We don't have to say goodbye

I believe there are different types of heartbreak, because there are different types of love. Like, falling in love with someone you can't have...in those cases you don't need alcohol and smokes to kill you in twenty plus years, you'll be dying daily. Or heartbreak when you lose your best friend, due to an accident, or due to them stabbing you in the back as soon as you turn around. Heartbreak when someone you trust unconditionally breaks that trust and betrays you. Heartbreak when you lose something, someone you really love. And the most obvious one, the heartbreak when things go wrong with the person you thought was your happily ever after...

It's a different heartbreak I'm going into in this post though...

As I stated before, I grew up with rock n' roll music. I love it, no doubt about it. But there was a different type of music that will always be my favorite as well. Punk rock, pop punk type of music. Rock n' roll, old rock, classic rock, hard rock, metal, heavy metal...that was my parents influence. I listened to all their favorite bands because I didn't know different. I'm not complaining of course, they raised me on the best music out there, made me appreciate artists that not only made amazing music but changed history. Artists like Chuck Berry who literally IS rock n' roll...

When I got a bit older, at around 11 or 12 years old I strayed from that path a little and discovered my own music that I enjoyed. Like Simple plan. They are a band I grew up with, a band I love differently and more then all the rest. But don't worry this is not about them...again. Hah. This is about another band I loved for a long time...

Yellowcard

They announced they are breaking up in June 2016 and believe me that was a knife straight to the heart. One more album, one more tour and then goodbye forever. I'm having a hard time coping with that not going to lie. I didn't get to see them live, didn't get that ''last goodbye'' maybe that's why it hurts that much more.

There used to be a time when I was so lost and their lyrics made me feel so much better...lyrics such as...

''Maybe someday I will see you again. And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend.''

''Everything is gonna be alright, be strong. Believe. Think about the love inside the strength of heart.''

''I just want to tell you so you know. Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you. You are my only one. I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do.''

''We're looking up at the same night sky. And keep pretending the sun will not rise. Be together for one more night. Somewhere, somehow.''

''Cause I feel like I'm inside out. You got me upside down. Maybe I was holding on too tight. Even if I wanted to. I don't think that I'd get to you.''

''Yes I miss you still and probably always will. I'm living with a busted heart that I will have until I find the strength I know it's somewhere in my bones, to pull the curtain up again and get on with this show.''

''Say tomorrow, I can't follow you there. Just close your eyes and sing for me, I will hear you always near you and I'll give you the words, just sing for me. No looking back when I am gone follow your heart, it's never wrong, no looking back when I am gone don't second guess the note you're on. Out of time all out of fight you are the only thing in life that I got right.''

I am just heartbroken. So many good memories and some not so good tied to these lyrics, those songs. My best friend and I would lie on the roof of his garage at night during the summer, drinking cheap wine and talk about our future like we knew what we're going to do or where we're going to go. We used to talk about space and love and music and people. Everything and nothing really. And it's the only thing I miss in life. Wasting time with my best friend.

It just...hurts. That's all there is to it. I watched their last video this morning and well if it didn't feel final then it sure does now. The video was their last goodbye.

“Just sing your hearts out, I know it hurts. I see you. But please keep singing.”

That's what Ryan said, it brought on both tears and a smile. At the end of the day, despite how much it hurts this is what they want, they know why, and I respect that. If they are happy so am I. It's going to hurt like hell and I will miss them like crazy but like he said ''keep singing''. If I ever get lonely I know all I got to do is take my Ipod and you'll be right there.

So how do you say goodbye to a band that defined you? A band that has been there for you all through your teen years? A band you screamed the lyrics along to when some local bands played their covers...a band that got you into this type of music, helped you meet a lot of amazing people. A simple thank you could never be enough. But let me try anyways...

Thank you Ryan, Sean, Dez and Josh for always being a constant in my life, thank you for showing me a whole new world of music. Thank you for making me love something new and different. Thank you for helping me become who I am today. Thank you for helping me create the best memories with people I won't ever forget. Thank you for all the friendships you helped me make. Thank you for the careless, reckless, free summer nights. Thank you for the music, for the lyrics, for all the laughter and happiness. Thank you for everything you gave us, you may be ''gone'' not but you won't ever be replaced. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You feel it, you boxed it by the youth you left behind. Does anybody see you anymore? But if we can get free, there's a big bright world to see, forget about the way it felt before.

Try to breathe the air that's here and now try to find some peace in falling out.

We don't have to say goodbye but we can't get lost in time, I'll be yours and you'll be mine, maybe in another life.