What kind of a world do we live in?

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Probably more down's then up's too. The only thing keeping me sane is literally Bucky Barnes and Doctor Strange *I might be a bit of a geek yes, but Civil war and Doctor Strange are such good movies, well all of them are but this two happen to be my favorites* and the fact that I managed to rescue a kitty last night. After I spent an hour crying thinking I'd have to leave him out in the cold, but thanks to our shelter that came to pick him up in the middle of the night that is sorted. It's a no kill shelter as well and the cat was too adorable so I'm sure he'll find a new home in no time. It doesn't take much guys, a little random act of kindness, we should all learn how to be kind to eachother because the world is too dark as is. Kindness is all we have left. We're all the same, we don't need to treat eachother badly. We need to learn love and respect. Kindness begins with understanding we all struggle. You don't know the things someone is dealing with on the inside, untill you get to know that person. A friend once told me that I should radiate as much love as possible because love is like rain and we're all flowers in the desert. And he was right. Each day is a new opportunity, we should do good, be kind, be nice, help someone, smile to a stranger, be a friend to someone, encourage someone, care about someone, feed a hungry animal, pet a stray, let your words make a difference and heal not wound. But be cautious, be kind and gracious but don't let people take your kindness as your weakness, leave the beast inside you asleep not dead. You never know when you'll need it to come out and fight. Because no matter what you do, no matter how good you are, there are still people out there that will do the exact opposite. And though I believe love is stronger then hate, you still can't hug the hate out of someone.

So all that aside, I finished two drawings in the past week, that's all I do at night lately. Sleeping is an option I'm not getting so I best keep busy somehow...

That first one would be Norman Reedus, took me about twenty hours and I'm still not completly happy with it, or better yet the left hand. I really suck at drawing hands and it shows, that's why I've been trying to draw more of them lately. Practice makes perfect right? I couldn't draw faces and eyes like I do now way back when as well...for this one I used Kohinoor graphite pencils B, 2B and 4B, Derwents shading tool and blender, Faber Castells pencil eraser and a white ballpoint pen.

Second one is a portrait of Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange. I love Ben he did such an amazing job with this part and I had so much fun drawing him. Even if I struggle with color portraits. About 25 hours of work all together, Faber Castell polychromos, Kohinoor pencils B, 2B, 6B, I used pencils for the hair instead of black color pencils because it just looks nicer. Markers on the suit to blend the colors better and white ballpoint pen for some details. I hope you enjoy, I know it's not perfect but I'm trying. It's still only a part time activity that I love but hold no illusions that I could live of it.

Now. Back to the reason why I even write posts on mondays. I skipped my ''music monday'' more then once and it's about time I get back to it. With a record that's currently playing in my player...

Nashville Skyline is Dylan's 9th album, some people say it's also his best album. No arguing here since it's my favorite. It has the song Lay lady lay which is the only song in his recording history to hit top ten. I guess you could say he wasn't afraid to experiment a little bit, or pick up something from Johnny Cash since this record is completly different from anything he's done. It's missing the whole ''whiny''voice and the harmonica and *please don't shoot me* that's excatly what I like most. This was recorded and released in 1969 and I believe there's plenty Dylan was inspired by. In 1968 both Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy were assassinated, there were riots and political protests going on in major cities. Richard Nixon was sworn into the office at the begining of 1969. And I suppose at the time Dylan was a leading cultural figure, since he's been pretty vocal when it came to social and political commentary.

We all know that Dylan is a special kind of person, from his ''diva tantrums'' to his latest Nobel prize drama which by the way I still feel nobody is more deserving, because his lyrics are absolutely amazing. Except maybe the Boss, but that's a whole different story. Thing is that Dylan didn't give a damn about recording a masterpiece, he did his own thing not concerned with how it'll play out, but I think that's excatly what he did with this record. A masterpiece. I love the duet Girl from the North Country, the way Johnny's and Dylan's voice blend together is just amazing. People said the way they sing different lyrics or phrase the same words differently while singing together bothers them but I actually absolutely love that. I love the songs Peggy day and Country pie, they're upbeat and a little easier. Thing is Dylan's music is known to be complicated, for more ''educated listeners'' and this is sort of a new insight of Dylan's songwriting. Sure these songs may not be one of Dylan's best songs he's ever written but they are still great songs. Point is he is one of the greatest songwriters that ever lived, which the Nobel prize now also confirmed. I suppose the only thing I don't particulary like is that it's only 27 minutes long. I could listen to this music a hell of a lot longer then just 27 minutes. The record made at the height of hippie love, anti war movment, politics and social issues, Dylan wasn't out to send a message or lost in his own art, trying to be the voice of the generation. He wasn't concerned with popularity or fame. He was in the midst of inspiration and clarity that the south has offered and that is what created this never before heard ''country rock'' style album. Why did he go to Nashville in the first place? I think the anwser to that question is Johnny Cash. God I wish I could see them talking about working together. And then actually work together. Man, had to be an amazing sight. Anyways, I enjoy this record more then anything else Dylan put out, give it a chance, take a listen, it's only 27 minutes of your life, and they can be 27 minutes of pure magic.

Good morning soldier.

Well England...I didn't see that one coming. Does that mean James Bond is going to need a visa now to do missions in Europe? Hah. On a serious note I can't say I think this was a good idea...for anyone, either Europe or England. I feel like Britain tanked Europe let's just look at the stock markets for a second...and older generations of Britains just sealed the deal on the future of the young generations...a future they don't want and will be forced to live in...I'm sorry about that guys. I know what's it like when older generations dictate you how to live. But I suppose time will tell. And what if Scotland and Ireland decide to leave? Then it's basically just ''Kingdom'' no more United Kingdom...Messed up situation to be honest.

So...I wanted summer and now I finally have it. Not the type of summer I'm used of though. I'm used of heat but not humidity. Maybe a little bit but at the moment I feel like I'm in a rain forrest. I hate this. I love summer, I love the heat but I don't love thick air that makes it hard to breathe. But I shouldn't complain to be honest, I've been cold for far too long.

And the GN'R tour started yesterday and if you think I wasn't already sobbing over the youtube videos online this morning you are highly mistaking. Oh my god my excitment is over the roof. I don't know why since Steve and Izz are still missing and there is no sign of an European tour *I know I know patience* but I'm just....freaking out over Ax and Slash. Together. On the same stage. Even smiling at eachother. It's just...perfect. One of my favorite bands back together after so many years. I couldn't be happier. Aparently there was a moment last night during Estranged instead of ''How could you say that I never needed you'' Ax sang ''How could I have said that I never needed you'' while touching Slash's shoulder which trust me is enough to get me in tears. It's not even selfish the thing about this reunion that makes me happiest is the fact that they made up and are friends again. That's the most important thing to me in the end. I only need Steve and Izz and I might as well live in a fairytale too good to be true. Guys. Make it happen. Please. It's not GN'R without them. Not really. Other then that I hear that the concert was amazing. I'm way way WAY too jealous of everyone who was there last night. As I will be of everyone that is yet to see them. Gonna be a long list till the tour ends. Heh.

Not going to rant forever today. Got an event to get ready for. Event with a lot of meat and stupid music. The fuck is wrong with me huh? Bin ich in der falsches film oder was? I probably got lost along the way to be stuck in a place like that. What's gotta be done right? What I will tell you though is how amazing it is when I put all the shit aside and just focus on me, on what I love and let creativity run. I did some drawing and painting and it felt amazing. Shutting off the world letting my vinyls play and just paint. No outside world. It makes my family nervous when I sit still and paint for hours but I'm not bothered. It's something I love doing. Even if my back is killing me after I'm done with a project. I understand tattoo artists so much on days like these. *sigh* either way...for the past two days or should I say nights because I couldn't sleep I focused on painting on shirts. I have tons of shirts with no print on them and paint. Bad combination. Shit happens. Haha. So this is what I've been up to...

Marvel geek whatcha gonna do. The Winter Soldier design is based off a poster a friend of mine owns. So the original idea credit goes to the artist. I only modified it a bit. The last one isn't done yet but it's gonna be a ''salt and burn'' type thing. Supernatural fan. I'm a geek for too many things it would seem. I use standard textile paint and Dynasty paint brushes. Expensive as fuck but well worth their money. So kiddos that's it for today, I'll see you on monday, stay safe or should I say stay in the shade and enjoy your weekend.

This Valentines day the only man with a bow and arrow I wanna see is Daryl Dixon.

How about some stupid pickup lines then?

''Would you like to Slytherin to bed with me?''

''You don't need a spoonfull of sugar to make me go down''

''I'd periodically do you on a table''

''Did you buy those jeans on a sale, because they would be 100% off at my place''

''I Dumbledore you''

''Do you mind if I explore your chamber of secrets?''

''I love you more then Kanye loves Kanye''

I'm not going to rant about my burning passionate hate towards Valentine's day this year, though I still believe it's a fool's holiday, designed to take peoples money and make guilty husbands feel less guilty. But what I am going to rant about is this stupid thing going around facebook lately. I've seen it once too many times and it's really really REALLY starting to get on my nerves. It reads something along the lines of ''Romeo died for love, Valentines died for love, Jack in Titanic, Hercules, Achilles, Samson, Jesus...'' blah blah blah and then it says men should ask their partner to name at least five women that died for love or they have the rights to boycott Valentines day. Now don't get me wrong boycotting this bullshit would make me happiest but this...this is pissing me off. How dare you compose a message that is framed to look like the women are to blame. Nobody asked them to do what they did. We all know those god damn doors in Titanic would hold two people. I've watched the Mythbusters alright. And not to mention Romeo, if he would of waited just a little longer, she'd wake up and nobody would have to die. Though they are fictional but I'm sure men are capable of the same stupidity in real life. Actually all of them are fictional...Romeo, Valentines, Jack, Hercules, Achilles, Jesus. These are all fictional. While on the other hand you have real women. Like Lady Diana, would she really die in that accident if she didn't try to run away with the man she really loved? How about Mother Theressa? And Florence Nightingale, Helen Keller maybe or Elizabeth Fry? Have you ever really looked at a woman's love? How much shit women actually take and still stick around because they love their men more then they deserve. So many of my friends in relationships let their men abuse them, act like they don't matter, take them for granted, act careless and selfish never appreciating what they've got and they still stick aroung and take it because they love them and believe they can change or do better. Be better. But it never really happens. Now I'm not saying all men are the same of course they aren't, if you've got a man that loves you, respects you, treats you right and remembers you on other days of the year as well then you are lucky. If you've got a relationship like Kate and Leopold or Julie and R or Ricki and Greg or even Bella and Edward then hold on to it because it just might be perfect. Understand that a man or a woman that loves you for who you really are, all the flaws and mistakes combined is priceless. If they stick with you when you're at your worst or when you fall down and they help you back up they are priceless. And that is something that should be appreciated, aknowleged and loved everyday not just on february 14th.

Oh P.S. just so you know though these are not bitter single life observations, my man and I the geeks that we are, are going on a movie date this Valentines day, to see this guy, with a lap worth sitting on aparently. Hah.

Y'all enjoy your weekend and Valentines day. Or ignore it. Whatever floats your boat. Just remember, don't be down if you're alone, the right person for you will come along sooner or later. Untill then nothing beats the Walking dead, some Nutella and a bottle of Vodka, which by the way are also my after date plans. Thank god the premiere is on late here. Hah.

Take care y'all.

One last thing, check out Kip's new video. I know it's not even close to what I usually listen to but I love Kip and it's such a nice song and such a beautiful video. No I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating. Seriously. It's perfect, check it out.

I know it's hard to keep an open heart, when even friends seem out to harm you.

So I'm guessing you all heard about the big Guns n' Roses reunion by now? I got to admit first time they started talking about it I was like ''yeah right when pigs fly''. Then it got serious. Well I'm still in shock. But a good shock. Happy one. Slash and Duff are finally back where they belong. Welcome home boys. Doesn't mean I won't miss Izzy and Steven though, it's not really a proper ''reunion'' if all the band members aren't there now is it? Suppose I should be happy with what I've got huh? I'm probably way too excited. They confirmed a festival I could never go to, nobody said there's gonna be a tour. Much less an European tour but I'm overly excited. Because just think, they'll be back on stage for the first time since 1993. And if that aint amazing then I don't know what is. You know what's funny? November rain came out around the same time I was born. My mom would play it for me all the time. I think they're the first memory of music I have. November rain. The music video. Do you guys have a song or a band or a singer that you'd remember as your first music memory? Mine are definatelly Guns, Skid Row, Bruce Springsteen, Poison, Warrant, Motley crue, Motorhead, Led Zeppelin, Metallica. The bands my parents listened to, the music I grew up with. Never really thought I'd learn to love it as much as I do. Truth to be told there were times when dad's really loud ''noise'' was getting on my nerves. I learned now so many years later that I'm gratefull for the ''noise'' and the bands I was brought up to love. They taught me more about life, love, people, this world then any school, experience or anyone, anything ever could. I'm grateful for growing up like this, in a musical world. I'd be so lost without it. What else is there to say? Welcome back guys, I'm so happy this is finally happening, you've kept us waiting for far too long. I wish you all the best with your future plans. Maybe a tour as well. That one is a bit selfish I admit. Hah.

Either way I should head to bed, I've seen one too many The Walking Dead episodes today. At a point where Netflix asks if you're alright. Heh. No Netflix I am obviously not alright. I'm on a binge. I better not even say out loud how fast I got through all five seasons. It's probably unhealthy. So yes headed to bed, but before I do, here's my first pencil work in 2016. Robert Downey Jr. Started as a portrait of Iron man, the request was actually to make his eyes red and gold but well that didn't happen and I'm glad it didn't. Looks so much better like this.

Stay safe out there guys and take care of one another.