Friday, January 10, 2020

The story of a man, a woman, and the corpses of a thousand evil men.


You know that moment on the Friends show where Joey says he's had a bad year and it's only the first week of January? Yeah. I felt that on a deep emotional level. Does it ever get better at all?

I thought about sitting here and sharing about fifty of my currently favourite pictures of Henry Cavill so y'all might enjoy some of my visual pleasures but decided against it. For real though, is that man even real or is he just a photoshoped creation of my fantasy? I swear if I had a type that would be it. Gorgeous.

And you know who else is gorgeous? Gerard Way. Perfect face, perfect soul, perfect music. I thought about it just now while one of their albums is playing. They couldn't pick a better time to come back could they? I'm not talking about Danger days being set in the future and that future being 2019 even if that was bloody brilliant. I'm talking about the entire idea about the band. You know they came on the scene as a band in 2001 when the twin towers were attacked and Gee felt so powerless and so horrofied that he had to do something. Find his own way to change the world, and he did that with his music. He changed us. We were just kids when we started listening to the band. We watched 9/11 happen, we watched the terror and horror, we watched the hell in Iraq and administations who brought nothing but hell and chaos. And just like Gee we were angry and upset and bottom line afraid, watching what the world is coming to, what our world is coming to. Nobody listened, nobody cared, nobody actually valued opinion of the younger population who doesn't want the hate, doesn't want the war, not the past ones nor any new ones. And see if nobody else listened, he did, the band did. The band gave us a voice, told us we matter, told us to be brave and to smile. I sound a bit like the Joker there I know but it's true. My chem literally have a song ''I'm not okay'' and you know what? That's okay. It's okay to not be okay, to be scared, sad, lost, mad. Feelings matter and they showed us that it's not us who's fucked up but the society that is constantly invalidating us. Actually, being angry at what's going on is more than okay, you should be angry, you should be upset, you should be wanting a change and trying in your own way to be a part of the change.

So I guess them coming back, is sort of a Deja Vu isn't it? It's like 2001 all over again, the world is fucked, even more than it was before. Last couple of years were insane. The youth has little to no future. Basic needs have become far away dreams for most. It's like they came back because they knew we need them back. Because we need them to show us that there's hope, that we can do this together. It's not just an idea or a band it's far more than that. It's like a wakeup call, for the new generations just getting into them and for us ''old fans'', this is our time to make a fucking difference, to get up and wake up and do something. I don't know why everything is so fucking hard, yes I get it change is scary but when it's for the better…?

Here's what's playing right now that's inspiring these lines and a whole stack of sketching and drawings…


My fave album they actually did is the Killjoy album there's no arguing there but this one is actually a close second. It was released on June 8th 2004 by Reprise records as their second album. Of course people jumped to hating the band right away. Saying it's bad for kids, talks about death, suicide, violence, etc. Maybe that's what pulled me in from the get go. I was about 13 when I first heard them, loving everything both the ''society'' and my family said it's ''inapropriate''

Gee said about this album that it's a ''pseudo – conceptual horror story'' and a ''story of a man and a woman who are separated by death in a gunfight and he goes to hell only to realize by the devil telling him that she's still alive. The devil says he can be with her again if he brings him the souls of a thousand evil men and the man agrees to do it, so the devil hands him a gun''. That was the idea behind the concept and the artwork who btw Gee designed himself but the album ended up being much more about loss, personal disasters, hardships of life and love and grief. I guess I could relate that's why I ended up loving it as much as a I do.

Opening the album with Helena was brilliant. The song was originally written for Gee and Mikey's grandmother. A fact most people don't really know. When the video came out, out of all my friends and people I knew at the time there wasn't one girl, me included that didn't want to be Helena in that vid. So what if they put her in a coffin? We all wished to be in her place. How weird does that sound? All dying to be put in a coffin by My Chemical Romance.

I'm not okay (I promise) need I even say more? Actually yes I will say something, the fact that these assholes came back after so many years and played their first show and the first song they chose to open the concert with is ''I'm not okay''? in that moment none of us were okay and we still aren't. So thank you for that.

Thank you for the venom over the years became sort of a statement. None of us believed that the band will ever be back so ''thank you for the venom'' was kinda a saying we all used to thank them for all they did for us. In general this is a heavier song, shows that they are well and capable to put out a heavy punkish song with a statement.

They really raised to their potential with this album, they could be just another unoriginal band producing album after album song after song but they didn't. They did things their own way and thank god for that. The whole album though it's a mix of so many things, sort of agressive, sort of laced with punk rock energy, instrumental, creative and in general wonderful. Gee's vocals show so many different posibilities, some are softer, some are agressive, some are emotional which is especially obvious on ''The ghost of you'' (guys the Elvis vibe in the music video? No, really, I'm fine, just dead on the ground). You've also got ''Hang 'em high'' which is a bit Westernish, no doubt inspired by Gee's love of Clint Eastwood, and the message ''never stop fighting''. Damn true.

Did you ever pay closer attention to ''The Jetset life is gonna kill you''? Woah that one is dark. Personal and intense and just dark. It's about the lifestyle. His own lifestyle at the time, constantly on the go and doing drugs, struggling with depression, a mix of it all that almost killed him in Japan in 2004 and it's pretty much making me want to cry just thinking about it. Seriously guys, the world without Gee Way in it would be too dark and too depressing.  On a personal note you know there's a line in this song ''awww sugar''? I would personally kill for Gee to push me against a wall with his hand round my neck or a knife both works, saying ''awww sugar'' to me. Ignore the crazy fangirl. Let me live in my fantasy okay?

''Cemetery drive'' basically about coping with life after losing someone you love due to suicide. That one hits home. Really, it does. I guess it does to a lot of people. Aparently suicide kills almost a million people a year. And it never really gets better. The missing gets worse. It never stops hurting, you don't forget, you just learn to cope. I have someone that I ''miss so far'' as well and I tell you it's hell.  It's been years and I don't miss him any less, if anything probably more, it's hard to find people like him in this world these days or someone to trust and call a friend.

The album is full of melodic surprises, some sweet, some heavy, screaming and emotional singing. The raw emotion is displayed though this entire album, taking us through the story of the main character, fullfilling his deal with the devil so he can see his love again. The bloodshed being justified in the name of love. I don't support violence or playing god mind you, but you ask yourself, how far you'd go for those you love? To protect them? To get them back? I know I'd risk a lot, everything really. Like a tattoo someone I care about a lot has says ''for those I love I will sacrifice''.

What is so fucking brilliant about this album is the fact that it closes with ''I never told you what I do for a living''. This is the end of the album and the end of the story it follows. And you realize that the devil fucked him over because the last ''evil soul'' he has to kill is himself ''down and down we go'' and there is so much passion and rage in his voice when he sings that, it's like literally setting all your neurons on fire. And then that soft, broken ''I tried''. It's like, mindblowing. Really, literally mindblowing. And just when you're done, panting, can't take no more of their brilliance the song ends with ''and never again, and never again, they gave us two shots to the back of the head, and we're all dead now''. Clearly not a statement of victory but defeat, it leaves things to our inpretation though, did he get back his lover? I like to think he did. Even if they're both in hell now, there's some sick romantic ending to the story.

This album paints a very vivid story if you're only capable to listen and understand. It's a masterpiece, they showed their progress and their growth and there was only one way for them to go, which was up, which clearly they did, we know which music follows and it didn't disappoint.

I'm sitting here hoping, hell I'll pray if I have to (don't get excited it will be a prayer to Satan), that this year we get more of that sassy, stabby attitude, new music, new hope, a tour…shit that would make me happy. They always were ''the one that got away'' for me and at the moment I can't imagine anything, literally anything that would make me happier then seeing them live someday. Seriously let a fan girl dream, and don't doubt I didn't already go through about 10 different scenarios how to get to Japan to see them. Crazy is crazy I know but then there were people from all over the world at the Reunion while I was at home crying into my pillows who still have scars to show (black makeup smudges). Alright then, enjoy the weekend, spin some good music, possibly give this one a chance. It's amazing, I promise.



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