“There is no ideal world for you to wait around for. The world is always just what it is now, and it's up to you how you respond to it.”

How is today another Monday? Are we still doing Mondays? I mean is that still a thing? And also why? What a dumb idea tbh. Had a nice chat today with the mail man, he (again) complimented my makeup that I pretty much only put on for him these days. Have I seriously came to a point where getting mail is an ''event''? Looks like it. I feel like a zoo animal when the mail comes, like the zoo keeper just put a new toy in my enclosure. Fun times. I need to start putting high heels on when I pick up mail too, because you know, they make everything an event. Maybe a feathery boa. Or that perfect little black dress. Hm. Last week I shocked the poor delivery guy with a silky black see through robe with furry sleeve ends and collar. There he is bringing some Harley parts trying not to stare at my tits while I lean on the door, cat in one hand, a glass of red wine in the other. I think shocking the mailman might be my favourite (and only) fun pass time activity these days. What is that new song Robbie Williams sings?

''Oh these are strange days, in many strange ways, science fiction I believe, has become reality.''

Yeah something like that Robbie. Something like that. 

In other news, have you guys seen the new photoshoot Keanu Reeves did for Esquire magazine? Oh my god you guys, I'm not okay. That man is like a fine whiskey, the older the better. I died a little bit not going to lie. Holy hell. There's a pretty good long article that goes with the photos too (like he wanna join the MCU? Are you serious?! Do you really want me to die?). Not that I read the entire thing yet. The pictures are far too distracting. He's the only one I'd marry in a heartbeat no questions asked all he'd have to do is say the words. Ke if you're reading, I'm still waiting ;) 

Now before this spins out of control again, my insane ramblings…I'm here for the book review I promised and I'm so excited because this book is what one of my favourite movies is based upon and while I saw the movie at least 30 times by now I never read the book before. Gasp. I know, I know don't say it. But really, I didn't read it beacuse getting stuff in this country is impossible. I wonder everyday how is it possible that we have color tv. But since by some miracle I finally got my hands on my very own copy I jumped at it and finished it in a day. Obviously. 

( Warm Bodies / Isaac Marion / Zombie Romance / Supernatural themes / slight violence)

Okay y'all know  that the Italian in me is strong. The love for everything Italian and Italy itself is undying and I'm clearly a hopless romantic though it does not look like it in my ''tough'' outer appearance. Trust me though, I absolutely melt at cheesy, stupidly romantic things, except V-day, that one I still despise. So obviously I prefer romantic books, but like with a twist, either supernatural romance or impossible romance with a happy end. The usual wnb erotica and simmilar crap that women seem to fawn over (cough 50 shades cough) makes me physically ill. Not because of sex, everyone loves a good NSFW part of a book but the writing is just so bad it makes me want to roll my eyes all the way into my skull and not in a good way *wink wink*. Pick up a damn Hemingway novel like Farewell to arms and learn what a true love story really is. Spoiler alert 50 shades is not love but rather 50 shades of abuse. 

Back to Warm bodies. I fucking adore this story. Not because it's got everything I love, supernatural elements and romance but because it depicts such a great picture of humanity. Not the ugly side that we all see now in a wnb apocalipse where people fight in stores over toilet paper. Sigh. Speaking of, anyone got an idea yet about why the fuck people hoard toilet paper? If you do, please leave me a comment below, I'm dying to know. But no, the picture of humanity this story shows is that humans are in fact born out of love and can also be reborn out of it too. Kindness, courage, empathy and love are the only way to heal a sick society because it's the only thing that makes us human, the only thing that separates us from beasts. 

Straight from the start this book is not at all what I expected. It's nothing like the movie at all. In most cases books and movies are nothing alike sure, but these two are really different.  Things that happen in the book don't happen in the movie at all and vice versa. What matters though is that they both have a happy ending, if the book per say would be different and tragic, I'd set this whole world on fire. No joke. 

I love Isaacs (I keep want to write Oscar, shows you just where my mind is, with a sexy latino) smooth writing. From the point of view of ''R'' the zombie he starts the book with '' I am dead , but it's not so bad. I've learned to live with it''.  Just a short straight to the point couple of lines that explain what it's like to be a zombie. To live in an eternal state of apathy, not really alive but not dead either, just existing. This also shows you why I keep saying we are currently in a zombie apocalypse. We're not really alive, we're just breathing, waiting, passive. Not really alive. 

R doesn't remember his name no more, rarely someone does, but he talks about his life in a cronological order, articulate and thoughtful. I mean I haven't met a zombie yet but this level of selfawareness would surprise me. So it's not really shocking that we learn along the way that R is different and that little bright light of hope. Hope for humanity. But that little light still needs a spark to shine bright. And of course since this is essentially a love story, where oh where can we find that spark? In a girl. Julie. Think of her as the first splash of color in a permanently gray world. I love how their names are R and Julie. You know Romeo and Juliet. Cue in Dire Straits playing in my head. I love that song. Also R's friend ''M''? A homage to Mercutio perhaps? There's a cheesy balcony scene as well to make things even more perfect. 

What I love so much is the progress of the story, each page you turn, the more human R becomes. He grows and glows with Julie's presence. Literally he grows with love and isn't that what's it supposed to be like? Love making us the best version of ourselves? Making us grow? The romantic in me wants to believe that's what it should be like. I still want to believe in love and magic despite the fact that the world keeps proving me I'm delusional. It's not a typical love story mind you, emotions are not as strong on every page as you'd imagine in a regular love story but it's more than obvious that love is the driving force and love is what makes it all worth while in the end. 

In theory this book is the most unique work of fiction I've read in a while. The whole post apocalypse survival isn't that odd of course but the first person narrative being a zombie is a first for me. Never mind a philosopher zombie, questioning all those why are we here, and life purpose kinda questions. And though he has all these questions, and though he can't use enough words to actually voice his thoughts, there is nobody around that would actually care. I felt that. More often than not I feel the same way, like people just don't care about what I have to say, or what I'm thinking, or what I'm feeling. Another thing I can relate to is the fact that R hoards little artifacts he picks up on his trips to the city. Mostly vinyl though. Now tell me that aint me lol. What I think though that while I hoard little things, things that remind me of good memories, some bad too (aren't I sadistic) I think R does it to keep him close to whatever little piece of humanity is left in him. 

The ''love'' story actually starts off pretty grusome, with R eating Perry's brains, Perry who just so happens to be Julie's boyfriend. I don't know if this is a general zombie thing but they say in this book that zombies eat brains because they see human memories, they're the only thing making them feel alive. It makes sense don't you think? Though I also honestly thing that with half of this worlds population zombies would starve but let's leave that aside for now. Imagine that learning about a girl from eating her boyfriends brain. I mean I heard of some pretty unusual dating techniques but this one might take the spot for the strangest lol. So from seeing Julie and from learning about her this way R decides she's not food but to be protected ''keep you safe''. Cute. 

While R feels guilty about killing Perry we learn from the book that everything is not what it looks like when it comes to Perry, who keeps on living through R and his memories. So from here on Julie and R walk on this path together, trying to discover what Julie stirred in R, why is he changing, and if these changes in him could be transferred to other zombies as well. I keep telling you guys, only love will heal the world. Nothing else. Love is the cure. But of course when were things ever as easy? Never. Of course the odds are stacked against them and of course everything that could go wrong essentially will also go wrong. Including with the meddling of Julie's crazy father. There's always gotta be a crazy someone ruining a love story huh? Humans really do destroy everything beautiful. 

I'm not going to go into the details of the entire ''crazy'' that happens to R and Julie along the way because then I might as well write down the entire book. But what I will tell you is things I learned from R. 

- Humans are absolutely scarier than zombies. Worst kind of animals that will destroy everything good left in the world. 

- It's most definately not our words but our actions that speak about who we are. Words are just words. Mostly overrated anyways.

- A name is just a bunch of letters, put together they form a word, pulled apart they're nothing. A name is a name, it's meaningless in the bigger picture because people usually don't remember you by your name but by what makes you you. Your actions, your beliefs, your identity. 

- Sometimes life goes up, sometimes life goes down, like an elevator. And sometimes the power goes out and you're stuck. 

- Sometimes having a brain makes a huge difference. Unless of course you ate your last piece then you're fucked. 

- Humans absolutely need that connection. Love is what jump starts R's heart and starts the healing process. We all need that someone that understands us and loves us like we deserve to be loved.

- Never underestimate the power of the perfect song that can say so much more than words ever could.

- And most important, never judge a book by it's cover. Sure, R is a zombie but that doesn't mean he'll rip your head off at the first chance he gets. People are rarely what you imagine and expect, why should zombies be any different? 

Maybe this book hits different in current times. Maybe we're all living in a zombie apocalypse only our zombies are alive, the dead part is only the humane part in us. Maybe we let it get this far by letting ourselves be controled and governed by things that never should play a part in our lives in the first place. Maybe that's why we're no longer human, just chasing things we'll never get, things that essentially don't even exist. 

Actually I picked up this book (well movie first but you get the point) looking for a little break of the typical vampire – human romance but what I found was a different kind of love. Love for a story that seems superficial but it's really deep with it's offering of a view on life. How if could be. How it is. And things that matter most, all those beautiful fragile things that we should fight to the death to preserve. All those little things that make us human, things that essentially make life worth living. They seem far and few but honestly, they keep us going. 

I'd absolutely recommend this book to everyone who's into a little romance and a little gore. And those who aren't, well get on with the program. Lol. 

P.S. Here's a little bonus, the tiny doodle from the picture above, it's actually my favourite scene from the movie, it happens a little bit differently in the book but still. And while we're on the topic of the movie, just how dare you…how dare you make the zombie that attractive? Wtf. 

Siamo fuori di testa, ma diversi da loro.

Good evening Europe, how are we feeling today? So now when it's obvious that Saturday night wasn't just a fever dream, oh my god, can you hear me scream? I haven't been as happy with the results of the Eurovision song contest since Lordi won in 2006. Yes as a true ''Euro trash'' person as my friends like to call me due to my language switching back and forth from several languages I watch Eurovision every year and every year I'm upset over the pathetic, boring, whiny winner, and also with what crap we always send to compete but that's a story for another day when I decide if our jury who picks a winner is deaf, blind or just plain stupid. Maybe all of the above tbh.

Here's the deal, I don't get Europeans who don't watch this show, I have said several times their EU membership should be revoked, I guess they're music haters or just plain boring, maybe they just don't know how to have a little fun. The glam, the glitter, the vibe, the scenes, the sets, the lights, the music (some of it anyways) and Graham Norton's comments alone are worth it. My friends and I used to go full Elton John, sparkly dresses, sparkly makeup, feathery boas, sky high heels and an endless ammount of rose, just to sit on the couch and watch the show. Make a full freakin party out of it. Of course usually the drinking at the end was to drown the sorrows but this time it was actually in celebration. Champagne all the way baby because oh my oh my how the tables have turned this year.

Of course the entire show isn't what it used to be, before we get too political or talk about how jury handing out points is just a political move, countries giving points to their neighbors and some such shit (can I just say for once I am proud of my own country for giving Italy 12 fucking points fuck yeah! Finally out of the dumb stereotypes),  please someone explain to me what the fuck is Australia even doing on EUROvision song contest, also no hard feelings but seriously Australia what the fuck was that this year? And also Israel? With a song titled ''Set me free''? the fuck was that? a cruel joke? But BUT, you guys! The jury said Sweitzerland, a pathetic, whiny song, and the jury said France, what the fuck? fake wnb Edith Piaf making me wanna slit open my wirsts. And then THEN you guys the people have spoken and the people said fuck all of you we want Italy (took all the phones in my house and voted as many times as I could, I know I'll be dead when phone bills come in but fuck it lol). And there are no words no words to explain how happy this makes me. Lets face it, few things make me happy these days but this? This sure AF does. 

Not just because rock music won, lets face it we need more real rock n roll in our lives, we need more rock on all types of song contests, the type that's like whiskey, burns a little when you take it in ;) but also because this win is a new era. The band with their winning song is done with the boomers, it's time for the young now. The young have spoken, the young have voted. The LGBT+ have spoken and were also heard with this win and I am over the moon. Even if the offended boomers then when they had nothing left had to accuse the band of doing drugs in the middle of the event. Sure. In a full venue. They somehow smuggled in cocaine. And were doing in right when a huge fucking camera was pointed in their faces. Brilliant. So ballsy. Omg I am so fed up with these narrowminded people judging based on looks, based on some twisted idea of normality. Sick of hatred in general. Just like the song says ''you better shut up and be quiet'', only say it louder for the people in the back. 

For all y'all still not understanding how important this win is. The band came on not just with a loud rock song, ''saving'' rock n roll but with a message, they smashed stereotypes, they smashed the whole toxic masculinity (pay attention to the lead singers ink ''boys do cry''),they smashed the stereotype of love should only be between a man and a woman (cheers guys for all that boy on boy makeout sessions on stage, that got me hot and horny not going to lie lol), they are sending a message to love who ever the fuck you wanna love, fuck gender, fuck what people think, love is love. And they did this at a contest that has audiences all over the world, an estimated 200 million people watch ESC each year, in countries that still have anti LGBT+ laws, and countries that are just narrow minded, homophobic, or just plain hateful, countries that can't bare the idea of a man in makeup and high heels, or god forbid wearing clothes we can only see fit for a woman (women wear pants which are ''male'' clothes, why can't a man put on a skirt?), god forbid a man looking a bit too feminine. The music could be absolute shit and this alone would be enough for me to make them winners. Of course good music is just an added bonus but really this is amazing on so many levels, they are showing the younger generations the importance of accepting yourself for who you are, to love yourself and whoever else you wanna love, and ugly rumors being formed because of that, because they don't fit in your frame of ''normality'', or trying to minimise their win is pathetic and ugly and distasteful. 

For all y'all wanting to attack me ''his head was down he was snorting coke'' fuck you, it takes longer than 2 seconds to snort up a row of coke and fuck you because all he was doing was picking up a broken glass, and fuck you for hating them because they're different, and fuck you for hating them for standing up for gay and bi rights. 

Thank you Måneskin for being you, for brining the breath of fresh air and for standing up for what you believe in, I love it so much, and who knows maybe see you in Italy in 2022. That be great. And also btw just food for thought, Italy and their economy being as it is, step into the bands shoes and just imagine getting entire Europe so fucking horny you collapse your country's economy. If that aint the most badass and the most rock n roll thing you can possibly do then I just don't know what is. Lol. At the end of the day though why am I even getting worked up about this, people are stupid, they'll always be stupid and at the end of the day ''parla la gente purtroppo, parla non sad i che cazzo parla''. Now that I'm done with that, I apologise to all my non EU readers, us Europeans tend to be insufferable during ESC week. Just ask Tumblr users lol. Lucky though all my friends are just as crazy as I am, passionate actually not crazy, and we freak out for a week together. You should have seen us when we were actually AT the song contest. Lol. Craziness multiplied.

Now that I got all the happy and also angry out…can I touch a bit of sadness (why is my brain telling me ''can I play with madness'' instead lol)? You know it hasn't been that long since one of my best friends died, and then another, and then another. Like some sick deathrow, dropping one by one. I don't get it. I can't process it. I don't know how it's fair or right. I don't know how I'm supposed to unpack or even begin to unravel all these emotions. I don't understand how people just expect me to be ''normal'', to cope, to function, to be nice, to tolerate them, to smile and carry on, to work, to be productive. I just wanna scream. I just wanna break things. I don't get it. This world is broken. We all have our own struggles, and our own limits, I get that. But we don't all heal in the same time frame. Some need a year, some need ten, some never get fully better, just sorta functional. Why can't we understand that? Why can't we show if not compassion at least understanding?

It's been hard during this week because one of those friends was always watching Eurovision and being silly with me and if we weren't together we had skype running and watching ''together''. And I know he would just adore these Italian boys and lady, actually I'd send him the link as soon as they won San Remo and we'd probably fangirl for a month in advance. I mean missing someone doesn't really change. You always miss them but when something you used to do together crops up, something that really reminds you of them, then it just gets unbearable, maybe right now that much more because the wound is just too fresh. 

I don't know you guys, life is just hard, if you have any magical solutions as to how to make it easier, without calling Dr. Feelgood that is, I'll be here waiting, in the mean time enjoy this doodle of the pretty Italian ESC winners. Tbh that singer could spit in my mouth and I'd say ''si grazie papi'' just sayin.