Since I don't have you

You know I have a serious problem of seriously crushing on Duff McKagan? Like, when he was on stage in Vienna singing Attitude I probaby died a little and came back no joke. But then again I have a serious problem with this entire band. Have you ever seen or heard a better band? The voice, the guitars, bass players face. Lord have mercy.

Have you seen that thing Duff does with his hair though? That thing! If he'd do that to me on a meet and greet I'd be done for, dead and done at his feet…this thing…

Lord have mercy. Alright since it seems that today I'm in full GN'R fan girl mode, (when am I not?) below is something I wrote a long time ago but never posted, simply because I didn't have the vinyl to go with, but now by some insane luck and amazing boyfriend I do have it and so help me god if there wasn't the fear of damaging it I'd literally sleep with it under my pillow. I did mention fangirls are crazy didn't I?

I was obsessing over this record for so long I don't even know how many hours I spent stalking it online. Something's missing now when I stopped doing that, but then I realized there's still GN'R Lies, so hey another obsession to deal with. Hah.

The most dangerous band in the world they call it. I don't know why, to me they look like a bunch of kittens and if this is about booze, drugs, sex, can't we all agree that the Crue were far worse or do we have to count how many times Sixx died? (no offence baby, I still love you). Did you ever think about how ironic the Moscow peace festival from 89' really is? (I'd kill to be there btw) A concert with the goal to help fight alcoholism and drug abuse with young people and there you've got the Crue, Nikki himself said he doesn't remember shit because he was having a withdrawal crisis, then you got Skid, Sebastian said that he was completly smashed and running from his manager that wanted to kill him. Lord knows Ozzy wasn't innocent either. And all that in Moscow in 89'? What. The. Hell.

90's were wild though, I mean GN'R took no shit in the 90's did they? I mean they dropped Use your Illusion I and II same time as Nirvana put out Nevermind, not giving a damn, millions spent for music videos, Axe being a huge diva, causing trouble and even a riot and let's not even begin with Slash vacationing at the Four Seasons with a mountain lion. A damn mountain lion! Like how do you even…what has to go through one's head, jesus christ, and where did he get it?

So The Spaghetti Incident? was released in 1993, as the bands 5th studio album. The only studio album to feature rhythm guitarist Gilby Clarke and the last album to feature Slash, Duff and Matt Sorum. I don't care much about Matt we all know that there's only one drummer *coughStevencough* fit for this gig and I will fight anyone that disagrees here. But Slash and Duff leaving that was a catastrophe.

You know what's so funny actually? That the hype around this album was huge, yet people were disappointed and back in 1993 records stores literally couldn't get rid of them and today it's considered the ''holy grail'' it goes for insane ammounts of money online. Isn't it funny how the world works?

Now I agree, this album doesn't come near Appetite or Use your Illusion, but hell I love covers and I love how these are made. Since I don't have you is totally my song, I get goose bumps all over each time it's on the radio, and I think I made it clear above just how much I fancy Duff's version of attitude.

Slash said that this record was to alleviate pressure of the Illusion albums, aparently while recording longer tunes such as Civil War and Estranged they played around by covering punk rock songs. This is just like Sweet child of mine. Did you know that the famous intro that probably everyone on this planet knows was just Slash fucking around because he was bored? That's like insane. What kind of a genuis is he? My god.

And the name! So aparently the name comes from Steve hiding his cocaine in the fridge calling it ''spaghetti'' so people wouldn't know. And when the band was sued by Steven him blaming them for his addiction (I mean the band sure didn't help him but was this really nessesary?) the judge asked Duff if he can tell them about the ''spaghetti incident''. I can just about imagine Duff starting to crack up in that judges face.

I heard a different story though, far more disgusting and that was that it was actually a bet, Between Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx as in how long can they go without showering and still get groupies to sleep with them, aparently at some point one of them got sick just smelling them and threw up on them, and what she threw up were spaghetti and that was supposed to be super funny to Axl so he named an album after it, though unlikely I got to say I laughed out loud reading that. It would so be the ''terror twins'' to do something as idiotic.

I guess you know what the real issue with this album is? An unadvertised and hidden (starting at 2:17 in "I Don't Care About You") song by Charles Manson titled ''Look at your game, girl''. It caused a storm safe to say with law-enforcement and victims-rights groups expressing outrage over the damn song. Axl said it's just a hidden bonus track and that they're not giving any credit to Manson while Slash said it was naiive and innocent black humor. Some humor if you ask me. But then again looking at Marilyn Manson who named himself after him…I mean… I think people didn't get what Axe tried to say though, he wore a shirt with Manson's face in my opinion to make a statement, everyone expected him to becasue everyone just assumed he's the bad guy and bat shit crazy when in reality he's far from it. Of course the song was removed from later pressings and the thing was put to rest. Kinda.

So many people hate this album, so many ''die hard'' fans can't stand the thought of it, but you know what I the completly obsessed die hard fan think? That it's awesome, that it shows one of their really amazing works and that it's just pure and massive punk rock tribute to other amazing bands but totally renewed and delievered in a completly new light.

You tell em' babe. To end this post I'll copy a quote by the Geffen records about it:

''So think of The Spaghetti Incident? As the equivalent of Michael Jordan playing a pickup ball game. It doesn’t count in the standings; it’s just raw talent kicking back and cutting loose. (Geffen)''

There you go, and that's all I've got to say today. Enjoy your Easter guys, spend it with people you love or like me, burried under tons of university work, trying not to stress cry every ten minutes. Hah. I hate you statistics, I hate you SO much.

P.S. I told the proffesor that us artist just don't do math like, ''do you think Michelangelo did math?'' and he brings me a book in which there were Michelangelo's sketches with actual math on them for the Sistine chappel. God damn it. This fight isn't over yet mister, you won a battle but not the war.

All love is real

Sometimes she cries when she's alone at night. Sometimes she weeps, when she's feelin' cold and weak. Sometimes the pain, oh, it tears her up inside, sometimes she cries, oh, yeah.

Livin', lovin', give it everything you've got, after all the heartache, maybe give love just one more shot...

I don't believe in monday blues. Not in the hungover from the weekend nor in any other way. I aint fucking stressed and depressed because it's monday. I'm stressed and depressed because of life. Sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes the pain creeps up inside every single cell of your body and messes you up inside. Sometimes I get so fucked up that I get nothing done and the anxiety only gets worse because I'm stuck in one place, wasting time. I envy people who have their lives together. People who know what they want and how to get it. People who don't worry about what others have to say and people who don't understand anxiety, depression, lonliness, pain...I envy those people. But you know what they say right? You have to fight and never give up. ''You have so many options in life, never make giving up one of them''. And that is what I'm doing. I might get knocked down a couple times but I aint ready to give up just yet. And here's what helps me most at keeping sane and fighting the good fight...

You know Appetite is one of the best rock albums ever made, which of course makes it Guns n' roses best work. But I really love both Illusions I and II. I love how it starts with the ''quiet fury'' of Civil war. Then you have 14 years which I think sounds a bit like Dust n' bones, different sound but amazing none the less. It was written and sang by Izzy and I think it's a real masterpiece. Then there's Knocking on heavens door, I'm sorry to say this but I prefer their version over Dylan's anyday. I love it, I love the solo, I love Ax's voice I love everything about it. It is absolutely perfect. Then you got Locomotive...that song is just out of this world, Slash's riffs and Ax's powerful voice mixed together in that song. Fuck me it's too perfect to be real. I also love Estranged, 9 minutes of awesome. I love the solo, I love the lyrics, I love Ax's piano playing. I love everything about it. You could be mine? Fuck yea! It's fast, it's hard, it's heavy metal at it's finest. I love it. And lets not forget about Don't cry. It's one of my favorite songs, with the original lyrics that is but I love the ones on here as well. ''I know the things you wanted they're not what you have with all the people talkin' it's drivin' you mad. If I was standin' by you, how would you feel, knowing your love's decided and all love is real''. Ax is an amazing song writer, the lyrics are just beautiful and nobody would ever give them justice like his beautiful voice does. I wonder what Don't cry would sound like if they put the two together and made it a power ballad like November rain. Point is this album is epic. When you're down and out and ready to give the fuck up and you think all fucking hope is gone you don't throw your hands up and say fuck it. Oh no, you take this album and you put on the first song on side four and just enjoy it. It's blood it's guts it's anger it's fucking emotion. See thing is Nirvana fans were kinda the terrorists and liking Guns n' roses after 93' well my older readers know what that was like right? To the rest here's what I have to say, give it a shot and actually listen to what Ax is rambling about before you call the music mindless and heartless, close your eyes and feel that Les Paul, feel the notes Slash is hitting so perfectly. All in all it's an amazing album and if you own it you should be thankful to do so because it's what music it's about, it takes you on a serious journey, it's strong, it's emotional, it's perfect. Everything you'd want in an album. Now mine is a reprint obviously. I don't have the first print which kinda pisses me off but hey I'm gritting my teeth for a completly mint version. Hah. Here's the deal the original came with a sticker that I'm really missing on my version. It says ''this album contains language which some listeners may find objectionable. They can F?!* OFF and buy something from the New Age section.'' So Ax to say something like this. Hah. Anyways, enjoy the music, give it a shot, crank it up loud because that's how it deserves to be played.

Old at heart but I'm only 28 and I'm much too young to let love break my heart. Young at heart but it's getting much too late to find ourselves so far apart.

P.S. Let me just wish Happy birthday to one of the most amazing human beings on this planet, a man I love above all others, someone without who I wouldn't be who I am today or where I am today. Happy Birthday Pierre Bouvier, you're my rock, my happiness and my strenght, thank you for everything. I love you oh so much.