You still make my crazy little heart go boom.

I faintly remember saying I won't actually get into reviews of each album by this band. Mainly because they're CD's and mainly because this could mean five very long posts but I figured what the hell. I love them so why not. Starting with the lastest album and working my way towards the first one. Possibly.We'll see, might just be this one post.

It's pretty much impossible for me to define my music tastes. Do I love metal, classic rock, hard rock, heavy metal, country, pop,…a bit of everything I'd say. Maybe some genres prevail but really even that dependes on so many factors. But I think it's safe to say that pop punk and punk rock are a big thing in my house. Green day, Blink 182, All time low, Neck deep, (tons more), all my boys and I love their music so much. So this band this post is about is just the same fun pop punk band that I grew up with. Looking back it's crazy how much they've shaped my life, helped me grow, feel less alone and understand certain things. It's crazy to think how music really does save lives.

Simple plan is one of those bands that writes lyrics that ''kids'' like I can really relate to. And you know what? It feels SO nice being understood. When nobody else does, the music will right?

First time I saw them live was eight years ago and saying I didn't cry the entire show would be lying. It was a big deal for me, I had a hotel booked in Vienna, stayed there for like a week. Not stalking the band mind you (though I should) but just having some fun, seeing the museums,…life used to be good no? Anyways, seeing them for that first time, I was so nervous that in that hotel room I put my clothes inside out, used nailpolish instead of eyeliner remover and probably painted more of my fingers than nails. Seems silly now, but that was something for me. I was eighteen at the time and was about to see the band I basically listened to since I was like nine.

I also made some friends because of them, met them while waiting in front of the venue. Such nice people. Just proof that ''Astronauts'' really are super nice. I never made it to the meet and greet though and y'all are gonna laugh now but really I don't have the balls to go. I know, I know. Believe me I know it's insane but honest to god I am dead scared of making a fucking idiot out of myself. Lol. They're just people yeah, really nice and sweet people that is, but like, put me in a room with my heroes and I choke. This is the same situation as it would be if I'd ever stood in front of Gerard Way. My god. I think I'd forgot any and all languages besides pig squeel. Ugh. How can I tell a certain super star actor that he's a dick (It was totally by accident I'm still super sorry about that) but can't face my favourite musicians? I keep telling myself next time, next time, and honestly, next concert will be my fourth one (when and if it happens) and I think it's about time to get over my fear no?

Alright the album.  Did I mention I have a signed copy which means their finger prints are all over and oh my god? Like literally, they touched it! (ignore the crazy fangirl). I was beyond upset when the new album didn't come to our dumb country, which gets about as much new stuff as a priest sees *****. Which should be zero but I think we know how things work right? Anyways, I decided to wait before ordering online if only, maybe, perhaps our stores get it by accident. They never did, but boy am I glad I waited because then I got my own copy at their last concert I saw. And did I mention that it's SIGNED! And that this was also the show at which I got David's guitar pick? Like literally stage used guitar pick, which HE himself threw off stage. You guys, that's gotta be one of my most prized possesions. The merch guy selling them at the gig tho ''oh cool you want a CD? They come signed by the band you know'' and I'm just like ''I do, I got instagram''. Stalker much? Lol.

I loved this band way back in the day when MTV used to be good. Yes kids I am old and yes MTV used to be good. You know it played Motley Crue, Skid Row, Guns N' Roses and Warrant like all the time? And now it plays crap like Billie whatever she is and things that are a disgrace for music, like Justin Bieber but lets not go there right now.

I think SP are really the band that got me into this whole pop punk scene, I didn't listen to much of it before them. Green day only. But them working and playing with different bands really got me into it much more.  And they've been a constant in my life. My solid ground if you will. People come and go, friendships and families fall apart, things change like a god damn wheel of fortune is turning but this band has been there for me through thick and thin making me feel better, less alone and mostly less anxious.

Seeing them for the second and third time was just as special. People say ''oh but you've seen the band already, why go again?''. Uhm, because I love their music? Because they make new music? Because no show is really the same? Second time I drove to Vienna on the day of the concert and there was an accident on the road making us late and if you think I didn't lose it with nerves you're wrong. I thought I'd jump out of the car and ran to the venue. I'd be totally capable of it too. Seriously I was a wreck the second time too, crying before the show even started. Got to meet the singer of the support band though. That was great. We took some pictures, talked a bit, he gave me their CD. Which actually somehow brings us back to the meet and greet, a friend of mine went, we talked after the show how it was. The hugging?! I honestly think I'd pass out, why must they be so charming and adorable and love hugging fans? Ugh.

I'm sorry but you guys on the second show, there's a break in the songs where Pierre always asks ''is anyone here from Canada?'' and like a bunch of other countries, random, European. And on my second concert he actually asked ''who here is from Slovenia?'' if you think that didn't give me a full blown cardiac arrest you are wrong. Really wrong. And possibly the best part of the show was locking eyes with David and having him smile right at me. Actually, how am I even alive today? By all natures laws I should be dead.

Alright I suppose I need to dial it way back down and write some words about the album. It's super catchy and fun that's obviously a no brainer. First song on this album is called ''Opinion overload'' and it's a strong track with a lot of heavy guitar parts. The song is heavier than what we've been used to from the band and quite literally it's a big huge fuck you to anybody who tries to tell you what to do, what to think, who to be. It's a very loud, catchy song, with a statement and it makes you excited for the rest of the album, I can't imagine a better opening song. Not just theirs but in general. I believe it was actually born out of rage towards critics, who never liked Simple plan much. I mean, I did say several times that critics are fucking assholes didn't I?

Songs such as ''Boom!'' (did y'all see the music video? It features so many of my favourites!), ''Nostalgic'', ''P.S. I hate you'', ''Kiss me like nobody'' is watching (we all have someone to who we'd like to dedicate both of these last two songs to don't we? Actually, sadly I have more people for that second to last one but alright), they are total Warped tour or for us Europeans summer festival anthems, and if you turn it up loud and close your eyes, it's like being smack in the middle of one of them, instead of stuck in the cold boring EU. These songs have this fun vibe and fast punk tempo while still remaining just pop rock enough to be a perfect blend for a break from heavier music.

''Singing in the rain'' feels a bit out of place but it's a great song none the less and I LOVED the video. And you know which video I also LOVED? ''I don't wanna go to bed''. Oh my god is that one fun or what? The song is catchy, makes me look at David and think ''yeah well I'd rather go to bed with you than alone too but here we are in a matching onesie with my cat, eating Nutella with a spoon and watching a movie about Ted Bundy'' don't judge me. Anyways the video is a parody to Baywatch. Y'all know Baywatch right? Or am I really THAT old? Lol. I loved the whole slow running, the lifeguard thing they got going on and the best, literally the best part is the ending where David Hasselhoff goes ''my god this is going to be huge in Germany''. Hilarious.

Another song with a great vibe is ''I don't wanna be sad''. Because it's just an anthem to actually deciding to take your life into your hands. It says it like it is. Yeah life sucks sometimes, and yeah there will be bad days but fuck those bad days, don't let them get you down. And that is such an important trait to have. To know life can get messy but to also know it can be amazing. The song is fun and cheery it just sort of fills you with positive energy and makes you feel like ''hell, maybe everything will be alright after all''. This song just like the ones mentioned above tie together themes of love, positive vibes, not giving a flying fuck about unwanted opinions or advice (or critics) and I believe they have this nice flow to them, they flow nicely through the entire album.

''Everything sucks'' and ''I refuse'' are two more fast paced songs, with a slight pop vibe but still heavy and fast enough for punk rock fans to enjoy. And also both with a great message. Everything does suck when that someone you love isn't around right?  And ''I refuse'' is brilliant in it's own because hell I refuse things written in this song too. I refuse to be told how to live, I refuse to live by other peoples rules, I refuse to live under a certain dictature,''I refuse to apologise for who I am and I refuse to ever let somebody say I can't'', I refuse all of it. And this song gets it. They get it. The message, the life, the point of it all.

Then there's the ballads. First one is ''Perfectly perfect''. Which I gotta say I was kinda hoping is a word play to their big hit single ''Perfect''. That would be amazing don't you think? The way All time low reference their old verses in their new songs. Anyways, it's not like that, it's a love song which is just equally amazing and the official video made me sob bullets I am not even lying. It's beautiful, and maybe a little overlooked. I am telling you if any man played this song to me I am his forever. It's touching, heartfelt, and you can feel the love not just the love which the song is about but the love that was put into creating it.

Then you got ''Problem child'' which is closest to continiung the themes from ''Perfect''. The band still isn't over their childhood problems it seems and they're still sort of struggling with certain topics conected to their families. Trust me I can relate. There's no other force as strong to either lift you up or bury you, like your family can do. The song is very melodic and very different. Just as the last song is ''I dream about you''. I gotta tell you it's not my favourite at all and I tend to turn the CD off before the last song starts. Why? Simple reason. It's a duet with Juliet Simms and quite honestly I can't stand her, not her entire persona or her voice. And I just imagine how much better this song would be with Cassadee Pope even if Pierres and Juliets voice actually function okay with each other. Y'all I'm sorry if you're fans of Juliet but this is just my opinion. Else the song is just very different from everything they ever did and different in a good way, it's slow, it's gentle, melodic, goose bumps worthy song.

Generally this is an album you'd expect these boys to put out with a tiny bit of surprise added to the mix. I'm torn between loving that and wishing a change. I don't know. A good thing that works shouldn't be replaced right? But at what point do you crave a change? I don't know really. But point is this albums is amazing just like all the rest are and worth it's space on your shelf or iPod. It's actually the album I love most, they show how they love eachother as brothers on it, they are a ''team'' and knowing all this could be taken from me, us, makes me love it that much more. They had their issues but they struggled through the storm and came out as fucking winners and I love them so much. At this point I'd like to finish up this post by saying how proud I am of David, he had his demons but he worked through them and came out stronger in the end and it just really fills me with some sort of warmth and positive feeling when I see him smile these days.

P.S. Is it creepy that I know who's who by looking at their butts?

Roses are red, chocolates are brown, you're getting neither, so calm the fuck down.

''Everybody raise your glass, pick it up and throw it back, grab ahold of your honey…

And everybody get a little lovin', a little touchin', a little kissin' and a huggin', do a little lovin', a touchin', a little kissin' and a huggin'.''

- Kip Moore / Wild Ones

How are we feeling today guys? On this lovely consumer driven and trivial interpretation of love day.

I think if I scroll back through the years of my blogging experience, there are quite a ''few'' posts on how much I actually don't like Valentines day. It's like a filler song on a record, created to breach a lull in holidays and make sure consumers keep busy spending money they don't really have on items that die the next day or items nobody really needs. I was always convinced that men that actually remember Valentines day aren't romantic but guilty. Guilty of whatever, cheating, not paying their partners enough attention, being crappy partners, remembering their other half only on that one day in the year.  Can we maybe remember our special someone on any other random Tuesday, with flowers, with a random card, with a chocolate bar, a vinyl or I don't know spark plugs for all I care, whatever it is that floats your boat, just because, you know, you love that person and you really don't need February 14th to show them that.

I think society and popular culture and mostly social media really puts insane pressure on everyone, making it the strangest thing on the planet that you're not into celebrating a fake holiday. Not to mention all the expectations that are too damn high. Uhm, last time I checked there are no ''we just started dating, no idea where the fuck we're at yet, but here's a card anyway''? or maybe ''thank you for being a fantastic hookup, cheers!''.  I guess not everybody is into hopless romantic type thing.

What I hate more is the cliche things we are told we need to be happy. Dinner reservations, watching sappy couples all over eachother. Yuck, I may vomit over the first course having to watch the fake displays of love when usually things are a hell of a lot different behind closed doors. Flowers? Flowers are so fucking expensive and they die. They DIE! Tacky heart shapped chocolates and teddy bears,…oh my god, you don't see it but I am rolling my eyes all the way back into my skull. Here's a little hint boys. No woman wants a tacky red present that looks like you picked it up at the last moment at the gas station on the way home. Women mostly want attention, so spending a nice evening with her is far better. But if we're on about gifts…it doesn't have to be sappy, it doesn't have to be red, and it doesn't have to be tacky. For a change, get her something you know she wants, a CD of her favourite band, tickets to see said band, a piece of clothing she told you she liked, makeup, a bottle of god damn Jack Daniels. Whatever really, just something that was obviously thought about. If I get a bit NSFW. How about lingerie? Present for the both of you and you save money on dinner? Just asking.

I gotta say the flying babies and candy hearts are kinda nauseating to me. Is there anyone who sells black and gray candy hearts that say ''not you'', ''fuck off'', ''you suck'', ''not a chance'', ''as if'', ''how about no'',…? I actually also heard that original candy hearts taste disgusting. We don't have them in Europe so I have no idea but if that's the case…I mean tacky and awful? Yuck.

The bragging about who has the best boyfriend. Ugh. Do you really think that because he got you chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of expensive champagne in a hotel room service type situation makes him the best boyfriend? Girl he just wants some ass. Let me tell you what a good boyfriend is. And this is a true story. This girl thought she's spending Valentines day alone, and she didn't mind because just like me she couldn't care less. So at the last minute her boyfriend tells her that he'll cancel his work obligations and instead of celebrating they'll fly out to meet his family. Okay. Why not. Only when they got to the airport he took her to the wrong gate and instead of flying to some Southern state, they flew to Los Angeles so she got to see her  favourite band play. That my friends is a good boyfriend. And he'd be just as much of a good boyfriend if he'd order pizza and they'd watch a marathon of her favourite tv show on Netflix.

Pupular fun fact, chocolate in a heart shaped box doesn't actually taste any better. Just get me normal chocolate, any day, all the time.

Do I need to even start with engagements? You guys! The tacky engagments with rings in champagne glasses and inside deserts. Ughhh. Can I start screaming? That's gotta be a sure way to choke or break a tooth? I mean, I know it would happen to me as sure as I'm about to trip over my cat someday and choke on a spoonfull of Nutella…

And another thing which I dislike about this so called ''holiday'' is that it's purely sexist. Everything revolves around women, the roses, the candy, the bears, the engagements, the chocolate…but have you ever saw a commercial or whatever else promoting gifts women can buy for their other half? Surely women don't give men roses. I mean of course, they can apply the same logic with CD's and spark plugs I mentioned above but really, generally speaking, this is a highly sexist holiday. And in turn, too many men think that a bunch of roses or a fancy dinner is a free pass into your panties. Oh.my.god.

Don't confuse my dislike towards this day for bitterness and jealousy, please. It's far from that. Because generally, I feel that showing love is important, to your partner, kids, pets, family, friends, love in the form of kindness towards strangers, love in the form of acceptance towards others, mainly those different from us. But guys, love all the time, everyday. Spoil your loved ones when you can. Tell them often that you love them. Pet and feed a stray. Do a little selfless kind act for someone else, who may not be as blessed as you are. Life is so fucking short and so fucked up that a lil lovin' is the least we can do on a daily basis.

“Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you.”

Do you ever say ''thank god it's Friday'' and then wonder what is it that you hate? Your job, your life, your town, the people, being stuck in some rut you can't get out of…or is it simply exhaustion and weekends mean catching up on sleeping instead of ''tearing up the town''.  Not like weekends mean what they did anymore, if it's not working then it's catching up on work. I wonder when did life get like this. My grandmother worked from 8 am to 3 pm and had the rest of the day off and the weekends free for quick getaways, which she could afford as well as an apartment. And my generation just goes to an ''Air bnb'' because it combines traveling with the illusion of owning your own place, which let's face it, we never will. When did life get so fucked up, I wonder.

But enough whining over things I have no power over, today I feel like going back to a book review for a change, not feeling too inspired music wise. Been listening to a lot of Kip Moore and Brantley Gilbert these days (shut up I love them) and I don't own any of their music, unfortunally. I promised a more ''relatable'' or say non fictional book so here we are. Remember about the classics I said people keep on their coffee tables to make them look smart? I actually know a few of those people with books by Shakespeare and Tolstoj on their tables, conversation pieces but never really read. One of such authors in my friends eyes is also Hemingway. Who's books are on my desk too, with the exception that I read all of them. This one, which this post is about, several times. It's one of my absolute favourite books and I never get tired of re-reading it.

So ''A farewell to Arms'' is a novel that was first published in 1929 and is set during the Italian campaign of World War I. It describes a love affair between Henry an American paramedic and an English nurse Catherine. It's been adapted in plays and a movie that was actually directed by Attenborough. The novel is about Hemingway's own experience serving in the Italian front during the First World War. The inspiration for the character of Catherine is actually Agnes von Kurowsky a nurse who cared for Hemingway in Milano after he had been injured. Like, oh my god you guys, can you imagine not only of course being a nurse caring for THE Hemingway but actually being THE nurse that inspires only the most brilliant piece of literature ever created. Doesn't every woman want that? To be the reason someone got inspired and wrote about her, telling her she has galaxies in her eyes and that he never wants to kiss her goodbye only goodnight. Sigh.  I guess I shouldn't complain, I had a song written about me, or two, or three...Can't say they were all nice, romantic songs but still, I managed to inspire some sort of emotion.

So this Agnes, Hemingway had planned to marry her but that didn't happen when he returned to America instead. A large portion of this book though, was based on inspiration from a collection of letters from Hemingway's friend Frederic Agate who wrote home to his wife while staying in Italy. I read somewhere that he struggled with the ending of the book. Don't we all struggle with a good ending, a closure of some sort? I never know how to end these ramblings I write. Used to write lyrics and could never come up with a good ending. It's not just that writing is hard, endings, goodbyes, those are harder. So in concequence, this book had as he said 39 endings and in a 2012 edition of the book there were 47 alternate endings. Okay wow. I kinda like that to be fair. I mean imagine you're not happy with the ending (I'm looking at you Russo brothers and JJ Abrams) and you just get to pick another one that you do like, I mean out of 47 there's bound to be at least one satisfactory ending.

There were of course also censorship problems, the book was banned in the ''Irish free state'' and not allowed to be published in Italy before 1948 because of the Fascist regime which considered the book detrimental to the honor of the Armed forces. If you ask me though the problem was more that Hemingway has a personal antipathy with Benito Mussolini. I think in an interview Hemingway called him the ''biggest bluff in Europe'', actually makes me wonder what he would have to say about this century's favourite bluff Mr. Donald Trump (y'all caught the latest speech this idiot gave? My god).

I don't really know what it is about this book that I love so much. Apart from Ernest being nothing short of a genius and the way he wrote, the language he used being nothing but perfection. The poetic and romantic way he described things. The way he ''wrote hard and clear about what hurt''. Everything is just as it should be. Speaking of which, unrelated but, you know what's another big wish of mine? I live like what 250 km away from Venice. I've seen entire Italy more or less but I've never been to Venice, which is nothing short of a crime against humanity. So the wish is not only to see Venice but to actually go to the ''Harry's bar'' restaurant and order a Montgomery because rumour has it Hemingway was the first person to do so. And even if not, imagine sitting in a bar where a master sat, possibly typing away, creating a masterpiece. Must be the same feeling as it was standing in the middle of the Cappella Sistina, under the Creation of Adam, which is an amazing work of art and there is nothing on this planet that compares to it's construction and beauty.

It's probably the same old ''soldier and a nurse'' love story that the hopless romantic in me falls for in the end.  Or the charming way the fling starts, that was just a bit of amusement for Henry but developed into a real passionate affair that he did not expect. I guess it's the cliche way how when Henry is wounded with a smashed knee and transfered to an American hospital and the very nurse that gets to take care of him is Catherine. How poetic isn't it? A romantic love story, where they ride into the sunset and it's all rainbows and cupcakes. Don't we all want a romantic ending like that? Sadly though this story, like many of our own real life stories, does not end with rainbows and unicorns and cupcakes.

What I felt though throught this book was that maybe Henry as a bit too experienced, maybe he knew too much about what he writes about for his age, which of course is no surprise given that the author actually ''lived the book''. Though we know, thanks to many biographers that he didn't actually serve as a soldier in WWI, and that him and Agnes didn't get married, but there is still something so authentic and profoundly true about the story that nothing else really matters.

See Catherine in this book is a typical well brought up woman, who probably had a bit more luxury, and was a bit more spoiled, and had certain things expected of her and her being unconcerned about the scandal this affair would bring is completely unbelievable, but the way he builds on her character, making her grow and develop as a person, you see things in another light. Catherine is engaged to a soldier, they know eachother, they have known each other for years, and they also lived by what the society told them is right. The whole ''no sex before marriage''. I still don't know how people made that work. I mean don't get me wrong, I believe that in any and all relationships, trust, love, understanding is far more important, but it would be foolish to say that a sexual union is not just as important. So if you take a car for a test drive…you won't have a go at how you mesh together in the bedroom? I mean,…you know. Easier to replace a car than get a divorce, especially if there are real feelings involved. Even if I have to admit, there's something awfully romantic about the building up of sexual tension and waiting they could marry and enjoy the freedom that marriage could provide.

Before marriage comes though, all the death and horrors that the war brings makes Catherine aware of how fragile life really is and how quickly it can be taken away which makes it easy for her to violate all the upbringing she's had and fall straight to Henry's arms, or should I say bed?

I think I knew how the book will end before I read it the first time. I don't know what it was, maybe the deep mistrust towards authors who seem to be allergic to happy endings (I'm looking at you Nicholas Sparks), maybe the fact that a book set in that time, in that place, just can't have a happy ending, nevermind how much you'd wish for one.  But even though that I'm the one allergic to tragic endings and I refuse to watch movies that end sad (like the one with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, I don't care how amazing it is, I heard how it ends and so keep it away from me) I love this book. I think that the fact that it ends in tragedy, it didn't make me as sad, life is a tragedy after all and there could only be one ending to this journey, or you know 47 endings.  Which I never read, would you believe. I only had one copy, the one with the original ending, that's been re-read about a hundred times. I guess I like having my heart ripped out over and over again. I guess I like being left heartbroken after I finish the last page each time I read the book. And I guess I like looking at the rain differently. It hasn't been the same for me after I read this book.

It's a beautifully told story, constructed so well it makes you hair stand on end, it makes you feel emotions that you probably didn't know you can before you picked this novel up. And I think the ending itself is not meant as a tragic ending to a love story but a tragic ending to war in general. War is hell. War is a tragedy and that's what's portrayed here. With Catherine, their son and his friends dying in the end it's I think also an illusion to all his hopes and dreams dying as well. But it's that ending, never mind how catastrophic it is, it shows  the brilliance of Ernest Hemingway at the top of his art, writing pages with such indirectly expressed emotion, all the grief, all the anger all the pain. It rips out your heart and leaves you panting I swear. Maybe that's another reason I like it so much. I like fantasy most yes but it's not that much about fantasy, it's mostly about forbidden love, and heartache, and pining, and then either ultimate happiness or complete sadness. I like books that make me feel emotions I didn't even know I have, books that rip out my heart in a good or bad way. It doesn't matter. Just books that aren't shallow or something too keep you busy, but make you think, feel, change your perception of different things. Books that  ruin you. You know what I mean?

''Maybe…you'll fall in love with me all over again.''

''Hell,'' I said, ''I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?''

''Yes. I want to ruin you.''

''Good,'' I said. ''That's what I want too.''

''Humanity is the disease, Inferno is the cure.''

You know I consider myself a feminist. A huge one. Obviously. I'm a woman after all. I support the whole ''me too'' movment. Women on high positions. Women as CEO's. Taking abuse and rape accusations seriously. But what really pisses me off is women that abuse the power we had been given. Power that those before us worked so hard to give us. Women that abuse others because they can, because they are women and obviously everyone believes them, cuz you know, what are the odds that men could be victims of abuse? That. That pisses me the fuck off.

Feminism isn't about blindly supporting women and hating men. Feminism is about holding abusive women accountable for their abuse.

''At its core, equality feminist theory advocates for the equal standing of both men and women in terms of desires, wants, goals, and achievement. Thus, from this viewpoint, the basis of human nature outside of culture is androgynous, neutral, and equal.'' 

The definition of feminism is equality, it doesn't mean one is more important or better than the other. I believe that anyone that calls themselves a feminist, a man or a woman, is someone who takes a victim of abuse serious, gives them the right to be heard. But not someone who abuses the power and twists the truth to their own advantage.

Remember some time ago, the news jumped on the story about Johnny Depp abusing his ex wife Amber? People jumped at it, calling him disgusting things, abusing him, he got mocked, fired, his movies boycotted and draged through hell all while Amber got all the support. Why? Because he is a man and she is a woman. And now the story breaks that all along he was the victim and she was the abuser. And despite a ton of evidence, photos, texts, video, audio, doctors reports, people still don't want to believe him? The press won't bother making a huge deal out of it, like they did when the tables were turned. I'm sorry but fuck off. Amber did what toxic, manipulative people do, she took advantage of a movement that was meant to empower women. She used it to her benefit. She used it to cause so much pain and terror.

Don't we as a society get that men can just as well be victims? Of abuse, of torment, of rape,…just because they are men they are not magically shielded from it all. They can have anxiety, depression, abuse.  Just like age doesn't matter, neither does gender. You can't only care about domestic abuse victims as long as they are female. That is bullshit. Abuse is abuse. And here you see exactly why Johnny didn't speak up earlier because even now, even with all evidence, people still don't believe him. They are still gripping at straws trying to defend Amber, oh but he pushed her…let me tell you something, there's no such thing as mutual abuse, there's the abuser and self defense. And quite honestly I am sick. I feel sick. Horrofied.

I've been told that I am looking at the matter through pink shades as well ''you're a fan, you don't know him''. That's true. I don't. But you get to know them through their interviews and movie roles and things that matter to them at least a little bit. All that, plus people he knows, people that know him, made it impossible to convince me that he's anything but an innocent man. And now…now when the world owes him a big fucking apology I feel sick, can you imagine the hell he went through? The lies, the manipulation, the emotional and physical abuse and then to top all of that, to be presented to the world as a monster. The worst kind of monster after rapist and child abuser. A woman beater. Can you imagine how removed, isolated and alone he had to feel? How depressed, to have everyone judge him for something he didn't do?

And on top of that he watched the crazy bitch become the voice and face of abuse survivors? The nerve you guys. The fucking nerve!  Just some of the extent of abuse that came out, wasn't just throwing punches, but spitting at him, putting a cigarette out on his face, slicing off his finger, taking away his medication, who does that? She could of killed him! His life was falling apart, nobody believed him and she walked away, no punishment. Do you know how angry this makes me? Do you know how angry it makes me that she represented actual abuse victims? That is just so….I don't have the words. Insulting really. Mocking actual abuse victims. She stood there next to them while all along she is the abuser. My god. Someone should call the Winchesters to put her down.

While my heart is just broken about Johnny, it's also broken for millions of women who are real victims. Women that went through hell just like Johnny did. Women who had to endure what this monster was doing to another human being while playing victim in the press. For her to lie blatantly about being abused is disgusting, ruining someones life, well more than one someone's life makes me want to throw up. The world jumping on that train right away accusing him sight unseen of abuse, supporting her but being completely deaf now when the truth came out makes me want to throw up even more. I believe there is a deep circle of Inferno reserved personally for Amber Heard.

I'm not here rambling and defending him because I am a big fan, or because I think he's attractive and I love his movies or even because I refused to believe all this time that he is capable of abuse. I am here rambling and upset because he is not only the victim but being mistreated because he's a man. Abuse is abuse and it's not right that the fact that because he's a man his suffering is minimised or not taken serious. If feminism demands equal rights there should also be equal concequences.

I will always stand by Johnny and support him, I'm convinced he's a good, gentle, loving person, admittedly with his demons, but we all have a couple of those lurking about. And I will always stand behind the fact that men deserve justice just as much as women do, and that abusive women belong in jail just like men do. Nobody deserves to be mistreated and abused, take it from someone who knows.

#justiceforjohnnydepp

P.S. Amber, while you already ruined Aquaman forever for me (can anyone get me a copy with all her scenes cut out?), bitch I better not see you in part two, or anywhere else for that matter, or I will fucking riot.

You can run away with me, anytime you want.

Have y'all seen how fucking fast My chemical romance sold out their two UK shows? That had to be like what 50 000 tickets per show? Woah. I mean I never saw this coming. I wonder if should they ever tour EU (jesus christ please announce dates already and put me out of my misery) I will even get tickets. I think I'd just die if finally FINALLY my time to see them comes and I can't get tickets. Either way I know I just did a review the other day, and that there were posts about them in the past but today it's still another one... Sorry, that's just how it is, you're gonna have to deal with it. This one is about my FAVOURITE album so excuse my excitment.

 

Danger Days: The true lives of the fabulous Killjoys. Like what can I tell you about this one? It's amazing. Everything is amazing. The story, the videos, the music, the vibe, the feelings, the emotion, the tension, the ride, everything. Spot on. I don't know who wrote it, might of been Rolling stones that My chemical romance are so sad they could make your cold goth heart bleed. Well I mean, the dark clothes, the dead men, the cancer, the blood and misery…I get the point but also not really, it's not all dark and bleek in their music also.

And then you get Danger Days. Spoiler alert I always wanted to dress up as Party Poison, I mean full on, clothes, props, the whole deal. Never got to it though. But it would make up for a great photoshooting. Anyways, Danger Days comes out, Gee dyes his hair this crazy perfect bright red which (don't kill me) was my favourite look on him. Red is just such a Gerard Way colour. It's pretty stabby you know? And this album isn't sad, this album is more than anything pissed off, and vibrant, just like Gee's hair.

Also what's hugely different is his voice. Gee sounds way cleaner and more polished on this album. I know that was actually an issue for some fans who prefered the rougher, edgier style of ''Three cheers for sweet revenge'' so then this energetic power pop aproach was a bit of a let down. To me though, comparing albums is stupid, a band can grow and develop their sound and it can sound different. Sometimes better sometimes worse but that's why experimenting is important. Nobody wants the same thing over and over and over again. Like Bon Jovi, singing the same songs for 20 years. Don't get me wrong they're great songs, better than any new one, but for real, can you not? For MCR this album is definately a better sounding experience. Which doesn't mean that this album is better than say the Black parade but simply that it's an amazing album on its own.

Basically what Danger Days is is an idea. If you watch music videos to Na Na Na and Sing, they're a story. Set in the future a band of outlaws fights an evil corporation called Better living industries. The video looks almost apocalyptic and what is just really fucking brilliant is that if you pay attention you can see it written on a god damn battery ''California 2019''. When did the band reunite? 2019 and where was the first reunion show? California. Like, I can't. Everything these cryptic assholes do has a meaning, and suddenly it's two AM and you're reading about Salem witch trials and the summer and winter solstace and how that could be incorporated in their state of mind. Don't look at me funny, I'm on to something here. Also of course in case you don't know in 2013 Gee published a comic that continiues the story from the album. And you know what? I never got to read it. Sigh.

Oh my god you guys! You know what literally hit me just now? Danger Days is now set in the past no longer the future. Oh my god.... Right the album. So it starts off with ''Look alive, Sunshine'' and you know what? I handpainted this entire thing to a back of one of my tshirts once? With really annoying tiny letters that took me ages to perfect. What you hear in Look alive, is an old radio transmission and a message from the ''host'' Dr. Death Defying. Most of what he says can actually mean a lot of things or nothing at all, the part that I love most is obviously ''listen up, the future is bulletproof, the aftermath is secondary, it's time to do it now and do it loud, Killjoys, make some noise''. Seems like such a powerful message really, this is a band we grew up with and though this is not a new album the message still stands if you ask me, it's our time, we should make some fucking noise.

Look alive fades into ''Na Na Na Na'' and the fact that there's anyone who hasn't heard this song at least once is crazy to me. It was the first single, it's catchy, it's fun, it makes you sing along. And that bloody car! I mean I always wanted one of those and then they put it in their video? Painted like that! I find that personally offensive. This song is probably what sets the entire albums mood. It shows you that this will be a different ride than any of the previous were and also that it's going to be a fun one.

Then there's ''Bulletproof heart'' which is a total pop punk kinda song, fun, cheery, perfect. It's a bit extravagant, a bit dramatic and most importantly an escape from some undefined restrictive presence, some demons if you will, and shit can't we relate? We're all just trying to get away from our demons.

''Sing'' is next, which is part two of Na Na Na Na. The car is back, the boys are back and so are the ''pigs''. First of all how dare you shoot Gee like that? And also who looks that bloody hot while being shot? Defys laws of nature if you ask me. But the song is easily one of my favourites, the easy begining which slowly builds up to one of the best choruses ever. So sing along boys and girls, ''sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls, sing it for the world''.

''Planetary GO!'' UH yes please. It's like what hope sounds like you know. It's what I feel hope would be should it be recorded, in those very lines ''I can't slow down, I'm undefeatable''. Perfection.

Things then calm down with ''The only hope for me is you''.  It's a beautiful love song don't you think? It's something very personal, it's Gee basically putting his heart on a sleeve, honestly telling the world what's his only hope ''you'', meaning ''her'' in this case, and just so we're clear, his marriage is probably one of the cutest things out there, right next to whiskers on kittens and unicorns. Don't fight me on this, you can't win.

''Summertime'' is actually my favourite on this album. Actually they all are but maybe this one is my top one. Vocals are soft and tender and completely clean, the chorus is a flying melody that feels like it holds the power to fly you away where ever you want to be and that that ''you can run away with me, anytime you want''. Oh my god. It's like a punch in the heart in a good way. I love this song, and yes I would indeed run away with him anytime he'd want. Fun fact. The line starts with ''you can write it on your arm''. So on a gig once Gee had ''run away with me'' written on his neck with a sharpie and his wife had ''anytime you want'' written on her arm. Believe me my heart exploded into rainbows. How cute is that? Where can I find me a guy who would be this silly cute with me? Ugh.

Y'all know what follows next right? Fucking ''Destroya'' which to this day I always say ''great song, you are just cowards''. True story. Destroya is a great song, the whole pounding drum thing and sneering vocals, blow away any trace of slow ballads, with Gee singing he only believes in the enemy. Kinda makes sense doesn't it? Lovers will let you down, as well as family, friends, but you can count on your enemies always hating you. This song is like, another Rocket queen. The moaning! You guys I die. It was so funny people expecting the song on the reunion and that big question ''will Gee moan on stage during Destroya'' lol, Gee is no coward, how could you even doubt him? And it sounded every bit as sexy as it did years back. Like for real, listening to this song is like HOT.

''Goodnite, Dr. Death'' is a sign off from the radio host, who sends us off with a cheery warning telling us that we're basically all going to die. Lovely. ''That big ball of radiation we call the sun will burst you into flames if you stay in one place too long, that is if the static don't get you first''. What does that mean? Like fly into the sun (Icarus much?) and risk getting burned or do nothing and you're fucked anyways? I think it's a metaphore for everything you do really, that you should take chances and risk something, else you really are doomed. Doomed in the same wicked ways, addiction, wrong partner, wrong job…whatever else is haunting you. The message ends with the strains of ''The star spangled banner'' and you know how weird that is when the album plays in your family who doesn't like the US one bit. ''What the fuck are you listening the anthem for?'' really, I'm not, it's just MCR being MCR.

The album ends with ''Vampire money'' which is Gee pissed off at everyone. At fame, at people, junkies, Hollywood, and mostly himself for being this famous. And aparently rich and famous acording to Gee drive ''Volvo cars''. Hah. what's more important here, to this great song, is the intro, and what's even more important that on the reunion show for the first time ever when Gee asked ''How about you Frank?'' Frank replied ''Oh I'm there baby'' and I died. Like dead on the ground. You sneaky Italian rat you. You know exactly what you're doing don't you?

Other songs featured on here are ''Jet Star and the Kobra Kid/ Traffic report'', ''Party poison'', ''Save yourself I'll hold them back'' and ''S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W'', well that first one isn't a song but a ''traffic report'' the rest are all songs, great songs just like the rest of the album and if I go on about how great, amazing, perfect this album is, then this post will never be done, and let's face it, I have a life to get back to (she said while typing around a fat cat on her lap and a jar of Nutella with a spoon jammed in it). You guys put this record on, live it and love it because it deserves nothing less. You know I do….

I love you, you filthy animals.

Do you guys have some of those songs that just transport you back to a certain place or time or a memory? And it's really vivid? Like you're right back there in that moment when you hear it. She asked while Air Supply's All out of love plays on her iTunes. Shut up, I love that song. A song by All time low came up ''Backseat serenade'' and even if they are one of my absolute fave bands, I haven't heard that song in a long while. So while it played, I was transformed right back to the first time I saw them.  ''Krieau Rocks festival'' Vienna Austria in 2013. Shit that's so long ago already…they played with Green Day. Just nine songs though, but still it was such a cool show. BTW boys, I am still upset that the last TWO FUCKING ALBUMS never got a proper EU tour. The fuck is that about? We miss you too…

So the song. The memory. Suddenly it felt like I'm back at that huge open air venue, I can almost smell the beer in the air and the warm summer night. I can hear the screaming, I can see Alex and Jack smiling, being huge dorks that they are. I can feel what I felt in that moment, that one moment when you know everything is okay. And that everything will be okay. And you're just…dare I say happy? Yes, happy. SO happy.

Seeing ATL for the first time was something special, I really went to the Green Day gig just to see ATL, honest to god, I remember also being covered in bruises because let me tell you, fan pit is not a place to be with crazy Green Day fans, but hell it was worth, every bruise and broken – lost voice. I can faintly remember basically touching Jacks hand before I probably floated away on a fucking cloud. Yes that ''crush'' is still going strong, but really, who wouldn't love Jack Barakat? Did I tell you about that story of a history lesson in first year of high school? Professor goes on and on and on about  the second world war and clearly notices I am NOT paying attention so she goes ''Nikki, what do you think about it?'' and flat out, I the idiot that I am, doodling Jacks name in my notebook I go ''Jack Barakat'' and she looks at me funny going ''what does this Mr. Barakat have to do with our topic?'' and I'm like ''probably nothing but I always think about him''. You can just imagine how much that helped with my ''popularity'' in general.

Either way, I saw All time low two more times after that, another solo concert in Vienna, which also had a meet and greet and if you think I lived through that one with Jack giving me a high five you are so wrong, I cried for good 30 minutes after. Crazy is crazy. And then the third time was in Milano Italy but also years ago. Sigh. Actually in honor of them doing something crazy on their social media accounts these days….(I swear the god boys if you don't stop with your cryptic bullshit)…I'll write a little review of my favourite All time low album, which is a CD, because I was never lucky enough to get any of their albums on vinyl. Living in the middle of nowhere will do that to you.

Future hearts is the sixth album that came out in April of 2015 and which I literally by mistake happened to stumble upon in our capital city while being on another either errand or concert and browsing through a media store when I had some time to kill. Aint that crazy? Also I was too happy to have it. First single off of this one was ''Something's gotta give'' and you guys? I loved it first moment I heard it and I still love it now. The video is so brilliant, I mean not ''November Rain by GN'R'' kinda brilliant but brilliant in it's own way. And the whole zombie thing…I mean shoot me now it's just too good. Censored on our MTV of course but still…and was I obsessed with zombie Jack? You can bet I was…

Future hearts debuted number 2 on the Billboard 200 and sold 75,000 copies in it's first week which made it the band's biggest selling and higest charting album. And you look at the number and it doesn't seem that big but really for a little band that isn't Bon Jovi big this are very good numbers. The critics weren't completely happy again as per usual. I did say several times that critics are assholes didn't I? Wait a second, in a way I'm a critic too aren't I? Concert and album reviews? Shit. Well if the shoe fit as I always say…what bothered the critics here was that the album wasn't ''cohesive'' enough. Like really? Really?? How about pointing out the great influences of other songwriters that also worked on songs for this album? Or the change of musical direction in general? God forbid right.

What I found so extremely creative was that every album contained a set of five collectible ''polaroid'' pictures, together 20 so there were different ones to collect. And I thought that was just such a nice touch to add, and of course the pictures are just awesome, just super silly, and cute, and fun.

You guys! When ''Kids in the dark'' came out…oh my god. I love that song so much, still today. It's such a great song. Literally my nails were painted with splattering paint for weeks, inspired by the song. The video was something completely different than what we were used to from them, the girl shielding herself from her parents arguing, doesn't that hit home I wonder. And there's a note thrown in her mail slot on the doors, I think it says ''The kids in the dark invite you to escape, find us at the old iron works''. She finds those kids in her pajamas and slippers, dark room and the only light is neon paint splattered all over those kids. There's a message there you know, no matter what kinda shit you're going through, no matter the hardships, the hell, you're never alone, there's always an escape, there's always other people that understand, people that are there to help you.  And that one moment in the video ''They left us alone, kids in the dark, to burn out forever or light up a spark'', the sparks! Alex! Too cool. And also, the metion of self harm with ''what a shame, what a shame, beautiful scars on critical veins'' and making it clear that there is help out there, that you're not alone and that you are strong enough to get over it in ''we'll never surrender, the kids in the dark''.  The song it self is just a perfect mix of ''dancy'' and punkish so you know Billie Joe wouldn't burst into tears if he caught you listening to it in public.

Missing you is another such song. And if you think I didn't cry the entire length of the video when it was released you are SO wrong. The song is beautiful as is but the video, in which the band shows their gratitude to their fans, the ''hustlers'' who had supported them for the begining. The video is set in London, Alex is wandering around the streets, looking amazing may I add. Boy! That style. Some scenes are with the other boys as well, and in between you see the band talking to the fans via Skype or whatever else. OH MY GOD. Can you like…omg. How do they breathe? I think I'd die on the spot. Die! The fans then got to tell the band how grateful they are for their music, well how grateful we are for their music, for all they do for us. Very emotional video indeed. The very same second the video starts and you hear that very first ''oh my god''…well you can't help but smile. It's really nice to see a band have such a close connection to their fans. And I won't even touch the lyrics, they are beautiful, hopefull, they made me feel better so many times in the past, ''don't lose your fight kid''. Yeah.

It's funny how cocky the sticker on the cover actually is. It says ''features your new favourite songs'' which you know…very ballsy. But super on point. It does in fact feature my favourite songs. They were then and they still are now. So safe to say they really backed that statement up. Another song I really loved is also Tidal Waves, my god it's a beautiful song, so mature, so serious in a way, so full of passion and emotion and well serious and mature is not something you usually would put down for All time low, especially with Jacks constant dick jokes (I still love you babe). It also features the ultimate punk dad Mr. Mark Hoppus himself and we all know I adore that dork.  The lyrics are real nice on this one as well, Alex has such a wonderfull voice, soothing one and on slower songs, ballad type songs, it just comes through so nicely and really, he is just SO underrated as an artist, as a singer, as a lyricist.  Another big musical guest whos influence is also obvious in the song is Joel Madden. Huge old Good Charlotte vibes there. It's kinda really cool and also kinda funny to have them both appear on the album, funny because you just know that bands like Blink and Charlotte are huge influence on the band and without them I am confident in saying there wouldn't be no All time low either and also really cool because hell, just look at how good the boys are doing, started out in Jacks basement and now they're here. ''Just give them ten more years and see what time can do for hopeless dreamers''. Shit. Respect boys. But then again, there was no way for you to go anywhere but up.

Other songs on this album are also Satellite, which is good but not something I'd allert the press about. There's also Dancing with a wolf which is a bit darker but also really nice. There's also Kicking & screaming, Runaways, Cinderblock garden, Don't you go, Bail me out (the one with Madden), The edge of tonight which makes me shiver all over when he sings ''You keep me alive, on the edge of tonight, chasing tomorrow with fire in my eyes, you're like a siren in the dark, you're like a beat playing in my heart, you keep me alive, on the edge of tonight''. Beautiful. Meaningful. And also another very precious memory. Last song is Old scars / future hearts. Very nice song to close the album to.

In general this is an amazing album, it's serious, it shows growth, it shows that the band is not just some random pop punk or emo or whatever else people call them band but actual amazing musicians that are capable of serious and meaningful topics, while still staying true to their roots and still have that true connection with their fans. This is why we love them. A bit less right now though with their cryptic social media bullshit. Seriously boys! Stop! I am not sane enough for decoding this crap.

Alright then here's to the band I love even when it drives me crazy, and to the band who is the reason that at least some of my art (drawings inspired by their lyrics) got some serious attention on tumblr. 4000 + notes and some 2000 + notes, no joke, fame at last. If you want to give a different but very good music a try then pick this one up, it really is amazing I promise.

So enjoy the weekend guys, I know I won't. A lot of work to catch up to. Ugh. Where are those weekends when I could just sleep 48 hours straight. Hell. Word of advice. Don't ever grow up.

The story of a man, a woman, and the corpses of a thousand evil men.

You know that moment on the Friends show where Joey says he's had a bad year and it's only the first week of January? Yeah. I felt that on a deep emotional level. Does it ever get better at all?

I thought about sitting here and sharing about fifty of my currently favourite pictures of Henry Cavill so y'all might enjoy some of my visual pleasures but decided against it. For real though, is that man even real or is he just a photoshoped creation of my fantasy? I swear if I had a type that would be it. Gorgeous.

And you know who else is gorgeous? Gerard Way. Perfect face, perfect soul, perfect music. I thought about it just now while one of their albums is playing. They couldn't pick a better time to come back could they? I'm not talking about Danger days being set in the future and that future being 2019 even if that was bloody brilliant. I'm talking about the entire idea about the band. You know they came on the scene as a band in 2001 when the twin towers were attacked and Gee felt so powerless and so horrofied that he had to do something. Find his own way to change the world, and he did that with his music. He changed us. We were just kids when we started listening to the band. We watched 9/11 happen, we watched the terror and horror, we watched the hell in Iraq and administations who brought nothing but hell and chaos. And just like Gee we were angry and upset and bottom line afraid, watching what the world is coming to, what our world is coming to. Nobody listened, nobody cared, nobody actually valued opinion of the younger population who doesn't want the hate, doesn't want the war, not the past ones nor any new ones. And see if nobody else listened, he did, the band did. The band gave us a voice, told us we matter, told us to be brave and to smile. I sound a bit like the Joker there I know but it's true. My chem literally have a song ''I'm not okay'' and you know what? That's okay. It's okay to not be okay, to be scared, sad, lost, mad. Feelings matter and they showed us that it's not us who's fucked up but the society that is constantly invalidating us. Actually, being angry at what's going on is more than okay, you should be angry, you should be upset, you should be wanting a change and trying in your own way to be a part of the change.

So I guess them coming back, is sort of a Deja Vu isn't it? It's like 2001 all over again, the world is fucked, even more than it was before. Last couple of years were insane. The youth has little to no future. Basic needs have become far away dreams for most. It's like they came back because they knew we need them back. Because we need them to show us that there's hope, that we can do this together. It's not just an idea or a band it's far more than that. It's like a wakeup call, for the new generations just getting into them and for us ''old fans'', this is our time to make a fucking difference, to get up and wake up and do something. I don't know why everything is so fucking hard, yes I get it change is scary but when it's for the better…?

Here's what's playing right now that's inspiring these lines and a whole stack of sketching and drawings…

My fave album they actually did is the Killjoy album there's no arguing there but this one is actually a close second. It was released on June 8th 2004 by Reprise records as their second album. Of course people jumped to hating the band right away. Saying it's bad for kids, talks about death, suicide, violence, etc. Maybe that's what pulled me in from the get go. I was about 13 when I first heard them, loving everything both the ''society'' and my family said it's ''inapropriate''

Gee said about this album that it's a ''pseudo – conceptual horror story'' and a ''story of a man and a woman who are separated by death in a gunfight and he goes to hell only to realize by the devil telling him that she's still alive. The devil says he can be with her again if he brings him the souls of a thousand evil men and the man agrees to do it, so the devil hands him a gun''. That was the idea behind the concept and the artwork who btw Gee designed himself but the album ended up being much more about loss, personal disasters, hardships of life and love and grief. I guess I could relate that's why I ended up loving it as much as a I do.

Opening the album with Helena was brilliant. The song was originally written for Gee and Mikey's grandmother. A fact most people don't really know. When the video came out, out of all my friends and people I knew at the time there wasn't one girl, me included that didn't want to be Helena in that vid. So what if they put her in a coffin? We all wished to be in her place. How weird does that sound? All dying to be put in a coffin by My Chemical Romance.

I'm not okay (I promise) need I even say more? Actually yes I will say something, the fact that these assholes came back after so many years and played their first show and the first song they chose to open the concert with is ''I'm not okay''? in that moment none of us were okay and we still aren't. So thank you for that.

Thank you for the venom over the years became sort of a statement. None of us believed that the band will ever be back so ''thank you for the venom'' was kinda a saying we all used to thank them for all they did for us. In general this is a heavier song, shows that they are well and capable to put out a heavy punkish song with a statement.

They really raised to their potential with this album, they could be just another unoriginal band producing album after album song after song but they didn't. They did things their own way and thank god for that. The whole album though it's a mix of so many things, sort of agressive, sort of laced with punk rock energy, instrumental, creative and in general wonderful. Gee's vocals show so many different posibilities, some are softer, some are agressive, some are emotional which is especially obvious on ''The ghost of you'' (guys the Elvis vibe in the music video? No, really, I'm fine, just dead on the ground). You've also got ''Hang 'em high'' which is a bit Westernish, no doubt inspired by Gee's love of Clint Eastwood, and the message ''never stop fighting''. Damn true.

Did you ever pay closer attention to ''The Jetset life is gonna kill you''? Woah that one is dark. Personal and intense and just dark. It's about the lifestyle. His own lifestyle at the time, constantly on the go and doing drugs, struggling with depression, a mix of it all that almost killed him in Japan in 2004 and it's pretty much making me want to cry just thinking about it. Seriously guys, the world without Gee Way in it would be too dark and too depressing.  On a personal note you know there's a line in this song ''awww sugar''? I would personally kill for Gee to push me against a wall with his hand round my neck or a knife both works, saying ''awww sugar'' to me. Ignore the crazy fangirl. Let me live in my fantasy okay?

''Cemetery drive'' basically about coping with life after losing someone you love due to suicide. That one hits home. Really, it does. I guess it does to a lot of people. Aparently suicide kills almost a million people a year. And it never really gets better. The missing gets worse. It never stops hurting, you don't forget, you just learn to cope. I have someone that I ''miss so far'' as well and I tell you it's hell.  It's been years and I don't miss him any less, if anything probably more, it's hard to find people like him in this world these days or someone to trust and call a friend.

The album is full of melodic surprises, some sweet, some heavy, screaming and emotional singing. The raw emotion is displayed though this entire album, taking us through the story of the main character, fullfilling his deal with the devil so he can see his love again. The bloodshed being justified in the name of love. I don't support violence or playing god mind you, but you ask yourself, how far you'd go for those you love? To protect them? To get them back? I know I'd risk a lot, everything really. Like a tattoo someone I care about a lot has says ''for those I love I will sacrifice''.

What is so fucking brilliant about this album is the fact that it closes with ''I never told you what I do for a living''. This is the end of the album and the end of the story it follows. And you realize that the devil fucked him over because the last ''evil soul'' he has to kill is himself ''down and down we go'' and there is so much passion and rage in his voice when he sings that, it's like literally setting all your neurons on fire. And then that soft, broken ''I tried''. It's like, mindblowing. Really, literally mindblowing. And just when you're done, panting, can't take no more of their brilliance the song ends with ''and never again, and never again, they gave us two shots to the back of the head, and we're all dead now''. Clearly not a statement of victory but defeat, it leaves things to our inpretation though, did he get back his lover? I like to think he did. Even if they're both in hell now, there's some sick romantic ending to the story.

This album paints a very vivid story if you're only capable to listen and understand. It's a masterpiece, they showed their progress and their growth and there was only one way for them to go, which was up, which clearly they did, we know which music follows and it didn't disappoint.

I'm sitting here hoping, hell I'll pray if I have to (don't get excited it will be a prayer to Satan), that this year we get more of that sassy, stabby attitude, new music, new hope, a tour…shit that would make me happy. They always were ''the one that got away'' for me and at the moment I can't imagine anything, literally anything that would make me happier then seeing them live someday. Seriously let a fan girl dream, and don't doubt I didn't already go through about 10 different scenarios how to get to Japan to see them. Crazy is crazy I know but then there were people from all over the world at the Reunion while I was at home crying into my pillows who still have scars to show (black makeup smudges). Alright then, enjoy the weekend, spin some good music, possibly give this one a chance. It's amazing, I promise.