''Strap in baby and let Jonny drive.''

Can you feel homesick for a band? Does it make sense if I say there's bands that feel like home? I try new music sometimes, or different music and then I go back to what I know and love and it feels like coming home.

One of those bands to me are Bon Jovi. This post might as well turn into a love letter to the band but what the hell. Would you believe that I grew up hating Bon Jovi? I absolutely despised them. Why? My mother used to listen to them all the damn time, and mostly just one song ''Bed of roses''. ''But come on Nikki, they are so good, and this song is so beautiful'' and blah blah blah. How many times can you hear a song before you end up hating it? Wait a minute…I must have double standards here. Bruce Springsteen is highly overplayed in all my music playing devices but I could never listen to his songs too many times…okay never mind moving on.

What I meant to say was, they feel like home and I am homesick. But homesick after the band that wrote ''Living on a prayer'' not the band that wrote ''This house is not for sale''. I know. I'm going to get a lot of hate for this one but what the hell. What do we have if we don't have honesty? I love the band, I have for a long time and I probably always will but I just can't stomach the new sound. I am not a hater hating on the band, simply a fan that isn't particulary thrilled with where the music went. I am allergic to this pop vibe the album has, some wanna be techno rock, slow burners with endless echoey staccato guitar lines that bands use to make them sound like they're big deal. I am not a fan of the song mixing and I am not a fan of the cheesy lyrics. Maybe they're not bad maybe I've just had enough of ''sweetness''. Maybe I'm getting angrier and I just enjoy something like The Wrecking Ball by the Boss that much more…

All that aside…I still love the band. I think they're all amazing musicians, and great people. I have nothing but mad respect for Jon and what he does when he's not the lead singer. His soul kitchen is an amazing project and one of the few he has. Respect. Here's where the homesick feeling comes in. I saw them live twice, first time in Croatia in 2011 and second in Italy in 2013. And that concert in Italy is what is making me miss them like crazy.

Boss is THE Boss but this concert was special. I always say concerts are different in Italy. The fans are…I don't know. Can I say better? More ''temperamental''? They scream louder, they seem nicer, they have killer fan actions…Italian concerts are definatelly better.

I spent the Friday before the concert in the capital and it was…insane…to say the least. I met a couple of guys from Switzerland, they were having a bachelor party…yeah I probably don't need to go on and tell you how well that ended? I kinda lost my bra, which I gave the groom to be for ''safe keeping'' he was supposed to give it back and he sort of lost it? I don't know if I want to know anyways. First time I was removing my bra in the middle of a bar in our capital city…we went on to underwear then, didn't have any on so he literally took me to the store bought me lace panties and told me to say they're mine. Oh jesus christ. Let me point out this all went down with a lot of Gray Goose and Havana club. We had fun though, they sang Bon Jovi, threw ice down my shirt, I got kissed a lot, he was chewing my hair? And we played a game of guessing who's boobs are on the picture. Hah. Who knew I can actually be good at that? A whole new level of crazy that night. Now imagine I got to the hotel real late, completly buzzed on a Friday summer night in the capital, of course there were parties on every street…no sleep and let's get up at 6 am and go to Milano to see Bon Jovi. Smart. Very smart move.

I switched from car to taxi to train to bus to get to Milano, it was a proper nightmare. And the entire time going there I was thinking about how the hell is this tour working without Richie. Don't get me wrong, Phil is amazing, he killed it on the concert, but I always was *still am* a big fan of Richie Sambora. Without him something just isn't right. There was this…energy…connection Jon and Richie had and I find myself missing that. I'm actually more upset over their friendship then I am over the band. I mean a band member can be replaced but a best friend? Not so much.

San Siro is an amazing stadium, saw them there and also The Boss last year. I think there were around 65 000 to 70 000 people on both concerts. And you know what? Hearing that many people scream and sing the lyrics back to the band…god it's amazing. I get chills all over just thinking about it. This concert though, it holds a special place in my heart because of this moment, a moment during the song ''Because we can'' when the Italian fan base realized a project with which they wanted to show their support to the band. There were banners on the tribunes, 30 years of Bon Jovi history on them. People in the seats had colored paper sheets that made the American flag and spelled out ''Bon Jovi Forever''. Everyone on the ground had Italian flags raised up high during that song. It was amazing to show them that much love and support in a time when they really needed it. You could tell that Jon was really torn up about Richie leaving so his fans showing him that much love was excatly what he needed. He stopped the song midway, with tears in his eyes saying ''look at me crying like a little girl up here''…he thanked all the fans for all of their support and I remember wishing I could give him a hug and say it's going to be alright. There were so many times when I wasn't alright and their music helped so much but when the tables are turned…I suppose showing up to the concert was supporting the band as best as I could. I heard a lot of tickets were returned after Richie split. Here's that moment. A moment I surely won't ever forget…

''alright stop this shit I've got work to do''. The song started again and went on and on and on. I think they played around 30 songs. At the end he was taking requests, it was like he just couldn't get off the stage. Hey I aint complaining, could be 2 more hours of music and I wouldn't mind. Have I mentioned though how I almost touched him? He walked around that cat walk of his…I had golden circle tickets and he leans down touched a couple of fans and you know temparamental Italians got in the way. I was literally 10 centimeters away from touching one of my heroes. Yep. Life sucks. God I hear my mother in my head just now, each time I complain about this she's like ''So what? What would you do? Never wash your hands again?'' so what if I would do just that mother?

There's no secret that my favorite song of ALL time is their song ''Always''. I love that song so much I could never get tired of it. Not so much because of the song itself even if the lyrics are sickeningly beautiful and the meaning behind them even more but because some very dear memories and people are conected to it. Makes me miss those times and people less. I guess. I don't know. So in Croatia the first time I saw them, they sang ''Bed of roses'' *shoot me* and no Always. I was rather upset to be honest. Well that changed in Milano, oh my god when that first note hit. I was completly shellshocked. Is this happening? Is he seriously playing my favorite song live? And it was just…oh jesus I can't even put it into words, goose bumps, emotion overload, outerbody experience. Let's not even start with how many tears there were, sobbing shaking mess, with tears streaming down my face. The flag I had was stained with black makeup within seconds. That is why I always say everyone should get their chance to see their favorite bands live once. I don't take it for granted I am thankful everyday for the life I have and the chance to see so many musicians that I love, that inspire me and make me who I am.

I got myself two Italian ''boyfriends''…hah. Check the attached photo below. We talked for a few minutes while we waited for the biggest mass of people to clear and quite honestly a bathroom. Watching the stage guys was really cool as well. The stage was amazing as is, a huge god damn car and watching those people take it apart so quickly and professionally. Well that. That was fascinating.

Almost fascinating enough to keep me alive and awake during the traffic jam we fell into right after leaving the stadium parking lot. Oh jesus. We moved about 500 meters in two hours. Joyfull. Of course it doesn't really matter when you're all hyped up from the show. It starts to hurt the next morning when you're tired as hell trying to keep awake at work and counting bruises you've got. Still, amazing experience, more then worth all the money, all the headaches, all the tears and all the bruises.

This is what I'm homesick after I guess. That band that made me happier and smile so much and I hope I get another night like that. Sometime soon…even if probably not on the THINFS tour. Seriously not my favorite album.

Here you go a few pictures because I am in a good mood today. It wont last so enjoy these…

Now before I wish you good night...since it's about time to go to bed on my end of the world. Here's an unrelated note. To all my fellow TVD fans. Stay strong tonight. Whatever it may happen. We are all in this hell together. May all the gods help us and I'll see you on the other side.

Stay safe out there and look after one another.