who played the venue's last concert before it was torn down in 2009. If you listen to the lyrics you can hear that ''I was raised outta steel here in the swamps of Jersey some misty years ago''. I guess it makes it emotional for the Boss because the stadium was build just about the same time as his career was taking of in the 70's. I guess it's pretty surreal to outlast a stadium?

Land of hope and dreams was written around the time when E street had a reunion tour. Late 90's. It's almost 7 minutes long and it blessed us with two solo's by the amazing Clarence. God I wish I had the chance to see him live. Though his nephew Jake Clemons who replaced him now in the E street band is just as amazing. I think this is just about the kindest thing the Boss could have done, given him the chance to play with them. This is a song with one of Bruce's favorite metaphores if you will. A train. A train that welcomes everyone, no matter what race, color, wealth, age. It's an ideal, a glimer of hope when you need it most and 40 years into Boss's career that's what he does, reminds us of what brings us together when every single little damn thing around us seems to be going against us. Corney? Maybe but the power the song like Land of hope and dreams holds is in it's ability to overcome that. To overcome cynicism. It now feels harder to do then ever. But honestly hard times will come and go, yet a song like this will last forever. It's always there to give you comfort when you need it most.

The album came out on election year and for that it's actually really bold. Going into what the true business of politics is such as responsible governing which let's be honest is completly fucked up right now, not just in America but all over the world. There is plenty of guilt to go around.

So the albums opening song is ''We take care of our own'', patriotic, rocker song. And also Bruce's frustration with the government. The lyrics itself speak volumes ''Wherever this flag is flown, we take care of our own'' a contrast to the rest of the verses with references to the havoc hurricane Katrina left and suggesting that obviously they did not take care of their own.

And then you've got my favorite song ''Death to my hometown''. I love that song, this cd played in the car a lot and each time it came on I turned the volume really high and howled along. Don't ask the weird looks I was getting on every single red light. Hah. I heard it live on both concerts I was at. Amazing moment. Amazing song. It's angry, it's a protest song about the practices of Wall street and economic crisis for which the Boss considers them accountable. What I love most is this Irish folk influence, Celtic tinged melody, and the vocals that sound almost like a battle march. Everything blends together so well.

Another one just like it is Shackled And Drawn, fast, powerful, an anthem against frustration and powerlessness. I can relate so much because I feel the same way, shackled, stuck in this place, in a life that no matter how hard I try, I can't change because there is nothing I can do about economy or politics. There is literally nothing I can do against certain things and they make me so angry. This is why I love the Boss. He understands, he's our voice, he says what the rest of us can't, or are too afraid to.

Then you've got songs such as Easy money with really charismatic vocals and Jack of all trades which is a ballad that was meant to encourage and inspire. Just a man assuring to the one he loves that no matter what he has to do he will, just so they can get by, though he's unsure and he knows bad things can happen ''we'll be alright''. I suppose eventually we will be.

I really admire him for putting on something like This depression. He's battled with it for years, sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse but it takes balls to bare your soul like that. Trust me I know. So I've got nothing but mad respect for the man for doing just that. It's a sad song yes but also beautiful, he never really displays this much vulnerability so doing that is a big deal. Not to mention Tom Morellos guitar work. Magic. As opposed to this song you've got You got it which is light and kinda bluesy and a cool song to put on, windows down and cruise. Alright maybe Dancing in the dark is better for that but you get the point.

Rocky ground...now that one is something else. The vocals, his vocals are right on point, slight gospel vibe and the rap part. Michelle Moore! Respect. It's unlike anything the Boss ever made but holy hell is it perfect or what, the song is absolutely captivating. First time I listened to it I was rather confused that's true but then when it grew on me I was hooked.

The last song, closing track is We are alive. It's a weird one not going to lie, but weird in a good way. Like the Addams family, they're completly bonkers but I'd still have them as my neighbors. Maybe have them adopt me, I doubt I can get any weirder so I'd fit right in. Ha. Anyways the song! It has a credited melody line from Cash's Ring of fire. The song is for the ghosts of the oppressed, protesters, immigrant workers..."I was killed in Maryland in 1877 when the railroad workers made their stand. I was killed in 1963 one Sunday morning in Birmingham, we are alive and though our bodies lie alone here in the dark our spirits rise to carry the fire and light the spark to stand shoulder to shoulder and heart to heart." beautiful.

So while we're on the topic of this album, dear Greg Kot who once wrote that Bruce's music is ''sterile'' and also that he "lost his nerve as a coproducer, going for stadium bombast instead of the unadorned grit these stories of hard times demand." Sincerly Greg, you're an idiot, this is a record with heart, it's right in your face, it's making you face the problems all around you that you're either to ignorant or too stagnant to see. And it's a beautiful tribute to Clarence who is ''too fucking big to die''. So I politely disagree with that statement. And so do the statistics, considering that this album debuted at number 1 in 16 different countries, making it his tenth number 1 album in America and tying him with Elvis Presley for third most sold number one albums of all time. At the moment only Jay Z and the Beatles have more number one albums. Let's not forget that President Obama *yes I refuse to call that...thing...president so do not dare and correct me* used the song We take care of our own as one of his top campaign songs, playing it in his re-election campaigns and of course playing it right after his victory speech on election night. It gave the song a boost in sales for over 400% too.

And of course the album and the single We take care of our own were nominated for three Grammy's. The Boss and the E street band preformed that night but didn't win because let's face it the Grammy's are not what they used to be, when artists such as Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber get nominated and then actually win...well you know. Anyways Rolling Stone ranked this album the number one album of the year on their top 50 albums of 2012 and it went gold in UK, Switzerland, Portugal, France, Canada, Austria and Australia, and of course platinum in Finland, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Spain and Sweden.

Wrecking ball tour that promoted the record was Springsteens biggest tour, spreading over 26 countries and it made a whooping 340.6 million dollars in 124 shows all together. It was also the first time I saw him and one of my most precious memories. It was the most I paid for a ticket 105 fucking euros, holy hell, well GN'R topped that now, hah, point is, the most I paid for a ticket but so bloody worth it. He really does put any other young preformer to shame. 3+ hours of nothing but a rock n roll spectacle.

This album is not a 10 it's an 11. You really should get it and listen to it. It's powerful, it's angry, it's emotional, it's a rollercoaster and it's one hell of a ride. Seriously get it and treat it with love it deserves.

You really got me.

''I live my life like there's no tomorrow and all I've got I had to steal, least I don't need to beg or borrow, yes, I'm living at a pace that kills.

Runnin' with the devil.''

Do you ever get bored and take one of them online quizes? I seem to do that often. During times when I really should be paying attention to the world around me. I already learned fascinating things about myself. For one facebook seems to be certain that at some point I will be a math teacher. Ha ha ha. Are you kidding me? I hate math, I suck at math. This could never happen. Also married to an Italian with three kids? As if.

But that aside, there's quizes about rockstars that can't really give a wrong anwser, which 80's rockstar is your soulmate? Which 80's rockstar would date you? Which 80's hair metal musician would fall for you? You get the point right? Anyways the one musician that I keep getting seems to be David Lee Roth. So in that spirit here we are today....

Do you have albums, songs, musicians that you feel are just completly underrated? Not appreciated as they should be? Don't get as much love as they deserve? I actually feel Van Halen are one of them. They actually created this whole new wave of hard rock music. Honestly look at it back in the 78' between punk and disco, rock music was barely holding on. This was the re birth of hard rock, you've got two extraordinary talents together, Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth. And yet somehow when speaking about revolutionary rock albums they never seem to make the cut.

But don't you think it should get more attention? Don't you think that Eddie completly changed the perception or what a guitar can do? Sure okay they're not Led Zeppelin or the Rolling stones but I believe they are still just as iconic as any of the ''big guns'' are. This was a how do they call it a ''pedal to the metal'' kinda album that came onto the scene what it seemed like out of nowhere. And it's still one of the top debuts of all times. When I said Eddie changed how we see guitar playing forever that was because the speed and flair he plays with? That is nothing short of jaw dropping. All the solos and riffs on this album and any follow up album are amazing.

They are originally from Southern California, formed by the brothers Eddie and Alex Van Halen, which is where the name comes from. Did you know that they were actually born in the Netherlands to a jazz musician? Roth joined them somewhere in the 1974 I believe, his father being quite wealthy and his uncle owned a cafe which had names such as Dylan and Hendrix playing it it. Amazing huh? I guess it's not hard why they picked him to he the frontman. All that sass and charisma and charm and essentially looks as well. Makes sense.

They started out playing anything, from private parties on someones backyard to Sunset strip night clubs. Cute story in 76' Gene Simmons saw them preform and offered to produce a demo tape for them. Of course later he backed out of the deal because the band wouldn't change their name into, what is that one spider with really long legs? Oh right! ''Daddy longlegs''. Seriously Gene what kind of a name is that for a band? Comforting to see that his ''smart'' comments are not a recent thing, obviously he's always been ''smart''. After that Kiss's managment told them that the had no chance of making it. Well hell, they sure showed them haven't they? The very next year a man from Warner Bros saw them play and was so impressed that he got them a recording contract. Which turns out to be a bit shady, or so the band is saying these days.

So there are nine original songs and two covers on this album. And right from the get go with Runnin with the Devil, it's hard and heavy, I feel like it's something that should be played in one of them fantasy movies when Godzilla or whatever else is popular at the moment, rampages through Hollywood boulevard or Manhattan, swatting planes from the sky. Funny thing about it is that it never made it to the charts as a single but today it's one of the most known songs by them.

Then you've got the Eruption, instrumental and probably one of the best guitar pieces ever recorded. Slash baby, I love you and I'm so sorry, I feel like I'm cheating on you but what's true is true, also I did say one of. Hah. I read about a man once that was born on a Van Halen concert during this song. I mean how cool is that? To say ''oh I was born at a Van Halen concert, during Eruption''? Eruption wasn't supposed to be on the album it was Eddie rehearsing and the guy that gave them a record deal heard it and loved it, same story as Sweet Child O Mine's intro, just Slash rehearsing. Can you imagine that? Reaching a point where your rehearsing is that good? And not to mention that both Eruption and the begining of Sweet Child which has to be one of the most iconic guitar riffs could never happen? Bloody nightmare.

Eruption goes into You really got me, as cliche as it is it's one of my favorites. Obviously. Who doesn't know or love that song? Riff after riff and those vocals in the chorus, cmon. It's perfect. And guess what? Unlike Runnin with the Devil this one made the top 40 single chart.

''I’ve been to the edge and there I stood and looked down, you know I’ve lost a lot of friends there baby, ain’t got time to mess around…”

Ain't talkin' bout love is rather dark don't you think? As opposed to You really got me which is basically all fun and games. But to be fair I think a great and really underrated song is actually the last song on the first side which is I'm the one. Kinda bluesy and dynamic and a slight acappella part, I really don't understand how this song doesn't get more attention. You know what Nikki Sixx once said? That he loves vinyl because there's no skipping, you put on a record and just listen, that's why bands had to do an album where all the songs were good not just the single. Honestly I love that about vinyl too, I came to realize many times that there's songs I love far more then the singles on those albums I listened too. Single isn't always the best song.

Alright part two. Feel your love tonight, Jamie's cryin'? Pop rock. Although they're nice and their catchy choruses really should put them on the radio and play them untill we hated them, they never were. Hm. I wonder why. And Atomic punk that's between them is more of a ''dangerous'' title then anything. Little dreamer is actually what got my attention, the guitar is perfect and the way it blends with the drums and the bass is perfect and somehow I feel like Davids singing is different on this song. Somehow better then the rest of the album. I don't know maybe I'm imagining things.

Everything about Van Halen is big, and the simple rhythms give David and Eddie room to run free and wild. Have you ever seen a live video? David's strutting up and down the stage? Or the dirty jokes? And there were plenty of those but that's exactly what I love about him, the sass, the flare, he is not A frontman he is THE frontman. These are the songs that changed rock n roll music, they're still fresh and fun today 30 something years later. And this record went Diamond in the US, selling over 10 million copies, while the albums that followed, Van Halen II, Women and children first, Fair warning and Diver down only got, 5,3,2 and 4 times platinum *in the US* until the revolution that is 1984 that also came out in 84' which was Roths last album with the band and it also went straight to Diamond. Amazing album that one.

I give this album a straight 10 out of 10 stars. *guess who has star grading on her blog now?*

It's amazing, I love it from start to finish, if you don't have it, you're missing out, pick it up and give it a chance, I'm willing to risk the name calling if you happen to be disappointed. But you won't be, I promise. And if nothing else at least enjoy the picture in the back. It's one hell of a picture.

P.S. to all my readers in Texas, Florida, Mexico, and anywhere else where something nasty is happening, stay safe and look after one another. 2 huge storms in such short time period, hey Donald, you still think global warming is a hoax? *coughidiotcough*. Be strong guys.

''I found the simple life ain't so simple when I jumped out on that road. I got no love, no love you'd call real ain't got nobody waiting at home.

Runnin' with the devil.''

I feel a fire burning underneath my skin now that I breathe in I breathe you in.

My world's on fire, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

You know that line in one of them Harry Potter movies; ''Everything's going to change now, isn't it?''...

Everything in my life is changing as well and I feel completly overwhelmed. Change is good. Most of the time. Change means you're growing, hopefully going on a better path in your life. Change means leaving behind what hurt you. Change means doing rather then dreaming. But that doesn't make it any less terrifying.

Here's the deal. I am not who I used to be. Not at all. None of my past friends would know who I am today if I'd wrote them down a few simple facts about me. I've grown a lot. I'm no longer a naiive little girl. I'm no longer as broken as I used to be. I think in a different way, I see things open minded, I love differently, I enjoy different things in life. I like different things, I'm interested in different things. I express myself differently, even my art is no longer the same. It's darker then it used to be, because my mind is a darker place then it used to be. But that's okay, rather then fighting demons I learned to accept them. I cuss and drink more but that's fine I never claimed to be an angel. And I am more courageous, doing things I never thought I could, like putting people in their place instead of letting them walk all over me.

I changed because there was a time when I had my entire life planned out, and I learned the hard way that nothing is ever as easy. Things fall apart, plans fall apart, people leave, life changes, your priorities change. And that's alright. I changed to be softer to strangers and I learned to love those I love stronger. I changed and learned to be more realistic, ''And now that you've been broken down. Got your head out of the clouds. You're back down on the ground. And you don't talk so loud. And you don't walk so proud.''.

But here's the deal despite the changes I am not the person I want to be. Not yet at least. And that's alright, there's always space and time to grow, don't say you did or that you are the best you could be, say ''I am the best I could be for now''. Never close the doors to change and growth. Always be open for compassion and empathy and understanding and love. Take a second and be proud of everything you've done so far but never settle. Always strive for more.

Thing is, you will always have worries, you will always have fears, you will always find something to be uncertain about but that is life, it's normal, it happens to all of us. But if you want to live to the fullest and breathe and grow you can't wait till you're no longer afraid. The path to success is never clear, it's never easy. It's hard and it's supposed to be, if it wasn't everyone could do it. I learned that no matter how hard and dark times may get, there's always room for change, there's always room to improve. And here's the deal, I am really scared, these recent changes will literally turn my world upside down, but I am willing to go down this road because I know that in the end it will be worth it.

There are things I can't control and not being able to change those is hell. I am still learning how to make peace with that and let live but maybe I'm not quite there yet. Someday. When you learn how to be comfortable in your own skin, with your own life despite the fear and change and growth and anxiety it gives you, that's when you really learned how to do this thing called life.

And here's something someone way smarter then me once told me, he said if I am still waiting for that one special person that will come along and change my life then I need to take a good long look in the mirror. And he was right, the only one that can make a change in your life is you and you alone.

In that spirit, while scrolling through tumblr earlier I saw something that was literally like a sign that everything will be alright. I was just a bunch of pictures with the following words ''Relax, you will graduate. You will get a job. You will find love. You have an entire life. Things take time. Just enjoy where you are now.'' Amen. I am driving myself crazy over such petty things, instead of enjoying the moment. Living in the moment. Life is too short to be anything but happy.