Say I got trouble, trouble in my eyes. I'm just looking for another good time.

I carry my crucifix under my deathlist. Forward my mail to me in hell. Liars and the martyrs. Lost faith in the Father. Long lost is the wishing well. Wild side. Fallen Angels. So fast to kill. Thy kingdom come on the wild side. Our father who ain't in heaven. Be thy name on the wild side. Holy Mary. Mother may I. Pray for us on the wild side.

There's a lot of thoughts in my head right now. Some worth sharing and some...well let's just say it's a good thing none of y'all can read minds. Hah. I want to talk about inspiration for a bit. What inspires you? Is it art? Poetry? Music? Paintings? Photography? People? Love? Laughter? There's so many things that inspire me. Sometimes I'd sit in front of a blank piece of paper not knowing what to do with myself and sometimes I couldn't stop my hands from drawing like crazy or clicking that camera button. I never believed in huge fancy digital cameras by the way. Sure it's nice to have it, sure the photo quality is beyond amazing but it doesn't matter, DSLR, pocket camera or even a cellphone, what matters is that you capture the moment because once it's gone, it's gone forever. I find inspiration in blogs, tumblr, pintrest, people across the world are so talented, they do such creative, crazy amazing things I find myself going through them for hours. I find inspiration in good books. Those books that just suck you in and you can't put them down till you've come to the end of it, because it's so good, that you're so lost in it and it feels almost as if the world around you has melted away. I get inspired by risk, people who are brave to jump in not knowing how things will end but they don't care, they want something bad enough and they just go for it. Courage inspires me. I get inspired by my favorite photographers, they can capture a moment so perfectly that I just stop and stare at a picture for a really long time, studying the light, the shadows, every little detail, every part of it, it's all put together so perfectly. I get inspired by dogs. They are always happy, positive, willing to trust people. Dogs understand life and see beauty and happiness in the smallest things. I find inspiration in traveling, discovering a new city, culture, people, food, vibes, it's amazing. I find inspiration in love, the stronger the better. Nothing is more inspiring then a couple that's been through a storm but they still keep on going because on the end of the day love is stronger then anything. I get inspired by Claude Monet every stroke of his brush, every color, every picture that he painted, they are absolutely beautiful. I get inspired by Salvador Dali, his eccentricity, his general behavior like he doesn't give a flying fuck about what other people think of him and his art, everything that seems to be a random mess of things yet so carefully put together to paint a completly different picture if only you look at it from the right angle. I am inspired by The Bang Bang Club and their work it's nothing short of amazing. I'm inspired by movies, tv shows, special effects done in those movies, when things that aren't real, come to life and seem completly realistic. I'm inspired by amazing makeup artists, that turn people into Orcs, zombies, dragons, vampires, warewolves...I'm inspired by life itself, human body is so amazing, every single cell has it's function and ability to repair itself, grow, function. I'm inspired by the ocean, how over 90% of it remains undiscovered. *Yet people still tell me god is real and mermaids aren't? Fuck this shit.* I'm inspired by space. Think about it, we live on a rock, circling around a huge fire ball and we have no clue what is beyond our own galaxy, if there are others, if we're alone or not. It's pretty damn amazing. I'm inspired by NASA, the work they do, the discoveries they make. If I was smarter, or just better at math, physics, chemistry, I'd want to work there someday. I get inspired by a smile, of people I like, the little light in their eyes when they smile, it's amazing. I get inspired by someone who battles a sickness, depression, abuse, whatever else, and they want to give up but keep going instead. I get inspired by motorcycles. Funny I know but I do, nothing like the sound of a Harley, the gliding on the street, when it and the road are one, nothing like the wind on your face and the freedom you feel.

And biggest most important inspiration. Music. Nothing makes me as happy, calm, collected, free, inspired, loved, strong as my music does. Nothing taught me as much as music did. Nothing makes me happier then bands do. Nothing beats the excitment of a new record, of a concert, the rush you feel when you're in the same room with them screaming the lyrics on the top of your lungs with thousands of people that are just the same, that feel the same...that moment in the song when the singer stops singing and lets the crowd do it instead and the smile on their face when the crowd is so loud to drown out the music itself. I learned that the more I know about people the more people I meet the less I like them. I prefer sitting in my room, listening to a good record then go out and be around...humans. They're horrible I swear. They judge, act superior, force their opinions down on you, tell you what you should do, what you should wear, who you should be. It's madness, what I do, who I love, who I hate, what I like, what I am is my own business not anyone elses. Just because you're ''invited'' in my life doesn't give you the right to judge, slander, change the way I live. If you don't like it there's always the door, you're free to walk out. But don't you dare telling me what I like, love, hate, feel, is wrong because we are nothing alike and thank god because I don't want to be like any of you. I am me, not perfect, but I am happy with the person I am. All the flaws combined. I'm hot headed and temparamental and sometimes my mouth runs faster then my brain but that is not an indication of who I am as a person. Not an indication of my character and certainly not my personality. Keep in mind my attitude is based off how you treat me not off of who I am. But god I'm off topic now. Music. I was talking about music. Turns out I've been having a harder time coping with one of my favorite bands breaking up then I thought. I can hear my mothers voice in my head right now saying ''stop with the drama, they are not dead'' well yes THEY are not dead but the band is dead and that's just as bad. It's no secret that Dr. Feelgood is one of my favorite records of all times. A record you put in and just listen from start to finish, every chord, note, voice on it is just perfect. And I love it way too much. It's probably unhealthy how much. Hah. I've heard all the songs on it about a million times but if I need something to make me feel better well that record is the anwser ''She goes down'' always makes me chuckle as well as ''Rattlesnake shake'' which for some bizarre reason makes me think of Axl Rose and his serpentine dance. Point is it's been less then 4 days and I'm a sobbing mess thinking of them. I miss them. I miss that I won't ever see them again...All good things come to an end I suppose. I do wish them all the happiness in the world, lord knows there's nobody who I'd want to be happier then them. If nothing else we always have the music and I'm super excited about the guys solo projects. Specially the new Sixx:AM I know it's gonna be badass. In the mean time words of advice only real Crue heads will understand ''be the knife''. Seriously fuck everyone who upsets you, brings you down, says you can't do something. Fuck all of them. They don't matter. If you set your mind to something and you want it bad enough. It'll happen. You just got to be willing to work and fight for it. So in the words of a very smart man ''be the fucking knife''. My hero. My biggest inspiration.

R.I.P. Motley Crue 1981 - 2015