Just like every night has it's dawn.

Aparently I'm a sadist. That's the only real reason behind why the hell am I walking down memory lane right now, reading old blog posts. I'm all for that, history should never be forgotten crap but some things I honestly wish I didn't remember. Here's a part of a post written 5 years ago…

''I hate this summer, quite possible the worst summer of my entire life, someone please make it end and make it end quick. You know what my problem is? I either feel too much or nothing at all. But lately I just feel empty, I just feel pain all over, emotional pain so deep that I feel like my bones are being split apart. And it just wont go away. And you know what I also hate? Spoiled bratty kids that take life and money for granted and bitch about their parents not letting them go some place, or bitch about having to go on vacation with their parents like oh my god be happy you can go, be happy you have a good family, be happy that your life isn't a complete fucking mess. We are not all that lucky. And you know what I hate most? People telling me to stop being sad like are you kidding me? You have no fucking idea what it feels like to be crushed and broken and feeling like this. You have no idea what's it like when your world shatters like one of them fancy fucking mimosa glasses you sip from on your yacht at 9 in the morning with your dumb privileged friends. And I hate being told to just be happier to shake it off to get it together. As if I'd want to feel this way if I'd have a switch to turn. I am not looking for attention. I just really hate people, they are the worst kind of animals out there, they hurt you, kick you when you're down, abuse you and tell you they love you just to destroy you all ove again. I am sick of the fake smiles and pretending. Don't with people that bring me nothing but heartache. Done with fake friends and so fucking done with feeling like this.''

You know I remember saying to myself at that point ''enough is enough'' and that I am never ever going down that road or feeling that way again? Little did I know that things will only get worse. Life will only get harder. I will only feel more hopless and lost and alone.

Which brings us back to why my music is so important to me, at times I feel like it literally is the only thing I have left. I look at the ruins, the mess that was once my life, think of the times when I had literally everything and I was happy and I look at it now. Music is the only real thing I got left.

And sometimes the weirdest and most unlogical music is what makes me feel better which is why today, in the middle of this unbearably hot night I'm listening to this play, a bit too loud may I add but who cares all the windows are bolted down because the air outside is impossibly hot and humid…

I'm just gonna stick with this one picture today. The others are blurry, it's starting to show that my camera is getting old. Laptop, printer, camera…is there any other machinery that I own that wants to give me crap lately? Ugh.

So this album that came out in 1988 is on the Rolling stones chart of ''50 greatest hair metal albums of all times'' should I btw worry because I seem to own an alarming number of albums from that list? Hah. Once a hair metal fan always a hair metal fan.

This cover is censored as you probably all know. I know the 80's were a different time and all that but can I just say how stupid I find it? I mean if you look at ''singers'' these days, naked on their covers, twerking in underwear on mtv and then this is somehow offensive? I missed the memo on why that's the case gotta say. I found the original cover really cool. Honestly at the end of the day it's more strange then it is sexy or satanic or whatever the issue was. I mean have you ever seen the original cover of Scorpions Virgin killer? I mean it's censored too but literally can't compare the two. Though you can imagine who complained right? ''church and parental groups''. They're the worst I tell you.

This album produced their biggest hits like ''Nothin' but a good time'', ''Fallen angel'', ''Your mama don't dance'' and of course ''Every rose has it's thorn''. And me being the complete cliche of course love this songs most. Fallen angel? Totally my jam. I had the privilege to have a band play it for me this year, at a festival, with quite a lot of people, should I point out that the singer fucked up a line because he was too busy staring and laughing at me going insane side stage? He said he'll ask me on stage with him next time. Ha, sorry sugar there will be no next time. In front of that many people? I think not.

The album was number two on US Billboard 200 and also certified 5 times platinum in 1991, once in 1988 and also 4 times platinum in Canada. Europe didn't know good music then it would appear.

Some fun facts about my favorite song ''Every rose has it's thorn'' (like for real I'm obsessed) allegedly Bret wrote this song as a response to a failed love affair with a LA stripper. A striper he thought will never cheat on him but then one night they played in Dallas and after the show he calls her home and hears she's not alone, so there you go another amazing song a result of heartbreak. All he needed besides feeling like that was an acoustic guitar and a laundromat.

You just know this is going to be a good one as soon as you put it in and that first few notes of ''Love on the rocks'' play, the hair metal bluesy kinda intro that makes an amazing opener and that steady beat from Rikki…amazing.

Then you got ''Nothin' but a good time'' a favorite to so many movie soundtracks, and radio – tv stations even today. I can only imagine what it was like back then, back when Mtv played music not bullshit, remember this kids, Mtv used to be cool. God I'm old. Nothin' but a good time was the first single released of the album and it was taken as one of the best party songs of the decade, specially for everyone that had a job they hated and just wanted to have fun. I hear ya guys I hear ya.

I was surprised when I first listened to ''Good love'', the harmonica? Bret kills it no doubt but it's not very common for a hair metal band is it? He sings softer in this song and his voice really comes through in it. Did I mention lately that I just love his voice? About as much as I love his face really. Hah.

''Look but you can't touch''? haha I love it, really I do. Typical dumb song, sexual lyrics, everything you'd expect from a hair or should I say glam metal band at the time. Glam metal makes me laugh because I just remember Duff saying he can't wear specific clothes because ''we can't go out there looking like fucking Poison''. Haha.

The album closes with ''Bad to be good'' kinda has this odd vibe at the begining and only later gets that sound we are used to and expect from Poison. It's also one of the longest songs on the album, I like it but to be fair if anything it's a bit of a let down, no big finish, grand finale type thing, the song just…ends.

So given the fact that this record is celebrating 30 years this year, seriously what the fuck? Hah. They reissued it on a 180 gram vinyl and in red and a 1000 limited edition green vinyl, can you hear me scream? I want it bad. Hah yes yes I might as well forget about it I know, hey a girl can dream. The exciting part is that the reissue has the original uncensored cover art, the way it should be all along.

Anyways this is a great album I loved it the first time I heard it and I still love it now. And it's totally my go to album when I need something to cheer me up, or need a party song, or even need a song to cry to. A friend of mine once told me that this is an album that instantly satisfies all his rock n roll needs and despite the fact that there's albums out there that I love way more, I have to agree.