Out in the streets.

I have a feeling that before we manage to sell the place we're selling we will all go fucking insane. I felt like exploding with anger this morning, working with people has proven to be difficult to say the least. They are bloody impossible. And you try so hard to be polite and nice and do the right thing, but some people, some people would make a fucking nun swear so help me god. I don't claim to be the smartest or the nicest person on the planet but jesus I know how things work, I know how to talk to certain people. It's not rocket science. Enough about that, I had a terrible morning, barely calmed down after it. I don't need to get upset all over again. It's not worth it. People will always be people. Unfortunally. And then there will always be people like him...

I absolutely adore him. This record came out in October 1980 and my mother bought it in December 1980 by ''mistake'' she liked the cover. She always told me this is the record that made her fall in love with him and I can't say I don't see why. This album is nothing but pure perfection from start to finish, everything about it is amazing. I mean two records with such incredible music, Point Blank, The ties that bind, Hungry heart, Out in the street, I'm a rocker, Crush on you, and the ballads Little girl I wanna marry you, Fade away, The River which I believe is one of his most personal and beloved songs, I think he once mentioned that he himself and the fans conect with that song the strongest, as well as Independence day. You know how they say that every great album has a song that one ''filler'' song that is on there to waste space? Even the ''incredible'' White album, which by the way I have and hate. Well maybe not hate...I like ''Back in the USSR'' but I never managed to listen to the whole thing through. It's just...bleek. Either way I don't think these two have any, some people say Sherry Darling would be a filler but those people are insane. Sherry is such a fun song. One of my favorites actually. I think this album actually made a big change in his career, Hungry heart made him more mainstreem, probably gave him more radio play. I see the River as a ''book'' every song is a chapter, he puts so much thought into his work, his lyrics are so beautiful, so honest, so real it's insane. It's amazing thinking how many songs he wrote and they are all spectacular. They are all a story, they all have a message to tell. I think that's what I love most about him, I just can't find any pleasure in dull, repetive music with no ''soul''. Lyrics matter to me they're not just some words to drown out background noise. If you ever saw Springsteen live *if you haven't you're doing something wrong* then you can see just how amazing it is when he brings his music to life, he can display a ton of emotions, he can sing about hopelessness and anger and disappointment and make the entire venue feel the sadness and desperation he's portraying and he has the ability to turn it all around in a heartbeat, lifting the crowd to it's feet with something fast and energetic. It's pretty damn amazing if you ask me. I haven't seen an artist or a band do that before. And maybe the River is so amazing because I feel like he bottled all that, THAT what he gives us on stage onto this record, the emotions, the life, everything really, everything that makes him him. It's on it. And honestly it's absolutely mindblowing. Bruce is timeless, there will never be nobody better and nobody like him. He's the Boss and he's unique. Like The Stones or the Beatles or Guns N Roses, there are a few artists out there that are amazing like that when basically everything they put out is amazing, and it's impossible to pick favorites. Bruce isn't just about music, he stands for so many things and those things shine through in his songs, and maybe the album that best portrays him just might be The River. I mean here's where his sound grows up, becomes the sound...the Bruce Springsteen sound. Not to mention he wrote 60 plus songs in a little more then 18 months. It's madness! Specially when you think that Justin Biebers songs are written by 13*!* lyricists and they are still crap. Jesus christ. But anyways the River was now re realeased under the name ''The ties that bind, the river collection'' with a ton of previously unreleased songs and it's nothing short of perfection. I feel so fortunate to be able to catch The River tour because it was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. I only wish I could see it again. Yes yes I know, shut up. Hah. I love it so much bottom line every single music fan should have this album in their collection and enjoy it from time to time. You won't find another singer as spectacular as the Boss I promise you that.

Alright guys, spin a little Bruce and enjoy the week, see y'all on friday, Suicide Squad tomorrow. I'm so excited! Take care, stay safe, cheers.

We'd go down to the river and into the river we'd dive.

Now those memories come back to haunt me, they haunt me like a curse. Is a dream a lie if it don't come true or is it something worse. That sends me down to the river though I know the river is dry. That sends me down to the river tonight, down to the river my baby and I. Oh down to the river we ride...

Have you ever looked at the Boss' lyrics? Like I mean really look at them. You could make movie scripts out of one song. He tells stories with his songs...beautiful ones, angry ones, disappointed ones, nostalgic ones...And you have absolutely no idea how much I really miss that. I mean what is music lately? Sluts, hoes, swag? Come on. Where's the romance? Love? Rebelion? People wanted to have their hearts broken just to write a good song about it. I miss the music that carried a message, music that inspired you, made you feel things, music that touched you. Because to be fair all that music on the radio now actually makes me wanna do is roll my eyes excessively and get stuck somewhere between wanting to throw up and die just so I won't have to listen to another brain dead song again. Christ. No wonder kids are so damn stupid these days. All the reality shows, the brainless music, the movies they watch? Sweet jesus. They're not smart enough to realize that this is excatly what the world leaders want. Youth too stupid to revolt. If they, well hell, if we'd stand up and fight we could make a revolution. But I guess people are comfortable in their misery. If you shrug it of with ''what can I possibly do'' then you can never do better, you can never hope for a better life a better future. Or a change. I've read it the other day how it's the artists that see the world differently, the people in it, life in general and it's the artists that are often lonely, missunderstood or just plain unhappy in their environment. Fucking wonderful huh? It's a blessing and a curse. Maybe I'd be happier in general if I wasn't an artist if I was just one of the other random brain dead kids whos only fun is getting drunk on friday nights and watch stupid television shows that literally kill brain cells. And then on the other hand what am I without my art? I love drawing, I love photography, I love my music and I can never imagine being without it. I'm just frustrated I suppose...you know that one Simple plan song ''what the fuck is wrong with me don't fit in with anybody''...that's how I feel all the time. I just...I just don't fit in and I don't know how to connect with people, they're so different. I mean I don't even want these people around me. I don't want people that can't keep up conversations around me, I don't want people who's only highlight of their lives are parties, booze, makeup, shoes, boys. Come on. Don't you have bigger goals for yourselves? Is marriage and family really where it ends? I mean for fuck sake, don't you want to live? See the world? Experience life? Sure okay it's nice having someone in your life who's there for you through thick and thin, someone who loves you and understands you, if you're lucky enough to find a person like that in the first place...but still I don't think that should outweight all the rest. Honestly it's my biggest nightmare. Marriage, kids, mind numbing job from eight to four each day, lunch with the neighbors or picnics with friends on the weekends, a golden retriever, a white picket fence, a god damn Prius and and the same vacation spot each summer till the day I die. Oh my god. The thought of it gives me anxiety. Give me a gun now because if that's what my future would be like I don't even want to live to see it. I suppose this is the reason I feel lonely. People just don't see eye to eye on this one with me. I always end up being the weird one, the insane one. But seriously what is so crazy about having my own life as a priority? I want to travel, live, see the world, have a career, be fucking independent. I mean that right there was always more important to me then getting married and having kids. There's so much more to life then just work breed and die. I wish people would see that. Or if nothing else I wish people would understand we're all different, we have different goals, wishes, looks on life and we need to learn how to respect that. Nobody has the right to put somebody else down for something they want to do in their life. If you wanna be a stripper a porn star a prostitute, by all means go for it, I wouldn't dream putting you down for that because I know it wasn't your first choice and I know it takes guts to do a job like that. People need to learn to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of other peoples lives. You don't like my desitions, plans, choices, likes, dislikes, wonderful. But turn the fuck around because I am not here to please the ignorant. It's my life and I am just about done with ''you should, you could, you can't, you're this, you're that'' uh - oh no sweetheart oh no, it's my life, my way, your opinion? It means nothing to me. I don't enjoy being lonely but so help me god better lonely then five more minutes of terrible company. I learned that the hard way. A couple of times, because you know it, I don't make a mistake once, I make it a couple times just to, you know be sure. This is also the reason why I wish I could meet my favorite singers, it's not a groupie thing, or a dating thing or anything else along those lines, I wish we could sit down and talk, about life, love, the world, people...be friends you know...because in this fucked up world where everyone is just staring at me like I'm a complete psycho, they'd understand. I know they would. Alright I'm making this insanely long and I have a feeling y'all snoozed through it a couple times. Hah. If you're still with me thank you, I appreciate you comming this far. Here's a little drawing of the Boss I did yesterday. Finally. It only took me about seven tries till I got it right, and this is the first drawing in a long while I'm actually completly happy with...

How about something more positive to end this post with...I won't be seeing the Boss in Austria as I planned but I will see him in Milan two days sooner. Already got the tickets and I'm over the moon about it. Also I'm seeing my favorite boys again on Sunday and they are bringing Ghost town along! That's two days! Oh my god! For the third time already! I still remember what it was like seeing them for the first time. I was so nervous and excited I accidentaly removed my eyeliner with nail polish remover...yeah that didn't go so well. Hah. Come to think of it second time wasn't any better, we took a quick stop in a cafe on the highway and I threw salt in my coffee instead of sugar. Great job Nikki. Hah. Honestly the Boss is the Boss but Simple plan are a band that means more to me on a different level. We ''grew up'' together. They've always been there. And I'll be forever thankful for that. So safe to say I'm super excited, back in one of my favorite cities and also in my favorite venue which I haven't been in since June 2013. Also there's something I wanted to share...

Just sayin'. So y'all enjoy your weekend, I sure as fuck know I will! And you'll hear all about it on Monday if you want to or not. Take care, stay safe, look after one another. Cheers!

I'm on fire

"Something else is hurting you, that’s why you need pot or whiskey, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can’t think."

This is a quote of wisdom someone shared with me this weekend. Originally by Charles Bukowski I believe. And it's the god honest truth. That's why I love music. You get so lost in it you forget the world around you exists. It's so much easier putting on your music and ignore the world. People are just too much work. Everyone is so angry, everyone's opinions always have to be right. Everything always has to be a debate. Well guess what? Sometimes words are just words. They don't mean anything. There's no secret motive, no hidden agenda. Sometimes words are words and that's all there is to it. Maybe I'm tired of saying I'm fine all the time and people just going along with it because we're all programed to hide what we really feel or think...or maybe I'm just tired in general because things are just getting out of hand. Everything is a struggle, everything is a fight lately and to be fair I am completly done with it. What would Bruce Springsteen say to that?

The times are tough now, just getting tougher, this old world is rough, it's just getting rougher cover me, come on baby, cover me. Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me. Promise me baby you won't let them find us, hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us cover me, shut the door and cover me. Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me.

Outside's the rain, the driving snow I can hear the wild wind blowing turn out the light, bolt the door I ain't going out there no more.

This whole world is out there just trying to score I've seen enough I don't want to see any more, cover me, come on and cover me, I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me, looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me.

Y'all probably know the Boss is on a tour right now. ''The River'' tour, which believe me I can't form words that would describe my excitment. Maybe something along the lines of ''ASDFGHJKL'' and even that doesn't come close. I love him, I mean he's THE BOSS after all and The River is next to this record my absolute favorite one. I've seen the Boss back in 2012 when he was on his ''Wrecking ball tour''. Still get goose bumps thinking about it now. It was absolutely totally completly mind blowing. Over 50,000 people singing as loud as they can, the little speech he gave about people we've lost and miss everyday how they're still with us, no matter what, the piano solo he played, his E street band. Totally completly perfect nothing short of it. I think it's so cute when his wife is actually in the band with him and he goes ''is there a red headed woman in the house tonight?'' cute. Boss is my mom's favorite musician, she's been obsessed with him for like 30 years no joke. It's kinda the same love as me and Motley, Skid and Guns. THAT bad yeah. Though she's lucky. Boss remained the same while in my bands Vince left for a while, they broke up now, Sebastian is no longer a part of Skid for way too long and Guns...well we know that story, yet it seems like a part of my heart is being put back together now. Hah. Anyways back to Boss. I get why she loves him because I completly totally adore him. The voice, the lyrics, the music. Did y'all notice how perfect the Wrecking ball album is? He understands. If nobody else does. He does. This world is completly fucked up and if anyone knows that Bruce does. But anyways, Born in the U.S.A. is one of my favorite albums of all times, I could listen to it over and over again and never get tired of it. And also it holds my favorite Springsteen song. That one is hard to pick because come on have you heard a bad song by the Boss? I think not...yet for some reason my favorite song is and always will be ''Cover me''. I've seen enough and don't want to see no more too.

Here's a little memory from seeing Bruce years ago. Looking forward to be adding another ticket to this one. Can't wait to see you again Bruce!

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire, oh, I'm on fire.

Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? And can he do to you the things that I do? Oh, no. I can take you higher, oh, I'm on fire.

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull.

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head. Only you can cool my desire, oh, I'm on fire.