Hey ya guys. Sorry for being so MIA for so long. What can I say, life's been a struggle. And when it wasn't I was busy with Inktober. Like, really busy. This year I decided to really push myself to make to explore my imagination and capabilty and draw these thingies as good as I can. I'm no Mikelangelo but I've seen a lot of growth in my own work. I managed to draw some of my fave things I probably wouldn't even consider without Inktober and I drew all my fave boys! She said ''fave boys'' about serial killers. I keep telling you my brain is hardwired the wrong way, lol. And when I wasn't busy with Inktober I was busy drinking and sobbing in misery or fucking up my hair. Again. I just can't leave it alone can I?
I think it's Halloween also that made me completely miserable. It's my absolute fave thing in an entire year. I keep saying for me everyday is Halloween though and it really is but on that one day I'm at least allowed to be 100% me, and this year I was alone and depressed and just ugh. I didn't even put any makeup on my face because lets be serious I've been wearing a mask for more than a year, what't the point anymore? Scary movies are no longer scary when you open your eyes and reality is worse than movies. To be honest Freddie or Jason could at this point jump from behind a tree and I'd just be like ''meh'', or thank them for slaughtering me.
I've been glancing through my other blog, private one, the November posts specifically. I don't know why I do that, must be some form of self harm to be honest…I never thought that random pics of a morning coffee with a waiter with a pretty smile will turn into a fever dream. I never imagined that a movie theater will be an illusion and I never ever never dreamed that anything or anyone can make me sit out of concerts for more than a year. What.the.fuck.
One of my fave November memories is that of 10.11.2015. It was the date of Motley Crue's Italian gig. What was supposed to be the ''last ever'' in Italy because the band is breaking up, final tour and all that…well we know how that ended. Well with how things are looking right now it might very well have been the last gig in Italy. You know people keep telling me that I'm still so young, have all the time in the world to see concerts, they just don't know that musicians I love are not young and they don't have all the time in the world. Can you imagine what more than a year of lost touring means for someone like the Stones? Nevermind the fact that we lost Charlie in between. Sigh. This makes me so depressed.
Anyways I sat in my fave cafe on the morning of 11.11.2015, the irony is that the cafe also no longer exists, which also makes me feel fucking depressed because it was the best and the happiest place in this god forsaken country and I wrote a quick blog post, all fangirling and screaming and fever dreams. I have a thing about Nikki Sixx ok, leave me. He's Italian, I can't help it ok. Those days my biggest issue really was humidity in the air making my pefectly straightened hair go frizzy. What I'd give to have that back. I wrote about how amazing the concert was and how sad it is at the same time because this is goodbye forever. Well it wasn't and it isn't (I fucking hope so), it makes me laugh though each time I put my fave band shirt on with those huge bold letters saying ''Motley Crue Final tour''. I'm rambling because I just recently as a belated birthday gift got one of Nikki's books that I've wanted for so long. It's the ''This is gonna hurt'' one about photography and life and so on. I haven't read it just yet, only looked at the pictures. Loved them. I always love his work. He and I, we think very much alike. It's reasuring hearing from time to time that it's okay to be different, strange, unusual…it's nice being reminded from time to time about the strength within me that I learned from my bands, some of it from Nikki himself.
Last song on that concert was ''Home sweet home'' obviously. I remember Vince saying how much he'll miss us. I remember him choking and crying. I remember myself in return sobbing into my sleeves lol. Vince could miss the stage and the fans, but jesus he can't miss us even a tiny fraction as much as I miss them. All of them not just the Crue.
I spent a week or so in Milano Italy then, got drunk on Fireball whiskey and destroyed One direction in a karaoke bar. Or well I hope it was a karaoke bar, to be honest I'm not sure, might of been just a bar and there I was tormenting poor tourists. Lol.
There's also a long rant on 1.10.2015 from a local concert and the people there. Drunk. Stupid. Annoying. I really hated local shows where people turned up for booze not music. At this point, if I was in some dark, smokey, sweaty uderground club and strangers stepped on me and spill drinks on me I'd thank them and ask them to do it again, no joke. Is concert starved a thing like touch starved? Because I'm both.
I went a bit further back, 2014, still November, surprised to see how many posts are about hating the human kind, people are a disease and life is horrible. Don't get me wrong, they are and it is but god if I knew then what I know now, about how bad things will become, about how fucking disgusting people will become, I'd shut up and never use a single post to complain, honest to god. 2014 was also the year I saw Linkin park, I promised myself it's not my first and last LP show but well…we see how that turned out. I'm still upset over Chester mind you. I still miss him. I miss them, the music…sigh. You know what's funny though? I wasn't going to go to this specific Linkin Park show, it was on the same date as something else but then they announced that they're taking Of mice and men with them so I literally went for them because I knew I'd never get to see them on a solo gig anyways. I'm grateful today because I'd never see nor Mice nor LP. How things change huh? This was probably one of my most brutal shows, I was covered in bruises lol. And I met some really nice guys from Poland. It was a good day.
2013 November I saw Avenged Sevenfold. I can't even believe it's been that long. Shit. All three of these concerts were bands that I've been wanting to see for 10 plus years. I can't believe that it's now been almost 10 years since they happened. A7X was one of the best gigs, first time I got to be rewarded for mingling and hanging around the venue early, our tickets got updated to fan pit for free. Crazy! the gig was awesome btw, they toured that year with Avatar and Five finger death punch, both freaking amazing bands.
There are a hell of a lot Simple plan posts too in November posts. No particular reason for it. I guess I always wrote about them…seems poetic to mention since their brand new song came out today. I hate that I love it and think it's great because they literally ripped out my heart and stomped on it. Yup. Who knew. One of the three bands I was completely obsessed with ever since I was like ten years old and sobbed through every minute of their concert the first time I saw them…now I can't stand them. Amazing how things change aint it.
November 1st 2012 was the year we lost Mitch Lucker. Shit. It's been so long I can't even believe it. I freakin miss his music and his amazing persona too. All the damn time. Oh. Hah. It's kinda ironic but the wall next to my bedroom door is full of pictures of my fave musicians and 90% of them are dead by now. Life aye.
I don't know why I rant, to make myself more miserable I suppose. I'll go watch ''What we do in the shadows'' instead, it's freakin hilarious and lifts my spirits each time, and I'll leave some of my fave Inktobers below (including the four fave boys). Cheers guys have a nice weekend. Have some fun for me too, seems like only thing in my future is another lockdown. Sigh. Murder me to end my suffering please.
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