Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality.

I havent written anything worthy of the title ''blog post'' in such a long time. It's not just that I was busy, it's that I wasn't…feeling like myself you know? How long does it take anyways after a traumatic event, one that just doesn't seem to end, to pick yourself up again? How long till you feel normal again? Sometimes it feels like forever. Like I'll never be ''normal'' again, like parts of me just died with all the people I loved and lost and with all that ''ugly'' people did to me. And I guess I ran out of those ''normal'' parts. Human parts. Maybe some people just can't be saved you know? Or happy. Maybe happiness isn't meant for everyone. Or maybe just isn't meant for me.

Sometimes I don't know what to do, what to think, sometimes life seems too dark and things seem too hard. Sometimes I just don't want to be bothered you know. Gosh I don't know where I'm going with this, I'm not making any sense.

Point is I don't understand humans, I know I say this a lot but these days I really don't. How can one determine how bad a certain situation is to another human being based on their age? I've been through some tough shit in the past and some even more fucked up shit now, and though I'm 20 something that makes no difference, it would be tough on me even if I was 50 something. I don't know anymore. What the hell is the matter with me? Why can't I see the world like other people see it? Why am I so different? Why am I so broken? Why can't I just fall in line and be like everyone else. I know that it's supposed to be a good thing if you're not a sheep, if you don't fit in but stand out, those people usually make a difference on this planet. But hell, it is torture. I just honestly want some love and acceptance.

I don't know where I'm going with this, suppose what I'm trying to say is that despite all the pain and suffering and confusion you gotta accept that life is like art and sometimes things just don't go right and you might not know which way you're going but you have to accept that because only then you can actually move on, evolve and grow. I guess.

I suppose this is enough mumbo jumbo for one post, I best get back to the only thing I'm actually good at which is music. I chose a record that's real close to me this time. A band I grew up with and always loved, also seen live, well…kinda…

Queen plus the amazing Adam Lambert. I always wanted to see the original Queen to be fair. Freddie is Freddie after all, can't be replaced, but hell Adam is the next best thing, he's amazing, he's got a voice of an angel and the moment when he steps to the side and they show Freddie on the big screen. It's just…a moment you can't describe with words. It's amazing that's what it is.

I guess you could say I ''kinda met'' Freddie anyways…

Back to the music, they've got so much good music, and so many albums I love. I literally only own four but I think out of the four this one has to be my favorite. ..

So this album was released in 1981, sometime during the fall, October if I'm not mistaking, of course it was an instant success, number one on UK album chart and 800 ! weeks in the UK charts. It's literally the best selling album of all time in UK having sold over six million copies. I mean woah right? That's just amazing. It's also 8 times platinum in the US and generally Queen's most successful album worldwide given that over 25 million copies were sold which I believe puts it on the list of the best selling albums of all times along with names such as Michael Jackson, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Led Zepp, Guns N' Roses,…

Aparently the track listing and the cover are not the same on all of the continents, instead they were depending on what singles were released where and what songs stayed on the charts. I read in a magazine once that despite the band being so popular some songs were literally filler songs on some of their albums, such as Love of my life and Sweet lady. Can't really say I agree, okay Sweet lady whatever, but I always liked Love of my life for some reason…the song first appeared in 75' on ''A night in the opera'' and I don't know I guess I like the feeling it gives you, when it seems like it's a love song but then you sit down and listen and it's actually about heartbreak. Did you know how wildly popular this song was in South America? Huge crowds singing every word 100% correct which just shows you how strong and amazing music is, how it has the power to connect people together, because those fans mostly didn't speak English and yet, they sang those songs along with the band absolutely perfectly.

I got the European version of the album meaning unlike US it doesn't have ''Under pressure'' with David Bowie on it. Which is kind of a disappointment, I mean that song…woah. Two such amazing vocals, that fit together so perfectly. ''Why can't we give love that one more chance?'' yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Did you know that the critics never likes Queen? That they really dished out some of the nastiest and sometimes homophobic insults? How idiotic isn't it? Such a great band but treated this way? Fine maybe sometimes they knew how to be a bit theatrical and flamboyant but hell it's all in the name of Rock n roll as Nikki would say. Nikki Sixx I mean not me hah. But at the end of the day these guys wrote some of the best hard rocking and energetic songs and hell this album is nothing short of a perfect example of their astounding talent. I mean there's a reason behind why these guys were one of the biggest bands in the world back in the late 70's and early 80's.

Their music was successfull both critically (despite the obvious dislike) and also commercially, I mean their songs are some of the most iconic and influential songs of the time period. Just take a look at Bohemian Rhapsody. I mean that's not a song, that's a SONG. It's so complex and so perfect. The Telegraph once called it ''the song that will cure your illness''. As in it was voted as the best song to listen when you're feeling down. And it's kinda hard to argue specially if you think of Freddie's amazing vocals.

There's always two types of people when it comes to greatest hits albums some saying that this is nothing but a greedy move to get more cash while others love them as a reminder of what made a band great and a means to make sure the band is not taken for granted. I agree with the latter. I like greatest hits albums, I like enjoying the best songs by a certain band all together on one album, though it happens a lot that songs I find best aren't even on the album but still…

This one though…they delivered if we forget about Under pressure for a second you've got Bohemian Rhapsody, We will rock you, Killer Queen which I just LOVE, of course also Another one bites the dust, Crazy little thing called love, Somebody to love and one of my absolute favorites Fat bottomed girls. Freddie is amazing and his stage persona was larger then life (Wembley 1986!) but jesus christ how Adam sings that song? Live? I thought he will end me, the voice, the dance, the sassiness. Jesus take the wheel I am no longer in control kinda thing. He really is all that.

My point, I feel like this album really is a great mix of song styles that creates a varied and great album for literally everyone to enjoy and I think that shows in the number of copies sold. It's a great album for old fans to enjoy and a perfect album for new fans that are just starting to like the band, I think it really captures the band at their best moments in music history and honestly if Dark side of the moon is an album every music lover should own then so is this one.

Speaking of, since I literally have it in all versions now, vinyl, CD and digital (shoot no cassette ha ha) I think I'll go hunt down my iPod and get lost in the music for a bit, I've got some difficult things to deal with in the morning, things I'd rather hide as far away from as I could but what's gotta be done and all that, right? Someone once told me that you always have to pick the path that scares you most because that is the only way you'll grow and I suppose they were right. I suppose it's okay to be scared sometimes as long as you don't let that fear stop you from playing the game you're playing, the life you're living, the things you want. Being brave in the eye of the storm, now that takes real courage and I hope someday when all of this is over, I can walk out of that storm with my head held high and a stronger, better person.

Gallery dates with you my king are my favorite.

''In a room full of art...I'd still stare at you...''

''Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted.''

''Explanation kills art.''

''Art is not what you see but what you make others see.''

I'll never forget our first date, the way you looked, where you took me, how hard you tried to look interested though I know it was so far from things you'd normally care about but you tried your hardest for me. I'll never forget how you looked at me and I'll never forget how you made me feel. And the funny part is, here we are five years later, same place, same date, same feelings. Nothing's changed only maybe that I love you more today then I did on that day five years ago.

''And I caught this feeling that I can't explain, got my heart speeding, every time he says my name, I got a good thing, I got a good thing and I call him baby, I'm seeing blue skies, first time in a long time, right there with his green eyes, looks like the rains gone and he's my rainbow.

I don't know what I did to deserve all of this, he's fine, he's mine, just one kiss from his lips makes me wish that I could stop time, yeah the boys is all mine.''

Is it dark, where you are? Can you count the stars where you are?

''Is it dark, where you are? Can you count the stars where you are? Do you feel like you are a thousand miles from home?

Are you lost, where you are? Can you find your way when you're so far? Do you fear, where you are? A thousand nights alone.

So here we are set into motion, we'll steal a car and crash in the ocean. You and I, caught in a fading light, on the longest night.''

''It's enough, just to find love, it's the only thing to be sure of. So hard, to let go of a thousand times or more. I was close to a fault line, Heaven knows, you showed up in time. Was it real? Now I feel, like I'm never coming down.

So here we are, set into motion, steal a car, crash in the ocean. You and I, caught in a fading light, on the longest night.

I recall when we were together, even now it seems like forever. So alive caught in a fading light, on the longest night.''

Howie Day - Longest Night