''On behalf of the SpaceX and NASA teams, welcome back to planet Earth''. That's what Michael Heiman, engineer for SpaceX that was communicating with the astronauts said after they landed safely in the water yesterday. That was the first water landing of an American crew since 1975. Trust me, I should know, I'm a huge space geek, something that keeps me up at night, reading articles about space then suddenly it's 3 in the morning and I'm neck deep into wikipedia articles about black holes. I don't know, something about the infinity of space, the silence, the beauty, the idea how insignificant we really are comparing to all of that. All of what's beyond. Beyond…well I don't know beyond what. I've read a whole bunch of theories but none ever sounded right. One of the most popular arguments in our house. My family just loves to call me insane for believing in extraterrestial life. I think under that everyone just imagines little green beings like ET that Hollywood made us believe in, but it could, really be as little as a bacteria. My whole point is just that it's extremely egocentrical to believe that we're alone in a whole wide neverending space.
But that was not the point of this post, the geek in me just got carried away. Like the geek in me gets carried away by all the Pentagon files and strange signals and things like Skinwalker Ranch. Point here though is that ''welcome back to Earth''. Imagine that, coming back to Earth, to this. To the ''Earth'' we have right now…yeah…might as well stay up in space to be honest. Can't help but wonder when did things get so fucked up. Started with someone eating a bat in China and we got all the way here months later? Hard to believe. Guess I'm just bitter, bitter about no concerts and worrying about countless of my friends working in the industry and their future, their lives. It was brought to my attention that people seem to think that musicians work alone, that they go to different venues, set up their stages, turn on the lights and lock up after leaving. Madness. And here I am stressed about where will all those people that make a show amazing go, what will happen with their careers, what will happen with their stories, what will happen with music in general. Fuck.
I guess I'm also bitter because as I've said a million times, music, concerts, are my happy place and I feel so miserable and so lost. I honestly can't seem to function without having something to look forward to, something to make me like, okay just a few more miserable dates till this tour, till that tour, till whatever else. Truth is, I didn't get to see Gerard Way this july 4th and I honestly feel like I won't see him the next one either.
I guess I'm also bitter because all my vacation plans fell through. There are things I've been planning for so long and by some miracle stars aligned and things were a go this year, before the pandemic that is. Now I'm stuck at home. In a country I never particulary liked, never mind loved. I miss Vienna, I miss Italy, I miss Rome, Milan, I miss Berlin, Finland, I miss everything that isn't home. I miss adventures. And I miss me, relaxed and stress free in those places. I miss the happiness they give me and I fucking miss getting away from this godawful place for a little while. Something's in the air I tell you, even breathing seems hard these days. Must be the people, must be this place, must be the rut, must be the bleak future, must be the ''falta amor''.
So before I fall back into my bed and my lavender smelling NASA sheets (I told you I'm a geek. Each time my family tells me that I need grown up sheets I get more creative it seems) which I like because of a comment ''come to bed baby, let me show you the stars'' and he really did btw. Hah. Here's a review of a book I just finished reading and a bonus photo so you can admire my Queen socks by ''Happy Socks''. Here's the thing. I hate boring socks, nothing cooler than having colorful, pretty socks. Also these, despite expensive are so cool, I mean having Freddie Mercury peak out from your Doc Martens is one thing but they are really soft and the colors are so vibrant.
( Emery Lord / When we collided / Contemporary, young adult, mental health, romance /)
The book. It's aparently another ''childrens'' or ''youth'' novels. I tend to read a lot of those lately. Maybe I can't even focus on something heavier or more complicated. I have a stack of new books to read and too little time, books like a book on GN'R that I got in Rome, and a new one about Prince and Elton John.
There's a line in this book ''Even the constellations can see us now: we are seventeen and shattered and still dancing. We have messy, throbbing hearts and we are stronger than anyone could ever know.'' I think that's beautiful.
People say ''never judge a book by it's cover'' and I never do, but I sometimes choose a book by it's cover. It it's something that appeals to me, something I like. There's a higher chance I'll read it without really caring what's it about. A lot of pleasant surprises happened this way. I've read so many good books because I picked them up after liking the cover. I really like the cover of this book, simple, white with paint splatters. It's like, it makes sense, colliding with something makes a mess right? And the second thing is that after you finish the book you actually see it makes perfect sense in so many ways.
Generally this is a book about things we all and I especially can relate to. It's about love and loss. Finding yourself and your purpose, your way, helping others with little things, sometimes even just comfortable silence, or just being there for someone makes a huge difference. It's about mental disorders, it's about grief. Listen, it's no Hemingway but in it's simplicity I think it's a wonderful book.
I'm not the biggest fan of two perspectives that switch each chapter. I prefer one point of view but I suppose given how different the main two characters are it fits. Sometimes you need a little different perspective no? It's switching between a 16 year old Vivi (who btw gives me all kinds of Phoebe from Friends vibes) who is a complete tornado of mostly happiness, excitment, adventure. And Jonah who is 17 and quiet and serious.
The book is based around a summer romance type thing. And though there's a lot of critisism about main characters I believe that Vivi is actually a great character, with a lot of depth. I don't know maybe I can understand her better and some people (lucky people) don't. Story begins with Vivi and her mother moving to a friends house for the summer in a small town in California called ''Verona Cove''. Aparently Vivi falls in love with the small town charm. I don't know if this town exists but I know a little bit about small town charm. I used to have it too. These days, the town remained but the charm is gone. There is something about small towns, small towns like the ones in country songs. With nice people, nice neighbors. Neighbors you can drink coffee with on Saturday mornings and pet their cats instead of argue about lawsuits over events that happened twenty years ago. Don't ask. Long story but no wonder I'm going crazy in this place.
There's a plot twist to Vivi's character, she was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and refuses to take the medication because it makes her feel like a zombie so instead she's throwing the meds in the ocean. I guess the zombie part we can relate to at some point no? Being so detached, due to medication or something else, to just shut down. And it sucks because just like Vivi I imagine everyone would want to feel alive, to love everything so much to want to experience it. To actually enjoy the little things.
Jonah on the other hand is different. Detached in a different way, riddled by worries and grief after losing his dad. Funny how I can realate to that. When it's not just grief, pain, loss that eats at you, when it's debt, financial issues, broken family…everything hits full force. So there's Jonah taking care of his family along with two older siblings who take turns in trying to make life go on and taking care of three younger kids. One of them six year old Leah is also to ''blame'' that him and Vivi met. It's cute how Vivi is right away smitten with Jonah's good looks and entire demeanor, while Leah falls in love with Vivi's crazy and fun personality and asks her to come for dinner, which her brother worrying about his loud, bickering, hard to take in family isn't too happy about.
Vivi manages to charm the entire family except the oldest sister who needs a bit longer to come around. Despite the fact that some of Vivi's behavior is just downright erratic, due to her condition, she's fun, she has some good ideas and some bad (don't we all) and most of her crazy plans, from slip and sliding down their backyard to midnight naked swimming to actually helping to save the family restaurant, her crazy vibrant personality is what brings the family out of this depressive episode they lived in before she came along. A lof of things happen between the pages but I won't be writing them all down, ruins the book I think. Lets just say that a severe episode of her illness brings Viv back from the clouds and she begins to understand that proper medcation will allow her to live a full life. Maybe not the life she dreamed of but a good life anyways. Let's be serious anyways who gets to live the life they dreamed of?
Generally this is a powerful and moving novel about two people that couldn't be more different. That couldn't experience life, love everything else along those lines more differently and most importantly, a novel that shows us that indeed you can fall in love even when you are falling apart.
Emery Lord has this easy, light, fun way of writing that you can enjoy and I just love her lines. Some of them are absolutely brilliant like this one;
''I keep wondering if it'll ever hurt less. This…this hole in our lives.''
''Oh, I imagine it'll hurt less eventually. I think there will always be a hole, though. But lace is one of the most beautiful fabrics, you know. All those holes and gaps, but it's still complete somehow – still lovely.''
Beautiful.
I didn't particulary enjoy the ending but just because I'd do it different doesn't mean it's a bad ending. You know me anything but ''happily ever after''? Eh best don't bother. Hah. All in all I enjoyed this book quite a lot and would recomend it if you're looking for some light reading.
Now excuse me. Really going to fall back to my NASA sheets though alone, and hope for some rest, these days I am in a zombie state as well. Tired doesn't begin to cover it. Have a great week. Guess I'll see you on Friday with some weekend music recomendations. I hope.
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