Happy Halloween to all my rock'n'rollers, crash queens and motor babies.

''Look alive, Sunshine. 109 in the sky but the pigs won't quit. You're here with me: Dr. Death-Defying. I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter, pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive. A system failure for the masses, antimatter for the master plan, louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny. This one's for all of you rock'n'rollers, all you crash queens and motor babies. Listen up! The future is bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary! It's time to do it now and do it loud! Killjoys, make some noise!''

''Alright, Children, the lights are out and the party's over. It's time for me: Doctor D to start running and say goodbye for a little while, and I know you're gonna miss me, so I'll leave you with this; you know that big ball of radiation we call the sun? Well it'll burst you into flames if you stay in one place too long that is if the static don't get you first. So remember even if you're dusted, you may be gone but out here in the desert your shadow lives on without you. This is Dr. Death Defying, Signing off.''

''If you wake up in the morning, it is a good day''.

Another Monday another book review. Yep book review not album. Gotta change it up now and then. I wasn't that much into reading after high school. I swear those assholes have a god given gift to throw you off reading forever. I still shiver remembering the crap they made us read. So depressing that slitting your wrists open seems like a joyful event. Listen I get literatury geniuses and all that but for fuck sakes not everything should be force fed down kids throats. To be honest if I was a teacher, I wouldn't give two fucks about what you're reading, can be that garbage of 50 shades of (fucked up) grey. I don't care. You're passionate about it? You like it? Good for you. Read that. I don't understand this bullying and opression and forcing kids to read heavy, depressing, difficult books that throw them off reading for a life time. Like, really I don't. 

It took me quite a while to get back into reading as a hobby. I'd say fanfiction played a role in that as well. Lol. Hey some writers are really talented and my SPN family will understand if I only say one thing ''Elvis''. Yeah that one killed me. Over the years though I found literature that I enjoy most. I read heavy books now too. I enjoy crime novels, but honestly romance and fantasy is my favorite genre because let's be honest, real life is a horror story. No need to read about those as well. I am that much of a ''girl'' to like Twilight as dumb as it is. And the Shadowhunter series. I like teen cute books like ''Love, Simon'' and ''Everything, everything''. And I absolutely love Hemingway and Poe. 

Sometimes you have to step out of the comfort zone though, read different books, historical books. Try different stories. You know what they say? Those that read a million books lived a million lives. Some lives I'd rather not live. Not all history is pretty. Actually I suppose most history is not pretty. So for a change I went into this book.

Heather Morris / The Tattooist of Auschwitz

It was a gift. And I found myself really enjoying it. I don't know I guess I'm a sucker for impossible / forbidden love. But only the ones that end up happy. I don't like stories with tragic endings. Same reason as above. This book was on bestseller list for the longest time and slammed for being heavily inauthetic. I mean. Okay. Yes. I see why. I can't imagine many things in the book being legit. I mean perhaps the main character in the story was in fact this lucky. Managed to survive many times where others would be shot on site. Managed to get by rather easily given how most prisoners were actually treated…It seems just a bit…far fetched you know? But if all is true…then all I can say is he had some seriously powerful guardian angel looking after him.

The story says to be ''based on the powerful true story'' of Lale Sokolov. Lale was a Slovakian Jew who was forcibly transported to the concentration camp Birkenau in April 1942. Upon discovering that he speaks several languages and with some help and luck he became the tattooists helper and later the ''Tatowierer''. Imagine that permanently marking fellow prisoners. The tattoo nobody would want and a permanent reminder even years after. Maybe this ''tattooist story'' shocked me a bit more because it's more personal. I had an aunt in Auschwitz, along with her mother and grandmother and chances are high that it was Lale who tattooed them upon arrival. 

The story of Lale is a two and a half years long imprisonment story of someone who witnessed horrific barbarism but also incredible acts of bravery and compassion. The type of compassion that surprised me, I am not used to so much selflesness from humans.  Lale was actually a real hero, he risked his own life using his privileged position as the tattooist to exchange jewels and money other prisoners stole for him for food and medication, which kept prisoners alive. 

I had a pretty good insight in the horrors described in the book since I've actually been to Auschwitz and there are just things you can't unsee and things you can't forget. The entire atmosphere of the place is gloomy, heavy, dark, it hits you full force from the moment you walk under that creepy sign ''Arbeit macht frei''.  And though it was a hot summer day on the day we visited it, the sun did little to uplift the heavy feeling. It was the first time in my life that I was dead silent, or better shocked into silence for good two hours after leaving the place. I don't know if anything shocked me as much as all those shoes, hair, and that god awful gas chamber which had scratches like nail marks on the walls. And call me crazy but I swear you can feel and smell the horror in there. I remember this tree in a museum in Berlin, where you could write something and hang on it. It's a holocaust memorial museum, I remember writing something along the lines of ''May it never happen again'' and hanging it on the tree. Thinking back through these memories makes it even harder for me to understand the Neo Nazi movment today. How could anyone support something like this? Only a real psychopath. 

I suppose the story as dark as the place is. As dark as the era is. As horrible as the thematic is. As disgusting as this part of history is…and as tough as the novel is to read. It's above all a story of hope and a love story. As it says on the picture above ''I tattooed a number on her arm. She tattooed her name on my heart''. Love story of love on first sight. Lale claims to have fallen in love in that first encounter when he tattooed a number on the girls arm. Without knowing who she is, her name, where she came from, any backstory. Only her number. Later on we learn the girls name is Gita, and the novel follows how they fell in love and how they managed to survive. Probably love kept them alive. Maybe the promise of a life after. A happy one. 

There's a thing Lale said that made me really feel stupid ''If you wake up in the morning, it is a good day''.  It puts things into perspective. He managed to remain positive (for the most time) in a death camp and here I am complaining over lockdowns, uneployment and empty bank accounts. Which yes are awful as is but things could be so much worse. We rarely appreciate what we have and me included. I should count my lucky stars daily for the few good things in my life and focus less on the ugly. 

What I loved was that they had no plan, no idea where the other was and yet they met after being released from Auschwitz. Lale waiting on a train station in Bratislava where survivors were sent to for weeks till she came. (Of course marriage, and a happily ever after follows.) How romantic is that? Does that still exist today? That moment, the airport moment, being chased down an airport and begged not to go? Or just have love professed in front of everyone. Still waiting for that. Well…even if it would it couldn't happen now. Or actually come to think of it ever. I am terrified of flying, I'd probably swim to the US if I could. I guess there's a simmilar romantic statement in my life. My boyfriend told my friend the other day that if we argue and I'm angry at him and refuse to talk to him all he does is tightens the lids harder so he knows I'll have to come ask him for help. It's both ridiculous and completely cute. And it made me fall in love a bit more. 

And here I am completely off topic again. Trust me to be able to come from world war to love in a heartbeat. Then again. Love is war.  To sum it up. The book may be flawed, things may not be as accurate as you'd want them, but it's also heart breaking and beautiful and I really enjoyed this venture into different literature. Got about 15 more books on my ''to be read list''. Some classical literature and some fantasy and romance. I'm never sure, are y'all into these or should I stick to music reviews? Well either way, I imagine it's going to be ''business as usual'' in the next post because it's going to be…yes you guessed it. New Bosses album. I'm so excited omg. 

Alright another week of lockdown, I never imagined I'll be saying those words in the first place tbh. Hope you spend it doing something you love, with someone you love. Or like me with a bottle of Jack. Cheers guys. 

I didn't need another version of 2020 to hate but here we are.

It's record release day today! That's right people, Bruce Springsteens ''Letter to you'' comes out today. Well came out today. It's evening here. And though I don't have it yet, (living in a country where tap water and color tv are a bloody miracle) I am beyond excited. Only heard one song and I am completely and totally in love. I know the rest of the record is going to be amazing, though I refuse to listen to it before I hold it in my hands. Internet and streaming completely destroys the pleasure of listening to the record for the first time when you actually get it. I envy everyone in the 80's that had that full effect. Vinyl on, playing an album from start to finish. Fucking amazing. I only listened to the title track ''Letter to you'' and those lyrics you guys, that voice, the emotions which the song is sang in. Holy hell. If the rest of the album is anything like it (and I'm sure it is) it's going to be a fucking masterpiece. Not that he can do a bad album to be honest. Well. I wasn't a big fan of the ''Devils & Dust'' but that's a topic for another day. Make sure you come back for an album review. Soon. To be honest, I already know this, for me, is the only thing that's going to save 2020.

And for now I'll do something I've never done before. I'll write a review on an album I don't actually own. Why? Because I don't plan on buying it, yet I've been asked to share my opinion by a couple of my friends and also readers that are still not fed up with me. Cheers guys, I love you. So here's a few more lines other than just ''I hate it''. Spoiler alert? It's not going to be a nice opinion. It gives me no pleasure to write these lines believe me. It's a band I love, band I always loved, but hell lately? I can't stomach them. Yes we're here again, yes this is about Bon Jovi. Again. And yes I am sobbing over the vinyl I own (Slippery when wet, New Jersey, fucking selftitled album,…), thinking how the fuck did a band that was this good fall this low?

Are y'all following these recent rumors? Richie Sambora actually left because his kid needed him and Jon was a bitch who didn't understand that? Rumors are rumors yes but if there's even a tiny bit of truth in that? That really, really clouds my opinion on the man. And the plagiarism rumors? That would be…a really low hit for a big star. Omg don't even get me started on that recent ''I wish Richie Sambora had his life together'' and that ''inability to put his life together is the reason for ''This house is not for sale'' ''bullshit. Jon you egocentric son of a bitch. Is this some sort of a joke? Does the universe revolve only around you? Like are you trying to be funny? Are you fucking trying to undermine all he accomplished WITHOUT you? Are you trying to make him look like a low class ''has been'' while you're the one who really is turning into a ''has been''? Richie finally looks happy and healthy and more importantly sober. His music still sounds like music, which honestly can't be said for Bon Jovi no more. (Sorry Phil).

It seems to me that people forget that musicians after all are still musicians. And touring 18 plus months must be a nightmare. You know how much ''normal'' life you miss out on? We have this illusion it's all booze, drugs, women and parties, when in reality it's drugs to cope with a pretty lonely existance. It's beyond bizarre to me how come a musician doesn't understand a fellow musician then? Aren't they going through the same struggles? Or hey are your wife and kids that bad that you enjoy being away from them for so long? What? Someone had to ask. Here's the deal Richie knew when it's time to stand back, to take a break, to rethink about his life and career, which is something Bon Jovi should have done years back.

I guess this is on me…I was putting too much faith into this new album, I don't know why, I should know better. ''This house is not for sale'' was already a shitty album. And 2020 being a shitty year, why should an album wearing 2020 as a title be any better? I'm going to borrow a line I read online ''this aint your momma's Bon Jovi'' and it really isn't. Sigh. Long gone are the days of ''New Jersey''. Only thing I can really say is thank fuck that my preorder didn't go through when I wanted the album because that would of been money thrown out the fucking window.

It's not even that much about the voice. Even if all I can say is ''what the fuck is going on Jon?''. Y'all seen the youtube clips right? From the live shows (which I barely remember at this point) It sounds like him, but it doesn't sound like him, I swear I sound better in the shower while waxing my bikini areas. No joke. It's a nightmare. It's hard to listen to. More than my ears it hurts my heart. Seriously. I worry about him, about his voice permanently damaged, about not being able to sing at all at some point. The fuck? Why is everyone sticking their heads in the sand? Why won't someone tell him ''that's it get help''?  have y'all noticed how it all went downhill since Richie left? I'm sorry but like this is not the same band ever since HE walked out. It is what it is. Sometimes it feels like he just stopped trying after Sambora walked out. Stopped trying lyrically wise too. I'm sorry but ''This house is not for sale''? I have a hard time believing that after everything that followed concerning the band. Or am I wrong and the ''house'' aint the band and this was a clever way to tell us he's got a career in realestate? Well fucking get to it then, everything's better than recent music.

As a starter…what the fuck were you thinking calling the album 2020? Seriously. I don't get it. It makes absolutely zero sense. Album was set to be released in May and it was done by then obviously, only Corona held it back untill what 2 or so weeks ago. So during quarantine he wrote two songs that replaced two original songs on the album and thank fuck you guys because these two songs are the only good songs on the record. One about George Floyd, the protests, the black lives movment, a ballad. The other one a ''Corona anthem'' with this country vibe and sound? Perfect. I love everything about it. Music and lyrics, even the voice (when polished on the album) is not so bad. See these two songs, that weren't supposed to be on the album are the only thing that reflect the year 2020 and make the album title have a little sense. The rest? What the fuck?

I listened through the songs on youtube. More like listened to under 30 seconds and pressed skip because it's just hard man. Hard to listen to. Freaking torture. ''American Reckoning'' which is the song about George Floyd and the racist violence in America is a great song. It's actually got this ''Springsteenish vibe'' , kinda reminds me of something you'd hear on Nebraska. It's not too surprising because we all know Jon looks up to him (who doesn't?). The thing is I really like the song, I do, no joke, but it's still, I don't know. It kinda doesn't sound like him, it doesn't sound ''honest''? Maybe that's closest to the emotion I feel. You know when Bon Jovi would write ''Always'' and ''Bed of roses'' and god damn ''I'll be there for you'', we all know they're about his wife, and these are honest, these are beautiful, they're packed with so much emotion, hell you fell in love with his wife too just listening to them and now? While ''American Reckoning'' is beautiful and I'm not going to deny that there are emotions in this song you can hear them, it feels sorta forced to me. Feels like trying to make a statement. Feels like wanting to be a stadium band when you're barely fit to fill up a bar. Am I making sense?  Something is not right. The song with the potential to pull at your heart strings, passes through as background noise.

The thing is that lyrically most of 2020 is great. I read through the lyrics not listen to them because that's just impossible. The lyrics are political, they paint a picture of so many things going on in the past couple of years, not just 2020 (except Limitless, jesus christ how many fucking times can you repeat limitless in one song, feels like a broken record to me at some point), but the problem is you can't listen to it. You just can't. I could just about understand that they went for this ''whiny'' type of music so the lyrics are more prominent ….but like…? No thank you. I can't. All I keep thinking about is the vibe and the feeling this album gives me. You know when Tommy and Gina were young ''living on a prayer'', living on love and life and promise. Everything was okay then and now? This album is the worst ending to that illusion. Tommy and Gina grew up. Their dreams died a painful death and all there's left is pain and sadness and tragedy that this album illustrates. And I'll be damned if I stay around for it. Sometimes holding on to some dreams, some fake illusions is much better. Happier.

Jon when talking about retirement said something along the lines ''no one loved the fat Elvis'', I'd punch his smug face for that. ''Fat'' Elvis could still sing. So this ''mockery''? Ridiculous. You're over there howling like a wounded moose making fun of Elvis? It's time. Time to retire. I'm not stuck in the 80's I'm all about experimenting and growth. I LOVED Springsteens ''Western stars'' that was completely different. But this is not growth, this is not experiment, and it's not trying out different things…this is just…a hot mess. Sometimes you don't go about fixing what doesn't need to be fixed. A good rock album was all that was needed, nobody asked for a wanna be pop rock fake ''uplifting'' bullshit, and in the end it's not uplifting at all but depressing and to be honest, I don't think anyone can handle any more depression in this already fucked up year.

And lastly…y'all are aware that aside from Bon Jovi there's also Jon's solo projects? So giving a Bon Jovi album the cover that he did with 2020…his fucking face like he's Blake Shelton or some shit like that and the band just happens to be there, bystanders, completely forgotten, same with the music video ''Do what you can'', where the hell is the band?…doesn't that speak, no actually doesn't that shout volumes of where his head is at?

Here's the deal Jon was worried about the tone of the album, receiving critisism because it's too political. Listen to me, political is good, the lyrics are good, it's everything else that's shit. I wonder how the rest of the band feels about this music. Not that I will find out, they feel like hired help at this point anyways.

That's that, it's like I said, I don't like it, I can't stomach it, I wont buy it, I won't listen to it. Now excuse me while I play a couple of videos from concerts, especially the one in Milano and cry. First of because I pretty much forgot what a concert is (fukn se na tilnik korona) and second because that thing in Milano, that, THAT was an out of body experience, just thinking about it makes me shiver all over. It's like ''sex is great you guys but have you seen Bon Jovi in Milano?''. It was the best Bon Jovi concert and honestly? I feel blessed that I saw it. I feel blessed that despite never going to a show again (I refuse to) at least this perfect memory remains. A memory in which, life was perfect and so were Bon Jovi.  

P.S. Chances are slim to none, but Jon, should you ever read this, I apologize for the rude words, name calling, swearing but not album opinion and please for the love of everything holy get your shit together because I don't really like a world in which I hate one of my favorite bands.

Jaz nimam noč za spanje ponoči se znorim, ne maram le sanjati jaz sanje rad živim.

I guess I never said, but those of you who know me better than just from these posts know that I despise Facebook. Like honest to god hate it. It's became a pool of negativity, people moaning and bitching and complaining on it all day. So much hate, so much anger,..ridiculous. I recently found out another reason to ''fuel the flames of my fury''. I mean, I suppose it's not a recent thing. It's recent to me because I barely use my profile these days. The thing is there's a ''memory'' option now that allows you to scroll through posts on the day through the years. Now I've been a member of Facebook for a damn long time, and a pretty active member in the early days, so you can imagine that there's a shit ton of highly cringe worthy posts. But what really set me off was the fact that it was my birthday last week which I spent pretty much channeling my inner Bridget Jones. Cake and wine on the sofa, bitching about how last year I was celebrating at a Cher concert. Fuck you Corona. Anyways, scrolling through posts on my birthday, those ''memories'' posts? God good that was a stab to the heart. Messages from people that are no longer in my life, people that are long gone. Friendships that didn't work out…it sucks. So thank you Facebook for this ''brilliant'' idea. Can't wait for more memories I most definatelly DON'T want to see.

So instead of more complaints…I decided that sometimes you gotta write about things you know best. Well, actually, I had quite some issues writing about my own country the other day. I suppose knowing it well and looking at it differently makes it hard to really decide what to write about to make it interesting to other people. There's 50 plus pages I could write on my favourite towns in this country alone, so narrowing it down? Or even deciding which photo to post…yeah that's hard.

But this post shouldn't be. It's about my favorite Slovenian band. And though we have / had quite a number of amazing bands (especially in former Yugoslavia where there was pretty much nothing but rock bands) this one will always remain my favorite band. Plenty of reasons for that but I suppose the strongest one being that they are just badass.

''Šank rock''. The word ''Šank'' translates to ''bar''. Poetic isn't it? What do you need when you're leaning against a bar drinking a nice cold beer? Rock of course. Brilliant name to be honest. Easy, funny, cool. I wrote a bit about them before when rambling about their shows and ''my favorite boys'' but honestly I'm too lazy to check back what I wrote so if some facts repeat I apologise. Else, learn it, live it, love it right?

Now the band formed in 1982 and just looking at them would give you an idea right away why I'm obsessed. You know, leather, Harley shirts, long hair. Though this was in the 90's but… ( click me )

...you get the idea right? Hah. some things just never change. Rock ballads and singers with pretty long hair and I'm dead. While we're at it, I said it before and I'll say it again 2020 sucks so if you need me I'ma head back to the 80's if that's okay with all y'all. All the music! All the musicians! The high waisted jeans and short leather jackets with big hair. Ah! Paradise right there. Young Axl Rose, Sebastian Bach, Jani Lane, Richie freakin Sambora? I'd be a band whore we all know it. Lol. God knows why he put me on this earth 10 years later.

Ok so the band formed in 1982 as I said in a town few km away from me. A town I actually despise and always say that they are the only highlight in it, which believe me is true. First album with the original lineup titled ''Pridite na žur'' (the cover makes me crack up everytime I see it. The hair, the clothes, lol) was released in 1987 soon after they got a manager who was a musician himself. Don't you think that that is how it should be? Only actual musicans or say ex musicians should be managers? Because like there's so much exploitation and abuse of musicians by their managers it's ridiculous. So people who understand them should be the ones to manage them. People that care about music above money. Yeah I'm a dreamer I get it but it sure as hell would be nice.

Anyways with the manager the band really took of, they had a huge media breakthrough and were suddenly famous all over Slovenia while playing mostly down at the sea side. No surprise there, if I was a musician so would I. The nicest places in this country as I said are down by the sea. Is this a good time to say I miss it terribly? Not the band, sea side. Well the band obviously too, no concerts a year is worse than a death sentence for me believe me, but atm I meant sea side. The salty air, sunny skies, nicer people…sigh.

I keep getting sorta carried away, hard to stay on topic. After 1988 when first lineup changes happened and two members left, the band did two more albums ''Dobro in zlo'' which translates to ''good and evil''. I suppose I best shut up right now else I'd have a ''couple'' of things to say on that topic.  In 1990 the third album came out ''Jaz nimam noč za spanje'' / ''my nights are not for sleeping'' I guess, close enough, hard phrase to translate. It's my favourite album in my own language by far. BY FAR. All of the songs are great, all of the music is great, the picture on the back is bitchin. I love everything about it.

In 1991 they decided to replace their guitarist and brought cough my baby cough Bor Zuljan to the band. OH MY GOD you guys he is amazing. I keep saying he could chew an apple with one hand and play with the other.  Or in a naughtier version he could play with one hand and choke you with the other hah. Seriously the man is amazing, he has a god given gift. All other band member changes aside, they actually made an album in the USA back in 1995 called ''Shut up and play'' and there were some disagreements about whether they will stay in USA to continiue their career or go back home. Thank fuck they came back just saying because our music scene sucks enough on it's own without losing literally the best band we have.

It's kinda driving me mad you know. This illusion and drive and obsession with USA. Okay if you're a musician in my country and get the chance take it but say, Finish rockers? What's the point in recording in America that's already over flowing with music? Finland it literally the best country for rock and metal scene and you wanna go to US and create generic mainstreem music? Kill all your originality? Now that I just don't understand. I guess I should go see LA for myself and see what's so fascinating about it. Though I doubt I'd like it. I'm just a small town girl, pretty sure I'd be far more fascinated by the small towns down south. But never mind that back to the band.

Band broke up twice, once in 1998 and once in 2011, then in 2014 they played an ''exclusive show'' on the local festival (yearly event and I am still moping because we didn't have it this july. Fuck you corona), it was supposed to be a one time thing but thank god they decided to continiue their work together because it resulted in an album called ''Restart'' Brilliant aint it? And also my second favourite album titled ''Nekaj več'' (something more) in 2017. That album had the best tour. I saw ''a couple'' concerts and each one was too perfect for words. Wait a second, I just counted past members, literally ten of them. Lol. That's kinda crazy.

This album was recorded in ''Studio Tivoli'' in Ljubljana, which was founded in 1973, it moved some time ago into a smaller location but today it's a studio with 40 plus years of experience and it produced some many albums we love. I think it actually may be the oldest studio on this side of Europe. Thing I read that somewhere. Gosh imagine being the owner of that. The studio written down on the biggest names in music business. Or just records everyone loves. Hell. Must be amazing.

Some of the songs on this album are literally songs you can't listen to online. As incredible as it sounds but they're not on youtube. How crazy is that? Like is there anything that is not on youtube? Clearly these songs.

You can however find the three of my faves ''Le 17'', ''Jaz nimam noč za spanje'' and ''Vse je odšlo''. Le 17 of ''Just 17'' is perfect. Funny lyrics, great guitars, amazing voice and you just have to love it live. Obviously everything is better live but this one really is because the band sounds better live and they're rather ''playful'', teasing eachother, they're funny, adorable and not to mention talented af of course.

''Jaz nimam noč za spanje'' the title track of this album is just beyond badass. It's my jam you guys, the song I love most in this language. Well okay there are some I like more but this one is a solid top five fave. I love the lyrics about the lifestyle that would kill me, same days at work everyday, running home after it to catch the evening news, ''slave of life'' during the day and letting lose during the night. Washing the day off with a bottle of beer, turning the music up and turning the bullshit (politics and news in general these days) down.  Yeah okay we weren't doing much letting lose these days and we'll be doing even less of that in the following weeks if we're to believe the dark ominus things our government is saying these days. The news literally sounds like that final transmission in MCR's music videos (dramatic eyeroll). But point was, this is the song I love to scream along to most on their live shows and thank fuck they play it each time. So when it comes on, you know where I'll be. Front row, screaming along, hair flipping about hah.

I'm so used to seeing them at least once a year. Or twice…or like 10 times. Move along okay, true love is true love. it's been hell this 2020 I tell you. I keep saying and I'll say it again, I don't know how people live, without concerts, without culture, without events, because I swear on all the gods I'm about to jump out of my skin. Everything and everyone annoys me at this point. Like, I gave up on that dream of seeing My Chemical Romance next year in July or Guns N' Roses again, but I actually bought tickets to see Steel Panther. Small show in a club, which maybe, possibly could go through and I swear if anyone or anything fucks that up for me this entire city will burn. Assuming the show goes through though, still means that my first concert since last October will be in June next year…and I will die before that comes along. So y'all, pray for me. Thank you.