Thunder road

It's been a while since I wrote about the love of my life. I know you're about sick of him at this point but then, do I really care? About as much as I care about people complaining over black background and moving pictures at the side.

It's barely Monday morning and I am already done with this week. Not feeling so great, dealing with people that make you want to tear all your hair out, sigh, it's been a lot of crap lately. So instead of moping about it I decided to put on an album, by my favorite guy and just tell the world to fuck off. Like All time low sing ''paint the walls black and scream fuck the world cuz it's my life...'' or something along those lines. Though to be honest I haven't felt like it's my life in a while. Everyone else is running it these days but me.

So the album is meant as a book companion. I was over the moon when getting it because one of my favorite songs is on ''The River'' and you don't want to see the actual condition of my The River album or the scrapes on it. Severly overplayed. Like, it's been through a couple of storms okay, it's got some history, but I love it just the way it is. Even if I had to scrape my mom's ex boyfriends name off Bruce's Cheek. What kinda animal writes their name on record sleeves in the first place? Or let me phrase that better, what kinda animal signs their name over the entire face of the musician instead of putting it in a corner or some shit?

So the book, I read it of course, twice, once in English and then later the translated version too. But my favorite is actually an audio book. I know I know, I keep saying that those are no books but honestly, the audio book is read by the Boss himself so excuse me if I'm enjoying it a bit too much. That voice! I am done for. Very calming if you're stressed and can't sleep. It's hogging a huge portion of space on my iPod but you know what the hell, it's worth it.

I loved the book from the first moment I picked it up. Of course not just because of the previously unseen pictures (given that my family always asks me how can I be reading a book with no pictures, ha ha, very funny guys) but also because there's something so relatable in it. Bruce's fight with depression, an on going battle really, and the effect that music has had on him. Bruce described his depression with “My depression was spewing like an oil spill over the beautiful turquoise green gulf of my carefully planned existence,” and that was a really brilliant way to put it, it really does feel something like that. That was back in the 80's and given how these stories end up these days we can only thank god for his very blunt manager, Jon Landau who without sugarcoating told him that he needs professional help.

Random but did you know he actually hates the name ''Boss''? I always found it amazing, I mean just look at it, how many musicians out there are called ''the boss'' or have as much influence and respect as he does? Or can write song lyrics that are basically a movie script on it's own? Or even preform for up to 4 hours per night? Probably not that many huh.

I've been gritting my teeth with jealousy these days watching him on Broadway (nevermind how badly I'd want to see Bruce Springsteen on Broadway live but the fact that it's in New York aside fucking tickets go from 851 to 2039 euros on a local web site? What the fuck?) meeting fans after the show, taking pictures, hugging them, talking to them. Must be an amazing feeling no? I'd give just about anything to meet him even if for just a minute. Given that I wouldn't completly choke up or make a complete idiot of myself.

There's another quote on depression he writes about, well there's plenty of them really but there's a few that stuck out to me, he is writing about a road trip with a friend, stopping at a small town fair, when, “From nowhere, a despair overcomes me; I feel an envy of these men and women and their late summer ritual, the small pleasures that bind them and this town together. Now, for all I know these folks may hate this one-dog dump and each other’s guts and be screwing one another’s husbands and wives like rabbits. Why wouldn’t they? But right now, all I can think of is that I want to be amongst them, of them, and I can’t. I can only watch.”. So relatable, I find myself watching people, people I know nothing about, people that seem to have it all and seem happiest they could be and I feel despair because I know that will never be me. That will never be my life.

And it's just like he said, for all I know they can be the most miserable sons of bitches on this planet but it's the outer facade that's appealing. It's the idea. And it's knowing that you can never be a part of it.

Depression still breathes down his neck though, just as it is on the rest of us. I wonder are you ever completly free of it? Completly cured? Point is, it's music that helps him. Here's where we connect most, his biggest cure it's preforming, my biggest cure is listening to him.

So this album...mostly old songs we all know but it also contains five previously unreleased songs. You can actually see it, first two albums he put out were more young, had this teenage wibe to them, where on ''Born to run'' you can see him growing up and getting further away from teenage topics. Just as Thunder road sings ''Maybe we aint that young anymore''. Did you know I always wanted a tattoo saying ''Thunder road''? I never got it because I'd like it to be in his handwriting and since I never met him I never got the chance to ask him for it. Maybe someday. This album though as a companion album to Springsteen’s autobiography, Born to Run, had each song handpicked by The Boss himself to represent a different theme or part of the book. Which if you ask me makes Chapter and Verse a bit different them The essential Bruce Springsteen. It's simple to follow the story here too, ''My fathers house'' clearly a song about his difficult relationship with his father which covers A LOT of pages in the book and the happier song ''Living proof'' which makes it clear that his bond with his children will be (and it is) completly different. The rest are more career wise and not so personal but then the line between personal and his music is quite blurred since his songs are very personal.

I guess from ''Born to run'' on music got serious, he sang about politics, war, ''men with death in their eyes'', injustice on this planet, life in general. He's not just a musician he's a poet. A genius. This album represents just that. Not only him as the genius that he is but also his growth as a songwriter as well as an musician from basically a rebelious teen to an adult. I suppose the new five songs make sense you know. It's logical why he never felt the need before to share them, they feel somehow like an experiemt of a sorts. Like Bruce trying out different leather jackets and seeing which one fits best. And of course ''He's guilty'' is a song by his first band called Steel Mill. Would you believe that up untill as recent as reading the book I had no idea there was another band? Shame on me.

It's not that my mind was blown or anything while listening to these songs. I mean they are great no question there but they aren't listening to ''Big guns'' for the first time. Yes my go to reference, because putting on that Skid Row selftitled album for the first time my mind was blown away. I was done for, love on the first note. I was though however really shocked (in a good way) by the song ''Ballad of Jesse James'' that one was woah! Firstly the line ''Don't you wanna be an outlaw, children?'' hah a line worthy of tattooing on my ass right under another musicians name that's already there, don't ask, it really is a dumb story. But also the song is great the way he referenced Jesse James, he knew he's going to be big someday not to mention this song is the closest fitting jacket if you know what I mean. Guitars sound more like they do on Darkness at the edge of town (which I still don't have wtf?).

So the album could really be called a compilation, that is as well as a compilation of songs as is a compilation of events past to present an overview of the Bosses life. Od course if you own ''Growing up'', ''My fathers house'', and ''Wrecking ball'' (honestly most of us big fans do, don't bother asking how many CD's I own, too many, only missing more of his work on vinyl) you pretty much have this entire album.

The only difference here is of course that if you want to find out if the album actually represents what is supposed to be the story of one of the greatest songwriters ever then you'll actually have to read the book. Hah. Bruce you smart devil. Though, I know my opinion is biased being slightly in love with the man and his work, I can tell you the book is one of the best autobiographies I've read and I've read plenty of them. One of which I enjoyed so much was also Sebastian Bach's, jeesh that man used to be all kinds of crazy. Gotta love him though. The chapter on Moscow peace festival? Yeah that one was great. Or him getting stoned with Lars Ulrich and forgetting to meet his grandmother that comes to pick him up then at Lars' house. Histerical. Bosses book isn't funny like that but it's honest and emotional and raw and it makes you understand the man behind the music that much more.

And who knows maybe you learn to love him at least 20% as much as me. Enjoy the rest of your week guys, hope it's better then mine is turning out to be. Here's a piece of my art from 2 years ago. Lord knows lately I haven't been able to put a decent drawing together, so enjoy this one instead.

P.S. How amazing are those inner sleeve pics? I want them ALL on posters. Hah.