Heaven isn't too far away.

Now the lights are going out, along the boulevard, memories come rushing back and makes it pretty hard.

I've got nowhere left to go and no one really cares, I don't know what to do but I'm never giving up on you.

Heaven isn't too far away closer to it every day, no matter what your friends might say we'll find our way.

Rest in peace angel.

February 1, 1964 - August 11, 2011

Take me back cause I need to be reminded what I left behind me so far away. Take me back cause I need to feel the fire, yesterday's desire ain't far away.

''I can't tell ya baby what went wrong I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago, I'll let it show. I can't give you back what's been hurt, heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words I can't let go. If we take some time to think it over baby, take some time let me know if you really wanna go.

Don't know what you got till it's gone, don't know what it is I did so wrong, now I know what I got, it's just this song and it ain't easy to get back, takes so long.''

Did you ever notice how pain comes in waves? Sometimes nothing and sometimes it hits you full force? Sometimes you're completly alright, dare I say happy? And sometimes all you know is pain, pain, pain.

It's been a long week. Long hard week. And I sat here for an hour just thinking what to write about. Complain about the weather? Jesus summer go home you're drunk. This is Europe not hell. Well, feels like hell in more ways the one anyways, so I guess close enough. Should I give you another speech about any of the many things that bother me? About all the things that are wrong and ugly and unfair on this planet? Would I even make a difference?

I suppose I wouldn't. I picked a record to write about. Chester Bennington's death, literally swept the rug from underneath me and I am still processing and healing, it doesn't seem to hurt any less, thinking I'll never get to see him live again, thinking what an amazing man and kind caring soul was taken away from us by something as ugly as depression, thinking about his family and best friends…that is unbearable. So I've been listening to a lot of different music, to distract myself. Lord knows if I play their album I'd be a sobbing mess within minutes…

So it's this instead…

You don't know what you got till it's gone? Aint that the truth?

I love Tom Keifers voice. I absolutely love it and to think we almost couldn't get to enjoy it. He has been cursed with performance problems for so many years due to paralysis of one of his vocal cords, horrible situation for any singer. Yet I mean, would it be so bad if it happened to someone like Justin Bieber or would it actually be a blessing from above? Think about it…

Either way I believe that Long cold winter is not just Cinderella's finest moment but one of the best moments in 1980's hard rock. Yes you heard me hard rock. Calling them hair metal is just plain rude. They are so underrated it's not even funny. Sure they looked all poofed out on the back cover but under all the hair and makeup *yeah yeah hair metal I get it* their sound really more reminds of like 1970's southern rock. Did you pay attention to the inner sleeve? The cowboy hat? And live covers of Sweet home Alabama? Or Tom Keifer singing on a top 10 country album by Andy Griggs, okay it was what 14 years later but still. Not to mention the themathics, country songs have this eternal theme of trying to find your way back home, but isn't that what Gypsy road and The last mile and of course Coming home are all about?

This album is a step up for Cinderella if you ask me, I love Night songs but honestly this one is better in so many ways. This new found sound they got, a bit of bluesy rock kinda like the Stones you know. But we're at it again the ballad Don't know what you got, which I love don't get me wrong is what made them most commercial success. To be honest though the combination of those pop rock hooks and serious badass rock n roll on other songs such as Fallin apart at the seams is what done it for me. Amazing album, sound, lyrics. An amazing mix of screeching rock and bitter blues. Not to mention the lyrics, Tom is completly underrated as a song writer, you can hear just how much of his soul he bared on this record and he would deserve a lot more credit.

Night songs was all about hard rock, party all night long and basically sex. It was fun, but Long cold winter started picking up on some other influences which helped them find their own thing, their own voice. The acoustic blues parts that slowly transition into that well known hard rock sound are really cool, they actually remind me more of Aerosmith then of their first album.

Fun fact; did you know that Fred Coury their drummer was touring with Guns N' Roses almost through the entire recording process of Long cold winter. Steven Adler broke his hand while punching a wall. Really Stevie, really? Lol. Denny Carmassi and later Cozy Powell *R.I.P.* stepped in to help.

Bad seamstress blues is where I think it shows most clearly that the band has grown up and changed. In a good way mind you. The electric blues and organs and ''moaning guitar''. Not to mention how Tom stretches his voice almost to a breaking point. I'm willing to bet this right here was pretty much the first taste of blues rock if not blues alone that many hard rock loving fans got in the 80's.

Followed by Gypsy road and Fallin' apart at the seams which are holy shit amazing, they're hard rock, they're totally badass. That voice! My god. People call these two songs hair metal songs, which is why I don't like people. To be honest they only made one ''hair metal'' album which is Night songs, after that, their music sounded a lot more like Aerosmith rather then Poison. No offence to Poison either. I love them. But if you're still doubting then please, go check out their third album Heartbreak station, if you still hear hair metal there then all hope is lost for you.

Don't know what you got (till it's gone), power ballad. Epic one, radio stations still play it. Beautiful song to be honest. Tom's voice on it is really beautiful and that great guitar solo in between is also a total hair raising moment.

I really liked ''If you don't like it'' classic rock song which is follwed by three amazing songs, Coming home, which to be honest is the song that I was hooked up on almost more then Don't know what you've got, I like the vibe, the feeling, it's obvious they wrote songs while on the road. Then you've got Fire and ice, totally heavy and it totally stands out, for me at least. And then the album closes with Take me back, kinda the same vibe as Coming home yet a lot heavier, but an amazing closing song to such a great record.

Long cold winter is and will remain my favorite album they've put out and one of my favorite 80's rock albums in general. People lately are childish, ''embarrassed'' to admit they like something that was labeled ''hair band'' once. Like Poison. Well shit I still like Poison, Nothing but a good time, Talk dirty to me, So tell me why, Your mama don't dance and obviously Every rose has it's thorn are totally my jams and I aint ashamed to say I love them, so do expect me turning up the volume when either Poison or Cinderella come on.

Here's a life lesson for you kids, be who you are, don't be afraid to liking what you like, and loving who you love. No matter what people say. They have no right to tell you who to be or how to live your life.

''I can't feel the things that cause you pain, I can't clear my heart of your love, it falls like rain, ain't the same. I hear you calling far away, tearing through my soul I just can't take another day, Who's to blame. If we take some time to think it over baby, take some time let me know if you really wanna go...

Don't know what you got till it's gone, don't know what it is I did so wrong, now I know what I got it's just this song and it ain't easy to get back, takes so long...

Do you wanna see me beggin' baby, can't you give me just one more day? Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately, I've been lookin' for the words to say.''

♥

If they say who cares if one more light goes out, in the sky of a million stars..it flickers, flickers. Who cares when someone's time runs out? If a moment is all we are, or quicker, quicker. Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do.

Why is everything so heavy?

''I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared, but no one would listen 'cause no one else cared.

After my dreaming, I woke with this fear, what am I leaving, when I'm done here?''

I write too many of these posts lately, and it never gets easier. It never hurts any less. And I can never find proper words. This time though, it seems it hurts twice as much. Maybe because it brings up memories you don't want to talk about, maybe because you can't bare the idea of someone you care about hurting in any kind of way. Maybe because it's hard to understand that someone who made you that much happier was suffering all along. Maybe because someone you used to look up to is just gone. Maybe it's the pain itself. I don't know. I know that it hurts like hell. That much I do know.

I grew up with Linkin park. I could tell you right now where I was and what I was doing almost 14 years ago when I heard them for the first time. I never fit in all through middle school or high school, I never had a lot of friends or any real friends it seems. I had my music and that was my comfort. There's bands I loved for as long as I can remember, bands that grew up with me. Bands I care about as much as I care about my own family. Probably more then most of my family though *if you'd meet them you'd understand* so when the news hits that one of them passed away...it's always hard, it always hurts, it always feels like a tiny part of who I am just died as well.

When the news first hit about Chester Bennington yesterday I just laughed. I was positive that it's just one of those disgusting jokes. You know how actors and musicians ''die'' all the time? Some time back it was Jon Bon Jovi, last month it was Mr. Bean, there's always someone so I thought this is a joke because nothing and I do mean nothing could prepare me for this being real. I tried to ignore it even when reliable sources were posting about it until Mike Shinoda tweeted that it's not a joke and completly crushed my heart. I felt like someone reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. I can't even imagine how the boys are feeling at this point if I feel this much pain.

I waited for a long time *almost 10 years* to see them live and I finally did almost three years ago now. They were on tour with Of mice and men, another one of my favorites, and it's safe to say it was amazing. From the first moment they came on stage with a loud bang to the last. Amazing show, amazing energy, amazing music. Down to the very last detail. I joked then, don't make me wait another 10 years to see you again...little did I know...

Hybrid Theory really opened me up to a whole new world of music, music I never thought I'd like or hell even listened to. They made me see the world a little different and all through my middle school years they made life bearable. They made me feel less alone and less like a god damn freak. And most of all they made me stronger, knowing all the shit Chester went through from being molested by family, to being homeless, to drug addiction and he overcame everything, he was strong through it all. Really someone to look up to. I will be forever thankful for that.

So today I am just really gutted, shocked, heartbroken and in a state of catatonic shock. I can't believe this is real and I will need time to process. Time to heal. A lot of time probably. Skinned knees are easy but broken hearts take time. If they ever do completly heal. I have a request though, don't remember him for the way he died, remember him for the life he lived and for the change he made in all of our lives. Remember his kindness, loving nature, how humble and down to earth he was. Hold on to the strength and comfort their music gave you. That's what he would of wanted...

And to you guys, please, I am begging you, if you know someone who is depressed, someone who is struggling, if you are, please reach out, don't let them or yourself suffer in silence. If you see someone acting differently, help them, if you can't then point them towards someone who can, if you see someone crying in the street, stop, take a second, help them. And if you yourself are not strong enough to do it then please, just make sure they find someone who is capable of helping them. We are all in this mess together, depression is a nasty thing, and it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to need help sometimes and it's okay to ask for it. We have to help eachother. If you need someone to listen, I'll be here, no judgment, just as a friend, don't be afraid to reach out...

And to you my sweet angel. Nobody will ever replace you and I will miss you everyday. I'm so sorry that the world was so ugly to you that you saw no other way out. My heart goes out to the band, the family, the friends and the fans. Stay strong guys.

''When my time comes forget the wrong that I've done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. And don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest...''

Girls in black.

Have I mentioned before how much I hate local events? It's not the events alone, those are great. It's the people. People are awful. I will never ever never for the love of me understand why you go to a concert and get so damn drunk that you don't even know your own name much less where or why you were last night. Did I say how this guy was asleep through the entire GN'R set last Monday? I mean it's crazy. There are literal rock legends in front of you, the tickets cost a small fortune and you're too drunk to care. It's just...horrible. The bands deserve better too.

This time I was losing my mind at a local ''beer and flowers'' festival. Honestly it's more about beer then it is about flowers. Gallons and gallons of beer. And you know I'm no nun. I like whiskey. I like beer. I like just about anything containing alcohol. I like to have a drink every now and then but I never get drunk. Why? Because I know that thing called ''drinking responsibly''. There is absolutely nothing attractive about being completly wasted. And I wouldn't even care but I can't stand being hit on by random men, being groped by random men too, and I can't stand jumping outta way from being walked on, spilled over, thrown up on. It's exhausting. You come to listen to a band you like, yet people take all the fun out of it.

But enough about that, let's focus on Airbourne. I wanted to see them for a long time but I never got the chance. Imagine my happiness when I get the news that they're coming to my own country. A country nothing ever comes to. Miracle. Since it was a festival there were bands before them, and I actually watched Samantha Fox and found myself enjoying it. That was a crazy unexpected thing because honestly I didn't know her music at all before except of course ''Touch me''. She was actually really badass. People weren't though so by the time when she was done and I was already showered with beer *there was beer in my god damn cowboy boots* I decided to give up and play along. If you can't beat them join them right? A little harmless flirting *why would a girl pay for her own drinks?* and a drink or two later I didn't care no more either. And by the time Airbourne came on I was totally chill.

Now Airbourne. Holy shit they are wild! I swear the bass line was so strong my teeth were vibrating. In a good way though. Nothing like hard, fast music you can really let loose to and headbang and just go crazy. You know what I mean?

So the lights go down and they come to the stage like a god damn tornado. The crowd was just as wild from the first song to the last. Probably not too sober but let's not go there again. There were ''Too much, too young, too fast'' and ''Girls in black'', fantastic songs, even better live. Then of course there were songs from the most recent album. I loved how people were singing along to all songs, sometimes they only know the old or most known songs but no, they knew everything and it was amazing.

There was a moment too, right before they went into ''It's all for rock and roll'' where Joel explained that without Lemmy they wouldn't be where they are today and he was like ''so this one's for you Lem'' and of course the crowd responded with a wild roar. We all miss Lemmy it seems. There's something about the song too ''all around the world he left his mark and his ghost still haunts the stage''. It fits. I'm sure Lem would be proud of what the guys are doing today, maybe mostly of this particular song too, you can really hear Motorheads influence in it.

It went on with songs such as ''Raise the flag'', ''Breaking out of hell'' which I thought was just mindblowing and of course ''I'm going to hell for this''. Then the encore which hah was actually my favorite song of theirs ''Live it up''. Great song. In the middle of it they stop and they play a little game ''who wants a beer from Joel?''. He was histerical, threw a shit ton of beer cups into the crowd while giggling like a child in a candy store. No, he was adorable, really. Safe to say we weren't, I'm guessing at the end of the night we all smelled like an old dirty bar. If I had beer in my boots before the show, after it even my underwear was soaked. I'm not even joking. No wonder the band loved the concert here so much, their stage was literally right under a brewery, they probably had a hose pulled straight out of it or something.

The set ends with ''Running wild'' and Joel telling us that as long as all of us are alive Rock n roll will never die. Right on.

I think that if anyone had any doubts before the concert if they are or aren't one of the best live, metal, rock, hard rock bands out there, they sure showed them. They have such energy, so much power, they're so wild! You can not not love them. Joel is such a great front man, splitting open beer cans on your head? Who does that? Hah. Justin and Harri are also amazing, shit that headbanging...and did you know they have an old siren on stage? That was histerical really.

It was a great show, despite people complaining, firstly about ticket prices *like 15EUR is too much for such a band?* and secondly about music. They must be deaf.

The festival also has a spectacular fire, water, laser, firework show. It was completly out of this world. In tune with the music and completly breath taking. I never had fireworks exploading right above my head it was something else not going to lie. Here's the deal last time I was at this festival was probably 10 years ago. I was a kid, couldn't have a beer and didn't care about any of the bands playing so obviously I didn't care much about it. Not to mention drunks really ruined the moment for me so I once said ''never again''. We see how well that worked out right, but to be honest I'm glad I was there, it really was something else. And I might even consider going again next year. Who knows.

That's it from me for this week, I'm taking a little break. Cheers, have fun and stay safe.

I'll never find anyone to replace you, guess I'll have to make it through, this time, oh this time, without you.

Heal me, I'm heartsick. Drowning. Barely breathing. My mind is swimming somewhere up in the clouds, my feet are no longer on the ground. I'm restless as a storm...Maybe a little broken, maybe a little sad and lost but mostly happy. So fucking happy. And I never want this moment to end. I never want to let it go. It's addictive and it's intoxicating.

I'm sitting here staring at this blank page. Trying to pour all my love, devotion, dedication and mostly feelings into this post. It's hard to start it. It's hard to write it. It's hard to put it into words. Hard to even find words that would describe these feelings. How I feel right now? Excited? Lovesick? Heartsick? I feel like if my feet weren't planted firmly on the ground I'd just float away. If my head wasn't screwed on so tightly I'd lose it some place already. I feel like all the bad has melted away. All the ugly in the world is just...gone.

I love so much music, so many bands. I've seen so many bands, some more then once. But despite my adoration towards The Boss and Motley Crue and Skid Row and Warrant and Leppard and Bon Jovi and...ah what the hell you get the point...I think I can safely say that Guns N' Roses are a romance that's been going on my whole life. You know those baby books pregnant women have? Oh, right, is that even cool anymore? These days a child doesn't even exist unless ultrasound pictures and everything else is posted all over social media or blogs or whatever else. Listen kids, back in the day where there was no such thing as social media *holy shit am I really that old?* women kept books where they wrote in notes, glued in pictures and such. My mom used to have one, she'd write in interesting things, I learned I was a problem child since before I was born. Hah. Who knew. What I also learned though is that I had some sort of adoration towards GN'R since before I was born. And then after when I didn't sleep I'd listen to November rain which aparently always did the trick. Here we are 25 years later and the romance is as strong as it was from day one. Well actually a lot stronger.

Oh GN'R words can't actually describe how much I adore you. If you ask any of my friends they will all tell you the same things. How much their music annoys them purely because I always listen to it. How much I annoy them because all I talked about for the past ten years was a reunion and how I'd sell both my kidneys to see it happen. And how much I annoy them now with my ''unhealthy obsession'' *seriously it's dedication not an obsession* with this band. But how do you begin to describe something that makes you happy to be alive, something that awakeness your soul, makes you reach out for more, makes you bold and brave, plants a fire in your heart and calms down the storm in your mind? That's what they do. They make me feel alive and calm and happy and content and strong. It's not just a song anymore, just a band, just a tour or an album. It's so much more. And I love them so much more then just a band who's music you happen to enjoy.

Nothing is as calming as those perfect guitar riffs, bass line or that amazing voice. That voice that makes shivers run up and down my spine, skin tingle and butterflies erupt in my stomach. Nothing makes everything alright in an instant quite like Estranged does. There is nothing like those beautiful lyrics, amazing guitar riffs and Matt Sorum's *I'm so sorry Stevie* amazing tap style drumming, and that voice, so melancholic so full of emotion. That song to me is pure genius. Nothing is quite as satisfying as lying in the dark, headphones on and this song as loud as possible, completly lost in it. Lost in those emotions it gives you. Amazing.

So nobody ever told us baby how it was gonna be, so what'll happen to us baby, guess we'll have to wait and see.

When I find out all the reasons maybe I'll find another way, find another day. With all the changing seasons of my life, maybe I'll get it right next time. And now that you've been broken down, got your head out of the clouds, you're back down on the ground, and you don't talk so loud, and you don't walk so proud, any more, and what for...

Well I jumped into the river too many times to make it home, I'm out here on my own, and drifting all alone. If it doesn't show give it time, to read between the lines 'cause I see the storm is getting closer, and the waves they get so high, seems everything we've ever known's here why must it drift away and die.

I'll never find anyone to replace you guess I'll have to make it through, this time, oh this time, without you...

Pure genius. Now my undying love, adoration, admiration aside…Remember the stunt they pulled at the Troubadour last year? There were rumors for a while yes but nobody thought that it's possible. I mean Ax himself when asked if Guns N' Roses are reforming said ''Not in this lifetime'' which cleverly later became the name of the tour. Ha. Anyways that stunt at the Troubadour killed me. When I found out what happened I swear I wasn't breathing, there were tears, there was screaming, there was hyperventilating. All the works. Now if that got me completly messed up just imagine when they announced a European tour. Holy shit. I was done for. The day that tickets were supposed to go on sale I was up at 6 am, in front of my laptop, refreshing the page every minute, chewing on my nails and as soon as they were out, ordered and payed for I thought I will die on the spot. Seeing Guns N' Roses live was like going to the moon for me, you know what I mean? Something you know is possible yet it will most likely never happen. And then it did. My hands are still shaking and my mind and heart are still racing.

Vienna is one of my favorite cities on this planet as is. It's so full of art and music and life. I love it. Not to mention I saw most of my favorite bands there. But on Monday morning it was far from my favorite. The weather was a mess. I mean when you've got pouring rain, lightning strikes, thunder, hail and a tornado which is really uncommon for this part of Europe all happening a few hours before a sold out stadium show? God I wanted to scream. I felt like someone up there is punishing me. You know that feeling? Oops Nikki is happy, we best do something to fuck that up for her.

Luckily the skies seemed to calm down and there was just some light rain. They had roadies wiping down the stage after each song. Making me feel like; god! those lucky bitches, who wouldn't want to wipe that stage down for them? Their sweat is like holy water. I bet they sweat glitter or something. If I'd get the chance to do that I would wipe the shit out of that stage. Hah. Jesus Nikki focus.

Oh my god the boys are back in town baby! It's real, they're real, they're really back. And you know what I loved most? That they all seemed genuinely happy, enjoying themselves during the show. My jungle king himself, Axl Rose is in an amazing vocal form and he was all smiles and grins Monday night, making my heart go into overdrive and legs weak in the knees. Yes I know he's 55 and I am 25. No, I don't care.

Weather aside the concert was amazing. Mindblowing. Perfect. So perfect. There are hardly words to describe just how amazing they really are. Don't mind me just hyperventilating from the memory over here. It starts with two support bands, Tyler Bryant and Wolfmother, which by the way are great and when they leave there's graphics on the three huge screens, guns, roses, their logo with the name and flag of the country they're in. Every now and then the guns on the biggest screen in the middle fired with a really loud bang that mady your entire body vibrate. They know how to keep you on edge.

And then oh my god…then the Looney tunes song. You know what that means right? Oh be still my beating heart, if it wasn't about to jump out before then at that tiny short tune it had to. McBob their roadie comes on stage then, he's been their announcer for years. I only saw one other band with an announcer, that were the Stones. McBob said ''a band that needs no introduction, but gets one anyway! ". I actually thought it's going to be something along the lines of ''ladies and gentlemen the most dangerous band in the world''. Who ever came up with that, dangerous, please, they're more like fluffy, cuddly, teddy bears. I sure know I'd like to cuddle with some of them, well at least three of them. Of the current lineup that is.

When they came on stage, one by one, and that first note of It's so easy hits. My god, the breath was gone from my lungs. They were suddenly more then just pictures on my records and walls, they were real. That rush of adrenaline when you see someone you loved and admired for so long standing in front of you. It's a feeling like no other. It's so easy that went straight into Mr. Brownstone. And then Chinese democracy, Welcome to the jungle, Double talkin' jive, Better, Estranged, Live and let die *which was almost acoustic*, Rocket queen *minus the sound effects, shame*, You could be mine *if only*, Attitude, This I love, Civil war, Yesterdays, Coma, Sweet child o' mine, Used to love her, Out ta get me, Wish you were here, November rain, Black hole sun, Knocking on Heavens door, Nightrain and an encore with Patience, The Seeker and of course Paradise city, which had the most amazing fireworks I've ever seen.

You know I've been following the band for years *obviously* and there were past chances to see them, well what was left of the band anyways, it never felt right. Even if the previous few line ups had some of the fiercest and greatest players in the rock world. And now…now when at least Duff and Slash are back home where they belong it feels like…a breath of air for someone who is drowning.

And you know what is the best part of it all? Slash. His fire and passion is back and I can't describe the happiness. Maybe it's because of Richard Fortus, who let's face it is amazing *I'm so sorry Izzy* but there's just one Slash. Guitar god. He doesn't play the guitar he makes love to it. The way his fingers dance over those strings is nothing if not mesmerising. He's focused, he's energetic, he's fast, his solo's are nothing if not mindblowing. The way he played the theme song of The Godfather that slowly turned into the intro of Sweet child of mine was just….jesus take the wheel I can't take this no more kinda thing. The audience was great, they were singing along and everything but I think Sweet child was the best, obviously everyone completly lost it when that first few notes hit. I could hear that song a million times on repeat and I would still love it as much as I did the first time.

And then you've got Axe, I'm trying not to be biased though we all know he could stand on that stage and blink and I'd still think it's the best thing ever. But honest to god his piano playing was amazing, he plays a long intro, starting with Layla that slowly leads into November rain. Now this song always was and always will be one of my favorites. The lyrics, that guitar solo, the piano, the voice, the emotion in the voice. My god. I had tears pouring down my face when he sang that song. And the shower of sparks in the middle of the song with the band standing underneath…''So never mind the darkness, we still can find a way. 'cause nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain''. A lyric that I repeat to myself when things go wrong. A lyric that keeps me stronger. A lyric which makes the world seem a bit brighter then it is. And a song that holds so much personal meaning, and memory and love.

Then you've got a moment where Ax changes his clothes or hat for about a millionth time…I wonder who does his laundry because I would totally volunteer. Like just imagine for a second ''what do you do for a living?'' ''oh you know, just making sure Axl Rose can change 10 fucking shirts on stage every night''. Must be a dream job. Right where was I? Oh of course, the one and only Mr Duff Mckagan steps up for the punk explosion of “Attitude”. And it really is explosive. I wouldn't mind some of his attitude to be honest. Duff totally killed Misfits with it. I'm sorry guys but he's just…perfect.

''Loaded like a freight train, flyin' like an aeroplane, feelin' like a space brain, one more time tonight''. Brings us to about two and a half hours of the show but come on of course they're not done yet. The encore began with an almost acoustic version of Patience which I loved because you can really hear Axl's more then amazing voice. Following Patience is also the Seeker and of course the final song Paradise city. If I used to wonder before where Paradise city is, let me tell you right now that I found mine. And they go out with a bang, Paradise city has a shit ton of pyro that is completly in tune with the music. It's amazing, that long instrumental part of the song at the end with fireworks banging in the background and the band in a cloud of smoke and the ''I wanna go, I wanna go, oh won't you please take me home. I wanna see, oh won't you please take me home. Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, take me home.''.

The show just hits that 3 hour mark when the band takes one final bow on the stage. 3 hours that felt like 3 minutes if you ask me. I could stay there and listen to them for another 3 hours and it still wouldn't be enough. So yeah the tickets were expensive as hell but I promise you well worth every cent, Guns N' Roses are still the greatest hard rock band in the world, and even though impossible since stadiums don't have a roof, if it did, they'd blow that bitch right off. I watched the show with my mouth hanging open, tears streaming, broken voice from screaming and completly dazed and tingly. ''Not in this lifetime''? God I'm so happy they changed their minds.

Don't cry because it's over, be happy it happened right? My favorite band and people in the whole wide world. Let's hope this wasn't a first and last kinda thing because my heart couldn't handle it. So thank you boys for giving me the best night of my life, I won't ever forget it, I love you, I love you, I love you.

One last thing, I don't want to do this but I need a peace of mind. A quick note to the ''brains'' or should I say lack of them behind an article on an Austrian web page. Writing a review so vile it made me wish I wouldn't understand a word of German language. I mean I get it they're not your cup of tea and that's fine we can't all like the same things. But how fucking dare you?! All the talk about how they look, or better yet how awful YOU think they look. Is that an insecure little girl inside of you, making everyone else look bad so she feels good about herself? Do you listen to music with your eyes? Do looks have anything at all to do with music? If so I'm willing to bet The Stones wouldn't be one of the biggest bands out there right now. Slash can't tune a guitar right? Bitch are you kidding me? Slash could choke you with one hand while still play any one of his solo's perfectly while doing it. Ax lost his voice? Honestly fuck you, if anything Axe sounds better now then ever before. I don't know why you're so bitter, I don't know what your problem with them is but what I do know is that you're not even worthy of breathing the same air as them. That's it, I'm done, before this gets too ugly. We all know there's a lot more I'd like to tell to this ''music blogger''. In person. With fists. But it's not ladylike to behave that way now is it.

Oh what the hell. Can't end this post on negativity. So instead I'll share one last thing. My writing process is complicated. It's either a ten page post in 1 hour or a few lines over the entire week. I have to admit this post turned out to be one of the hardest I've done. Ever. It's hard enough to write down what you feel and it's even harder when there's so many feelings that you feel like you could explode. I've been writing down lines, thoughts, emotions all week, which I managed to piece together into a semi normal post. It's a little scrambled I'm aware but let it be, lord knows my mind is even more. Scrambled that is. As a bonus though, I'll keep a couple of notes I wrote during the week. They are in full on crazy fangirl mode that annoys just about everyone, but they're also lines written by a really estatic and happy version of me, that you'll most likely never see again. Fair warning; things may get messy, dirty and explicit above this line...

Ohhh my god are you kidding me? Has anyone really looked at Duff before? Like does he look at himself? Is he aware of how ridiculously hot he is? Does he even sweat like normal people? No. He sweats rainbows and glitter, so help me god he's just too damn attractive. Attitude? Can I have some of it? Preferably in an elevator where we are convinetly stuck for about 3 hours, with no power and nothing to do.

Are they even real? This did just happen? Oh my god I was just dreaming wasn't I? I'll wake up anytime now realizing I just imagined the whole thing. Disappointing really. If it's a dream I could at least get to shower with one of them after the show. Or all of them, I don't mind.

Fucking hell they're so amazing and sooooo WILD! AX'S VOICE! THAT DAMN VOICE. The man could choke me and I would thank him so help me god. ''Feel my serpentine?'' dear god in heaven what do you want? To kill me? Because I'm pretty sure you did. He's so hot, the little dance moves, THE SMILE! The thing he does at ''and you're a very sexy girl, very hard to please, you can taste the bright lights but you won't get there for free...'' send help.

SLASH, SLASH, SLASH! Guitar god omfg, playing behind your head?! As if those riffs aren't hard enough. Why are you doing this to me? Why?

Axl...something so charming about him, I don't know what it is but it's just...ahhh...can't stop staring at him. And he's so wild. And he salutes the fans, and smiles, and just...okay I'm done. Really. If I had a fucking star each time he makes me smile, I swear I'd have a whole damn sky.

Duff, Duff, Duff, Duff, he's is sexy. Like he is the hottest thing alive, I can't even. 10/10 I would so call him daddy.

November rain, I died. The best thing on this planet. That one song. Those effects, the storm on the screen and on the sky at the same time. The genius Ax on the piano. The voice. The chills. Oh my god.

I love them I love them I love them. I can't even comprehend that I actually saw them, breathed the same air as them, heard my favorite songs live that I never thought I would.

Seriously though November rain! It's the most beautiful thing on the planet what the fuck?! Happy tears. So many happy tears. Literally the best night of my life, bring on the post concert depression because it will hurt like a bitch. It already does. I already miss them. Sigh.

Words of ''wisdom'' by an older man I met at the show ''sugar, if your age is on the clock, you're too young for Roses cock''. I actually choked on water. Yep. Did he mean digital or regular clock though? Cuz actually you know it's not 24:00 it's 00:00, meaning I'm off of both clocks. Hah.

The music. Have you ever heard better music in your life? I doubt it. They are nothing if not pure perfection...

I did warn you haven't I? It's a miracle I managed to piece something normal out of this isn't it? There was more but I'd say this was enough crazy fangirl behavior for now. I promise you though most days I am not this crazy. Only sometimes. Sometimes I don't just fangirl, sometimes I do ''obsess''. Enjoy the weekend guys, I'll see you on Monday, most likely with another review. Look after one another, stay safe and for the love of everything holy, play some good old rock 'n' roll music.

Dark side of the moon.

I'm going to be very honest with you. Classic album or not, I'm not a huge fan. I like it yeah, but it doesn't give me the satisfaction I get when putting on Skid Row's self titled and that first note of Big guns hits. Before you attack me again, this is a matter of opinion not slandering a band. I wouldn't dare. It's Pink Floyd we're talking about after all.

But there are certain things about this album that I find fascinating. ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' was an expression of political, philosophical, humanitarian empathy that was desperate to get out." is what Roger Waters said about this album. The lyrics are about greed, conflict, mortality, mental illness and religion, which I believe is a huge deal for an album released in 1973. It was recorded at London's Abbey Road Studios between May 1972 and January 1973 and it still till today holds the record for the most weeks on the Billboard 200 chart. Over 800 weeks! How amazing is that? I was reading about estimated copies sold worldwide just the other day, we're talking about over 45 millions though that means little when you look at the actual artistic legacy which let's be honest is far greater.

I think Neal Schon of Journey described this album perfectly. He said that a double eclipse is an extremly rare phenomenon that happens every 20 000 years, where during a legendary lunar or solar eclipse the moon will pass in front of the sun twice in the same day. Which also connects to the albums name, Dark side of the moon, they saw it as a phenomenon that's why they chose that name. Have you ever asked yourself though what kind of an album deserves to be on this throne? Holding the title of ''extremly rare'' like the double eclipse? I mean imagine the expectations it would have to meet...it's very ambitious if you ask me, setting out to make an album like that. What kind of an masterpiece does it have to be to be so influentual and amazing that every man, woman, child and even their pets would know the title? Do you think there really is an album like that out there? I know everyone would chose a different album for this title, let's be honest, I would of pick Bruce, but just because he changed my life doesn't mean he changed the entire world. So no, I don't think there's an album like that out there but I believe some come close and this one is definatelly one of them.

Depression and mental illness and insanity none the less are a horrible thing, horrible, horrible thing. It turns your own mind into your worst enemy, makes you distant from your family, from everything around you, from the world really. And when you're alone it makes everything even worse. You're completly disconected and all the static in your head is screaming at you making you feel like you're going crazy. It makes you paranoid, anxious, afraid...being alone and disconected is like being in your own world, completly unaware of your surroundings and the fact that Pink Floyd know how to paint that picture is amazing.

All that aside let's focus on what is really extraordinary on this album. The instrumental parts of the album. Gilmour is amazing no arguing here. For the time, the 70's when this album was recorded and released the music is years ahead. The electronic entry of On the run and then the melodies of Any color you like...and all that combined with Gilmour who really outdid himself and Waters and Mason and of course Wright god rest his soul, they all showed off their talents here and it payed of because put together like that...it's pretty much mindblowing.

What I believe really turned this album into this iconic thing that it is now are the lyrics. It starts with Speak to me, 90 seconds long intro that sets this whole psychedelic mood of the album perfectly. I find this intro really mesmerizing, so many sound effects, the manical laughter which is one of my favorite parts ha ha and the ''speech'', "I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us are".

Then there's Breathe, starting with "For long you live and high you fly, and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry", gentle song with a melodic bass like and soft drumming, echo guitar and electric piano. Beautiful song but esentially about paranoia ''Run, run rabbit run. Dig that hole, forget that sun. And when at last the work is done, don't sit down, it's time to dig another one''. Still, a great song. As well as On the run and Time, Time is especially great, I really like the alarm sounds and chimes and the whole bluesy guitars and the lyric ''hanging on in a quiet desperation is the English way''. Not just the English way to be fair...

"The great gig in the sky" built around a piano, you know they originally wanted to title it ''The mortality sequence'' or ''Religious theme''? I read somewhere that the very early live versions of this song incorporated recorded Bible readings. I honestly love this song most because of the title, no musician ever really dies they just go play ''the great gig in the sky'' right?

And then you've got ''Money'' which is probably the most famous Pink Floyd song. If none other this song everyone should know, it's the only song from this album that was featured on the Billboard hot 100. I think it was somewhere in the top 20 when the album came out. The bluesy bass line and an epic guitar solo combined with a saxophone by Dick Parry and the lyrics about capitalism and greed and quite honestly human nature of always wanting more no matter how much we've got. The selfish, greedy nature. ''Money it's a crime. Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie".

This album also features songs, Us and them about dealing with a split personality and the rest of the world during war, Any color you like, Brain damage and Eclipse. Now the last two are the ones that somehow had most impact on me. Brain damage was inspired by Syd Barrett's mental breakdown, originally called the Lunatic song includes a lyric ''I'll see you on the dark side of the moon'' which is aparently about being different and defending it, being proud of it, so Waters said anyways. And then there's the last song Eclipse, maybe it should be called Brain damage part 2. "All that you give... deal, buy, steal, create, destroy, eat, meet, slight, fight ... is in tune. But the sun is eclipsed by the moon."? "There is no dark side of the moon really. As a matter of fact it's all dark.". Plot twist much? What on earth does that mean then? Nothing? Everything? Was everything just a lie? Is that the whole point? To throw you in for a spin? Confuse you? Make you question everything? Show you that in reality there's no dark parts of your mind, instead everything is dark. I suppose that's what's the most brilliant part of this album.

Each song with the lyrics paints a picture, instrumental parts aside it creates a storm of emotions, probably even stronger for those actually dealing with such isues. I like to think of the album as just one really long song, divided into parts, kinda like Green day's Jesus of Suburbia.

Now to my problems, oh yes I have a couple. First one being you need patience to let the album grow on you. I have to admit when I finally got my hands on it and played it for the first time I was severly disappointed. After all the hype and talk about it I expected it will blow my mind the very first second instead someone asked me if my record player died and that is why it's making such weird noises. I don't blame them really. It took me a long time to even get through the side A of the album. I was bored, I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics because the vocals didn't impress me, they seemed rather dull, missing that power, that energy, that they usually had. I'd say it's kinda like life it's not about the destination but about the journey, so if you make it through the journey you won't be disappointed in the end.

I can't say what I usually say ''go get it you'll love it''. It doesn't work like that with this album, you either love it or you hate it, no other option. Well maybe there is a little gray area in between since I don't hate it but I don't love it either. However if you're a collector, if you value music, if you're just a music lover like me then this album shouldn't be missing in your collection nevermind if you love it or not. It is an iconic piece of musical history and an album that started a revolution, and was crowned by many people as the greatest album of all time. Not. I have yet to find an album that will amaze me so much to even consider calling it the best record of all times. Even if Springsteen's Wrecking ball came pretty close to it. For me at least.