People call me bitter a lot these days. Yea. Maybe I am. Maybe Christmas is something we should all enjoy despite our religious status. Maybe the point of Christmas isn't that much in the birth of Jesus but spreading positivity and love and light (isn't that what he would of wanted?). Whatever that is. Maybe.
It wasn't always like this you know, my dad and I did the whole Christmas tree, nativity scenes, lights, presents, the whole ordeal. The tree had cotton balls spread on it's branches to make it look like snow, all kinds of ornaments from all over the world, and a red star on top of it, with colorful twinkling lights. I admit the nativity scene was far off, we did a ranch with animals and cowboys and no baby Jesus but the effort was there. The dog had a Christmas hat pretending to be Santa's little helper and we had literally any and all types of food you could imagine.
Things changed. The near word Christmas and those idiotic Christmas songs throw me into murderous rage. The lights make me sick and the all together gloomy atmosphere is enough to make one wanna slit their writsts. I'm here rambling and ranting because as per tradition of course my family already ruined any and all chance of a Holiday. After they succesfully threw me into a sour mood with their declaration of how stupid I am, my clothing style, my hair, the fact that I'm an idiot who's grades in school were handed to her and some more about ''getting nowhere in life''. Well…no wonder I'm cooped up in my room talking to myself on the blog. Here's the deal, Christmas in my book is hell. It's the same always. When we're forced to actually spend time together all hell breaks loose (yes you can imagine how much fun the last year has been). Maybe that's why I dread December instead of look forward to it. Maybe I just wanna be left the hell alone.
And the crazy part is if I was allowed to decorate how I want without being called an idiot because ''that's just not how things work'' who the fuck decided how things work? And if I was seated at the table with people that are actually happy to have each other…maybe then I wouldn't be bitter either. I want a black Christmas tree with gothic ornaments and band logos, and a Grinch on top of it and someone who looks at me the way I look at puppies and Henry Cavill, watching Home alone with me while drinking hot cocoa which I don't even like but I would for the purpose of this fantasy. I guess I honestly only wish for love and understanding. And probably for the whole world to disappear but let's not get crazy with wishes. I guess starting small, at home, would do.
The only highlight December, Christmas, New years, used to have were open air concerts in the city center, with cinnamon apple fries and mulled wine or hot gin. And well…yeah we know where we are this year. Depression. Gloominess. Darkness. Even the fireworks are quiet (bez tebe šuti vatromet)…''Most wonderful time of the year'' aye?
Lets not even start with the fact that people believing into a cosmic being born to a thirteen yearold without intercourse is my biggest problem but I learned lately that people will believe anything depending on how you present it to them. Though lets be serious there's one positive development. This year I was spared any and all Christmas shopping, I didn't have to watch shopping zombies in the store, I didn't have to lose my mind in a mall, I didn't have to drive and go crazy over no parking space. No Corona passport, no drama. Everything is good for something aye.
Alright, instead of rambling I'll wish you those of you that celebrate a great Christmas day, I hope you spend it with your loved ones, family, friends, pets, yourself, your books, your vinyl. Whatever floats your boat.
Merry Christmas guys.
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