WILD SIDE: Perché la vita senza te non può essere perfetta.

I got a little bit lazy with these blog updates. Why? Not finding inspiration aside, I love writing about books, concerts, albums and there haven't been many of those in my life lately. Well there hasn't been much of anything lately and the constant rain depressed me even more. But the skies are clear, weather summerish, I'm wearing matching underwear, yes that's important news because not only did I bother to put on underwear but also it's matching. Might be an endless ammount of workmen in our house / street that basically forced me to start wearing clothes and actually brush my hair before I give someone a heart attack. Saying this after I already showed three of them too much. I'm sorry if I just don't expect strangers in my kitchen at 7 am when I'm getting some water. Sigh. Going to be an interesting couple of weeks, especially if you consider that they incapacitated my AC, during the summer, in the South. Okay cool, we're just all going to die obviously.

In other news, with all the cancellations of concerts, nobody even look at me or even consider breathing my way next Saturday. June 12th was supposed to be the weekend in Croatia when I get to chill at the cat cafe and see Steel Panther which is something I've been wishing and wanting for years. It's cancelled of fucking course and there are hardly words to describe my anger and disappointment. It's funny I posted a picture of the concert poster in January saying ''korona if you fuck this up for me I'm burning down this entire country'' well…WELL! And I'm not even going to say ''MCR'' because that one just makes me want to scream. Let's just pray there's some hope left for GN'R. I mean it's next year but, lol…

Should I even bother with vacation? Berlin was in the plans this year, like for real, had a hotel booked and all. It would be a real vacation, seeing my fave city (or used to be fave) after what 12 or 13 years? Something like that but that's impossible now too and also I lost all will and desire to even step foot into Germany. I guess in a way I should thank korona, saved me from that disappointment. The whole why and how is a long story but to make it short let's just say I realised I was being stupid and in love with an illusion that no longer exists. Or maybe I was seeing things through heart shaped glasses.

Any future (if ever) travels will be focused on what I really love which is Italy (obviously of course other places I aint ever seen too). I'm sorry but there is nothing and no place like Italy. I think I had to grow up and realise that things aren't as I thought, Berlin used to be cool, but tastes change, people change,…Italy on the other hand was a constant true love for me. I love Milano so much. I love Tuscany so much. Florence amore mio. Rome? Out of this world. Rome is like…like the entire city is an art museum. And there's nothing I love more, art museums, classical art the one I love most, the whole city breathes this romantic vibe. I don't know how to explain it but if I put it into art Berlin is the darkest cold Picasso, all sharp lines and discipline and Rome is the softest, beautiful and playful portrait, something like The birth of Venus. Am I making sense? Not really, I know. You should try walking the streets of Rome in that golden hour time frame, holding hands with someone you love, just after a refreshing summer rain shower when all of the streets glisten like diamonds and the air is just clear and fresh but still warm and there are musicians on every street corner and the city is alive with life and love. Sigh. I don't even know what I miss most, all of this.

I've been reading this article about eleven best cities to visit in Italy. I realised I crossed them all off my list already. Only ''to do'' city for me is Pisa. I don't know how it's possible I haven't been there yet when I've done them all already including all of Sicily. And each time I fell in love a little bit more. I fell in love with the charming small cities, I fell in love with the coast lines, I fell in love with the way they live, with the people, with the weather, with the food, with the history, with the art. Everything really. There aint no place like Italy on this planet. I've been to a lot of places and only Italy has my whole heart. Thinking back, all my best and all my favourite memories are in Italy. People I love. Art I love. Favourite concerts. All brings us back to Italy somehow.

I honestly can't even put into words how thankful I am that I got to see Venice last year after wishing and dreaming for so long. It was a different experience all together because they were everything I hoped for, dreamed about and expected to see. Pure perfection. And I also can't put it into words how much I miss it all. How much I miss jumping in the car driving to the border just to get a proper coffee and Aperol that only Italians know how to do right. How much I miss concerts in Milano and just Milano in general. How much I miss the Italian sea side, the gorgeous blue skies and crystal clear water. How much I miss the sunsets, the smell of salty air, the weird Italian trees, the pretty hill side country and the flat, straight, ''boring'' Calabria. I even miss the unbearable July heat and the ridiculously expensive coke on the Sienna main square. I miss the pizza and the pasta and gelato and the constant never ending Italian chatter. I miss the laughter and the smell of cooking when you walk down those cute narrow steets where neighbors yell to each other from one balcony to another.

But I'm not going to make this post depressing again. Everything in my life already is completely fucked up so I don't need to make it worse with depressing blog posts. Instead I chose like 200 pictures which I narrowed down (that was fucking difficult), some of my favourite memories, sharing below, so hope y'all enjoy them as much as I do, remembering the better days and the easier life…