All these years, all our tears, still we sing the same old song.

It's been a while huh guys? Shit, almost a month. Sorry about that. I mean I doubt you really miss my pointless ranting but still. It's been a rough couple of days, weeks, months, years…you know how it goes. I guess I found my way back now as we just walked into yet another lockdown yesterday. No I am not whistling ''It's the final countdown'' with the lyrics changed to ''lockdown'' just yet. I know how this shit works. I've heard the ''it's just a few more days'' ''it's the last time'' blah blah blah one too many times so 11 days might as well turn into another 11 weeks. I don't know no more you guys, seems like people enjoy it. I'm going crazy but idiots around me seem to enjoy it. Perhaps that's the key, the more abuse, the more corruption, the more lies, police violence and violence in general, the more we love it. I'm just tired of it all you know. So tired. 

Been sitting here staring at these GIF's at the side of the blog, usually they inspire me, they make me smile at least, they make things easier, music always makes things easier, these days though, things are just hopless, dark, somehow pointless. ''Uzalud sunce sja, kad mi u srcu padaju kiše''. Kinda like that. I envy people that used these lockdowns to learn a new skill, try new foods, learn a language or some shit like that. All it did for me is drove me fucking crazy. I count it as a personal victory that I haven't murdered anyone yet, or went fucking crazy with a chainsaw like someone did at the parliament just a few days ago. Respect. 

So while I at least try to keep my mind occupied with doodles, slow posting on Instagram, though there are many MANY new drawings to post, feels like I haven't done much but doodle these days…how about some music to go with. This album might be completely unusual for me but also something you'd totally expect. 

There's hundreds and hundred of these mixed albums. People don't like them much I learned. But I do. I like so many bands and swapping albums is tiring, so having a mix of more songs that you love on one record can only be a good thing. Like that ''Metal Ballads'' volume 3 and 4 that I'll probably just die without. Sigh. 

Can we take a moment to appreciate the cover though? The bike alone is an absolute beauty but the guy might as well be an example of everything I find attractive, biker, the hair (okay yea blond would be even better), the clothes, the everything. So damn handsome! And them boots you guys! Feeling slightly hot under my collar doesn't begin to cover it. ''Tough guys show their soft side''. Cute. And unreal. First things first all ''tough guys'' have a soft side and that comes out more than you'd imagine and on the other hand the concept of ''tough guys'' is dead anyways, I look at men around me, and I feel sick. Like lets be serious young boys when joined the Partisans, were freezing and starving in the woods but they pushed on for what they believed in for all of us for their country. And men now? They eat gluten free pizza, cry over their manicure and own more beauty product than us ladies do. Proposterous.

I mean I can fix my car on my own, open jars, change a lightbulb and defend myself much better than a man could. What do I need one for anyway? Oh right the usual MALE reply to this is sex. Lol, please. Sorry to disappoint you guys but no man can ever please a woman as much as her toys can, if they say otherwise they're lying to you. And no toy can please a woman like new shoes can, just the thought of them makes me salivate. But really, I'm off topic, not going to be ranting about sex toys today, even if, rock ballads, pizza and dildos might be a good way to pass lockdown time. 

Like for real I am one of those people that love relaxing in the tub even if my sister calls it a ''wet place to overthink about how your life sucks'', she makes a valid point too because I do that but still, tub, rock ballads and a glass of wine? Yes, please. Anyday. 

Might actually have this over playing while I over think. It came out in 1991 and it's actually perfect from the first song. ''Scorpions Wind of Change''. I love Scorpios like for real, the ''Tease me, please me'' song? That is literally one of my favourite songs. Do I wanna dance strip tease to it on the hood of a late 1970's Camaro? Fuck yes! 

''Wind of change'' is sorta iconic. Like who doesn't fucking know wind of change?  I mean it's not just a song, we all know what it means, what it stands for right? The lyrics were born after the bands visit to the Soviet Union when it was at the height of it's political movment for reformation within the Communist party also known as ''Perestroika''. In the words of Klaus Meine himself;

''The idea came to me in the U.d.S.S.R. when I was sitting in the Gorky Park Center  one summer night, looking at the Moskva River. The song is my personal reappraisal of what has happened in the world in recent years.''

It was released in January 1991 and it was a worldwide hit right away, because the release sorta co happened with a failed coup (August coup) which eventually leaded to the end of the Soviet Union. It also exists in Russian and Spanish version just saying. To me personally I sorta connect it to the fall of the Berlin wall more. I was watching that moment when people were finally free, the wall fell and the joy was everywhere. Kinda wishing for that ''fall of the wall'' moment in this country too. But it feels that way ''wind of change''. Today this song is one of the best selling singles of all times with about 15 million copies sold and holds the best selling German artist song by record! Anyway maybe I see the fall of the wall that much clearer in my head because they actually preformed this song on November 9th at the Brandenburg Gate in 1990 during the anniversary.  Can I just take a second to say how I fucking miss Berlin? Omfg. Seriously Corona fuck off. I am done. 

Next is Magnum ''Need a lot of love'' and if I gotta even get into this song then I may start screaming. We all get what it's about and we all understand the message right? 

I may be biased and skipping the second song because I am obsessed with the third one. Jon Bon Jovi ''Miracle''. Not only we all need miracles sometimes but that man is a fucking miracle in that music video. Y'all see in right? The Harleys, the hair, the man! I mean I did say above the fuck do we need them for, but if they look like that? Damn! If someone paid me just for watching this video I'd be crying in a Bentley today. 

I mean just look at all that! Ladies (and some guys too, hey I don't judge) don't y'all just wanna fuck him so hard on that bike that he'd need new shock absorbers in the morning? Both him and the bike. Lol.  I'm sorry for the bluntness. Lockdown is getting to me, I suppose my brain is melting or turning into mush. The video also apparently features Jeff Beck and Matt LeBlanc. Not that I really noticed them though we all know how much I love Joey. It's a really good song that was my point, and it's a REALLY good music video. And the all kinds of emotions it makes me feel are not too bad either. 

Steve Thomson ''Dream on''? nothing but love. ''Dream on though it's hard to tell, though you're foolin' yourself, dream on.'' Don't we all just wanna dream some days away. Or dream about showering with a certain younger version of Jon Bon Jovi. I bet he doesn't sing in the shower, I bet he's preforming in the shower. In more than one way I bet. I'm not going through a whole box of Mon Cheri vodka chocolates okay. Shut up.  Dream on is a really nice song purely because we all need dreams, some to keep us going and some to just get through the day. Keep on dreaming guys. Really. 

It goes on with ''Robin Beck – First time'' which I am not over the moon with, it's more of a ''meh'' for me, might be because well female vocalists rarely get any enthusiasm from me and also because this song is nothing to alert the press about. A filler I guess. 

Nazareth ''Love hurts''? Yes it fucking does! If you search for Nazareth in a past post you'll see I covered this song in quite a few words. It was written by a songwriter Boudleaux Bryant, and first recorded by the Everly Brothers in 1960. But I think we all know Nazareths version best. It's a beautiful song, that one note, that one heart tugging note. Sigh. It gets me every single time. 

Yngwie Malmsteen ''Save our love''. Now listen to me, Yngwie, can anything or anyone save your love? Like when love is gone, what can you do? Can you even go on? Nevermind trying to save anything. It's not that I was sitting on a sofa with a bottle of vodka and my cats, eating Nutella with a spoon while this played on repeat ''Once we were one, now we're worlds apart, deep inside you know you are my other heart. My memories seem like yesterday, can't believe it's all so far away. All these years, all our tears, still we sing the same old song. Let's make right all that went wrong, there's no beginning there's no end, there's no reason to pretend, crying for help from above, we've got to save our love''. Sigh. My broken heart enjoys having salt poured on its wounds. Yeah. Fighting for love should always be a thing, you should never just let go, you should never quit on someone you love, you should never let something perfect slide from your hands. Ever. 

Side one closes with Bon Jovi ''I'll be there for you'' which we also all know and it's one of the most beautiful love songs next to Always and Bed of roses if you ask me. When he played that song in Milano I sobbed like a baby. Well even more at Always because we all know that's my all time favourite song, yes kids Always tops everything. I hate picking favourites, t'aint right, t'aint fair, t'aint fit, t'aint proper to pick favourites but this is how it is Always and also November rain are two of the best song sever written and my favourite songs of all times and I will fight you if you try to prove me otherwise. Careful though, I'll be coming at you with knives. I'll be there for you is from the album New Jersey which is the best album they ever made, still today, since new ones are crap (sorry not sorry). Some lucky bitches get to hear this song sung by Richie Sambora on their shows. I'd kill for that no joke. But well I did get like half of ''In these arms'' by David so that's something too.

Extreme and ''More than words'' cute but nothing special and mostly so freaking over played by radio stations, but well I wont turn it off if it comes on. 

Rainbows ''Catch the rainbow'' is an older song and another filler for me, don't particularly like it. But then after Rainbow there's Cinderella and ''Heartbreak station'', there have been two album reviews in the past on them but still. I freakin love them. They are so under appreciated it's insane. The voice, the music, the guitars, the glam, all of it fits. I love them. I mean yeah we've all heard Don't know what you got till it's gone about a million times but really both albums I reviewed are really good. They really got me with the ''tears filling up my eyes, sometimes the pain you hide, burns like a fire inside''. Yeah it does. Sometimes it's hard hiding it too. This song is actually on their third album that I don't have. Sigh. Another one to put on the list. Apparently this one waas really their finest moment as artists even if it didn't do so well commercially as it's predecessors. I think it's more bluesy rock rather than glam metal and that's what makes it really cool.

Now before I make this way too long and actually still got shit to do today, despite the lockdown, no you guys it's not dildo testing. Other songs featured on this album are ''China – So long'', ''L.A. Guns – The ballad of Jane'' what's with these Jane or Janey type animals? Like for real, Janeys got a gun, Sweet Jane, Jane says, Sad Jane, Baby Jane, The diary of Jane, Lady Jane, Hazey Jane, Strange Jane, Crow Jane, Janey Blue and on and on and on till fucking eternity. Seriously what's that all about? I mean at least when it's Desiree or Candy or Amanda you know it's about strippers but this is just…the hell is that about? I mean okay at least I get Prince's ''Darling Nikki'' and sorta INXS's ''Beautiful girl'' even if she is ''Nicky'' same thing though. I'd melt to pieces of unicorn and glitter should he sing that song for me in his angel face and voice. Moving on, album also features ''Deep purple – Wasted sunsets'' don't we all have many of those, ''Doro – A whiter shade of pale'' and ''Kingdom come – You'll never know''. What exactly because there's many things we'll never know. 

Now for real logging off, to finish a drawing I started. Not of Alexi this time but a scene from the movie Dirty Dancing. Say what you will but that movie will forever stay my guilty pleasure, as will Hungry eyes and Patrick Swayze all in black. To all my fellow prisoners, sigh, I hope we survive you guys, may you never run out of vodka and Nutella and to the rest of the world enjoying freedom. Cheers, it's not that I'm jealous it's that I wanna murder you all. Kidding. Well only sorta. See you on the other side. (of lockdown not the veil lol, assuming the lockdown madness ever ends but the way things are headed I may be married to a young Jon Bon Jovi sooner than released from ''prison'').

You know I let you down, I've been clumsy with your heart again.

January 22. Lockdown week: ??? Year 2021. I gotta tell you, catching Covid was not on my January 2021 bucket list but here we are. And not I'm not only on lockdown but quarantine as well. And if you're guessing I'm pissed you're right. I feel like in a video game, three lives then game over. Yeah like that. I feel like it's game over for me. I mean I fully planned on getting over this pandemic without getting sick, despite finding it insane wearing a mask outside I always did because I was responsible to others and I bleached my hands bloody with alcohol. What I did not plan on though is one of my family members infecting me and them getting it in a fucking hospital. THAT was not on my bingo list. I'm just. Angry. But instead of moping about, or spiraling in a dark dark hole that is reading old posts about concerts (god I miss those) I am sharing an old post. Cute moment. A fond memory. This is an almost ten year old post now. Memory in it is a bit older. But an awfully fond one. Life was nothing short of perfect then. This was posted on December 19th, titled ''It's only love''.

''What do you think I was up to last night? Looking for trouble no doubt. But seems like there's such things as miracles, or better yet police chiefs prayers heard, because I did not find any actual trouble. Disappointing if you ask me. I was out with my sister and boyfriend. It's been a while the three of us had some fun together. We were in a club, purely because it has the ancient Japanese art called ''Karaoke''. Okay I hear you, I know what you're thinking, trust me I do. And if you're also thinking ''good night nurse  Nichol, that girl better didn't do it'' you may wanna stop reading now.

The general idea behind going out was to relax or really just get hammered before that dreadfull Sunday that's coming up, giving me all kinds of creeps. It felt good having fun to be honest. I forgot what that's like, been so caught up with all kinds of shit and drama it's ridiculous. I mean yeah we go to a shit ton of concerts, but concerts are the food for my soul, they're my happiness, but they aren't a place to drink and let lose. I crave a different kinda fun occasionally. Don't even remember when I spent time in a bar for fun, always events, always work.

When we walked in there were four guys on stage doing what I can only hope is a bad impression of the Backstreet Boys. Seriously the boys would be appaled at the…whining.  I give them props though I think they just weren't drunk enough for their ''talent'' to really shine through. I didn't plan on getting on stage at that point mind you, but all of you who know my dumbass boyfriend (a man child, a work in progress, all the bad  things said in the most loving way so help me god) can imagine how this one played out. The dude behind the bar was giggling as he walked up on stage asking who's next and like from the corner of my eyes, I see that oh so charming, deadly and dangerous grin. My lovely boyfriend the joker that he is gets up and goes ''oh I am so doing this next''. He gulps down like three shots worth of Fireball whiskey, winks and me and jumps on stage. I should of known right there and then that that will bring me nothing but trouble. Sigh. You guys, how stupid am I really? I never ever learn do I? Easy for him to get on stage he's a singer, easy for him cuz he's in a damn band! Alright he got up and held a speech on how hard picking a song is because he loves so many songs. Bullshit. All for an act.

The next moment he grins evily and goes ''how about a sing off you guys?'' shit. Just wanted to shoot him on the spot. I love him. But. That dumb bitch. My sister gave me the whole bottle of Jack Daniels saying ''you're going to need this you know''. Yeah. I do know. And not even a moment later he goes ''can my beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend please join me on stage?''. That little fucker. I swear the world is not big enough to hold my wrath. Though I got up and joined him. Why? Because I had a killer outfit, too much to drink at that point and because he was certain I won't do it. And don't I just love proving him wrong. Well sweetheart this is not how I roll. No is not in my vocabulary, nor is fear. So I got on, tripping over my high heels. Don't drink and wear heels Nikki or you'll end up in the ER one day. I sat on the speaker with the whiskey bottle while he said ''I have a song! And Nikki, baby, this one is for you''.

And what did the asshole pick? ''Bryan Adams Run to you''. An artist on our bucket list to see live someday. And Run to you. A song that has meaning to the both of us. What sucks though is that his voice? Absolutely perfect. He sounds just like Bryan. And if you've had a few? Then you won't know the difference anyways. Of course he sang that absolutely perfectly while I just kept chugging my whiskey, trying to ignore the flirting. I was beyond nervous okay. And then the song ends, and that vicious smile comes back with ''your turn baby girl, beat this if you can''. Honestly at that point I would beat him. And not in the sense of the word he meant. But you know as I said, a little fun never killed nobody. And he will not win this fight. Besides I prefer a bit of crazy in my life, the kinda crazy like crashing bachlor parties, pretending to be a stripper, and things I shouldn't write down, I'm 60% sure they are illegal.

Anyways back to the story, he was leaning on the wall by the stage, grinning, his tight jeans too low, and a black tank top with tattoos on full display, and that attractive smirk that literally melts your panties…he was not making things easy for me. But you know whiskey courage. So I chose my own song, dedicated it right back to him, telling him to pay attention to the lyrics. What was it? ''Bryan Adams One night love affair''. No I aint never changing. But what's the shocking part here? The people in the club actually liked it. I mean, passed out drunk probably but still. I imagined one has to be comatose to like my singing. As the song ends the guy from before asks the crowd who they liked better. Surprise surprise he won? No not really. Neither did I. Someone yelled that we should do a duet. And that's how I got roped into yet another song of Bryans, the one he does with Tina Turner ''It's only love''. And indeed it is only love.

Singing Tina is hard as fuck you know. There's a reason that there's only one Tina. We did a good job on the song. Better than solos. I guess that's just what it is. A message from above that we are better together. People sang with us and when the song ends they were screaming ''kiss kiss kiss''. Funny. It was a perfect movie scene, he was just there, slowly pushing my hair off my face, his hand hooking in my belt loops, pulling me close, so close there was no space even for a piece of paper between us. And god that intoxicating Hugo Boss perfume that made my head spin. The anticipation of the kiss itself was enough to kill me and then he kissed me and the world melted away.

Were you ever kissed like that? Like the movies say, fireworks exploding, seeing stars, feeling shivers running up and down your spine. Everything was just gone there was just me and him and it was perfect. And he tasted like whiskey and mint and Jesus Christ I could honestly get addicted from it. Did y'all know it can be this intoxicating, addicting, all consuming? I haven't felt like this, well ever.

At the end of the day what did our ''lets play rock band'' adventure give us? Free drinks all night and does anything sound better than free drinks? Heck no. Free Fireball, I might as well die and go to heaven. Though this ''addiction'' would most likely end me in hell. Have you ever kissed someone with their lips tasting hot and fiery like Fireball whiskey? Heaven and hell. A bit of both. Have you ever fell asleep in someone's arms feeling like you're exactly where you should be? Heaven. Have you ever been woken up by a kiss from someone you absolutely adore? Pure heaven. And if this is heaven then I don't ever want to leave.

Safe to say that last night was actually pretty amazing. Wish the hungover wasn't such a bitch though, but on the other hand, if you wanna survive my family? Might as well start drinking early in the day. Hungover is a small price to pay. There's two ways to go when dealing with the fam. If you got booze – good. If you don't – bad. Start drinking at 8am, keep going till 8pm and hope for the best.

Do play some Adams, while I get sobered up and showered and inspect my skin, please pray to god that that David tattoo didn't get a matching one on the other side. I have a bad habit of doing stupid shit when drunk. Jesus christ.''

Funny how things change isn't it? One minute you're happy and one minute later, things come crashing like a stack of cards. Most of my dedicated readers know what I'm on about. The rest, I'm sorry but this is a topic for another time. Let's keep the memory positive and happy. No need for more sadness.

I was going to actually tie this post in with a review of Bryans album ''Reckless'' which is my favourite one. I just remembered too late that I don't actually have it no more. Sucks. I need to get a new copy at some point. And about a dozen others. Sigh. So since there's no review now, I managed to dig up these three pictures from the gig in 2014. We never saw it together, the ex in the post and I. But the concert was still pretty amazing. Remind me to do it again someday. When life is actually close to normal again. If that's ever going to happen. I have little hope for a normal world.

 

Is it just me or do you also feel surreal looking at concert pics and videos? Feels like…I don't know. It just feels strange. I haven't seen more than 3 people together for months. Actually I haven't seen people at all for months. A concert with 60 000 people? Wild. And fuck I miss it so much. The thrill. The happiness. Say what you will but 70% of my utter mysery is the fact that I have nothing to look forward to. My best friend used to say to never put all your happiness in a boy because when he's gone you got nothing. He was right of course. But I never once thought that putting my happiness into bands and concerts could result in the same outcome. They're gone, and I got nothing. Sigh.

Now, excuse me while I dig myself an even deeper hole by going into my concert files and watch some really happy memories. Enjoy the weekend you guys, play some Adams, get drunk, eat spoonfulls of Nutella. Whatever works. Cheers.

 

“After all, if there is a heaven, we will find each other again, for there is no heaven without you.”

I am so tired of living in historical events. Enough. Done. Tired.

I was so used to writing these posts up front, like a week before posting, sometimes more, but these days? Fuck so much is happening that that became impossible. America? What the actual fuck? I mean I'm not particularly surprised, we've all watched the slow build up till this happened. I must say Capitol was not on my 2021 bingo list but here we are. What disgusts me the most though is that the clown  actually said to these terrorists (yes terrorists, not protestors) ''I love you, you're very special''. Let that sink in. They. Are. Very. Special. I mean yeah, they are, but not in the positive sense of the word.

Also earthquakes? What the actual fuck? Our country and our neighbors shook well over 100 times in the past week and a half. Seriously? It came to a point where you feel phantom earthquakes, you constantly feel like the earth beneath you is shaking when in reality it's all in your head. Though it's pretty mild here I can't even imagine the people on the actual center area. Constantly  literally fearing for your life? Tough shit.

And just today, gas explosions. What the fuck? What is going on? I mean accidents happen yes but excuse me? 2020, the year that keeps on giving even after it ended. It's exhausting. Breathing alone is exhausting.

And Jesus Christ I can't believe it's January 8th and here I am still rambling about lockdowns. Well you've guessed it correctly. Guess where I'm going next week? Fucking nowhere because we are what? STILL on lockdown and STILL on police hour, like we were during occupation. Which you know means there was an actual war outside. Will this madness never end? It's been yet another tough week with a nice surprise thrown in between, but honestly, yet another week of lockdown? And probably more after? I'm not sure how much more my sanity can take. Probably it's hanging by a thread as is. Has been before Corona. I surprised myself for not snapping yet (knock on wood).

In such times I tend to shut down completely. You know how Sherlock has his ''mind palace''? Yeah, kinda like that. I can literally stare at my wall for hours, guess that's a side effect of being never alone but always lonely. The feeling is even worse lately. Having friends all over Europe is tough, they don't live in such prison like we do here, they live their lives more normally than we had in months, and in turn they're obviously busy. Add that to my constant loneliness and melancholy. Not being allowed to go anywhere, everything closed down, not being able to visit anyone doesn't help either. Sigh. Fuck, I hate feelings.

Or maybe I'd shut down binge watching a tv show, already scared to finish Vikings, I hear the ending is (once again, what a surprise) not too satisfying. But tbh, I've been wanting to re-watch Shadowhunters, and Mayans (yes again, don't you judge me). But what I did in between the horror of this week is finally read this book.

(Nicholas Sparks / The longest ride / Romance, Fiction)

I have a love hate relationship with Sparks. Sometimes I wonder who pissed in his cereal cuz he's so fucking bitter. It's fiction, can't let people be happy in a fictional story? Someone's always dying, someone always ends up hurt…and on the other hand I think he's a genius. Not many authors can write things quite as romantically beautiful as he can. Sappy as fuck sure, but sometimes in this cold, dark, bitter world, sappy as fuck is just what you need. At least I do.

This is another book, which I saw the movie first. Listen you can't expect me to not watch it when baby Eastwood is in it (yum!). I'm only human after all. And actually good thing I saw the movie first so I know the book is ''safe'' to read. I despise, literally despise sad endings, and what a waste it is if you go through like 400 plus pages of a good story only to be disappointed in the end? No thank you.

I'm a hopless romantic after all. I love a good love story. Usually amogst supernatural beings, angels, demons, vampires, you know the works, but every now and then humans will do too. Especially if those humans are sexy sexy cowboys. I go all soft for those.

''The longest ride'' tells a story of three, well actually four, main characters, Sophia, Luke, Ira and fourth character Ira's wife, Ruth, who has passed away. The book alternates points of view. Which is something that usually bothers me, I don't like these swaps, like I don't like major time skips but sometimes, in some books it works. So here it works perfectly. Not only because of the way the story is set up, but because it just flows nicer this way. And there are parts of the story only a certain person and a certain point of view can explain.

The story starts with Sophia a college student, studying art, I can relate to her, minus the blonde hair, we're a lot alike. Don't you love that in a book? Where you can find simmilarities and really connect to a character? Even if usually it's the bad guys I mostly relate to. Sigh. Sophia meets and starts a pretty unlikely romance with a rodeo rider named Luke. Not that we blame her. Who wouldn't? I'm sorry but a bull riding cowboy, in like tight Wranglers and cowboy boots? I'm getting a bit overheated here. I think the country girl in me is strong. This book makes me miss summer like crazy, bonfire nights, Fireball whiskey and mudding. Not that I saw any of that this summer. Well not that I saw anything this summer.

Of course the way Sophia and Luke meet has to be the perfect cliche, damsel in distress kinda thing. Sophia's ex badgering her and Luke stepping in to help. I've been thinking, I handle a jackass myself any day of the week, but if we're talking about sexy cowboys, I'd just might let him swoop in and save the day.  Along side with Sophia and Lukes story, Ira (stuck in a car after an accident, freezing. Here's the bitter I talked about) tells his story, of his life with his wife Ruth. I find Ruth so charming. An immigrant from Vienna (literally one of my top five favourite cities in the world) also an art lover, which is a parallel to Sophia and just generally the way she's described. She's funny, she's smart, she's beautiful.

It gets a bit confusing when the story shifts back and forth like this but eventually the stories collide and it all makes sense. Ira was literally put in Sophia's path because without even knowing they needed eachother. They were just what the other needed in their life. Sophia and Lukes life runs on different paths, he a country boy, she a city girl. Different goals, different ideas, which you know tests your relationship, and tests your love. It's never easy. Sophia and Luke both have hard decisions to make and Ira makes a huge difference in that choice.

I love how this book is literally as the title says ''the longest ride''. Life. From the begining of your path with that special someone to the end. You know from the moment (before really but lets be romantic) you say ''I do'', to the ''till death do us part''. As a marriage should be. I want to believe that when you say I do that's it. Not a prison sentence mind you but actually love, partnership. That's what I want anyways. I know nothing is forever, and I know you can never know for sure but I don't want to say I do if it's not forever. If I can't look behind on my life someday, looking at the happy memories and smile, knowing I did at least something right, then I don't want it at all. Sigh. A dreamer I know. Shut up. Let me dream.

Sophia and Lukes story is the romantic part and the dominant part of the story, Ira is more at the side, but I liked how he remembered his wife, reliving their happy memories, their life. And my, what a life that was. Full of love, laughter, art, travel, happiness. What more can you ask for? It kinda makes you sad too you know. They're only memories. Sure they lived a happy life, and he has pretty much zero regrets but they're just that. Memories. And memories though they make an experience great, tend to hurt like hell. But the way memories and life of Ruth and Ira are depicted makes you feel like true love does in fact last forever and actually exists. It's not all sunshine and cupcakes by the way, it's not a fairytale. There's downs as well. Bumps in the road. But they made it work. They did it together, fought for eachother. For their love. I think we're so lacking that these days. People give up on everything too easy. They give up on eachother, they give up on love. Their relationship. Listen to me boys, all any woman wants is that you fight for her. That you show you care and are willing to put in the work.

What I loved was how Ruth and Ira were art collecting. During their honeymoon, Ruth fell in love with some pieces of then unknown artists, which is what really sparked the fire. That's another thing I desire, buying art, because you love it not because it's worth money. I mean it's not bad if it is but really, art should be bought with the heart not with the price sticker. Just as life would have it though, by the time we read this story and Ira is stuck in his car, he is worth millions. And he was left to decide what to do with the thousands of art pieces they collected over the years. Like, imagine, you buy a young Pollock for say ten bucks because it speaks to you, because you happen to like it and 60 years later it's worth millions. Crazy. I argue about this with my family non stop. What would happen if you were one of the few lucky ones that find a dusty Monet on their attic. They'd sell right away of course, and I'm the psycho, crazy one because I say ''over my dead body''. They don't get it, like many people don't. Money is just money. Paper. Sure it's nice having it but there's millions of these ''paper pieces'' on this planet. How many are there Monet paintings? I'd much rather have it hanging on my wall then a million on the bank account. Guess, I'm crazy.

As we focus on Sophia and Luke again, her college is in the ''country'', so her dreams of working in a museum are clearly compromised if she wants to stay with Luke. Tough. Whatcha gonna do? Leave your career goals or leave the love of your life? I don't think you can ever choose. You let go of your dreams you'll regret that forever. You leave the person you love, you may never love again. Nothing is a sure way to happiness. Maybe adapting your dreams and goals is the best way. A compromise of sorts. Well when Luke told Sophia just how bad one of his bull riding accidents was she left him no room for compromises. Either riding or her. I mean I get it you know. You love someone, you want them safe, you can't stand the thought of anything ever happening to them. But also on the other hand, ultimatums are not leading to a happy relationship either. You love your person but you also love what you do. Having to choose. How can you? Not to mention bull rides are well paid and Luke needed that money to keep the family farm. You know how it is. If you can't do what you want, you do what you have to, just to keep on going. In a way, his mother owning the farm, what Luke was forced to do was choose between Sophia and his mother. But well, you can imagine what he chose. Sophia. And the fact that he just let it go, walked away, all for her. I'm sorry while I cry my weight in tears. Ultimate romantic gesture is it not?

The story lines crash when Sophia and Luke find Ira. And that sparks an unlikely friendship between Sophia and Ira, she would visit him and read his letters that he'd written to his wife. Cue in the water works. Do people do that these days? Can anyone write a romantic love letter any more? I mean…it's all social media and heart emojis, but can anyone still appreciate written word? Or putting emotions into words. I know, I'm one to talk…but that doesn't mean I wouldn't swoon at al proper love letter.

I was debating if I should give you the ending spoilers but let's be honest this entire post is a spoiler. It was kinda leading to this particular ending through the entire book, Sophia and Ruth being alike in so many ways. Sophia befriending Ira. Ira's art collection that needed a new loving owner…but he didn't just leave it to her in a will mind you. Months after he died there's an art auction that Sophia and Luke attend. An auction of Ira's art collection, but they didn't know it's his. And the first painting that goes on sale is an insignificant portrait of his wife. A portrait that has no value but it meant everything to Ira. Luke knowing that, bought the painting for four hundred dollars after nobody else bid on it. Just a few moments after buying it the auction ends and he finds out that because he bought it, Ira left his entire art collection to him. Oh my god. Honestly, in that moment if I was Luke, I think I'd faint. Die. Have a heart attack. Combust into flames or all of the above. I don't know. Something. So of course with this act of kindness, Luke has the money to save his mothers ranch, Sophia has the museum she always wanted to work in and Ira is with Ruth as he wished all along.  It's a beautiful ending, it all comes together just as it should. It leaves you happy and content and warm inside. That's just what I meant, this is all I want when reading fictional books. There's enough suffering and darkness on this planet. I don't need angsty and bullshit endings in my books as well. Or series. I'm looking at you Supernatural.

So here's the deal, if you're into romance, even if just every now and then, you may find yourself really enjoying this one. I know I did, and I usually don't even read Sparks. We all need to escape in a place that's happier than ours every now and then.

Wasted & wounded

That's how I feel these days wasted and wounded. More wounded than wasted actually. Wounded in a mental state kinda way.  There's only so much one can do to keep busy, distracted and well trying their best not to go crazy in the current state of the world. How's that working for you guys? I gotta admit my facade of sanity is slowly (or actually quickly) crumbling. As we head into yet another (big shocker huh?) week of lockdown, I'm finding it hard not to go absolutely bat shit crazy.

So while I sit here and contemplate life, begging the man upstairs and the man downstairs to let us travel again soon, here's some fun facts about another European country I absolutely love. Here's the deal, Berlin is it for me. No place cooler than Berlin. Also as a country, Italy. Aint nothing better than Italy. If you got the money, if you got the chance to go to Italy and you don't, you're just plain crazy. Italy is as close to heaven as there is on earth. BUT! Another country (and the first one I'm bolting to as soon as lockdowns and all the other bullshit are over) I love, is Finland. There aint nothing quite like Finland either. See Italy is perfect in their ocean, beaches, architecture, culture, history, food, Italians, climate, lakes, nature,…but Finland. God Finland.

Did you know that Finland has the most heavy metal bands in the world? Like when you think of music, I guess we all think of USA and UK first, which is insane because music as such is so much better in Scandinavia. There are literally more than 50 metal bands for every 100 000 people in Finland. Consider that there are about 5 540 000 people living in Finland, now imagine all the bands. Wild. Another thing that one should consider is that Finland is said to be the worlds happiest country. Obviously I need to move asap. Lacking happiness as I am, maybe the happiest country in the world can fix me. A little. Or a lot. The happiness factor depends on life expectancy, freedom of making life choices (all the big ones), economic strength, FREE education even on university level, no corruption, health care taken care of, and most likely just generally them being different more open minded people. Honestly if there's one thing I just can't take is conservative, dumb, hateful people.

Another fun fact which paints you a vivid picture why Finland is literally the country for me is the fact that Finns are the world's biggest coffee drinkers. Which surprised me and also is that a challenge? Because these days I swear I only run on coffee and fake promises of a better time, which means I am literally increasing the average liters of coffee consumed of my entire country. I actually assumed that if not the world, than Europe, biggest drinkers of coffee would be the French or Italians, but no, there go the Finns, probably staying awake all nights, writing metal songs or getting lost in the woods. So in translation that means 12 kg of coffee per person per year. And yet here I am, being called crazy for drinking five plus cups of coffee per day.

Here is another thing that I just LOVE about Finish people. You know me, in some ways this corona crap is actually a gift from god for me, I am enjoying the social distance and people not breathing down my neck in supermarkets…here's the deal, in Finland saying a quick hello and moving on your way when meeting an acquaintance is perfectly okay. Nobody is pushy, nobody is stopping you for a (mostly unwanted) snoopy conversation. I hate that so much here, always the same ''How's work? When are you getting married? How about children? Did you lose weight?'' blah blah blah. It's rude and none of anyone's business. This is probably why Finns are dealing with corona better because they naturally keep their distance from people in public areas. Can I like say god bless them? I mean is there anything more annoying than people literally brushing against you when there's literally meters of space all around that can be used? Ugh. Respect my personal space why don't you?

How about a couple of totally legit sports that exist in Finland? Not joking even a little bit these are real; wife carrying championship, mosquito hunting competition, mobile phone throwing, swamp football, air guitar. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. Like how cool is this? I don't like sports at all but this…this is just badass. Sports I could find myself enjoying besides ''catching guitar picks at concerts''. Fun fact, do you know what's the first prize for the winner of the wife carrying championship? The wife's weight in beer. Lol.

How about them Northern lights? Is there anything, anything more beautiful than them? I mean yeah truth that during winter there are weeks where the sun just doesn't rise and me being me loving the sun, a southern girl, that's rough, but isn't there something so comforting about the dark? And then those beautiful lights that light up the dark sky. Amazing. Opposite to dark days you also got days during the summer when the sun never sets, also called ''midnight sun'' (I see what you did here Meyer) which to me is far worse than dark days. I mean how do you function, how does your brain function when it's midnight and it's bright as day? Crazy.

All my feministic readers you'll dig this ''Finland is the most gender equal country in the world'' or one of at least. Okay, today that might not mean that much, we like to think that Europe is changing and women have more equal rights etc…BUT Finland was actually the first country in the world that gave women the right to vote. Today living in this privilege of never not having a voting right, we don't even see it as a big deal, but they gave women the right to vote in 1906 and that is definatelly a big deal.

But alright lets get back to music, which is after all the point of this post. Heavy metal actually has cultural significance in Finland. If you think about it, metal as a genre of music is completely misunderstood all over the world. People tend to have snarky comments, look down on metal heads, call them names, call the music ''noise'' etc. That's different in Finland. It's actually one of the most popular types of music and it's played on mainstream radio stations. Here we are force fed Pink, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Justin Beaver and the closest to metal we get is Bon Jovi's Bed of roses, not even joking. Cute story the cultural significance of heavy metal in Finland was also noted and pointed out by the US president Barack Obama (don't you dare correct me, I don't count psychopatic clowns as presidents) back in 2016 at the Nordic Summit. Take that haters. And my neighbors, and actually parents, and just about everyone that ever sat in my car with me. Sigh.

Surely one of the most significant names of Finish metal we all know are ''Lordi''. They literally made history when winning the Eurovision song contest in May 2006. It doesn't even matter if you watch the event of how you feel about it, the point is that they were both the first Finish band to win and the first hard rock / heavy metal band to win. That was a breath of fresh air that hasn't repeated yet. It drives me nuts, metal and hard rock being over looked like it is, the Grammys? All the dumb looking for talent shows? Why does a pop star / Bieber wannabe / always win? I mean I know why, but WHY? What's funny here though is that Lordi gained some controversy because people interpreted their music as encouraging Satanism. Lol. Someone from here had to do it I'm sure. In fact it's funny because one of their members is actually a very ''up tight'' Christian (why do I hear Ivar Lothbrok spitting ''Christian'' in my head just now?) who writes church music and their song ''The devil is a loser'' is actually against Satanism. Kinda like that bitching over Motley Crue's ''Shout at the devil'' I imagine at the end of album promo Nikki's eyes were permanently stuck in his skull from rolling them at just about every reporter ''listen it's shouting AT the devil NOT with the devil''.

Some other bands that are from Finland that you just have to check out (but probably already know) are; Amorphis, Children of Bodom, Nightwish, Apocalyptica, HIM (obviously one of my fave though no longer together, also first Finnish band to release an album that becomes golden in US), The 69 eyes, Los Bastardos Finlandeses (my fave name haha), and a ton more, though I tend to be more into less known bands. Smaller bands which are every bit as good.

Which brings us to the (long awaited) point of this post. Weekend music recommendation. 

A band from Finland named after a city in California with the prettiest beaches. Santa Cruz. This ''self titled'' album isn't the first one btw, first one was ''Anthems for the Young 'n Restless'' EP with 6 songs back in 2011, then ''Screaming for Adrenaline'' in 2013, after which ''self titled'' came out in 2015, followed by two more albums. My favourite ''Bad blood rising'' in 2017 and ''Katharsis'' in 2019, more on those on another occassion.

This is a solid hard rock band that formed in 2007 inspired by all of the best bands out there, you know GN'R, Skid Row, Def Leppard, Van Halen,…a band which in 2012 landed a worldwide record deal with Spinefarm records. The same Spinefarm that has Airbourne, Anti flag, Black label society, and Rammstein. Though they're not their artist anymore, this I think is still pretty impressive as was their stage pressence at the time. A year later the band signed with TKO agency which gave them the chance of touring in the UK, Germany and Belgium and they got to tour with Skid Row. Oh my god! You guys! Can you imagine growing up with the posters of your heroes on your walls and then you're suddenly one of them, supporting one of the biggest bands on tour. They opened for a lot of other impressive names such as Sebastian Bach, Lemmy and Bon Jovi. Though since then the band went through several lineup changes I can't lie and say that I prefer anyone over the original one (I'm sorry Pav, I love you).

Alright the record starts with ''Bonafide Heroes'' which is one of the coolest album openings in general. It captures that raw early Skid Row sound, the ''youth gone wild'', the rebellion, the anger. I'm always a fan of songs that start slowly and gently then suddenly deliever a punch, even if this kinda ''punch'' might make you throw your car off the road if you listen to it in the car. Hey! Maybe this wanna be safety is why our mainstream radios only play easy rock and pop. The soft subtle choir type begining and the sudden kick into a furious ''noise'' is exactly what makes this a kickass opening. Imagine not knowing a band and this is the first album you get, first impression? Uh I think fuck yes!

Second song ''Velvet Rope'' continiues with the same angry energy and guitars that litreally melt your face off. What's so unique for me in this band is the incredible gift in the guitar playing area. We're so lacking that lately. More bands that sound (and look) like this. There wouldn't be a happier person than me out there if the 80's as they were came back. Men in tight jeans, leather pants, big hair, hair and glam metal. I'd sell my soul to the devil to see that.

Song three is my favourite on this album ''My Remedy''. I love the line ''I need to flee baby set me free''. I guess we all feel that way sometimes, now more than ever. It's actually the lyrics to this entire song that I love (check it out here click me ). This is like a total stadium anthem kinda song for me, warm summer night, drink in one hand, and the crowd singing this chorus back to the band. Yeah, not that I'll see this scenario any time soon. But this is how it feels, that hair raising moment. I mean I love everything about concerts but you gotta admit there aint nothing like the singer going quiet and the crowd picking up the song. It's amazing. Y'all seen the video for ''My Remedy''? Lol I love it.  All the hair! Also how cute is that priest? Lol.

''6 (66) feet under''. Also the number of feet down I'd like to bury certain people. Do you know I had the number 666 on my old car? Like metalic numbers stuck on the back of the trunk. I miss that car all the time tbh. The song! I love it so much the vibe, the lyrics, the melody, another stadium anthem right there. It's an addictive song and honey I'm on a diet of opiates. No joke. I love this song so much. The drums in it? Bitchin! And that guitar solo? Makes your underwear wet not to be explicit but really, it does. So do the vocals tbh. Man, Archie Cruz can sing.

''Bye Bye Babylon'' that line ''I will paint your fantasies to memories'' please do, anytime, anyday, I'm game. This song is less angry but perfect non the less. As the rest it has great lyrics and just perfect guitars and drums and bass and vocals, obviously all of it is perfect. Those high notes too? My god.

''We are the ones to fall'' follows, probably a more known song, amongst fans anyways. And that ''bloody'' video. Brilliant song. Straight from the get go the scream of ''we are the ones to fall'' the hair flipping the whole setting of the song. Hits just right. I'd literally write more about how great this song is but here I am stuck on the music video repeating for the third time because all that pretty hair, even if they end up beating each other up. I mean, I guess all bands have disagreements sometimes….

''Wasted & wounded''  with a music video made in Tavastia in Helsinki. Tavastia is only the coolest rock music club in Helsinki. Or one of the coolest in Europe tbh. I mean it's not a huge concert hall or anything it's a club for what less than 1000 people but guys it has it's charm. In the 70's the club was rented for weekly jazz, rock and disco gigs. And later in the 80's when it got it's legendary status as a rock club (basically the Viper room) there's been bands such as Dead Kennedys, Nick Cave and Hanoi Rocks. It is also one of the oldest European rock music clubs that are still in use. Right point here, Wasted and wounded is a dope song regardless of where the music video was made.

As it goes on with the ''Let them burn'' which has a live music video which gives you a glimpse of the bands great pressence on stage, nevermind who they want to burn. Lol. Song that follows the vibe of the album, the rest of the songs, angry, rebellious, passionate, perfect. Y'all caught that adorable Archies laughter in this song? At this point my sister would be like ''you have a thing about their singer don't you?''. Not at all. Lol. Not even my type. Lol.

''Vagabonds (sing with me)'' can you say no when they ask so nicely? It's a song that definatelly brings fans together. The ''fireeeee''? I died okay. I just love his voice so much. Another fast paced and loud song. Another one that's obviously pure perfection.

The album closes with ''Can you feel the rain'' which actually starts with sound effects of rain, storm, etc. Very ''Riders on the storm'' by the Doors. Who may as well be another influence for this band. If the rest of the album is angry and fast paced this is calm and gentle, while still a rock song. It's more…curious, soft. It picks up a bit towards the end with the just right ammount of power. Beautiful. I'd love a music video of the band playing it the rain, actually I'd like to be stuck in the rain with the singer. No, I don't have a thing for him at all.

You know what? Actually fuck everything I just said, this album is perfect from the first second to the last. Everything fits, the guitars, the drums, the bass lines and those angelic vocals. Their influences shine through so well, you can hear all those bands in their music, but still this fresh sound for newer generations to love and appreciate. And most definatelly they're a band whos sound is something we need more of. Whatever the future holds for the band as a band and individual members, I'm sure it's nothing but bright. With their talent and their sound? Stadiums and number ones no doubt.

''If you wake up in the morning, it is a good day''.

Another Monday another book review. Yep book review not album. Gotta change it up now and then. I wasn't that much into reading after high school. I swear those assholes have a god given gift to throw you off reading forever. I still shiver remembering the crap they made us read. So depressing that slitting your wrists open seems like a joyful event. Listen I get literatury geniuses and all that but for fuck sakes not everything should be force fed down kids throats. To be honest if I was a teacher, I wouldn't give two fucks about what you're reading, can be that garbage of 50 shades of (fucked up) grey. I don't care. You're passionate about it? You like it? Good for you. Read that. I don't understand this bullying and opression and forcing kids to read heavy, depressing, difficult books that throw them off reading for a life time. Like, really I don't. 

It took me quite a while to get back into reading as a hobby. I'd say fanfiction played a role in that as well. Lol. Hey some writers are really talented and my SPN family will understand if I only say one thing ''Elvis''. Yeah that one killed me. Over the years though I found literature that I enjoy most. I read heavy books now too. I enjoy crime novels, but honestly romance and fantasy is my favorite genre because let's be honest, real life is a horror story. No need to read about those as well. I am that much of a ''girl'' to like Twilight as dumb as it is. And the Shadowhunter series. I like teen cute books like ''Love, Simon'' and ''Everything, everything''. And I absolutely love Hemingway and Poe. 

Sometimes you have to step out of the comfort zone though, read different books, historical books. Try different stories. You know what they say? Those that read a million books lived a million lives. Some lives I'd rather not live. Not all history is pretty. Actually I suppose most history is not pretty. So for a change I went into this book.

Heather Morris / The Tattooist of Auschwitz

It was a gift. And I found myself really enjoying it. I don't know I guess I'm a sucker for impossible / forbidden love. But only the ones that end up happy. I don't like stories with tragic endings. Same reason as above. This book was on bestseller list for the longest time and slammed for being heavily inauthetic. I mean. Okay. Yes. I see why. I can't imagine many things in the book being legit. I mean perhaps the main character in the story was in fact this lucky. Managed to survive many times where others would be shot on site. Managed to get by rather easily given how most prisoners were actually treated…It seems just a bit…far fetched you know? But if all is true…then all I can say is he had some seriously powerful guardian angel looking after him.

The story says to be ''based on the powerful true story'' of Lale Sokolov. Lale was a Slovakian Jew who was forcibly transported to the concentration camp Birkenau in April 1942. Upon discovering that he speaks several languages and with some help and luck he became the tattooists helper and later the ''Tatowierer''. Imagine that permanently marking fellow prisoners. The tattoo nobody would want and a permanent reminder even years after. Maybe this ''tattooist story'' shocked me a bit more because it's more personal. I had an aunt in Auschwitz, along with her mother and grandmother and chances are high that it was Lale who tattooed them upon arrival. 

The story of Lale is a two and a half years long imprisonment story of someone who witnessed horrific barbarism but also incredible acts of bravery and compassion. The type of compassion that surprised me, I am not used to so much selflesness from humans.  Lale was actually a real hero, he risked his own life using his privileged position as the tattooist to exchange jewels and money other prisoners stole for him for food and medication, which kept prisoners alive. 

I had a pretty good insight in the horrors described in the book since I've actually been to Auschwitz and there are just things you can't unsee and things you can't forget. The entire atmosphere of the place is gloomy, heavy, dark, it hits you full force from the moment you walk under that creepy sign ''Arbeit macht frei''.  And though it was a hot summer day on the day we visited it, the sun did little to uplift the heavy feeling. It was the first time in my life that I was dead silent, or better shocked into silence for good two hours after leaving the place. I don't know if anything shocked me as much as all those shoes, hair, and that god awful gas chamber which had scratches like nail marks on the walls. And call me crazy but I swear you can feel and smell the horror in there. I remember this tree in a museum in Berlin, where you could write something and hang on it. It's a holocaust memorial museum, I remember writing something along the lines of ''May it never happen again'' and hanging it on the tree. Thinking back through these memories makes it even harder for me to understand the Neo Nazi movment today. How could anyone support something like this? Only a real psychopath. 

I suppose the story as dark as the place is. As dark as the era is. As horrible as the thematic is. As disgusting as this part of history is…and as tough as the novel is to read. It's above all a story of hope and a love story. As it says on the picture above ''I tattooed a number on her arm. She tattooed her name on my heart''. Love story of love on first sight. Lale claims to have fallen in love in that first encounter when he tattooed a number on the girls arm. Without knowing who she is, her name, where she came from, any backstory. Only her number. Later on we learn the girls name is Gita, and the novel follows how they fell in love and how they managed to survive. Probably love kept them alive. Maybe the promise of a life after. A happy one. 

There's a thing Lale said that made me really feel stupid ''If you wake up in the morning, it is a good day''.  It puts things into perspective. He managed to remain positive (for the most time) in a death camp and here I am complaining over lockdowns, uneployment and empty bank accounts. Which yes are awful as is but things could be so much worse. We rarely appreciate what we have and me included. I should count my lucky stars daily for the few good things in my life and focus less on the ugly. 

What I loved was that they had no plan, no idea where the other was and yet they met after being released from Auschwitz. Lale waiting on a train station in Bratislava where survivors were sent to for weeks till she came. (Of course marriage, and a happily ever after follows.) How romantic is that? Does that still exist today? That moment, the airport moment, being chased down an airport and begged not to go? Or just have love professed in front of everyone. Still waiting for that. Well…even if it would it couldn't happen now. Or actually come to think of it ever. I am terrified of flying, I'd probably swim to the US if I could. I guess there's a simmilar romantic statement in my life. My boyfriend told my friend the other day that if we argue and I'm angry at him and refuse to talk to him all he does is tightens the lids harder so he knows I'll have to come ask him for help. It's both ridiculous and completely cute. And it made me fall in love a bit more. 

And here I am completely off topic again. Trust me to be able to come from world war to love in a heartbeat. Then again. Love is war.  To sum it up. The book may be flawed, things may not be as accurate as you'd want them, but it's also heart breaking and beautiful and I really enjoyed this venture into different literature. Got about 15 more books on my ''to be read list''. Some classical literature and some fantasy and romance. I'm never sure, are y'all into these or should I stick to music reviews? Well either way, I imagine it's going to be ''business as usual'' in the next post because it's going to be…yes you guessed it. New Bosses album. I'm so excited omg. 

Alright another week of lockdown, I never imagined I'll be saying those words in the first place tbh. Hope you spend it doing something you love, with someone you love. Or like me with a bottle of Jack. Cheers guys.