Don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness.

''All of our gods have abandoned us.''

Do you know the empty feeling? That emptiness after you lose someone or something? The emptiness when you let go of your dreams because you're looking for other people's approval? The emptiness that hits you after you stop caring for yourself and push yourself so hard for your career or school or whatever it is that is slowly killing you...or being numb, feeling like work is unsatisfying, feeling like you're unsuccessful in everything you do, feeling like your relationship is unfulfilling and nothing is exciting anymore...you know that feeling? Do you think maybe we feel empty because we leave pieces of ourselves in everything we used to love? Or maybe people are draining us, you give so much of yourself to someone and then they just walk away...Do you ever wonder how can a person be so happy and so full of life and then suddenly so empty? Where does it all go? Do you feel like no matter what you do it will never be good enough? Like you will never be good enough? Do you know that feeling when you're in a really good mood and then there's always something, a word, a thing you see, a person, a thought, that makes you go ''oh'' and you suddenly feel empty and your chest hurts and you feel nausious like the world around you it literally falling apart. Or that feeling when you just feel too much and then nothing at the same time. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

''Hollowness: that I understand. I’m starting to believe that there isn’t anything you can do to fix it. That’s what I’ve taken from the therapy sessions: the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.''

— Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train

But maybe, just maybe emotions should be like this. They're supposed to be brutal, strong, raw, passionate. You don't want someone to ''kinda'', ''sorta'', ''maybe'' love you, you want love that consumes you, you want it strong and wild, you want it to be a bonfire not a candle. So I guess that's why the negative emotions are just as strong. Here's the deal guys I get it. It hurts and it sucks and it feels like you're going mad and you feel like you can't take it no more. I get it, you're not alone. You feel like you're in a really dark place but I promise you there will be light as well. You're going to be alright. You need to accept that things won't be okay a while longer, then fight like hell, because someday....someday you'll be alright and all this will be a bad memory. You need to understand that being positive isn't always happy, it's knowing that things are bad but also knowing that they won't be bad forever. I promise you that one day it'll just ''click'', you'll just know. You will realize what's truly important and what isn't. You'll realize who is important and who isn't. You will learn to care less about things that don't matter, people that don't matter, things people say about you. You'll learn to care more about what YOU think of yourself because that's what truly matters after all. You'll realize how far you've come and you'll remember all the times you were a mess but recovered. And you will smile. You know why? Because you'll be proud of the person you grew up to be, the person you fought to be. Be proud of yourself, of everything you do, may it be a little thing or a big one. All this is just temporary, the pain is temporary. You know what they say about arrows right? An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards so if life is pulling you back then just look at this this way, it won't always be bad, someday you will be that arrow, aiming for greatness, all you got to do is believe and be willing to fight.

Thing is, holidays are coming up and just like each year people get into this shopping frenzy. And this family is coming over and that family is coming over and blah blah blah...you know how it goes. Well I hate it. Not the holidays itself, I don't mind if you like to celebrate then by all means do it. What I hate is the shopping malls that are basically forcing you to buy buy buy and all I think about is what about those people who have nothing? Who can't afford their children gifts? How must they be feeling looking at all this? It's absolutely disgusting and unfair. How about people suffering from whatever illness? They're spending holidays in hospitals, there's nothing ''jolly'' about the holidays for them. Or of course people that don't have family. People that miss their family and people who don't get along with their families. Not everybody lives in a Hallmark card. There are kids out there and grown ups for who the holidays are nothing but anxious and stressful events.

Which brings us to my point. I know that things can get hard during these days, so if you feel awful, empty, hopless, if you feel like crying that's alright, if you want someone to listen, I'm here, I don't care if we know eachother or not, I'll listen and do anything I can to make you feel a little less awful. You are not alone.

You can always email me *baby_im_a_monster@hotmail.com* or if you want to be annonymous leave me an ask on my tumblr *sweetchildofrocknroll.tumblr.com* don't be afraid to come talk, I don't care if we never talked before you can come and rant about your day if it makes you feel better, I'll be here to listen, because lord knows that's all we need sometimes someone to listen and care. A friend to help us through.

Stay safe out there guys, be kind and look after eachother.