I've been doing too much thinking lately (this should really say drinking not thinking). I know, I know, about time you run away and stop reading. It's been overthinking really, driving myself crazy over the dumbest things. You know what's it like, your mind creating scenarios that couldn't be farther from the truth, it's true what people say we and our minds are our worst possible enemies, nothing can hurt us quite as much as we hurt ourselves.
This overthinking was about social media though, you know how I feel about sites like Facebook or Instagram or anything of the sort (TikTok god forbid), think the only social media I actually love and enjoy is Tumblr. We're all crazy (she said lovingly) there. I don't really know why I'm still using Facebook at this point, like honest to god are they all crazy there? Not Tumblr crazy but actually crazy. But point is recently, (recently lol it's been a year) I've had an art only account on IG and though that's something I was SO opposed to the entire time it hasn't actually been a bad experience all together.
I think what really discouraged me from starting an art account was literally fear. I haven't had too many positive experiences regarding art in ''real life'' so I didn't expect anything better on social media. Add actual bad experiences in general on social media to that and you literally ask yourself why bother. But this post is not going to be about me bitching over social media it's actually going to be about the fact that I came to realize that starting an art account was a good thing.
I get so frustrated with it sometimes, Instagram seems intended on only showing you art from people that are so much better than you are and it sucks. It really kills your confidence, but it shouldn't. Even the greatest artists started somewhere, even they were constantly learning and evolving and improving. And I have to say in general, the nice people messaging, the nice people in comments, all the love and support, it's really been a pleasant experience all together. We all need some reasuring sometimes, and nothing boosts your confidence more than support from other artists or just people that appreciate what you do.
Of course there's still so much negativity, people are rude just to be rude, or demand things from you, or assume because you're an artist you're going to draw them things for free. I always ask those people if they go to a grocery store asking for free vegetables too, to this day I haven't had one answer to that question, though I think we can all figure it out ourselves.
My point here is, sometimes you need someone to push you to do something you don't want to do, someone to push you out of your comfort zone, push you to do something you may be afraid of. Someone did that for me too, there was this one decisive moment that made me want to try and seek for more exposure for my art. So if you're looking for a sign if you should try as well, then this is it. You guys, be brave and try it out. It could be amazing.
In honor of that, I'm sharing the memory, the moment that changed everything for me. It's written in third person and was actually posted on my other blog (lots of recycled posts lately). Oh and because I get complaints all the time about my language and mentions of things, the post below is just a tiny bit explicit. You've been warned.
''They sat across from each other behind a table in a dimly lit restaurant, just staring at each other. Her eyes wandered from his gaze to his lips to his neck, she flushed when he saw her staring like that. ''So you're not religious?'' he asked randomly, eyes glued to a pendant of Mother Mary hanging around her neck next to a well worn guitar pick. Not that he was particulary spiritual, he was raised a Christian and that was about it. Tradition more then faith.
She shook her head and took another sip of her drink. ''What do you believe in then? Love?''. ''Sometimes''. ''Friendship?''. ''God no''. He smirked and leaned back. ''Sex?''. ''Yes, very much so''. A wolfish grin appeared on his face. It was absolutely stunning. She smiled back at him batting her lashes a little bit. ''Music?''. ''Totally''. Another hot smirk, the restaurant seemed to be heating up, or was that just her? ''I thought so, I can imagine that guitar pick around your neck isn't just decoration, what do you play?''. ''My dad's old telecaster''. ''Nice!'' What does he know about guitars? She wondered but never asked out loud. Instead she smiled politely and drank some more.
''Music is your talent then?''. ''Passion if nothing else''. She hated bragging. ''I see, so you're talented in music, you speak a few languages, amazing organisational skills, driving like Senna ...I've seen some of your photography work and I was impressed, don't tell me you have more hidden talents? It's hardly even fair.'' Smirking she put down her glass. ''Well I have two more''. ''Amuse me'' he said offering her another smile, white teeth shining brightly in the candle light.
''I could show you but, it would end bad, since this talent of mine involves...activities''. As soon as he realized what she's aiming at a soft blush appeared on his cheeks. It was adorable. ''And the other?'' he asked, voice a husky whisper. ''Really wanna know?'' nodding he studied her face carefully, waiting for another shoe to drop. She giggled grabbing her paperwork laying carelessly in front of her, looking for a blank one and a pencil. ''What are you doing?''. ''Sit down, shut up and look pretty. If anything that shouldn't be too hard for you''.
He smiled at her mockery and leaned back. Her eyes scanned his features while her hand made swift moves on the paper. She drew quickly and with ease, he was staring at her face, full of concentration and thought. His face was beautiful, nose, eyes, long lashes, it was so easy to draw, like her hand was just gliding on the paper on it's own accord. 15 minutes later she stopped and looked at him once again. ''Ready?'' He nodded. Turning the paper over he was met with a quick yet detailed sketch of his own face. His eyes widened a little bit and he grinned. ''Amazing''. ''It's nothing, compared to others I'm just an amateur''.
Shaking his head slowly he looked at her more sincere. ''Never doubt yourself, even the great Mikelangelo started somewhere'' She smiled as his accent at Michelangelo's name. Did he just compare them? He must be crazy. ''Thank you I guess''. ''You are very welcome, now let's eat I'm hungry''. Rolling her eyes she smiled and moved her things off the table. He probably didn't know how much of a difference he made, she needed some encouragment in her life and that's excatly what he gave her. ''By the way, I want that drawing when it's done, so I can brag around with it when you get famous one day''. Silly. But sweet. And it meant the world.''
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