I'll see you in my dreams.

It's been a few days huh? Since the concert I mean. The Boss in Vienna. I've been meaning to write a couple of words but life got in the way. As usual. Natural disaster after natural disaster. First it was massive storms, then it was a tornado, then it was an earthquake and now it's ended (hopefully because I'm not ready for locusts) with Biblical floodings. I don't know who hates us, well actually lots of people hate us lately, but the fury mother nature unleashed on us in the past couple of days…it's unseen. At this point, if any of my fellow citizens are reading, guys stay strong, we can get through this together. 

Now first things first, y'all know I love Vienna, it's my favourite place right after Italy and our seaside. It always feels like returning home when I'm there. Sorta. I know the city by heart, I love it, I love it's streets, I love it's vibe, the history, the culture. I love everything about it. And I love going to all the places I don't have at home, you guys know me, bookstores and Starbucks. Guys! They renovated Thalia book shop on Mariahilferstrasse and you know what?! It literally has a cafe inside, you can get coffee, a snack and read in peace! I think my brain exploded upon seeing that. Also, let me point out that I shouldn't be allowed unsupervised in a bookstore with my boyfriends credit card. Just saying. Also he shouldn't be as kind as he is saying ''buy as many as you want baby''. What did I do to deserve him? Also I did buy as many as I wanted…and would probably buy more but who's going to carry all that? Oh the boyfriend duh! That's why we have them to pay and carry bags, am I rite ladies? Lol just kidding, I know he's reading this, I'm sorry babe, you know I love you. 

Side note, extremely excited for the new Ali Hazelwood, though when will I get to read it? Who knows, as I keep saying, book buying and book reading are two completely different hobbies. Now lets get back to the Boss. This concert was sold out within minutes, and there were no tickets to buy anywhere, can you imagine? No scalpers to rob you of your money, shocking but also…so humbling in a way. I think everyone understands the scale of this show. The scale of the man. He's an amazing musician and there aint nobody like him out there. I'm not just saying because I'm quite literally obsessed with him but because it's the truth. There is just one ''THE BOSS''. I literally fought to get tickets, I bought them a minute after they were put on sale almost a year before the show and I think it was literally hunger games to get them, because we all feared it might be his last tour. It might be. It might not be. Rumors are spreading for both. I understand if he'd wanna quit touring and focus on things he loves like the Broadway or podcasts or books, but also I'd have a hard time accepting never seeing him live again. If this was my last show…that's a hard pill to swallow. The entire vibe of the show felt sorta final you know, a lot of talks about dark thematics, death, endings, sadness, with uplifting moments in between. And on the other hand on the last concert of the tour he said ''we'll be back'' so…who knows really besides the Boss?

First things first let me complain for a quick second, first time I saw him at this stadium,that was in 2012, the concert was 3 hours and 41 minutes long, like police came to shut down the power long. It was the ''Wrecking ball'' tour and my first time seeing him. Of course you never forget your firsts. It was an amazing experience and one of my favourite concerts as is. And also he did one of my fave songs then which is ''Waitin on a sunny day''. It's no secret though that while I love Vienna my favourite concerts are actually Italy and if Milano was on this tour I'd rather be there. Nothing beats Italian fan actions, temparament and just Italy in general. Oh! Guys you know I am obsessed with these cups you can now buy on stadiums right? Obsessed, and of course I had to get one here as well, even if water costs 8 euros, which is absurd and should be either holy water or Bosses sweat and tears to make it worth that price. Just saying. But like….look at it! Perfection.

The tickets! Expensive as fuck but so worth every cent, first row, almost down on the grass of the stadium. If you think I didn't cry over my tickets you are wrong. Thank you goes to a friend of mine who made sure I get the best tickets, who in turn as a gift got my tiny drawing of Bruce, which he absolutely loved. Made my whole day, week, month, maybe even year. I honestly am so grateful to have him, to know him, and to make someone who makes me so happy, SO happy in return, that means the world to me. Yes I want to be a paid artist but believe me guys, no money is better then genuine happiness you can give someone with your art.  

So this show was quite a bit shorter, about 2 hours and 30 minutes, he opened with ''No Surrender'' and closed with ''I'll see you in my dreams''. Patti was not present like she wasn't most of the tour unfortunally. And there was another ''first'' on this tour which is that most of it with slight deviations was identical. Meaning all shows the same in setlist. People complained about it but you know what? I actually like that because then I don't have to mope and complain how some people get a better setlist than I. Yes I am looking at you Guns n' Roses, two shows and I didn't get ''Don't cry''? Guess what? I am fucking crying over that. People also complained about the actual setlist because there were less big hits but a mix of everything. I honestly wouldn't even mind if all he sang was the last album and those are all covers. Just sayin. 

As you can imagine I completely fucking lost it three times, ''Letter to you'', ''Nightshift'' and ''The River''. Shrieking hysterically, amusing everyone around me because yes I was the youngest on my part of the stadium and probably the most excited. Like I may chuck my bra on stage type excited. I noticed less talking between songs too, I mean there was hardly a pause in between, he hardly took a deep breath to carry on with the next song after one ended. 

Here's the deal, in between, he takes time to give a little speech about his joining the band in the mid 60s and then 50 years later about the death of his friend George Theiss who was actually the person that hired Bruce as a guitarist, when he was still a teen. He talked about how final death is and that's what I meant with the somber atmosphere, it was quite…dark. To say the least. And it made me feel a bit unsettling. Like…this is final. Like he's talking about death because this is also the death of the band. Which means at the end, the last song, darkness, the cell phone lights, ''I'll see you in my dreams''? The waterworks came on. Like a whole bunch, like sleeves caked in black makeup waterworks. Last time this happened this bad, we were in Italy and Bon Jovi were singing ''Always''. I'm never getting over that one. 

I have a different complaint tho, not about the setlist but about merchandise prices, like, sweetie, honey, are you fucking insane?? What were those prices? 30 euro tote bag? 50 euro shirts? Which obviously means I had to get two. Am I also insane then? Probably but guys…look at my prized possesions…

I'm not going to spam you forever, I'll make this short. For once. If I don't this will turn into a Bruce blog at some point. Basically all you really need to know, this was an absolutely amazing show, and if you've never seen him live. You have too. Because there's musicians and then there's Bruce. And there's concerts and then there's Bruce. There's nothihng like him and nobody like him. Point is. I absolutely love him and I hope I can end this post with ''until next time, Bruce, thank you, I love you''. 

The Wrecking Ball tour

Maybe love letters to bands is what I'm supposed to be doing on this blog. I tried traveling and lifestyle and makeup you know the works, didn't end up so well. Maybe I could write a whole rant about this new shampoo I tried this month and believe me it's beyond amazing. But who the hell cares about my hair? Even I don't most days so why should you? This was one of the things behind the reason of todays blog...

Here's a warning, I'm going to sit here, chew on my favorite chocolate cookies and whine about how much I love Bruce Springsteen. But first! I got an email recently from this woman, at least I think it was a woman, giving me a full blown rant about how it boggles her mind that millenials love Bruce, if there's nostalgia for a time we didn't live in behind it and that at the end of the day when stripped bare he is nothing but an awerage singer nobody would think twice to listen. Listen bitch, here's my reply to that statment, goest thou to hell, and swiftly please, and there may Azmodaeus himself suckle from your diseased teat. There.

Now back to Bruce. I could sit here and list you at least 50 reasons why he's the most amazing man on the face of this earth, but I have a feeling you don't really want to read that. How about just a few? Will you suck it up for a couple? Oh shoot tough luck, you have no choice, I'll still write whatever the hell I want to write. Sorry.

Looks aside *I always found him to be a handsome man* he is extremly humble. Do you know the album ''We are the world'' that was originally started by Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder? Cute story, when most of the celebs on that album showed up in Limo's, Bruce came in his old pickup truck, parked it across the street and paid for parking. I know it doesn't seem like a huge deal but really it is. He has every right to act like a spoiled celeb but he just isn't like that.

The music. The music is not shallow or superficial, Bruce writes about things that matter to him, tradgedies, love, politics, changes in the world. His music is passionate and the fact that he sings it with so much emotion makes you feel it too. Streets of Philadelphia was one of the first movies that showed AIDS as a serious disease, as opposed to something ''outcasts'' had, like leprosy was pictured before that. Bruce wrote the title song, and it was from a first person account of a man with this disease. The song won an Academy award, a Golden globe and ''a few'' Grammys. Follwed was the album titled ''The Rising'' which was made to help the nation and possibly himself to heal and get back up on their feet after the 9/11 attacks. He himself decided to reach out to the people and help them, so much more to his home because there were people personally affected in New Jersey. What really struck me as an amazing gesture was that at the time he even sang at a funeral of one of his fans. I just find it amazing, the level of compassion and care he has.

I love him for never being quiet. I love him for standing up to what he feels is right. I loved him in Australia when he said he's embarrassed to be an American following Trumps win. I loved him when he taunted him with the song ''Don't hang up'' following Trumps childish behavior. And I loved him even more when he said ''Fuck Donald Trump'' on stage. Or better yet read it from a copy of the constitution someone threw on stage. I never heard him curse before so this...this was something. He's not the type to sit down and shut up, back in 2000 he wrote a song ''41 Shots'' about a man, an immigrant that was shot 41 times by the cops. I believe he angered quite a few police officers then even though the song itself wasn't a hateful song, all he did was show compassion towards the man that was killed. Though in that same year he donated a large sum of money to a woman who was left alone with three kids over night after her husband a police officer was killed. He's an amazing man. So many artists can and will turn a blind eye to issues such as these *coughkanyewestcough* but not him. Compassion is something we could all learn from him.

I absolutely adore him for all the effort he puts into making life better for the gay and LGBT community. I adored him even more after the cancelled North Carolina concert. I was so proud being his fan then and I still am today. Here's a quote by him, after the cancelled show;

“North Carolina cancelled: As you, my fans, know I’m scheduled to play in Greensboro, North Carolina this Sunday. As we also know, North Carolina has just passed HB2, which the media are referring to as the “bathroom” law. HB2 — known officially as the Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act — dictates which bathrooms transgender people are permitted to use. Just as important, the law also attacks the rights of LGBT citizens to sue when their human rights are violated in the workplace. No other group of North Carolinians faces such a burden. To my mind, it’s an attempt by people who cannot stand the progress our country has made in recognizing the human rights of all of our citizens to overturn that progress. Right now, there are many groups, businesses, and individuals in North Carolina working to oppose and overcome these negative developments. Taking all of this into account, I feel that this is a time for me and the band to show solidarity for those freedom fighters. As a result, and with deepest apologies to our dedicated fans in Greensboro, we have canceled our show scheduled for Sunday, April 10. Some things are more important than a rock show and this fight against prejudice and bigotry — which is happening as I write — is one of them. It is the strongest means I have for raising my voice in opposition to those who continue to push us backwards instead of forwards.”

Here's the deal, Bruce is an amazing storyteller, his songs are stories, you can sit in a dark room and imagine he's sitting next to you telling you a story while listening to his voice. There's just so much compassion and emotion in his voice, it gives me shivers all over. Jon Stewart once said ''Bruce doesn’t sing, he testifies'', and also ''When you listen to his music, you aren’t a loser. You are a character in an epic poem… about losers.''. Made me laugh out loud.

I love the always and never serious persona he has, I love the way he knows just how to mock church and christianity, I loved it when he was asked to preform at the catholic school he attended and he made the priest leave the show by singing ''Red headed woman''. I love those silly stupid dirty jokes. I love his dedication to fans, he's going to stand on stage and preform for almost 4 hours making sure the fans get their money's worth for the tickets. I love that he dances with fans, I love that he does sign requests. I love the fact that his shows are never the same, he changes his setlist every night and doesn't give a flying fuck about it. The laugh! That laugh. Infectious.

That was more then a few wasn't it? Sorry, got carried away I suppose. I actually wanted to write about the first time I saw him live because that was...I can hardly even find words for it. It was in Vienna Austria and I was there about a week before the show. Basically on vacation with the ''highlight'' his show. I was beyond nervous the entire week. Kept busy with museums, art galleries and the wax museum which was SO much fun, but the anticipation was killing me. On the morning of the show, I was up at 6 am, pacing up and down the hotel room, driving everyone insane, freaking out at the near thought of ''oh my god, Boss and I are breathing the same air right now and looking at the same sky''. Silly me, we always do that but being in the same country, well that's what made the difference.

By some miracle I didn't rub my eyes with nail polish remover or put salt in my coffee. I did chug a beer before the show though. Cute story. I had a shirt on saying ''I am lost, return me to Jon Bon Jovi'' and I walk by this pub and this man, from Belfast of all places yells after me ''but I don't know where Jon is'' and I'm like ''drinking a beer with Bruce in New Jersey'' and he goes ''Can't Boss is here'' and I'm like ''we'll see that tonight won't we?''. His face was priceless. Of course I was just joking, so then he asks me to sit down, he said he's no Bon Jovi but he'll buy me a beer if I want. So I sat down, we got talking, do note that the accent is a proper bitch, had to make him speak proper English to understand half of what he was saying. It was fun though, we still stay in touch with a couple of emails now and again. He was a bit older then me, huge fan of the Boss, so no wonder we clicked.

After that we went to the venue together, short walk to the subway and two wrong trains later we were at the stadium. Here's the nerves, I know Vienna almost better then my own city, and I know the damn subway yet I went to the wrong train. Twice! God damn nerves.

Waiting for the stadium to open was actually super fun. I met so many amazing people, people that came from all over the world just to see the Boss preform in Europe. I always found that both insane and totally cool. Lord knows if money wasn't an issue I'd see him at least 5 times on one tour. One show is never enough.

Though the Boss was a little late, powdering his nose and getting into his skinny jeans no doubt, he came on the stage saying ''Servus, Wien!'' and that's all he really needed to win the crowd over. He has this amazing energy with the fans, whatever he says goes, it's incredible. The show was sold out in minutes and lasted 3 hours and 41 minutes which was longer then the allowed time. Which was also a record, no musician before him has had a show last this long at the Ernst Happel stadium. The show opened with the song ''We take care of our own'' and closed with ''Twist and shout''. It has always been a dream of mine to see him preform that song live with Paul McCartney. *Sigh* maybe someday.

Here's the fun part. The authorities turned the lights off and said that the show is over at 11 pm sharp. Never hated the police more in my life, yet the Boss and the band didn't care and just carried on rocking, maybe even teasing a bit because at the end they just did a cover and made it as long as possible. All together there were 31 songs, new, old, and even rarely heard ''Spirit in the night''. Before the song started, he gave an emotional speech about ''spirits'' people that we lost and that we miss but are always close to us, they never really leave us. It was just...you know...made me go into a full blown fountain mode. There were of course, Dancing in the dark, Hungry heart, Born in the USA. That last one was especially amazing, the entire venue stood up, everyone in the sitting area, screamed those lyrics with him and danced along to Twist and shout. I get goose bumps all over just thinking about that moment.

Of course I was gritting my teeth, sitting in the sitting area with an amazing view but I thought I'd fly over the railing and crowd surf to the stage when he was shaking hands and touching the fans. I can hear my mother saying ''What good would that give you? So you touched him, big deal?''. Uh no mother, touching the Boss? That's different, I'd feel like I touched God. I want to know how that feels like. Don't even get me started on the girl that got to dance with him or the little boy that got to sing with him. Jealousy aint pretty I know and if it could burn I'd burn the entire bloody city down at that very moment. I said to myself next time. Didn't happen. So here I am saying this once again. Next time. And I will settle for nothing less then front row.

The Wrecking Ball tour was different, the vibe, the songs, the album is different. He was angry, angry at the politics, angry at America's current situation. Poor baby, didn't know 5 years ago just how bad it's about to get. But it's those feelings that gave the most amazing album. I love it from start to finish, every line and every note, hands down one of my favorite albums ever made. Oh! OH! Have I told you how I ended up entertaining the people around me more then the Boss himself? I was basically a kid back then. I mean not a kid but a teenager, I'd lie if I said there were plenty same aged people around. Mostly older people came to the show. Rather obvious aint it? Anyways those people around me enjoyed my screaming tantrums when he was walking around touching the fans far more then what the Boss was doing. A man next to me couldn't stop laughing the entire time, even asked me for a picture after the show. We took one together while debating that we need to find at least one person from the front row, to tell us in excrushiating detail what's it like to touch God. That never happened by the way.

At the end of the day, this wasn't just a concert it was an experience. Unlike any other. I wouldn't trade it for the world. There are so many things about the Boss I adore, so many political views that I share, so much power that inspires me. He inspires me so much. He gives me strenght to fight and carry on even when the times get tough. I completly and totally adore him and seeing him for that first time felt completly out of this world. The second concert was amazing as well but nothing compares to the ''first time'' aye? You never forget your firsts they say and this is surely something I won't ever forget.

To end this post I'd like to share a quote by Barack Obama...

“It's no wonder that his tours are not so much concerts, but communions. There's a place for everybody -— the sense that no matter who you are or what you do, everyone deserves their shot at the American Dream; everybody deserves a little bit of dignity; everybody deserves to be heard. I've seen it myself. Bruce was a great fan -- a great friend over the last year, and when I watched him on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial when he rocked the National Mall before my inauguration, I thought it captured as well as anything the spirit of what America should be about. On a day like that, and today, I remember: I'm the President, but he's The Boss.”

And aint that the truth? Enjoy the weekend guys, love eachother, think with your own heads and stay safe.

Meet me tonight in Atlantic City.

I got some good advice the other day...something along the lines of ''the more you love yourself, the less bullshit you'll tolerate''. It's probably true no? I mean if we don't value ourselves, we let people walk all over us. And then there was another advice from my best friend, he said, ''Nikki honey, I doubt vodka is the anwser but it sure is worth a shot''. Smart man. That same one that once said to me that vodka is just potato that chose the best career. I do not support excessive drinking by the way before you're all on my throat again. I enjoy a drink every now and then but getting drunk? No thank you. And you shouldn't do it either. Be smart about it guys...

Here's to another monday. I'm back, rambling about music, today's choice is the one I'm listening to, while reading a book about the lives and deaths or rock n roll legends. Aparently I enjoy torturing myself. This shit is painful, they all died so young and so tragic. And I kept it together but then there was Jim Morrison and goodbye self control. Also a quick note to the author, I'm very offended that you did not include Jani Lane in your book. I get it, his music was hair metal, he was nowhere near Hendrix or Queen's succsses but he was still a legend and should be included in this book. Right, back to the record, here we go...

Bruce Bruce Bruce...the only real love of my life as I like to put it. The one person in my life who hasn't dissapointed me yet or broke my heart in one way or another...I probably love this man a little too much. River is one of my favorite albums ever made, not by him, but generally from every single album there is out there. I find it funny, the River came out, it was Bruce's first number one, Hungry heart was a huge hit, world tour was all but sold out, you'd expect his next album to be similar, you know keeping the momentum alive and all that. But no, Bruce being Bruce did a something completly different and released Nebraska, which is dark and brooding and nothing at all like the River.

"Everything dies baby, that's a fact. But maybe everything that dies some day comes back."

I don't think there's anything more then his voice, acoustic guitar and harmonica on this record. And the lyrics, murder, loss, loneliness. Makes me wonder, why the hell would you go so dark on us? But I do appreciate the fact that he sung in the first person which gives them this intimacy that I don't feel often while listening to an album. I mean the cover alone gives you this dark, depressed vibe, like an opening of a movie about desperation. I suppose this is one of them rare cases where you can actually ''judge a book by it's cover''. The ten songs on this album are just as haunting as the cover is, simple melodies, soft guitar, harmonica. They talk about people who lost everything, maybe even their souls. I find the songs absolutely brilliant. I know most of these people are just characters, they're probably not even real, but he brings them to life so well. You actually feel the sadness and despair these made up people would feel in search of themselves and their lives. He's giving a voice to those that don't have a voice because though made up there are people out there living lives like that, people that are too beaten down to speak up for themselves and the sad part is...I understand them all too well. I feel like I can connect. Maybe that's why this album speaks to me so much...I feel like I can melt into their lives even if for just for a moment...I can't say though that this version of Nebraska he talks about is a place I'd like to visit but I love to replay that album and get lost in these stories every now and then. Even if most times they make me sad, I remember how bad some people have it, some people that are just helpless and lost and been hurt so many times that they are just completly broken. I suppose here's a moral on this album though, remember to have empathy, don't judge till you know the whole story and help anyone you can, wherever and whenever you can. World would be so much nicer if we'd all just show some kindness to eachother. This album had a huge effect on me, I may be a fan of a lot of other musicians but there aint one single songwriter out there like Bruce. Not one that makes you feel like you've been sitting in the room with him, the world just melts away and he's telling you these stories...at least that's what it does to me. Here's the deal Nebraska was a risky and brave move, he literally stripped down his art right to the core and it payed of, he managed to record one of the most honest and hauntingly beautiful albums there are out there. There is so much compassion in every line, like he's trying to say that there's no peace in the darkness...I suppose at the end it comes down to a man and a dead dog, trying to revive him and another one, on the way to get married, but the bride doesn't show up, he's waiting for her, the river still flows and the people still find their own reasons to believe. It's simple and naive, the caption underneath Bruce's ''glorious'' picture of America. Bottom line he asks a lot of questions on this album and it seems to me that he dares you to go out and search for anwsers and guess what? Those anwsers are damn well worth your time. I love this album to bits and pieces and I honestly recommend you listen to it. Maybe pay attention to Atlantic city and Johnny 99, they're really something special.

Let me know how you feel about it, or recommend something, always open to suggestions, cheers guys, have a good week!

Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run.

Do you ever feel disconnected? From your surroundings, family, friends...yourself even? God lately I feel like everything is wrong. I'm trying to study. Trying to move from this point I'm stuck at and it's just not working out. Nothing really changes no matter how much I try and it's making me so frustrated. I feel disconnected even from my art. And that's the worst part. I love art, it's the biggest part of me and when I fuck that up then I know it's bad. What the hell do you do? How do you ground yourself? How do you start feeling like you again? I feel like everything is just out of control and I don't know what to do to make it better. People around me drive me mad, I don't know if it's them or if it's me...something just doesn't feel right. I feel like I don't belong. I feel like there's no place I actually belong and it's a horrible feeling. You know what's it like? Being home, where you're supposed to be, where you belong and feeling like a god damn alien...a stranger...a freak... You know what it feels like when even in your relationship everything feels wrong? When maybe love just isn't enough? You feel like and everything and nothing is wrong and you just can't pin point the problem? Yeah...maybe I live in a fairytale or in a sappy romantic comedy where the guy chases the girl down the airport profesing his undying love to her and then proposes and it's all cupcakes and rainbows? Yeah...maybe I live in an illusion. Love in this century is a bloody nightmare, everyone is a liar, everyone plays games, everyone cheats, everyone hurts people just for the fun of it. Nobody is exclusive. There is no trust, there is no love. If something is bothering you, if you're unhappy you just leave or cheat, nobody is willing to talk, to build together, to stay together...who the fuck taught us to love like this?! That this is right? That this what it should be like? I want cliche kisses in photobooths. I want candid pictures when I'm not looking, cute snapshots someone posts online saying how happy they feel to have me in their life. I want fucking roadtrips with widows down, soft rock playing on the radio, feet on the dash, and nothing but time to waste. No plan, no hurry, just going wherever we feel like going. I don't want just love, I want passion, I want hands clasped tight together during...you know...I want easy sundays, making late breakfast in nothing but big tshirts, smiles and no rush just enjoying the morning together. I want tv show marathones and movie nights and making out during breaks. I want I love you's, you're so beautiful and all the fucking pet names you can think of. My friend always says someday you'll wake up next to your person and everything is going to be alright. But that someday feels too far away and lately none of it feels right. There's just one thing that's right in my life right now...

I've been listening to Thunder Road a lot. It just makes sense. It makes everything better. I've had this record before but unfortunally lost it, my old one didn't have a poster though so I suppose everything is right again. Let me take a second to thank the kind soul who sold this one to me again, he knows who he is, I'm just very grateful for it. Bruce just makes me a lot happier.

I believe when Bruce went on to making this album he said he was going to make the ''greatest rock n roll record ever''. You think he made it happen or not? I honestly have to say that despite my huge obsession and undying love for him this isn't my favorite rock n roll album. But all that aside Born to run is amazing, absolutely flawless from start to finish. It's like every other Boss's album and song, telling it's own story. Thing is despite everything Born to run is one of the best rock albums ever. The lyrics, the melody, the whole package, Bruce held nothing back, he gave us everything he had proving that he works just as hard on stage and in the studio. If you sit down and just listen from Thunder road to Jungleland it's like you're watching a movie or reading a classic novel. Now how many albums or artists do you know that can do that? That can make you feel like that? Like you're watching a movie? It's quite honestly breathtaking. And timeless, you know what black and white movies are like, like Breakfast at Tiffany's? Well that's the same. This album hasn't aged a bit. It's just as amazing now as it was when it was released. I heard Born to run live both times I saw him and it was so amazing. I'm sometimes jealous of people who haven't experienced it yet. People who have yet to discover the Boss. I wish I could take that journey again. First time I put on that record that changed my life, first time I saw him live. The rush, the excitment. It was an experience I tell you that. I think I love Born to run so much because it speaks volumes and with so much meaning. I think pretty much everyone can relate to being trapped in a dead end suburban town when there's nothing you'd want more then run away. Point is, if you like Bruce then you already have this, you know what it means and you understand. If you don't then you're doing life wrong, don't think twice about getting it. The passion, the innocence, the power, the life in these songs...they had a mad effect on me and I wouldn't change it for the world. Y'all need to understand that this is the album that woke up the music industry and honestly the fact that now 40 years later Bruce is still the Boss and still has such a huge impact on music and is such an important artist says everything about him, his work, his talent, his character. I always loved and respected music I know it can change lives, just look at Live Aid but I think I truly understood the power and the message when I saw the Boss live for the first time. I will never forget the ''spirit speech'' he gave us or what it was like when he sang Born in the U.S.A. and at some point he let the crowd sing and there were 60 000 people screaming those lyrics as loud as they could. It was an unbelievable experience. The lyrics, the musicians, the energy between the Boss and the crowd, between the E street band...spectacular. Please do me a favor and give this album a shot in case you don't have it yet. You will be amazed I promise. And do right by Bruce, play it loud, make sure the neighbors hear it is well and most important enjoy it. Cheers!

Out in the streets.

I have a feeling that before we manage to sell the place we're selling we will all go fucking insane. I felt like exploding with anger this morning, working with people has proven to be difficult to say the least. They are bloody impossible. And you try so hard to be polite and nice and do the right thing, but some people, some people would make a fucking nun swear so help me god. I don't claim to be the smartest or the nicest person on the planet but jesus I know how things work, I know how to talk to certain people. It's not rocket science. Enough about that, I had a terrible morning, barely calmed down after it. I don't need to get upset all over again. It's not worth it. People will always be people. Unfortunally. And then there will always be people like him...

I absolutely adore him. This record came out in October 1980 and my mother bought it in December 1980 by ''mistake'' she liked the cover. She always told me this is the record that made her fall in love with him and I can't say I don't see why. This album is nothing but pure perfection from start to finish, everything about it is amazing. I mean two records with such incredible music, Point Blank, The ties that bind, Hungry heart, Out in the street, I'm a rocker, Crush on you, and the ballads Little girl I wanna marry you, Fade away, The River which I believe is one of his most personal and beloved songs, I think he once mentioned that he himself and the fans conect with that song the strongest, as well as Independence day. You know how they say that every great album has a song that one ''filler'' song that is on there to waste space? Even the ''incredible'' White album, which by the way I have and hate. Well maybe not hate...I like ''Back in the USSR'' but I never managed to listen to the whole thing through. It's just...bleek. Either way I don't think these two have any, some people say Sherry Darling would be a filler but those people are insane. Sherry is such a fun song. One of my favorites actually. I think this album actually made a big change in his career, Hungry heart made him more mainstreem, probably gave him more radio play. I see the River as a ''book'' every song is a chapter, he puts so much thought into his work, his lyrics are so beautiful, so honest, so real it's insane. It's amazing thinking how many songs he wrote and they are all spectacular. They are all a story, they all have a message to tell. I think that's what I love most about him, I just can't find any pleasure in dull, repetive music with no ''soul''. Lyrics matter to me they're not just some words to drown out background noise. If you ever saw Springsteen live *if you haven't you're doing something wrong* then you can see just how amazing it is when he brings his music to life, he can display a ton of emotions, he can sing about hopelessness and anger and disappointment and make the entire venue feel the sadness and desperation he's portraying and he has the ability to turn it all around in a heartbeat, lifting the crowd to it's feet with something fast and energetic. It's pretty damn amazing if you ask me. I haven't seen an artist or a band do that before. And maybe the River is so amazing because I feel like he bottled all that, THAT what he gives us on stage onto this record, the emotions, the life, everything really, everything that makes him him. It's on it. And honestly it's absolutely mindblowing. Bruce is timeless, there will never be nobody better and nobody like him. He's the Boss and he's unique. Like The Stones or the Beatles or Guns N Roses, there are a few artists out there that are amazing like that when basically everything they put out is amazing, and it's impossible to pick favorites. Bruce isn't just about music, he stands for so many things and those things shine through in his songs, and maybe the album that best portrays him just might be The River. I mean here's where his sound grows up, becomes the sound...the Bruce Springsteen sound. Not to mention he wrote 60 plus songs in a little more then 18 months. It's madness! Specially when you think that Justin Biebers songs are written by 13*!* lyricists and they are still crap. Jesus christ. But anyways the River was now re realeased under the name ''The ties that bind, the river collection'' with a ton of previously unreleased songs and it's nothing short of perfection. I feel so fortunate to be able to catch The River tour because it was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. I only wish I could see it again. Yes yes I know, shut up. Hah. I love it so much bottom line every single music fan should have this album in their collection and enjoy it from time to time. You won't find another singer as spectacular as the Boss I promise you that.

Alright guys, spin a little Bruce and enjoy the week, see y'all on friday, Suicide Squad tomorrow. I'm so excited! Take care, stay safe, cheers.

We'd go down to the river and into the river we'd dive.

Now those memories come back to haunt me, they haunt me like a curse. Is a dream a lie if it don't come true or is it something worse. That sends me down to the river though I know the river is dry. That sends me down to the river tonight, down to the river my baby and I. Oh down to the river we ride...

Have you ever looked at the Boss' lyrics? Like I mean really look at them. You could make movie scripts out of one song. He tells stories with his songs...beautiful ones, angry ones, disappointed ones, nostalgic ones...And you have absolutely no idea how much I really miss that. I mean what is music lately? Sluts, hoes, swag? Come on. Where's the romance? Love? Rebelion? People wanted to have their hearts broken just to write a good song about it. I miss the music that carried a message, music that inspired you, made you feel things, music that touched you. Because to be fair all that music on the radio now actually makes me wanna do is roll my eyes excessively and get stuck somewhere between wanting to throw up and die just so I won't have to listen to another brain dead song again. Christ. No wonder kids are so damn stupid these days. All the reality shows, the brainless music, the movies they watch? Sweet jesus. They're not smart enough to realize that this is excatly what the world leaders want. Youth too stupid to revolt. If they, well hell, if we'd stand up and fight we could make a revolution. But I guess people are comfortable in their misery. If you shrug it of with ''what can I possibly do'' then you can never do better, you can never hope for a better life a better future. Or a change. I've read it the other day how it's the artists that see the world differently, the people in it, life in general and it's the artists that are often lonely, missunderstood or just plain unhappy in their environment. Fucking wonderful huh? It's a blessing and a curse. Maybe I'd be happier in general if I wasn't an artist if I was just one of the other random brain dead kids whos only fun is getting drunk on friday nights and watch stupid television shows that literally kill brain cells. And then on the other hand what am I without my art? I love drawing, I love photography, I love my music and I can never imagine being without it. I'm just frustrated I suppose...you know that one Simple plan song ''what the fuck is wrong with me don't fit in with anybody''...that's how I feel all the time. I just...I just don't fit in and I don't know how to connect with people, they're so different. I mean I don't even want these people around me. I don't want people that can't keep up conversations around me, I don't want people who's only highlight of their lives are parties, booze, makeup, shoes, boys. Come on. Don't you have bigger goals for yourselves? Is marriage and family really where it ends? I mean for fuck sake, don't you want to live? See the world? Experience life? Sure okay it's nice having someone in your life who's there for you through thick and thin, someone who loves you and understands you, if you're lucky enough to find a person like that in the first place...but still I don't think that should outweight all the rest. Honestly it's my biggest nightmare. Marriage, kids, mind numbing job from eight to four each day, lunch with the neighbors or picnics with friends on the weekends, a golden retriever, a white picket fence, a god damn Prius and and the same vacation spot each summer till the day I die. Oh my god. The thought of it gives me anxiety. Give me a gun now because if that's what my future would be like I don't even want to live to see it. I suppose this is the reason I feel lonely. People just don't see eye to eye on this one with me. I always end up being the weird one, the insane one. But seriously what is so crazy about having my own life as a priority? I want to travel, live, see the world, have a career, be fucking independent. I mean that right there was always more important to me then getting married and having kids. There's so much more to life then just work breed and die. I wish people would see that. Or if nothing else I wish people would understand we're all different, we have different goals, wishes, looks on life and we need to learn how to respect that. Nobody has the right to put somebody else down for something they want to do in their life. If you wanna be a stripper a porn star a prostitute, by all means go for it, I wouldn't dream putting you down for that because I know it wasn't your first choice and I know it takes guts to do a job like that. People need to learn to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of other peoples lives. You don't like my desitions, plans, choices, likes, dislikes, wonderful. But turn the fuck around because I am not here to please the ignorant. It's my life and I am just about done with ''you should, you could, you can't, you're this, you're that'' uh - oh no sweetheart oh no, it's my life, my way, your opinion? It means nothing to me. I don't enjoy being lonely but so help me god better lonely then five more minutes of terrible company. I learned that the hard way. A couple of times, because you know it, I don't make a mistake once, I make it a couple times just to, you know be sure. This is also the reason why I wish I could meet my favorite singers, it's not a groupie thing, or a dating thing or anything else along those lines, I wish we could sit down and talk, about life, love, the world, people...be friends you know...because in this fucked up world where everyone is just staring at me like I'm a complete psycho, they'd understand. I know they would. Alright I'm making this insanely long and I have a feeling y'all snoozed through it a couple times. Hah. If you're still with me thank you, I appreciate you comming this far. Here's a little drawing of the Boss I did yesterday. Finally. It only took me about seven tries till I got it right, and this is the first drawing in a long while I'm actually completly happy with...

How about something more positive to end this post with...I won't be seeing the Boss in Austria as I planned but I will see him in Milan two days sooner. Already got the tickets and I'm over the moon about it. Also I'm seeing my favorite boys again on Sunday and they are bringing Ghost town along! That's two days! Oh my god! For the third time already! I still remember what it was like seeing them for the first time. I was so nervous and excited I accidentaly removed my eyeliner with nail polish remover...yeah that didn't go so well. Hah. Come to think of it second time wasn't any better, we took a quick stop in a cafe on the highway and I threw salt in my coffee instead of sugar. Great job Nikki. Hah. Honestly the Boss is the Boss but Simple plan are a band that means more to me on a different level. We ''grew up'' together. They've always been there. And I'll be forever thankful for that. So safe to say I'm super excited, back in one of my favorite cities and also in my favorite venue which I haven't been in since June 2013. Also there's something I wanted to share...

Just sayin'. So y'all enjoy your weekend, I sure as fuck know I will! And you'll hear all about it on Monday if you want to or not. Take care, stay safe, look after one another. Cheers!

I'm on fire

"Something else is hurting you, that’s why you need pot or whiskey, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can’t think."

This is a quote of wisdom someone shared with me this weekend. Originally by Charles Bukowski I believe. And it's the god honest truth. That's why I love music. You get so lost in it you forget the world around you exists. It's so much easier putting on your music and ignore the world. People are just too much work. Everyone is so angry, everyone's opinions always have to be right. Everything always has to be a debate. Well guess what? Sometimes words are just words. They don't mean anything. There's no secret motive, no hidden agenda. Sometimes words are words and that's all there is to it. Maybe I'm tired of saying I'm fine all the time and people just going along with it because we're all programed to hide what we really feel or think...or maybe I'm just tired in general because things are just getting out of hand. Everything is a struggle, everything is a fight lately and to be fair I am completly done with it. What would Bruce Springsteen say to that?

The times are tough now, just getting tougher, this old world is rough, it's just getting rougher cover me, come on baby, cover me. Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me. Promise me baby you won't let them find us, hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us cover me, shut the door and cover me. Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me.

Outside's the rain, the driving snow I can hear the wild wind blowing turn out the light, bolt the door I ain't going out there no more.

This whole world is out there just trying to score I've seen enough I don't want to see any more, cover me, come on and cover me, I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me, looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me.

Y'all probably know the Boss is on a tour right now. ''The River'' tour, which believe me I can't form words that would describe my excitment. Maybe something along the lines of ''ASDFGHJKL'' and even that doesn't come close. I love him, I mean he's THE BOSS after all and The River is next to this record my absolute favorite one. I've seen the Boss back in 2012 when he was on his ''Wrecking ball tour''. Still get goose bumps thinking about it now. It was absolutely totally completly mind blowing. Over 50,000 people singing as loud as they can, the little speech he gave about people we've lost and miss everyday how they're still with us, no matter what, the piano solo he played, his E street band. Totally completly perfect nothing short of it. I think it's so cute when his wife is actually in the band with him and he goes ''is there a red headed woman in the house tonight?'' cute. Boss is my mom's favorite musician, she's been obsessed with him for like 30 years no joke. It's kinda the same love as me and Motley, Skid and Guns. THAT bad yeah. Though she's lucky. Boss remained the same while in my bands Vince left for a while, they broke up now, Sebastian is no longer a part of Skid for way too long and Guns...well we know that story, yet it seems like a part of my heart is being put back together now. Hah. Anyways back to Boss. I get why she loves him because I completly totally adore him. The voice, the lyrics, the music. Did y'all notice how perfect the Wrecking ball album is? He understands. If nobody else does. He does. This world is completly fucked up and if anyone knows that Bruce does. But anyways, Born in the U.S.A. is one of my favorite albums of all times, I could listen to it over and over again and never get tired of it. And also it holds my favorite Springsteen song. That one is hard to pick because come on have you heard a bad song by the Boss? I think not...yet for some reason my favorite song is and always will be ''Cover me''. I've seen enough and don't want to see no more too.

Here's a little memory from seeing Bruce years ago. Looking forward to be adding another ticket to this one. Can't wait to see you again Bruce!

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire, oh, I'm on fire.

Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? And can he do to you the things that I do? Oh, no. I can take you higher, oh, I'm on fire.

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull.

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head. Only you can cool my desire, oh, I'm on fire.