Moments

You guys know I loved writing about vacation and travel right? Exploring new places, seeing new things...lately I haven't been blessed enough to go on a vacation some place else, tropical for example, I'd love that, just blessed enough to go back to the places I love most. Which honestly aint bad either and aint something to complain about. We have a saying ''povsod je lepo a doma je najlepše'' which I'm sure exists in many languages and it means essentially ''everywhere is nice but it's nicest at home'' and it's true. I keep saying, I don't need to see the entire world to know that our tiny Pirano is the most beautiful place on earth. Because it really is. And nothing beats the feeling of knowing that this is actually our home, tourists gawking at it, marveling, and we get to call it home. I feel like we often don't appreciate what we have. 

I spent a lot of time this year with American tourists. Yup me. They came and went with those god awful cruise ships that I will never like, but they were all really nice people. Eager to explore, learn and experience and believe me I LOVED all the questions I got. I love people who ask the proper questions. I made some new friends, mostly four legged ones you're right but also human ones. I know that's always shocking but believe me, it happens. And I finally got to experience IT. You know what it is? It could be something so filthy ha ha. But no, what it really is is the view I've been chasing for years. The moment when you're standing on the beach, watching the ocean and see the mountains in the back. It never happened before and this year I could see them in their full glory. The photo doesn't do it justice but still...

This was taken with my old Canon btw, Nikon stayed home, all the following pictures, moments if you will, or maybe lame attempts to get back into photography (see how I failed spectacularly?), are unedited and taken with my iPhone 13.

Pictures are jumbled not at all what and how I wanted to post them, but then again so is my life. A complete fucking mess. 

''You can be my wingman anytime.''

It's been a while huh? Ironically the one time I have tons to say, I don't have the time to actually say it. I feel like people should be more careful with what they're saying, thinks things trough before just blurting it out, or ranting just to say something. Word should have more meaning. 

That's not the reason I'm suddenly not badgering you with sensless posts btw, truth is my life was sorta turned upside down. Mostly in a good way. I think. Hah. A puppy came into our lives both expectingly and unexpectingly. Those of you who know me, know, I adore dogs, and know how long I begged and begged for this to happen. And it finally did. Still feels a bit surreal, like he's here on vacation, not ours to keep. But, you guys, while a lot of it is amazing, and aint a better feeling in the world for me, than this dog cuddling up next to me in bed at night, I gotta admit I did not expect the hurricane that is our puppy. All I can tell you, three to five months old, teething puppies are absolutely exhausting, and I suddenly understand the so called ''puppy blues''. It's a real thing. I questioned his and my sanity several times over the past two months, called vets and behaviour specialists, wanted to tear all my hair out, wanted to throw myself and him under the bus, and probably lost as much sleep I can't make up for in a lifetime. It's been a wild ride is all I can say. But apparently all this behaviour is normal, and all we really can do is endure it. Deal with it. All puppies grow out of their destructive behaviour at some point. And since his adult teeth are already growing, I'm hoping we're out of the worst of his mood swings. I guess I really didn't know what I was getting myself into, was blessed with saints of dogs before he came along. I can not even think our golden retriever touching anything but her own toys.

What I realised in the past couple of months with him though, is that I really really dislike people. I mean yeah news flash, call CNN, this must be breaking news...I know I keep telling you guys this, but this is a whole new level of hatred. While still working on being socialised, I do not allow people to pet my dog. He's hyper, he can actually nip, or literally knock you over with his excitement to play, so to avoid disastros I don't allow people to pet him. And would you think people understand the word no? Of fucking course they don't. They keep lunging at my dog, they keep wanting to pet him, they never ask permission btw. Like how would it be if I walked over and start petting your child? Like for real? How would you feel? How would they feel? Do you think because it's a dog it makes it okay? Hell naw! The amount of stupidity I have to deal with. The amount of stress! And the comments ''but he's so cute''. Omfg are you actually crazy? So is a tiger but that doesn't mean it can't maul you to death. Or the ''but why not I had dogs all my life'' and? Does that make you an expert? And if you had dogs all your life how come you don't understand some dogs need space? Or charging at him when he's freaking muzzled! A muzzle doesn't send you a certain message? Wtf? Or allowing your kids to run at the dog, then yell at me when I ask you to remove them? Am I in the falschen film oder was? What is going on with the world?

Or the unwanted advice. Deep sigh. Suddenly everyone is a vet, suddenly everyone is an expert, suddenly everyone is soooooo experienced in dog behaviour, that all they can do is preach to me on the daily, all that I am doing wrong with this dog. Spoiler alert, I never once asked for advice, and if I did, I probably wouldn't get it. What is it with human kind to feel compelled to force their opinions on you? Fantastic you have your own point of view, thank fuck you do, we can't all be copy paste robots, but have you maybe considered that opinions are like a penis? Fine to have one but do not shove it down everyone's throats? 

And the judgement on why a working breed. Do you think anyone at all asked why I chose this breed? Nope. They all think they know best and are here to school me. And the judgement on buying a dog instead of adopting. How that is irresponsible. I am so tired you guys. What is actually irresponsible is getting a dog just because he's cute, and not having the slighest idea what you're getting yourself into. I'm looking at you Lilly Allen. I'm tired of having to defend myself and my life choices and the dog, to every dick, bitch and asshole on the street who doesn't know shit about me, yet feels entitled to judge me or preach to me. What the hell is this? I see misbehaved dogs, I see misbehaved kids but like, that's some other parents problem, I wouldn't even dream of walking up to the person and try to act like I know better. What goes on through someone's head to behave this way is beyond me. Really, impossible to understand. Also, as if I have to defend my choices to anyone wtf? Why? Or explain myself further than ''no''. No means no. Get it into your head people. 

I ask this a lot but seriously just what the fuck is wrong with people lately???

To make matters clear. I wanted an energetic dog, one that has the ability to go on long walks, to actually pull me out of the house and be active with him. I wanted a working breed because goal is to train him into a therapy dog at some point. As an autistic person I could use a companion that would help me manage stress levels and anxiety. Idea was to get me to be more social and talk to people, yeah fat chance, all it's making me is hate people. We need a dog that can go with us on active vacation, we don't like laying on the beach and do nothing for two weeks. I was looking for a breed that wasn't fucked around with but stayed the same for centuries, I can't stand all that cockapoo, maltipoo, labradoodle, doodle this doodle that bullshit. And I was looking for a loving, energetic, loyal, medium sized companion, that would adapt well to living in an apartment and chose the dog that fit all the criteria. I don't believe in completely changing your lifestyle for the dog, I believe in picking the right kind of dog that fits in your lifestyle. That is responsible, knowing what you're doing, not getting a dog because you think it's cute. I'm looking at all you French Bulldog owners, maybe look up just how cruel their existance is, but hey as long as  they look adorable right? 

To be clear this dog is a menace, and so stubborn, and so difficult, and things haven't been easier after going to dog school which was there to collect money and teach you nothing it seems. And it's not making it easier smirking people, who seem to enjoy your bad day. I was pacing the lot swearing the other day, had a flat tire, dog was barking jumping at me, nothing I did calmed him down and people laughed. It is absolutely horrofying what we had turned into. Maybe you can't offer help, I respect that, but maybe also don't laugh at someone elses bad day yea? Either way, dog is probably gonna be the reason for all our demise, but whatcha gonna do he's our dog now. Something something about a bed and hay and laying in it? 

Either way...meet Maverick or Mav, Mave, Mavi for short, our first day when we just met, and all my fave memories till now.

Some days you need the music, but some days, you need the lyrics.

 

All of these games we play...

I am counting down days to several exciting things. I'm not spilling what they are just yet though, you know me, always superstitious and the last thing I need, is to fuck something up by talking about it before it happens. BUT! I wanted to take a moment to...I don't really know, record this moment in time? A moment in which I'm actually excited about the future? If you know me you know that's rare, and a reason to celebrate it and document it. 

It took me a while, ''a while'', lets face it an eternity is more like it than ''a while''...to come to terms with some things, one of it being, stop stressing over things that are not in your control. Maybe I might be a little bit of a control freak and accepting that I can't change certain things is very hard. But I want to do better, I want to, learn how to let go, if I can't change it, I won't be losing sleep about it. In theory. We all know as soon as I hit post and grab myself a glass (or a bottle) of wine, I'm right back at it, gnawing at my insides about wanting to change everything, me, my life, my surroundings, the world. It is nerve wracking. Maybe people can't really be changed, or helped. 

And I learned that I don't owe people shit, no interaction, not my time, not my love and damn straight no explanations for the things I do, or for the way I live my life. I do things my way, lets face it, I never wanted to be normal, I never wanted to follow some ''path'' or some ''guidelines. That's not me, that's not who I am. I'm weird, strange and unusual and truth to be told, I like it that way. Maybe I'm like a friend once said a ''glitch in the matrix''. I don't owe people no insights into my private life, cutting down screen time and limit to what I post has been the best choice I made in a long while. Privacy should be treasured and not everyone should have the privilege of an insight into it. I don't owe people an explanation of my feelings. This is how it is, this is what and how I feel and I don't feel like elaborating. People don't really care in the first place. 

I've actually realised along the way that most people don't deserve second chances, or your time, or love, or even sparing a second thought for them. All people do is disappoint you, all people do is let you down. And all you should do is leave them at the bottom of the grave they dug you. And my biggest issue with this is that I am tired, tired of the drama, tired of grown ass adults butt hurt over comments on Facebook, tired of hate speech, tired of hate mail, tired of hate hate. We have so many bigger problems than what some asshole called another online. We have so much rage and so much hatred and so little love, and it exhausts me you know. 

I'm tired mostly of humanity I think. Humans are too much. Too exhausting. Too stupid. Too slow. Too tiring. Too...everything. And I just need a break. So...I am done, done apologizing for being me. Yes I am confrontational sometimes, and blunt, and maybe rude at times, and too honest. Yes if you disrespect me or those I love I will destroy you with rethorics and if you hurt them I'll hurt you back twice as hard. I am so sick and tired of molding and changing myself to fit in a society I don't even want to be a part of in the first place. Tired of being silent in order not to insult idiots. So tired of putting everyones feelings before my own, when they have zero compassion for my own. Done. 

So! That is why focusing on the next few months, (baby steps when I say I am excited about the future guys) and all the exciting and good things they are bringing. And focusing mostly on myself, growth, love, passion, art,..and those few people around me I actually care about. If I can't make the world shut up for a moment to let me breathe, the next best thing I can do is create some peace and some happiness in my own world. 

Is this life for livin'? Oh, ease my mind, ease my mind...

Can you guys believe I attended two local concerts lately, and haven't yet bitched about them? It's coming don't worry. You know I have plenty to complain about. But other things first because they've been invading my thoughts like the plague. Relationship wise. Male need to protect at all cost. Is this a...biological instinct that remains from primitive times? Is this a hero instinct? Maybe protecting reputation? Proving their worth? Is it also just plain and simple fear or losing those you love? I've been thinking, many times...women don't want protectors (sure in some cases but not all the time), white horses and knights in shining armours. Women just want men they can rely on, men that love them, are there for them, men that listen, men that care. We're all a bit of a romantic, we all want those big romantic gestures, we all let our men ''save'' us from time to time, to make them feel like the hero but...what if this need to protect ends up pulling you apart?

Are you familiar with the work of Sergio Cupido, Romeo and Juliet? Two lovers pulled apart? Kinda like that. Beautiful artwork so amazingly captured by Sergio, the raw emotion, it's longing, pain, suffering. So what if the need to protect is just that? When your heart tells you one thing, and your mind another? In a way forbidden, impossible love just like Romeo and Juliet, is it not? 

It made me think, what do I even crave? Long for? A love so deep it would make the ocean envious. Breathless passionate kisses, with whispered promises. The feeling of...you know when suddenly all the love songs make sense, because you don't listen to them the same as you did, because suddenly, all of them are about a certain person. The kind of feelings writers write novels about...I crave a day when I can go back to drinking coffee, and stop putting milk in it just to match his eyes. Sometimes I crave simpler things, slow morning kisses that turn into more, hands roaming and worshipping every inch of your body. And sometimes I crave things that are completely impossible, for life to go back to normal, for most, not all but most, of the events in the past 5 years to never happen. To be able to swap my heart and brain for another liver, so I can drink more and think / feel less. I crave for the world to be a nicer kinder more accepting place, but that seems like the biggest fantasy of all. Maybe if we draw the line under all my sensless ramblings, we'll realise all I really crave and long for is happiness, but then again who doesn't? 

I don't know I guess I could also write what I don't crave? I won't. If I did, this would turn into a long ass post full of whining and complaining, and I know it's the last thing you guys want, just as much as it ties to this post, I don't think I crave live music as much no more. Concerts used to be everything I loved and craved but now...I think people kinda ruined that for me, like they do all good things in life. Concerts feel more like a chore, like something you have to do as opposed to something you want to do. When we put aside that all my favourites are avoiding Europe as is (I'm looking at you MCR and ATL), and the one biggest event of the year that I was looking forward to for a year was cancelled...all I got are local gigs and I think I wrote about those too many times. They are torture. 

I'll keep the complaints short. The first concert last month I was basically dragged to. All of the above aside, I don't really listen to the artist. In the past I used to love going to shows, giving a new (new for me that is) artist a fair chance, and then decide if I hate it or love it...lately not so much. I guess I'm easy or cheap, and you can buy me with cupons for free craft beer. However I was pleasantly surprised, this singer was...very much our local version of Bruce Springsteen. You know what I mean?  Fantastic musicians in his band, amazing raspy voice, and songs with lyrics you could each use as a whole movie script. People forget it's not just the music, lyrics should be equally important and I'm sorry but that whole, fuck me, lick me, suck me, type songs just do nothing to me. I want deep, profound, I want love, devotion, obsession. Music is supposed to move your soul not just your body.

Now the bad part of it all, the people. I HATE HATE HATE the people in general, but mostly people at local shows. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, I love to let my hair down, drink a cold beer, or two, or three, but what I don't do is stand in the front row, back to the stage the entire time, taking fucking selfies, hang on socials, videochat, talk so loud that you bother people around you because they can hear you OVER the music. Disrespectful to the artist. I want to slap every asshole behaving like this. And it's like a cultural thing, people come out to drink, to get drunk, to bother girls there alone and what's worse they bring their brats! I can not stand it. Please tell me since when are 9 pm shows considered playground for children ages 2 and up. Please pray tell what the fuck is wrong with parents having their offspring on their shoulders, UNDER the overhead speakers not only blocking the view for the rest of us which essentially makes you an asshole but also, no ear covers? Are you an idiot? This is rhetorical. I know you are. This is beyond irritating and it's making local shows hell. It's making them a chore. Lets not even get into support. Do you people know why support bands exist? To warm up the crowd, to get them excited, to maybe give a new unknown artist opening for a bigger star a chance to introduce them to a bigger audience. And what do people do? Not show up, ignore, TALK. I can not stand it. Each and every artist up there is giving his / her all for ungrateful people that might as well sit at home, drink and have youtube playing in the back. It's essentially the same only it's not ruining the experience for the rest of us. Actual music lovers. I know what this is though, most of the tickets were given free and the people that grabbed them? Selfish horrible people, took the chance for someone who would deserve it more and actually enjoy it. Lately it feels more like it's about being seen than actually doing anything purely because you want to. I miss the 80s also btw, when the sky was full of lighters not cellphones. 

Moving on. Second concert. A festival. I love the obvious lack of children on it and I love how the whole city center is closed down and turns into festival grounds, shops, bars, several stages, amazing. It's an annual thing, and I used to pretty much attend it each year, it was tradition with my dad, I guess lately...traditions mean little. I know I should do more to keep them going, but sometimes the very basic ''keep going'' feels impossible. It's a festival arranged by the local brewing company, and it was always free, that changed since Heineken bought it. Ironic isn't it? Huge company, tons of money, and they start charging the festival that a local small almost broke brewery always kept going for free. You can imagine that that choice lowered the amount of people going. But tell you what? Thank God. Thank God they got tickets and thank God there's less people, because people are unbearable and I can't tell you the amount of times I was pushed, hit, spilled on, hit on, or groped by drunk assholes before, who essentially only went to you guessed it, get drunk. Now when the entrance fee is what people call expensive (it really isn't 30 eur per day and you get the best artists in the region, out of who one will cost you more than 30 eur per concert) they're gone, and the rest of us can enjoy the music. Thank God, Satan and Judas for that. It was getting really boring to move out of the way, to keep an eye out for the crowd more than the stage, to get beer stains out of my clothes the next day...I swear I have a pair of cowboy boots that once took the hit that STILL reek of beer. But okay, the kid that spilled that on me at least had the decency to feel bad, tried to dry out my shoes with his hoody and bought me a drink. I'd be rude saying they're all assholes. Just. Most of them. 

All the memories of the festival are pretty blurry and a mess I can't tell you who I watched when, not because I'd drink, sad reality is last year I had to be the only 100% sober person there (driver) which made dealing with humanity harder. But I can tell you they had Airborne once and it was freaking amazing. This year? Baby Lasagna my beloved. Before you come after me with Eurovision preformers, let me point out Baby is Croatian and I knew of him before he even set foot on that Eurovision stage. And before we get political, I don't care why each preformer stood on stage instead of boycott, we all know that entire EU boycotting it will never happen, I did because it was important to me, but I'd never expect the artists to do the same, the real question here isn't why they were there, the real question is why one specific country was. But that's besides the point. Marko only did a few songs, I assume he was awfully tired, he came straight from Exit festival...and I missed the begining of the set because our public transportation is absolutely fucked. Hey here's a thought, dearest wanna be green politicians, why don't people use trains? I don't know...could it perhaps be the fact that THERE ARE NO TRAINS?! I was livid, I was angry, I was seething, and I was even angrier over the fact that people mope and complain, yet when they should complain to employees they are fucking silent, I end up being the only barking bitch in the fence, and I end up the rude one. Are you kidding me?! But I did get to hear my beloved ''Rim tim tagi dim'' and the brand new song with a video that just makes my soul happy, so that was worth the sauna that was last week. Seriously again, is this Europe or is this 10th circle of Dantes Inferno? You can catch videos on my IG (purpleskyline) just some quick pics, straight off the phone, unedited, I am lazy sorry. 

Second preformers. Local band. Straight from my hometown. Kinda. Singer lives here, director of one of my favourite museums. How amazing is that? Singer in a rock band by night and a museum director by day. They should make a comic book with such a hero. I aint even joking. I'll keep yapping about them short. There's nothing new for me to tell you about them, except that I absolutely love them, and the amount of times I saw them live? Well...I stopped counting at 40...and that was several years ago. If that tells you anything about love. Maybe that's the one thing that sorta brings the spark for live music back? Screaming along to your favourite songs? I guess that part never gets old. And you can tell this band is the audiences favourite. The feedback they get really is something else. Loud. We all know every single word, and I enjoyed every single second of the show, even when the guitarist renamed Baby Lasagna into Baby Tortellini (seriously Jernej what was that? Lol). Let me just point out that after all the years I still wish I lived in a ''street of Mashall Tito''. 

And the last preformer, the headliner if you will. Another new and first for me, huge musical legend in the Balkans and probably all across Europe too. I must admit I don't follow him too closely. I just always knew of him and he always had my respect as an amazing musician and lyric writer. I was...sketchy if I should stay till 2 in the morning and listen to his set, but since I missed some at the start, and had a new cold drink, and paid for what people say pricey ticket, I was like what the hell lets give him a chance. And you know what? I'm glad I did, this my friends was something else. The music? Everything composed so perfectly, the complexity of different instruments blended together in an amazing melody? Wow. The voice? Yes! And in the end, the songs? Deep, poetic, caress your soul type of songs, just what I was rambling about up there. The whole package, everything fits, everything makes sense, everything is beautiful. Everything is...it makes you forget about where you are for a second and nothing exists but that moment, the music, and you. The world and mostly your problems, they melt away. Maybe that's what I loved most about music, the sheer power of making you feel, forget, fall in love all over again. The memories. The emotion. Everything really. I always had this strong belief that music can break and destroy barriers, unite people, bring more love and light into the world. I have this theory you know, it's a little silly but let me have it okay? Why does metal music use so many skulls in their insignia, logos, stage, clothes etc? Because a skull is a skull. You can't tell by the skull if the person is white, black, Asian, Christian, Muslim, rich, poor, gay, woman, man...a skull will always be a skull, and these things don't matter, we're all human, we're all people at the end of the day, metal music don't care, they accept and love everyone. That's what music is to me, a safe space, accepting, loving, happy. What it should be anyways, how much of that is still true is another story. Anyway back to the show. I loved it. So much. Every moment. And I loved it when the singer leaped off the stage, joined the crowd and everyone was polite, moved, make way, nobody was pushing, touching him, nobody caused any problems, tbh security pushing ahead through the crowd was the rudest and completely unneeded. Because there was nothing but good vibes. Was a good moment tbh and another first. I seen a shit ton of concerts but never once was a musician in the crowd instead of on the stage. I'd say they should do this more often but lets be serious, people are animals. 

That's all the complaints I can muster up today. Stay hydrated in this heat kids and stay safe. Cheers, live it up, it's the weekend. 

''History huh? I bet we could make some.''

You know what I love about books? They allow you to get away. Run. Get lost in a world that's not your own. Forget. Disappear for a while. Live a life that's better than yours, or at least easier than yours. Maybe that's why I love fantasy and romance, but hate crime. I've been...not lazy with reading lately, just preoccupied with other things. When it's about art or reading, art always wins. I think as much as running off to different worlds can be soothing, so is watching a pencil glide on a fresh new sheet of paper. My dopamine, fresh sharpened pencils, and a new block of white paper, endless possibilities to create. Tell you what though, I don't miss the frustrations or tearing my hair out when something goes wrong though. Like my favourite white pen being sold out everywhere, what is this? Insanity? Have you all lost your mind?! Maybe that's why I'm constantly stuck on the next thing, the next drawing, because it allows me to get away. Lost in the careful lines I'm making, or the precise shading I focus on, one tiny square centimeter at a time. 

Anyways I made it a point to read at least one LGBTQ related book during Pride month and since June is running out that's exactly what I did. Picked up a gay romance novel that's been sitting on my desk since...July 20th 2022. Yes I can give you an accurate date, no I am not psycho (a little but not in this situation) but I know because I bought it in Vienna before a Guns n' Roses concert. Lets not assume new releases make it here or that we're open minded enough to read gay books. The horror you guys! Two boys in love! It's the end of the world I tell you. A friend of mine does the same, reads LGBTQ books during Pride month, his choice of the month was ''Call me by your name'' which I read a while back and you can read about here ( click ), and I chose ''Red white and Royal blue'' by Casey McQuiston.

This is another ''I saw the movie before I read the book situation''. I know you guys, you don't have to say it, I'm a sinner that keeps sinning. Abomination after abomination. If there's a literary god he or she will come down just to smite me into atoms for this. 

I was intrigued from the get go because can you imagine the scandal! The first son, the son of the president of America AND a crown Prince of England? In an affair! That would be such a juicy scandal, I'm over here cursing because it's not real. Also it made me think while reading the book, what would happen if a Prince or a Princess felt this way? The crown would never allow it to be public, so they'd be forced to what, hide all their life? Marry somone they decide is a good catch, and live a fake life to please the masses? How fucked up is that? Are we still at a point where we feel people aren't supposed to be happy with who they love, because their love is different? Are we still in a place where we condemn a person, because of love. Love, you guys. Love that should be celebrated, love is the closest thing we have to magic, and the thing that is running low these days. It's so easy to hate, it's so easy to ''fall in hatred'' but it is so hard to commit, to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to fall in love...we should do more of that. No matter who with. We should take every opportunity to be happy and to feel love.

The two main characters of this book are Alex, son of the President of USA, who btw is a woman! Divorced, from Texas, Hispanic ex husband. You can tell it's fiction just from this aye? Lol. Someday maybe. Alex is a student, big into politics, big into making changes, making peoples lives better, he's cocky, he's confident, he's sure of himself, to a point where he comes off as arrogant at times, to everyone around him, except those who actually know him. I think we all know the type right? And then you have Henry. The Prince. Second child of the heir to the throne, I believe that's what the Britts call the ''spare''. Ever considered how ugly that is? You have a second child as a ''spare'' so the bloodline lives in case something happens to the oldest child? Again. Fucked up. Alex and Henry are the perfect opposites because while Alex is cocky and aloof, Henry is reserved, and maybe not shy, maybe rather coy? Calm. Quiet. He's a Prince in every sense of the word, when he has to he knows how to turn on the charm and be the perfect picture of the crown Prince, that people expect. I believe he himself said it best, ''Prince Henry belongs to the people'' and that's what he is, a perfect image for the people. This image of perfection doesn't rub well on Alex though, who has a problem with Henry since the second they met. 

On the surface they both despise eachother, but as you dug deeper in the story, you see this is the furthest from the truth as it could be. The feud started with, was it the Olympics? I think so, which were one of Alex's first events as the first son, Henry being used to the sodding circus and heartbroken over the loss of his father, came off as rude, and perhaps condescending to a very nervous Alex who got it in his head that the Prince hates him. Wouldn't it be nice if people just learned to communicate? Just talk. Speak. Open your mouth. Voice your opinion, not everyone will agree, but at least you were heard. 

So years later these two met again at a wedding, that is Henrys older brothers wedding, we all know what a big deal Britts make of Royal weddings right? I think the entire bloody country stops for a week just to celebrate it. How...I lack the proper word to convey how pointless I find Royals in the year 2024. Idiotic. And this whole feud between Henry and Alex could go under the radar if not for a huge cake covered scandal. I laughed out loud at that, because it is hilarious that accidentally smashing a 75, 000 dollar cake (seriously tho??) can cause an all out international dispute. So with the pressure of getting re-elected the President of USA sends her son back to England to ''smooth'' things over with Henry. Fix their international affairs. Let me tell you thoug it was more than affairs he was fixing. Lol. Seriously though with two ''mortal enemies'' and an international stage like this, what could possibly go wrong? 

It's funny because in the begining it was nothing but duty to their country, to their family that kept them obeying orders and tolerating each other. Smiling through the pain if you will. But that rather quickly changed to an unlikely friendship after being forced in a supply closet, during a possible shooting threat. Ah this reminds me of seven minutes of heaven, no wonder truth came spilling out. Honest conversation you guys that was all it took, to smooth things out. Talking, texting, addmittedly in the begining a lot of it was insults but texting insults went into full on love letters. Electronic that is. (Big mistake). A lot of the story is told through their text and email exchange. I'm still deciding overall if I like this or not. I mean in a way it seems like fillers but on the other hand it gives you a better insight into the character itself. 

I am going insane over the fact that it's a New Years party, where drinks are flowing, emotions are running high, the Prince who kisses Alex and sends him reeling. A literal kiss from the Prince you guys! I mean you know I'm a gothic Barbie at best, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the irony of a Princes or true loves kiss on midnight. It came out that Henry liked Alex from the first moment and Alex was just daft. Which man isn't? Tell me ladies, how many times do we find ourselves explaining something to our men, that they are just completely oblivious to seeing? Too many times, that's how many. I gotta tell you, I absolutely loved the slow build up of their relationship, the exploration, mostly Alex, Henry know who he is from the get go, and that's apparently ''as gay as a maypole'', lol. Any Britts round here? The hell is a maypole, and why is it gay? (*Update, I got the response that it's a ''tall wooden erected pole, around which people dance during midsummer. Suddenly everything makes sense. To my SI readers, this is apparently what we call a ''mlaj''.) Alex learning about himself, and his feelings and what it all means...I loved it. Not because Casey did a really good job of conveying the message but also because it made me think about how many Alex's are out there. Maybe a book like this is exactly what they need to be brave themselves. 

It makes you think though, their relationship, their romance, it's impossible, it's doomed from the get go, like a tragic Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah, Cathy and Heathcliff, Tristan and Isolde. Nothing but tradgedy. But fear not my lovelies this book does not end tragic. You know me, you know I can't stomach books with unhappy endings, and you know my best friend, you know he proof reads endings for me. It's hilarious watching peoples faces when we go buy books together, I'm a visual being, I'll pick up a book if I like the illustration on the cover, I'll hand it to him to read last two pages, and then it's either ''uh huh sister this is not for you'' or ''awww you're going to love this'' that decides if I buy it or not. I guess in a way...that's love too. Understanding that committing to a whole long ass book just to be disappointed by the end really isn't my cup of tea, and doing everything in his power to prevent it. 

It's funny you know because...I don't think this book is targeted at teenagers, and I'm pretty sure some saucy bits could make parents blush, but thinking about it, what it would mean for confused and lost teenagers to read such a book, to maybe understand better, to cope. To allow themselves to love. Hell I know I'd love books when I was younger that would make me understand me. Not sexually speaking though we've all established I may be bisexual, Angela Bassett, that's all your fault, so help me Jesus. On a serious note, parents have the talk with their kids, about the birds and bees and all that crap, I think we all had it at some point, awkward and bizarre...but let me ask you this, parents assume, they give you the safe sex speech, but...what if you're not in fact straight? Or just confused...my point is, I'm glad such books exist now, so that the LGBTQ kids have something uplifting to read and feel less alone. Let me point out again, if any of you out there need a safe space to talk, vent, cry, laugh, celebrate, confess, leave me a message here, I promise you, this space is always a safe space to talk. 

A lot of the story revolves around politics, the race to get another Presidental campaign, the campaign itself. Running for office, the press, the duties of Royalty etc. It's all...overwhelming, not to you as a reader but just thinking, the lack of freedom and the sorta opression they all live under. I'm not going to babble endlessly about the book, you have to read it, I'm not spilling the ending either, but! I will tell you about what I loved the most. 

Firstly, Zahra. She's the Presidents deputy chief of staff, often forced to essentially ''babysit'' the Presidents son, or rather fix up the messes he makes. I found that oddly, familiar, I often find myself in the same situation. But I loved her. Funny. Witty. When she told Henry she will ''Brexit his head from his body'' I laughed out loud. 

And secondly. The date. THE FREAKING DATE! I would sell my soul to Satan to have someone take me out like this. Or murder. Jury still out on that. I'm kidding. Maybe. Seriously guys, Henry took Alex in a freaking museum, in the middle of the night, when it was empty, to dance in front of an altar, joking to see if it will catch on fire. Lol. Not to mention he had everything memorised and could explain all artefacts, where they come from and what they mean. Sure a Prince should know his country's history, even if it's all stolen. But for real, I am frothing at the mouth, I am chewing glass, I am crying glitter. The perfection. Me and who? When? A date like this is everything in my book. I mean I'm not saying I didn't have a...simmilar...type of date, but the romance of this is killing me. Perfection defined on those couple of pages. 

And a couple of words on the movie, it's good sure, cast was chosen fantastic, Alex's sister apparently killed off, but of course it's nothing like the book. I think it's a staple we can surely always use. The book is always ALWAYS better than the movie. BUT! And this is exciting, the movie is getting a sequel! I went all iiiiiiiip when I heard about that. I mean it probably won't be based on a book like this is, since there is no book, but can you imagine they get married in the sequel? Oh. My. God. Now that is a royal wedding I could watch. 

Any books you recently read and loved? Re read maybe? Let me know in the comments, always open to new suggestions, that I then never get to read. I am a hopeless case like I said many times before. 

Sanctuary.

When the darkness don't let you sleep, I'ma hold you close,
And when space is all you need, I can let you go,
And if the spark in your eye goes out, I can be your glow,
Bringing you home, yeah, Bringing you home.

I see your hurt, I feel your pain,
All of our dirt is washed in the rain,
I've walked that road, I've felt that shame,
No place is home but times, they are changin'.

This is our sanctuary, we can find shelter and peace,
This is our sanctuary you are, you are safe with me.

When the race starts to take its toll, you can slow me down,
'Cause we both know that the world's turned cold,
And I just need you now,
Keep holding on, hold onto me, hold on.

You see my hurt, you feel my pain, 

All of our dirt is washed in the rain,
You've walked that road, you've felt that shame,
No place is home but times, they are changin'.

This is our sanctuary, we can find shelter and peace,
This is our sanctuary, you are, you are safe with me.

We share this hurt, we share the pain,
All of our dirt is washed in the rain,
We've walked that road, we've felt that shame,
Mmh, times, they are changin.

Our sanctuary, 
You are safe with me.