I'll see you in my dreams.

It's been a few days huh? Since the concert I mean. The Boss in Vienna. I've been meaning to write a couple of words but life got in the way. As usual. Natural disaster after natural disaster. First it was massive storms, then it was a tornado, then it was an earthquake and now it's ended (hopefully because I'm not ready for locusts) with Biblical floodings. I don't know who hates us, well actually lots of people hate us lately, but the fury mother nature unleashed on us in the past couple of days…it's unseen. At this point, if any of my fellow citizens are reading, guys stay strong, we can get through this together. 

Now first things first, y'all know I love Vienna, it's my favourite place right after Italy and our seaside. It always feels like returning home when I'm there. Sorta. I know the city by heart, I love it, I love it's streets, I love it's vibe, the history, the culture. I love everything about it. And I love going to all the places I don't have at home, you guys know me, bookstores and Starbucks. Guys! They renovated Thalia book shop on Mariahilferstrasse and you know what?! It literally has a cafe inside, you can get coffee, a snack and read in peace! I think my brain exploded upon seeing that. Also, let me point out that I shouldn't be allowed unsupervised in a bookstore with my boyfriends credit card. Just saying. Also he shouldn't be as kind as he is saying ''buy as many as you want baby''. What did I do to deserve him? Also I did buy as many as I wanted…and would probably buy more but who's going to carry all that? Oh the boyfriend duh! That's why we have them to pay and carry bags, am I rite ladies? Lol just kidding, I know he's reading this, I'm sorry babe, you know I love you. 

Side note, extremely excited for the new Ali Hazelwood, though when will I get to read it? Who knows, as I keep saying, book buying and book reading are two completely different hobbies. Now lets get back to the Boss. This concert was sold out within minutes, and there were no tickets to buy anywhere, can you imagine? No scalpers to rob you of your money, shocking but also…so humbling in a way. I think everyone understands the scale of this show. The scale of the man. He's an amazing musician and there aint nobody like him out there. I'm not just saying because I'm quite literally obsessed with him but because it's the truth. There is just one ''THE BOSS''. I literally fought to get tickets, I bought them a minute after they were put on sale almost a year before the show and I think it was literally hunger games to get them, because we all feared it might be his last tour. It might be. It might not be. Rumors are spreading for both. I understand if he'd wanna quit touring and focus on things he loves like the Broadway or podcasts or books, but also I'd have a hard time accepting never seeing him live again. If this was my last show…that's a hard pill to swallow. The entire vibe of the show felt sorta final you know, a lot of talks about dark thematics, death, endings, sadness, with uplifting moments in between. And on the other hand on the last concert of the tour he said ''we'll be back'' so…who knows really besides the Boss?

First things first let me complain for a quick second, first time I saw him at this stadium,that was in 2012, the concert was 3 hours and 41 minutes long, like police came to shut down the power long. It was the ''Wrecking ball'' tour and my first time seeing him. Of course you never forget your firsts. It was an amazing experience and one of my favourite concerts as is. And also he did one of my fave songs then which is ''Waitin on a sunny day''. It's no secret though that while I love Vienna my favourite concerts are actually Italy and if Milano was on this tour I'd rather be there. Nothing beats Italian fan actions, temparament and just Italy in general. Oh! Guys you know I am obsessed with these cups you can now buy on stadiums right? Obsessed, and of course I had to get one here as well, even if water costs 8 euros, which is absurd and should be either holy water or Bosses sweat and tears to make it worth that price. Just saying. But like….look at it! Perfection.

The tickets! Expensive as fuck but so worth every cent, first row, almost down on the grass of the stadium. If you think I didn't cry over my tickets you are wrong. Thank you goes to a friend of mine who made sure I get the best tickets, who in turn as a gift got my tiny drawing of Bruce, which he absolutely loved. Made my whole day, week, month, maybe even year. I honestly am so grateful to have him, to know him, and to make someone who makes me so happy, SO happy in return, that means the world to me. Yes I want to be a paid artist but believe me guys, no money is better then genuine happiness you can give someone with your art.  

So this show was quite a bit shorter, about 2 hours and 30 minutes, he opened with ''No Surrender'' and closed with ''I'll see you in my dreams''. Patti was not present like she wasn't most of the tour unfortunally. And there was another ''first'' on this tour which is that most of it with slight deviations was identical. Meaning all shows the same in setlist. People complained about it but you know what? I actually like that because then I don't have to mope and complain how some people get a better setlist than I. Yes I am looking at you Guns n' Roses, two shows and I didn't get ''Don't cry''? Guess what? I am fucking crying over that. People also complained about the actual setlist because there were less big hits but a mix of everything. I honestly wouldn't even mind if all he sang was the last album and those are all covers. Just sayin. 

As you can imagine I completely fucking lost it three times, ''Letter to you'', ''Nightshift'' and ''The River''. Shrieking hysterically, amusing everyone around me because yes I was the youngest on my part of the stadium and probably the most excited. Like I may chuck my bra on stage type excited. I noticed less talking between songs too, I mean there was hardly a pause in between, he hardly took a deep breath to carry on with the next song after one ended. 

Here's the deal, in between, he takes time to give a little speech about his joining the band in the mid 60s and then 50 years later about the death of his friend George Theiss who was actually the person that hired Bruce as a guitarist, when he was still a teen. He talked about how final death is and that's what I meant with the somber atmosphere, it was quite…dark. To say the least. And it made me feel a bit unsettling. Like…this is final. Like he's talking about death because this is also the death of the band. Which means at the end, the last song, darkness, the cell phone lights, ''I'll see you in my dreams''? The waterworks came on. Like a whole bunch, like sleeves caked in black makeup waterworks. Last time this happened this bad, we were in Italy and Bon Jovi were singing ''Always''. I'm never getting over that one. 

I have a different complaint tho, not about the setlist but about merchandise prices, like, sweetie, honey, are you fucking insane?? What were those prices? 30 euro tote bag? 50 euro shirts? Which obviously means I had to get two. Am I also insane then? Probably but guys…look at my prized possesions…

I'm not going to spam you forever, I'll make this short. For once. If I don't this will turn into a Bruce blog at some point. Basically all you really need to know, this was an absolutely amazing show, and if you've never seen him live. You have too. Because there's musicians and then there's Bruce. And there's concerts and then there's Bruce. There's nothihng like him and nobody like him. Point is. I absolutely love him and I hope I can end this post with ''until next time, Bruce, thank you, I love you''. 

Love walked in.

I suppose if you guys have been reading my ramblings for a while you came to realise many things, probably not all of them good? Hah. I can see you rolling your eyes at some posts or thinking I am a complete nutcase at others. Hopefully sometimes I manage to write down my opinions and thoughts in a way that makes it at least bearable to read if not enjoyable. Or maybe I manage to inspire you. But above all through it all I think you probably caught on to how complex and all over the place my music taste is. I used to say to people ''well you know I'm not that great beauty and brains wise but my music taste is fucking amazing'' hah.

Usually when people ask me ''what kind of music do you like?'' I reply with ''you're not ready for that conversation''. And it's 100% true too. Where do I even begin to explain? There is so much that I love and there is so much that I can't stand. And there is so much that inspires me and helps me feel better and less alone. But there's no point debating tastes really. Something I love you probably hate and vice versa.

Music was never some background noise for me, something to drown out the silence…I'm the person that puts a song on replay again because I wasn't paying close attention the first time, or missed my favorite part even if it's a song like November rain, whos lyrics I could recite in the middle of the night and probably backwards too.

Here's the deal, I love classical music, maybe you wouldn't get that straight from the start but really, I do. I listen to Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Brahms, Debussy, Vivaldi, Haydn, Wagner, Verdi,…when I need to relax or when I lay awake on my bed in the middle of the night and guess what? It helps. More then Metallica could strangely enough. I also love Paganini, he was a genius and a bad boy, what more could one ask for? And to be quite honest without these musicians maybe music as we know it today wouldn't even exist.

So it's really no surprise that I just love someone like David Garrett is it? For those of you who don't know him. David is a musical genius and a record breaking German violinist. He plays crossover, pop, rock, classic, anything. But guys seriously he's a miracle, not only does he hold a world record for the fastest violin player on the planet that can play 13 notes in one single second. Can you imagine that? 13 notes in one single second! It's amazing that's what it is, but he also holds the record fort he fastest violin player because he preformed Flight of the bumblebee in 1 minute and 5,26 seconds. Like, how? Oh right as he says ''practice daily for 25 plus years''. Hah.

He started playing at the age 4 and attended Juliard as well. My favorite school. If life was fair that's where I'd be today. Let me dream and pretend I'd ever be admitted. Anyways point! David also plays a Stradivarius violin. Stradivari are instruments build by an Italian family in the 17th and 18th century and quite honestly there's not a better violin out there. I wouldn't even have the balls to touch it nevermind play it. The prices for one are usually millions on auctions, but they are super rare anyways. Now just think, David got his first one (yep he has more then one, but if not him then who will?) when he was just 11 years old from the German president after he had played for him. Some gift right? Then again his talent deserves nothing less.

I suppose what drew me to him for the first time is the fact that he knows how to mix up Mozart and Metallica and make it incredible, classical music getting a fresh rocker vibe is amazing. Not just for people like me that love both genres but also to maybe bring classical music to a wider audience, to people who never imagined they could listen and like something like a violin and a classicaly trained musician. Of course it doesn't harm just how good looking he is. Hah. Seriously I love love love his music and he could look like Trump and it wouldn't make a difference for me I'd still love the music but jesus I'm only human I got eyes, the man has a smile that makes the sun look pathetic. I caught myself sighing on the concert a couple of times.

While we're on that topic, there's a bar just round the corner from the venue, where I usually kill some time before shows. I love it because they always play music from the artist preforming that night. How cool is that? A pre concert warm up. Haha. Anyways I walked in before the show for a coffee enjoying the music and there's some people that didn't have tickets but knew him and I caught a conversation between this couple and the man was like ''but what are you going to do with such music there's not even any singing'' *cough idiot cough* and she goes ''but who cares? With a face like his''. So really, his looks are more of a distraction aren't they? I wonder how many women came JUST for his music. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't either. The man is gorgeous, his talent, his style, his face, smile, everything is so on point. You know that ''face carved by the angels'' kinda thing?

As per usual the show starts with him slowly walking up to the stage through the crowd. With two gorillas tagging along may I add. Hard to get around them but I think a determined fan could make it happen. Hah. No I didn't try, though I should have. If they'd end me at least I'd die happy.

What I really loved is how many Slovenian words and phrases David learned and how well he pronounced them. He wouldn't have to. Everyone here understands English real well, or at least basic English or even German, but he shows a deeper conection and deviotion to his fans and I think that's real sweet of him. I couldn't stop giggling when before playing Purple rain he asked if there are any Prince fans in the house tonight (still in Slovenian) then he goes ''gosh this was harder then this next song''. Hah. Adorable.

He of course played songs from Armin van Buuren and David Guetta, Stevie Wonder, Led Zepp, Prince, Coldplay, The Verve, Vaya Con Dios, Wings, Eminem (hello Eminem in classical version? It's mindblowing), Bruce Springsteen (cue in fangirling), Rage against the machine and of course Michael Jackson. Let's not forget that he also played a piece by Vivaldi that he dedicated to his mother saying she's somewhere in the audience but he can't see her. Hah. Isn't that so cute? That he brought his mom with and dedicated her her favorite song? I melted a little not going to lie.

There was also Let it go from Frozen. Like my Disney loving heart exploded and the words he said before playing it about love, equality etc, really beautiful. And just because he aparently thought I don't love him enough already there was the theme song to one of my favorite movies too (that is a long list as is, but this movie I really love both original and remake) Ghostbusters and it was just woah! The effects and lights on it (the entire gig really) and also sound effects during, saying ''who you gonna call? Ghostbusters'' and ''I aint afraid of no ghost''. It was SO cool.

Did I mention he takes a little walk around the venue also while playing? Because he does. He was awfully close to me then and I really couldn't remember how you take a breath or what song he was playing at the time. I could melt into a puddle on the ground and just be done with.

Let's not even get into how a few lucky coughbitchescough I mean women had the fortune to meet him backstage before the show. No idea how they got in or believe me I'd make it happen but autographs and pictures aside he likes hugging fans? Let's be serious, I would never survive that. I'd have the same experience as my friend, when her favorite musician hugged her and she passed out. Literally. Only the story went on with him feeling so bad that he personally took care of her meaning she pretty much woke up in his arms, you can imagine how that went. Obviously with her passing out again. Histerical.

This is the part where I complain again though. Of course not over this perfect blonde cupcake but over a couple of other things. First of, I live in a country of complete and utter idiots. The venue was half empty which is why I assume the people working with Davids social media accounts didn't even post that he was here. We have NO and I do mean no appreciation for good music. And it's horrible. No wonder no big music names never stop here. And I mean Rolling stones and Metallica big, not Bryan Adams who by some miracle seems to love this country. Makes one of us right? Hah.

Also organisation. I can't yell that loud enough. This is the only literally only country and capital or bigger city I've been on a concert to that didn't have public transport arranged for the concert. In Milano, in Vienna, Zagreb, Budapest. There are city buses or a subway that wait and make sure everyone gets home. While here there are no buses last one I think goes at around 10 and then forget it. It's problematic because the venue is really far from the city center and taxi service beside expensive is a bunch of rude fucks that drive you crazy. You would easier buy the shroud of Turin then get a cab in Ljubljana in the middle of the night. Just saying. It was the same story on Adams and it was the same story on Green day. I mean come on!

Let's not even get into that if you don't have a car there is no way to even get out of the capital at night. I had to spend the night in hotels in the past just because I couldn't get a train last one leaves at 22:50 and that's that. You know how idiotic I find this? Renting hotel rooms less then 100 km from home? I did call the railroad service and tell them that they're idiots, and that it wouldn't kill them to organise a train for the days of events not everyday, and why and what do I get? ''well that's a great idea'' uh? How about make it happen then? I know quite a lot of people that would love to see more concerts and events in LJ but they never do because getting home is next to impossible.

Anyways back to the concert. There are a lot of big names I've seen and each time I thought it can't be better. Like Bon Jovi in Milano, which was one of the best shows in his more recent career as is and I thought ''well shit nothing can top that'' then The Boss in Milano happened and then Guns n' Roses and the Rolling stones, comparing those is stupid they were all amazing but honestly I never thought there's gonna be a concert that I'll love as much or equally any more, well it happened. This concert was everything I hoped for and more.

If I was in love with him before then now I have it worse. Like a million times worse. I already made plans in my head to see him again next year in Vienna. Which 100% won't happen due to other things going on in my life right now but it would be real nice if it could. There were already posters all over Vienna last month when I was there. Amazing photo too, then again all pictures with him are just amazing. Cue in batting eyelashes, hearts in the eyes and sighing over this program that I bought at the show. The pictures in it? They should be illegal is all I'm saying.

I had a choice to make in April if I'm buying tickets for David Garrett or Iron Maiden and all my friends were like ''eh she's getting Maiden tickets no doubt'' and I was like ''hell no, I love Maiden but they are not going to win this'' and I got Garrett tickets without blinking and you know what? I am so glad I did. This was just what I needed to relieve some of the stress I'm under and to breathe a bit easier. To feel a bit of that nice zen feeling.

The music was amazing, the man is amazing. And the entire show was a whole new experience that is hard to even put into words. Despite the not so full venue I hope he comes back because I would just love another night with him. Thank you David for sharing your talents (and that gorgeous smile) with us, I enjoyed it more then I can say and hope to see you again some time.

Thunder road

It's been a while since I wrote about the love of my life. I know you're about sick of him at this point but then, do I really care? About as much as I care about people complaining over black background and moving pictures at the side.

It's barely Monday morning and I am already done with this week. Not feeling so great, dealing with people that make you want to tear all your hair out, sigh, it's been a lot of crap lately. So instead of moping about it I decided to put on an album, by my favorite guy and just tell the world to fuck off. Like All time low sing ''paint the walls black and scream fuck the world cuz it's my life...'' or something along those lines. Though to be honest I haven't felt like it's my life in a while. Everyone else is running it these days but me.

So the album is meant as a book companion. I was over the moon when getting it because one of my favorite songs is on ''The River'' and you don't want to see the actual condition of my The River album or the scrapes on it. Severly overplayed. Like, it's been through a couple of storms okay, it's got some history, but I love it just the way it is. Even if I had to scrape my mom's ex boyfriends name off Bruce's Cheek. What kinda animal writes their name on record sleeves in the first place? Or let me phrase that better, what kinda animal signs their name over the entire face of the musician instead of putting it in a corner or some shit?

So the book, I read it of course, twice, once in English and then later the translated version too. But my favorite is actually an audio book. I know I know, I keep saying that those are no books but honestly, the audio book is read by the Boss himself so excuse me if I'm enjoying it a bit too much. That voice! I am done for. Very calming if you're stressed and can't sleep. It's hogging a huge portion of space on my iPod but you know what the hell, it's worth it.

I loved the book from the first moment I picked it up. Of course not just because of the previously unseen pictures (given that my family always asks me how can I be reading a book with no pictures, ha ha, very funny guys) but also because there's something so relatable in it. Bruce's fight with depression, an on going battle really, and the effect that music has had on him. Bruce described his depression with “My depression was spewing like an oil spill over the beautiful turquoise green gulf of my carefully planned existence,” and that was a really brilliant way to put it, it really does feel something like that. That was back in the 80's and given how these stories end up these days we can only thank god for his very blunt manager, Jon Landau who without sugarcoating told him that he needs professional help.

Random but did you know he actually hates the name ''Boss''? I always found it amazing, I mean just look at it, how many musicians out there are called ''the boss'' or have as much influence and respect as he does? Or can write song lyrics that are basically a movie script on it's own? Or even preform for up to 4 hours per night? Probably not that many huh.

I've been gritting my teeth with jealousy these days watching him on Broadway (nevermind how badly I'd want to see Bruce Springsteen on Broadway live but the fact that it's in New York aside fucking tickets go from 851 to 2039 euros on a local web site? What the fuck?) meeting fans after the show, taking pictures, hugging them, talking to them. Must be an amazing feeling no? I'd give just about anything to meet him even if for just a minute. Given that I wouldn't completly choke up or make a complete idiot of myself.

There's another quote on depression he writes about, well there's plenty of them really but there's a few that stuck out to me, he is writing about a road trip with a friend, stopping at a small town fair, when, “From nowhere, a despair overcomes me; I feel an envy of these men and women and their late summer ritual, the small pleasures that bind them and this town together. Now, for all I know these folks may hate this one-dog dump and each other’s guts and be screwing one another’s husbands and wives like rabbits. Why wouldn’t they? But right now, all I can think of is that I want to be amongst them, of them, and I can’t. I can only watch.”. So relatable, I find myself watching people, people I know nothing about, people that seem to have it all and seem happiest they could be and I feel despair because I know that will never be me. That will never be my life.

And it's just like he said, for all I know they can be the most miserable sons of bitches on this planet but it's the outer facade that's appealing. It's the idea. And it's knowing that you can never be a part of it.

Depression still breathes down his neck though, just as it is on the rest of us. I wonder are you ever completly free of it? Completly cured? Point is, it's music that helps him. Here's where we connect most, his biggest cure it's preforming, my biggest cure is listening to him.

So this album...mostly old songs we all know but it also contains five previously unreleased songs. You can actually see it, first two albums he put out were more young, had this teenage wibe to them, where on ''Born to run'' you can see him growing up and getting further away from teenage topics. Just as Thunder road sings ''Maybe we aint that young anymore''. Did you know I always wanted a tattoo saying ''Thunder road''? I never got it because I'd like it to be in his handwriting and since I never met him I never got the chance to ask him for it. Maybe someday. This album though as a companion album to Springsteen’s autobiography, Born to Run, had each song handpicked by The Boss himself to represent a different theme or part of the book. Which if you ask me makes Chapter and Verse a bit different them The essential Bruce Springsteen. It's simple to follow the story here too, ''My fathers house'' clearly a song about his difficult relationship with his father which covers A LOT of pages in the book and the happier song ''Living proof'' which makes it clear that his bond with his children will be (and it is) completly different. The rest are more career wise and not so personal but then the line between personal and his music is quite blurred since his songs are very personal.

I guess from ''Born to run'' on music got serious, he sang about politics, war, ''men with death in their eyes'', injustice on this planet, life in general. He's not just a musician he's a poet. A genius. This album represents just that. Not only him as the genius that he is but also his growth as a songwriter as well as an musician from basically a rebelious teen to an adult. I suppose the new five songs make sense you know. It's logical why he never felt the need before to share them, they feel somehow like an experiemt of a sorts. Like Bruce trying out different leather jackets and seeing which one fits best. And of course ''He's guilty'' is a song by his first band called Steel Mill. Would you believe that up untill as recent as reading the book I had no idea there was another band? Shame on me.

It's not that my mind was blown or anything while listening to these songs. I mean they are great no question there but they aren't listening to ''Big guns'' for the first time. Yes my go to reference, because putting on that Skid Row selftitled album for the first time my mind was blown away. I was done for, love on the first note. I was though however really shocked (in a good way) by the song ''Ballad of Jesse James'' that one was woah! Firstly the line ''Don't you wanna be an outlaw, children?'' hah a line worthy of tattooing on my ass right under another musicians name that's already there, don't ask, it really is a dumb story. But also the song is great the way he referenced Jesse James, he knew he's going to be big someday not to mention this song is the closest fitting jacket if you know what I mean. Guitars sound more like they do on Darkness at the edge of town (which I still don't have wtf?).

So the album could really be called a compilation, that is as well as a compilation of songs as is a compilation of events past to present an overview of the Bosses life. Od course if you own ''Growing up'', ''My fathers house'', and ''Wrecking ball'' (honestly most of us big fans do, don't bother asking how many CD's I own, too many, only missing more of his work on vinyl) you pretty much have this entire album.

The only difference here is of course that if you want to find out if the album actually represents what is supposed to be the story of one of the greatest songwriters ever then you'll actually have to read the book. Hah. Bruce you smart devil. Though, I know my opinion is biased being slightly in love with the man and his work, I can tell you the book is one of the best autobiographies I've read and I've read plenty of them. One of which I enjoyed so much was also Sebastian Bach's, jeesh that man used to be all kinds of crazy. Gotta love him though. The chapter on Moscow peace festival? Yeah that one was great. Or him getting stoned with Lars Ulrich and forgetting to meet his grandmother that comes to pick him up then at Lars' house. Histerical. Bosses book isn't funny like that but it's honest and emotional and raw and it makes you understand the man behind the music that much more.

And who knows maybe you learn to love him at least 20% as much as me. Enjoy the rest of your week guys, hope it's better then mine is turning out to be. Here's a piece of my art from 2 years ago. Lord knows lately I haven't been able to put a decent drawing together, so enjoy this one instead.

P.S. How amazing are those inner sleeve pics? I want them ALL on posters. Hah.

I'll never find anyone to replace you, guess I'll have to make it through, this time, oh this time, without you.

Heal me, I'm heartsick. Drowning. Barely breathing. My mind is swimming somewhere up in the clouds, my feet are no longer on the ground. I'm restless as a storm...Maybe a little broken, maybe a little sad and lost but mostly happy. So fucking happy. And I never want this moment to end. I never want to let it go. It's addictive and it's intoxicating.

I'm sitting here staring at this blank page. Trying to pour all my love, devotion, dedication and mostly feelings into this post. It's hard to start it. It's hard to write it. It's hard to put it into words. Hard to even find words that would describe these feelings. How I feel right now? Excited? Lovesick? Heartsick? I feel like if my feet weren't planted firmly on the ground I'd just float away. If my head wasn't screwed on so tightly I'd lose it some place already. I feel like all the bad has melted away. All the ugly in the world is just...gone.

I love so much music, so many bands. I've seen so many bands, some more then once. But despite my adoration towards The Boss and Motley Crue and Skid Row and Warrant and Leppard and Bon Jovi and...ah what the hell you get the point...I think I can safely say that Guns N' Roses are a romance that's been going on my whole life. You know those baby books pregnant women have? Oh, right, is that even cool anymore? These days a child doesn't even exist unless ultrasound pictures and everything else is posted all over social media or blogs or whatever else. Listen kids, back in the day where there was no such thing as social media *holy shit am I really that old?* women kept books where they wrote in notes, glued in pictures and such. My mom used to have one, she'd write in interesting things, I learned I was a problem child since before I was born. Hah. Who knew. What I also learned though is that I had some sort of adoration towards GN'R since before I was born. And then after when I didn't sleep I'd listen to November rain which aparently always did the trick. Here we are 25 years later and the romance is as strong as it was from day one. Well actually a lot stronger.

Oh GN'R words can't actually describe how much I adore you. If you ask any of my friends they will all tell you the same things. How much their music annoys them purely because I always listen to it. How much I annoy them because all I talked about for the past ten years was a reunion and how I'd sell both my kidneys to see it happen. And how much I annoy them now with my ''unhealthy obsession'' *seriously it's dedication not an obsession* with this band. But how do you begin to describe something that makes you happy to be alive, something that awakeness your soul, makes you reach out for more, makes you bold and brave, plants a fire in your heart and calms down the storm in your mind? That's what they do. They make me feel alive and calm and happy and content and strong. It's not just a song anymore, just a band, just a tour or an album. It's so much more. And I love them so much more then just a band who's music you happen to enjoy.

Nothing is as calming as those perfect guitar riffs, bass line or that amazing voice. That voice that makes shivers run up and down my spine, skin tingle and butterflies erupt in my stomach. Nothing makes everything alright in an instant quite like Estranged does. There is nothing like those beautiful lyrics, amazing guitar riffs and Matt Sorum's *I'm so sorry Stevie* amazing tap style drumming, and that voice, so melancholic so full of emotion. That song to me is pure genius. Nothing is quite as satisfying as lying in the dark, headphones on and this song as loud as possible, completly lost in it. Lost in those emotions it gives you. Amazing.

So nobody ever told us baby how it was gonna be, so what'll happen to us baby, guess we'll have to wait and see.

When I find out all the reasons maybe I'll find another way, find another day. With all the changing seasons of my life, maybe I'll get it right next time. And now that you've been broken down, got your head out of the clouds, you're back down on the ground, and you don't talk so loud, and you don't walk so proud, any more, and what for...

Well I jumped into the river too many times to make it home, I'm out here on my own, and drifting all alone. If it doesn't show give it time, to read between the lines 'cause I see the storm is getting closer, and the waves they get so high, seems everything we've ever known's here why must it drift away and die.

I'll never find anyone to replace you guess I'll have to make it through, this time, oh this time, without you...

Pure genius. Now my undying love, adoration, admiration aside…Remember the stunt they pulled at the Troubadour last year? There were rumors for a while yes but nobody thought that it's possible. I mean Ax himself when asked if Guns N' Roses are reforming said ''Not in this lifetime'' which cleverly later became the name of the tour. Ha. Anyways that stunt at the Troubadour killed me. When I found out what happened I swear I wasn't breathing, there were tears, there was screaming, there was hyperventilating. All the works. Now if that got me completly messed up just imagine when they announced a European tour. Holy shit. I was done for. The day that tickets were supposed to go on sale I was up at 6 am, in front of my laptop, refreshing the page every minute, chewing on my nails and as soon as they were out, ordered and payed for I thought I will die on the spot. Seeing Guns N' Roses live was like going to the moon for me, you know what I mean? Something you know is possible yet it will most likely never happen. And then it did. My hands are still shaking and my mind and heart are still racing.

Vienna is one of my favorite cities on this planet as is. It's so full of art and music and life. I love it. Not to mention I saw most of my favorite bands there. But on Monday morning it was far from my favorite. The weather was a mess. I mean when you've got pouring rain, lightning strikes, thunder, hail and a tornado which is really uncommon for this part of Europe all happening a few hours before a sold out stadium show? God I wanted to scream. I felt like someone up there is punishing me. You know that feeling? Oops Nikki is happy, we best do something to fuck that up for her.

Luckily the skies seemed to calm down and there was just some light rain. They had roadies wiping down the stage after each song. Making me feel like; god! those lucky bitches, who wouldn't want to wipe that stage down for them? Their sweat is like holy water. I bet they sweat glitter or something. If I'd get the chance to do that I would wipe the shit out of that stage. Hah. Jesus Nikki focus.

Oh my god the boys are back in town baby! It's real, they're real, they're really back. And you know what I loved most? That they all seemed genuinely happy, enjoying themselves during the show. My jungle king himself, Axl Rose is in an amazing vocal form and he was all smiles and grins Monday night, making my heart go into overdrive and legs weak in the knees. Yes I know he's 55 and I am 25. No, I don't care.

Weather aside the concert was amazing. Mindblowing. Perfect. So perfect. There are hardly words to describe just how amazing they really are. Don't mind me just hyperventilating from the memory over here. It starts with two support bands, Tyler Bryant and Wolfmother, which by the way are great and when they leave there's graphics on the three huge screens, guns, roses, their logo with the name and flag of the country they're in. Every now and then the guns on the biggest screen in the middle fired with a really loud bang that mady your entire body vibrate. They know how to keep you on edge.

And then oh my god…then the Looney tunes song. You know what that means right? Oh be still my beating heart, if it wasn't about to jump out before then at that tiny short tune it had to. McBob their roadie comes on stage then, he's been their announcer for years. I only saw one other band with an announcer, that were the Stones. McBob said ''a band that needs no introduction, but gets one anyway! ". I actually thought it's going to be something along the lines of ''ladies and gentlemen the most dangerous band in the world''. Who ever came up with that, dangerous, please, they're more like fluffy, cuddly, teddy bears. I sure know I'd like to cuddle with some of them, well at least three of them. Of the current lineup that is.

When they came on stage, one by one, and that first note of It's so easy hits. My god, the breath was gone from my lungs. They were suddenly more then just pictures on my records and walls, they were real. That rush of adrenaline when you see someone you loved and admired for so long standing in front of you. It's a feeling like no other. It's so easy that went straight into Mr. Brownstone. And then Chinese democracy, Welcome to the jungle, Double talkin' jive, Better, Estranged, Live and let die *which was almost acoustic*, Rocket queen *minus the sound effects, shame*, You could be mine *if only*, Attitude, This I love, Civil war, Yesterdays, Coma, Sweet child o' mine, Used to love her, Out ta get me, Wish you were here, November rain, Black hole sun, Knocking on Heavens door, Nightrain and an encore with Patience, The Seeker and of course Paradise city, which had the most amazing fireworks I've ever seen.

You know I've been following the band for years *obviously* and there were past chances to see them, well what was left of the band anyways, it never felt right. Even if the previous few line ups had some of the fiercest and greatest players in the rock world. And now…now when at least Duff and Slash are back home where they belong it feels like…a breath of air for someone who is drowning.

And you know what is the best part of it all? Slash. His fire and passion is back and I can't describe the happiness. Maybe it's because of Richard Fortus, who let's face it is amazing *I'm so sorry Izzy* but there's just one Slash. Guitar god. He doesn't play the guitar he makes love to it. The way his fingers dance over those strings is nothing if not mesmerising. He's focused, he's energetic, he's fast, his solo's are nothing if not mindblowing. The way he played the theme song of The Godfather that slowly turned into the intro of Sweet child of mine was just….jesus take the wheel I can't take this no more kinda thing. The audience was great, they were singing along and everything but I think Sweet child was the best, obviously everyone completly lost it when that first few notes hit. I could hear that song a million times on repeat and I would still love it as much as I did the first time.

And then you've got Axe, I'm trying not to be biased though we all know he could stand on that stage and blink and I'd still think it's the best thing ever. But honest to god his piano playing was amazing, he plays a long intro, starting with Layla that slowly leads into November rain. Now this song always was and always will be one of my favorites. The lyrics, that guitar solo, the piano, the voice, the emotion in the voice. My god. I had tears pouring down my face when he sang that song. And the shower of sparks in the middle of the song with the band standing underneath…''So never mind the darkness, we still can find a way. 'cause nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain''. A lyric that I repeat to myself when things go wrong. A lyric that keeps me stronger. A lyric which makes the world seem a bit brighter then it is. And a song that holds so much personal meaning, and memory and love.

Then you've got a moment where Ax changes his clothes or hat for about a millionth time…I wonder who does his laundry because I would totally volunteer. Like just imagine for a second ''what do you do for a living?'' ''oh you know, just making sure Axl Rose can change 10 fucking shirts on stage every night''. Must be a dream job. Right where was I? Oh of course, the one and only Mr Duff Mckagan steps up for the punk explosion of “Attitude”. And it really is explosive. I wouldn't mind some of his attitude to be honest. Duff totally killed Misfits with it. I'm sorry guys but he's just…perfect.

''Loaded like a freight train, flyin' like an aeroplane, feelin' like a space brain, one more time tonight''. Brings us to about two and a half hours of the show but come on of course they're not done yet. The encore began with an almost acoustic version of Patience which I loved because you can really hear Axl's more then amazing voice. Following Patience is also the Seeker and of course the final song Paradise city. If I used to wonder before where Paradise city is, let me tell you right now that I found mine. And they go out with a bang, Paradise city has a shit ton of pyro that is completly in tune with the music. It's amazing, that long instrumental part of the song at the end with fireworks banging in the background and the band in a cloud of smoke and the ''I wanna go, I wanna go, oh won't you please take me home. I wanna see, oh won't you please take me home. Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, take me home.''.

The show just hits that 3 hour mark when the band takes one final bow on the stage. 3 hours that felt like 3 minutes if you ask me. I could stay there and listen to them for another 3 hours and it still wouldn't be enough. So yeah the tickets were expensive as hell but I promise you well worth every cent, Guns N' Roses are still the greatest hard rock band in the world, and even though impossible since stadiums don't have a roof, if it did, they'd blow that bitch right off. I watched the show with my mouth hanging open, tears streaming, broken voice from screaming and completly dazed and tingly. ''Not in this lifetime''? God I'm so happy they changed their minds.

Don't cry because it's over, be happy it happened right? My favorite band and people in the whole wide world. Let's hope this wasn't a first and last kinda thing because my heart couldn't handle it. So thank you boys for giving me the best night of my life, I won't ever forget it, I love you, I love you, I love you.

One last thing, I don't want to do this but I need a peace of mind. A quick note to the ''brains'' or should I say lack of them behind an article on an Austrian web page. Writing a review so vile it made me wish I wouldn't understand a word of German language. I mean I get it they're not your cup of tea and that's fine we can't all like the same things. But how fucking dare you?! All the talk about how they look, or better yet how awful YOU think they look. Is that an insecure little girl inside of you, making everyone else look bad so she feels good about herself? Do you listen to music with your eyes? Do looks have anything at all to do with music? If so I'm willing to bet The Stones wouldn't be one of the biggest bands out there right now. Slash can't tune a guitar right? Bitch are you kidding me? Slash could choke you with one hand while still play any one of his solo's perfectly while doing it. Ax lost his voice? Honestly fuck you, if anything Axe sounds better now then ever before. I don't know why you're so bitter, I don't know what your problem with them is but what I do know is that you're not even worthy of breathing the same air as them. That's it, I'm done, before this gets too ugly. We all know there's a lot more I'd like to tell to this ''music blogger''. In person. With fists. But it's not ladylike to behave that way now is it.

Oh what the hell. Can't end this post on negativity. So instead I'll share one last thing. My writing process is complicated. It's either a ten page post in 1 hour or a few lines over the entire week. I have to admit this post turned out to be one of the hardest I've done. Ever. It's hard enough to write down what you feel and it's even harder when there's so many feelings that you feel like you could explode. I've been writing down lines, thoughts, emotions all week, which I managed to piece together into a semi normal post. It's a little scrambled I'm aware but let it be, lord knows my mind is even more. Scrambled that is. As a bonus though, I'll keep a couple of notes I wrote during the week. They are in full on crazy fangirl mode that annoys just about everyone, but they're also lines written by a really estatic and happy version of me, that you'll most likely never see again. Fair warning; things may get messy, dirty and explicit above this line...

Ohhh my god are you kidding me? Has anyone really looked at Duff before? Like does he look at himself? Is he aware of how ridiculously hot he is? Does he even sweat like normal people? No. He sweats rainbows and glitter, so help me god he's just too damn attractive. Attitude? Can I have some of it? Preferably in an elevator where we are convinetly stuck for about 3 hours, with no power and nothing to do.

Are they even real? This did just happen? Oh my god I was just dreaming wasn't I? I'll wake up anytime now realizing I just imagined the whole thing. Disappointing really. If it's a dream I could at least get to shower with one of them after the show. Or all of them, I don't mind.

Fucking hell they're so amazing and sooooo WILD! AX'S VOICE! THAT DAMN VOICE. The man could choke me and I would thank him so help me god. ''Feel my serpentine?'' dear god in heaven what do you want? To kill me? Because I'm pretty sure you did. He's so hot, the little dance moves, THE SMILE! The thing he does at ''and you're a very sexy girl, very hard to please, you can taste the bright lights but you won't get there for free...'' send help.

SLASH, SLASH, SLASH! Guitar god omfg, playing behind your head?! As if those riffs aren't hard enough. Why are you doing this to me? Why?

Axl...something so charming about him, I don't know what it is but it's just...ahhh...can't stop staring at him. And he's so wild. And he salutes the fans, and smiles, and just...okay I'm done. Really. If I had a fucking star each time he makes me smile, I swear I'd have a whole damn sky.

Duff, Duff, Duff, Duff, he's is sexy. Like he is the hottest thing alive, I can't even. 10/10 I would so call him daddy.

November rain, I died. The best thing on this planet. That one song. Those effects, the storm on the screen and on the sky at the same time. The genius Ax on the piano. The voice. The chills. Oh my god.

I love them I love them I love them. I can't even comprehend that I actually saw them, breathed the same air as them, heard my favorite songs live that I never thought I would.

Seriously though November rain! It's the most beautiful thing on the planet what the fuck?! Happy tears. So many happy tears. Literally the best night of my life, bring on the post concert depression because it will hurt like a bitch. It already does. I already miss them. Sigh.

Words of ''wisdom'' by an older man I met at the show ''sugar, if your age is on the clock, you're too young for Roses cock''. I actually choked on water. Yep. Did he mean digital or regular clock though? Cuz actually you know it's not 24:00 it's 00:00, meaning I'm off of both clocks. Hah.

The music. Have you ever heard better music in your life? I doubt it. They are nothing if not pure perfection...

I did warn you haven't I? It's a miracle I managed to piece something normal out of this isn't it? There was more but I'd say this was enough crazy fangirl behavior for now. I promise you though most days I am not this crazy. Only sometimes. Sometimes I don't just fangirl, sometimes I do ''obsess''. Enjoy the weekend guys, I'll see you on Monday, most likely with another review. Look after one another, stay safe and for the love of everything holy, play some good old rock 'n' roll music.