You are my last young renegade.

''We said forever but forever wouldn't wait for us.''

Do you ever wonder why some people walk into your life? Like people that do nothing but hurt you? And for no reason too. Why were you…let's say ''put to the test''. Why is some lord above testing your patience? I have this theory that some people make your life better by simply walking into it and some make it better by getting the hell out of it.

I have too many experiences about people walking in and out, sometimes I feel like my life is a god damn train station people always running in and out. I really hated it for a long time. It still upsets me most days to be fair but I learned one thing. People who intend to stay in your life, will stay. It doesn't matter how crazy life gets, what trials you're subjected to, real friends, real partners will have your back no matter what. Speaking of. I wanted to share a story…about meeting people most important to me…

Life was better when I was 15. I can't say I was better, I was dumb and reckless and quite honestly a total bitch. I wouldn't be my friend back then and I can't imagine anyone else would be either. Though surprisingly I had more friends then then I do now. They didn't care about my inteligence or views on life or whatever else that made me me. They liked the wild carefree girl that took a bunch of shots and made out with the cute bartender. Or the girl that stood on stage, shredding a guitar, pretty damn poorly may I add, and swapping spit with her bass player who just happened to be a girl as well. A girl that loved playing truth or dare and ended up painting her fathers brand new car pink, running naked down her street at 3 in the morning or pretending to have sex in a confessional while a preacher sat on the other side.

When you're 15 you think these things make you oh so cool, but when you grow up and look back all you can think is ''jesus christ was I an asshole or what?''. At least I do. Sure we had fun, but so help me I regret 90% of my behavior. It wasn't always bad, one of those nights, while drinking heavily I met one of my best friends. There was this handsome guy sitting in a booth looking lonely as hell and I walked right to him saying something along the lines of ''what do you say, you and me get outta this place and have our own par-tey sugar?'' *idiot* he chuckled and told me ''oh honey you're adorable but sorry to say, I only like boys''. Haha it was a nasty blow back then but today…well I'm glad this is how it happened because if it didn't we wouldn't be such great friends today. Lord knows I'd be lost all through my teen years without him.

And then there's the overly attractive bartender. Oh jesus christ this is going to come back to bite me in the ass but it's time I spill some truth. Ever since I was a kid I spent a lot of time with bikers. Family tradition I suppose. Not to mention I love them as is. They're the best kind of people you could hope to meet. Anyways when I was 15 this new guy joined our club. He was barely 18, always kept to himself, didn't speak much, at least not to me. I always had the idea that he doesn't like me, I figured it's because I was so close with all the important club people. They were always fiercly over protective. Imagine the first family and body guards. Kinda like that.

Thing is I was dating someone at the time and it was as true as love can be when you're 15. That didn't mean I didn't have a ''tiny'' crush at the new guy. I was always attracted to longer hair, bright eyes and tattoos. Which he had plenty all over his arms. He'd work on bikes in the shop and I'd sit on the other side staring at him, pretending to be working on a bike myself. Though I never got much done. Obvious reasons.

Over the years nothing happened. I actually fell more and more in love with the guy I was dating. He was gorgeous, kind, caring, sweet, amazing really. Definitely the man I'd marry someday if life wouldn't get in the way.

So when that ended…it was rough. I didn't handle it the way a ''normal'' person would. I was drinking, acting out, getting into extreme sports hoping one kills me in the process. Yeah, literally. Thing is the drinking was usually done in HIS bar. I didn't know he owns it, I though he was a bartender. To be honest in those days his juggling vodka and whiskey bottles was the only thing making me smile, specially one time when a bottle split open his head. Hah. And his voice. Have I mentioned he's an amazing singer? He sings Bon Jovi better then Bon Jovi…

Anyways, we'd see eachother in the club, we'd see eachother in the bar but we still didn't talk to eachother. Why? I was literally too shy, thinking a man this perfect would never like someone like me. Boy was I in for a surprise. He never had the balls to talk to me because he thought he's not good enough for me. Ironic isn't it? And this is when we come to why for once I was grateful to the police…

I was never one to hide away from what I believe in. I think you need to stand strong and defend your beliefs even if you stand alone. And that's excatly what I did few years ago. I'm not saying I handled the matter well so don't do what I did kids. Maybe listen to Keith Urban's Cop car while reading this part. It fits, trust me.

I hate the circus. HATE it. The idea of animals being locked in small cages and transported all over the world, sitting in road blocks on the heat and their questionable methods of training? If you have a heart you will not support it. Luckily at the time I type this, the circus is illegal in most countries. It wasn't back then though, and I did just about anything I could to get it the message out that it's cruel. Parents asking me where they'll be taking their kids to see wild animals and have fun is still driving me mad. What the fuck is the matter with you? Is animal cruelty what you call fun? Why don't you live in a 2x2 meters cages, in the heat, on the road, all your life jumping through burning hoops for ''fun''. Please. Do. I'd just love to see that.

So let's just say one of my ''protests'' got a little ''heated'' to say the least. Nobody got hurt, except a little personal property…it was enough to get the police involved and they were not pleased to say the least. It literally took them a minute before they put the cuffs on me and threw me in their car saying ''sit down and shut up''. Psh. I told him that he can make me sit but he can't make me be quiet. Thing is a moment later I turn around when I heard someone laughing. Who knew I wasn't alone in the car. Out of all people, ALL of the people that could be in that car the handsome bartender sat there, handcuffed, next to me. I think I said something along the lines of ''fancy meeting you here'' making him smile a really cute bright smile…

I think that was the first time we had an actual conversation, more then just an occasional sorry when someone bumped into the other. And I'm pretty certain that that was the moment when I realized it's more then just a visual attraction. He didn't know I was there, I didn't know he was there yet we were both fighting the same thing, and the same thing had us cuffed in a squad car. Good times. I learned that the cops hate Metallica that day…would you believe that? Well maybe it's just me singing Metallica…I never said I'm any good at singing to begin with…

It probably took me those 2 hours that they made us wait in the car to realize I am falling badly for him. And what did I do about it? Absolutely fucking nothing. God damn wimp. I sat at the side giggling shyly when he said that my family will probably kill him if this gets out even if he did nothing wrong, it was all me.

I remember talking about music with him and bike parts and he told me how beautiful my eyes look in the blue light. One of the cops said ''if you're done flirting I'd like to remind you that I said to keep quiet''. He wasn't very nice. Not that I blame him. I shot him a ''make me'' back and rolled my eyes. I think he said something along the lines of ''you don't want me to make you anything little girl'' to which I replied ''while you're making stuff, would you make me a whiskey on the rocks? I'm getting thirsty back here'' he got so mad he slammed shut the doors. I couldn't stop laughing.

Maybe it wasn't excatly funny after. The family was just as ''happy'' as you can imagine. I wasn't happy either, I learned that trying to get out of cuffs will only make them tighter. Who knew? I surely didn't. so by the time they decided to let us go, my wrists were scraped bloody. If I wasn't to blame that I was in that position in the first place I'd sue them for rough treatment. Though was I in the position to do that? I guess not. I had it coming.

All that aside, who knew that such an ''incident'' will be a start of a long term relationship that is still going? I didn't. Neither did he. And times were tough for us. We had more heartache and drama and things spiraling out of control then we had good moments. But thing is we stood strong because we were in eachother's lives to stay. He didn't wander in my life out of boredom and I didn't stay because I had nobody else either. We stayed in eachothers lives because we wanted and that's what I'm trying to say, you can meet people at the weirdest places, make friends out of the strangest situations and yet if it's meant to be it will be no matter what. No matter how hard life gets, people that love you and care for you won't make stupid excuses they'll be there when you need them.

Here's a little advice for all of you…

There's going to be a time when you realize that you need to walk away from all the drama and all the people who trive on it and live off it. There's going to come a time when you realize you need to surround yourself with people who make you laugh. People who bring out the best in you, people who compliment you and you compliment them. People that just click, being around them is easy…you know what I mean? There comes a time when you need to forget about the bad, focus on the good. And if there's no good in your life yet then just wait for it, good things come to those that wait. I believe that. Even when things seem hard and hopless there's still good things coming. Learn to love people that love you harder and those who don't, love them from a distance. Always be a better person then they are. Never fall down to their level. It's not worth it. Thing is, life is just too short to be anything but happy. And if you're not at that point in life yet, then strive to be happy. Don't dwell on hate, don't let it consume you. It's okay to get angry, it's okay to get upset, but don't hold grudges, don't wallow in hate and self pity, let it go and let live. And if you fall…well that' s okay, falling down is a part of life, but getting up, that's living.

Enjoy the weekend kids, stay safe out there, raise a little hell but stay out of trouble.

P.S. Before I log out and enjoy my friday...my boys released a new song and video and I am completly and totally in love, you figured that from the title and first line already haven't you? Ha. Amazing song and I am so proud of them. Go check it out, press play and enjoy and then press play again and share it everywhere you can. If you want to. Please. Thank you.