Yeah you such a badass baby, you walk the wire and you play with fire.

Hey bro, take it slow you ain't livin' in a video, you're flying low with a high velocity. No doubt, you're stressin' out, that ain't what rock n' roll's about. Get off that one way trip down lonely street.

Now I know you've been kicked around you ain't alone in this ugly town. You stick a needle in your arm, you bite the dust, you buy the farm...

I had a really tough week. Really tough. A lot has been happening. I was all over the place, my emotions were all over the place. I felt like I'll go insane. Maybe partly I am. There's no other explanation. Either everyone around me is or I am. I know I know shut up. But you know what pulled me back together when things were really hard?

This song did...

It's excatly how I felt and it's excatly the kick in the ass I needed. Of course everything is going to be alright. Of course things get tough sometimes but that's no reason to give up. It's a reason to fight harder. I still believe that if you want something bad enough and you're willing to work for it you can have it someday. The sky is the fucking limit fuck everyone who tells you you can't do it.

I also came to another realization. I've been selling myself short all my fucking life. What for? I mean what the fuck is the matter with me? Isn't it enough that other people keep putting me down then I have to do it myself as well? Uh oh honey no more. It took me forever but I realized the only one who needs to believe in me is me. And I realized I should never settle or stay somewhere because I'm comfortable. I don't want to be comfortable. I want to live and experience things. Good ones, bad ones, it's all a part of life. And most important I realized is that I am enough. I deserve someone who will fight for me. I deserve someone who will love me as much as I love them, someone who will care, see all the good parts in me that I sometimes fail to see. I deserve respect and fuck I deserve to be somebody's first choice. I deserve someone who will not give up and walk out on me when things get hard. I know that. And I want that. I will not settle for anything less because why should I? Life is too short to spend it in lousy company or god forbid with someone who doesn't love you.

Another thing I also learned just recently that I want to share with you guys. If friends don't treat you right. Fuck them. There's plenty other people out there. You don't need to be around people that make you feel uncomfortable, that use you, that are never there for you. Don't miss them, you're not missing out. Life has better plans for you. I used to drive myself crazy over this but now thanks to my hero, Mr. Axl Rose I learned an important lesson. There's two types of people on this planet, those who like me and those who can kindly fuck off. He is absolutely right. Why the fuck should I stress myself? I rather focus my attention on people who are worth it.

Then there's another thing that's been driving me mad. There's this asshole giving me a speech how feminism is making him uncomfortable. Like bitch are you fucking kidding me? I couldn't care less if feminism is making you uncomfortable when men make me uncomfortable on a daily basis. Do you think I wear shorts to get cat calls, whistles, disgusting comments? No I wear them because it's fucking hot. Not for your viewing pleasure. Women are not sexual objects get that into your thick skulls will you? This has been driving me mad for such a long time. Why are we slut shaming women instead of teaching men how to respect them? The fuck is that about? You know what? Enough. I'll just get pissed off if I go here again. And I've been stressed enough lately. Don't need no more stress in my life.

When is life ever that easy? Of course it isn't. I thought about some stuff. How far we've fallen. This country I mean. Our future. Our economy, our jobs...I'm almost 24 and I have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life. I mean I have dreams, I have goals and I will fight for them but all that aside. I have no fucking idea what to do. Then it hit me. All I really want is to finish school, the sooner the better. The job I get might not be my dream job but I'll enjoy it anyways. This job pays enough to cover everything I might need, along with art, music, concerts, travel...my bills are never overdue, money is not a thought in my head. I am not stressing about it everyday. I have a place to live, so do my dogs or cats, or both. It's a nice, cosy place, decorated just the way I like it and it's mine. Maybe I have some plants and neighbors I actually like.My bookshelves are always full so are my record cabinets. I have some time to read, draw, paint, photograph, enjoy music at the end of the day. I meet up with friends over the weekends, we take time off, we travel, we see concerts together. We've got time and money to do it. They love me, I love them, there's no backstabbing, no using, no lies, no bullshit. Just love. There's no violence in the world, no wars, no hate. Just love. I can travel wherever I want, without worrying something might happen. I see new places, meet new people, experience new culture. I learn and grow. I am independent, content and above all I am free.

This is all I want from life. All I'd ever want from life. And it's so fucked up that the basic things every human being deserves are things we end up dreaming about because they seem so far out of reach. It's crazy isn't it?

Well let's finish this on a high note. Here's a little piece I did this past week. The one and only King of Rock n Roll, Elvis Presley. I love him, he's brilliant, he's the King. Nobody will ever be like him or even up to his ankles. And don't you dare fight me on this. You will loose.

Enjoy your weekend guys. I know I will. NOT. Spring cleaning and studying. Not sure which one makes me want to put a bullet in my skull more. *sigh*...If you're out there partying, drinking, having fun...do it for me as well, please. Stay safe, take care of one another. See y'all on monday!

C'mon girl, it's a better day get your foot out of that grave, don't let that one love tear your world apart... C'mon babe, kick that stuff show the street it ain't so tough, quit lyin' around with a crippled, broken heart.

Now I know you've been seeing red don't put a pistol to your head, sometimes your answer's heaven sent, your way is so damn permanent.