I don't have anything since I don't have you.

I don't have plans and schemes and I don't have hopes and dreams. I, I, I don't have anything, since I don't have you.

And I don't have fond desires and I don't have happy hours, I don't have anything since I don't have you.

God I need a fucking drink. It's not even ten in the morning but I swear I need a fucking drink. The stronger the better. I've been without my laptop since saturday. Meaning a whole damn week and I am about to start tearing my hair out. Obviously it's true that you appreciate things once you loose them. I didn't loose it though, the battery inside died. A battery I didn't know it had or needed. But the timing is probably the worse possible timing for me. I have so much work that has to be done and all the files for it on my laptop. Which brings us back to another reason why I'm a fucking idiot or a fail if you will. I have two external hard drives full of rockstars, tv shows, concert photography but it has never once occured to me to actually save shit I might need on it. Well a proper genius don't you think. I seem to enjoy complicating my life more then it has to be. God I can just hear my grandmother in my head just now ''I told you so''. Well yes, she did tell me so but what's the point? I need to learn on my own mistakes. Like having no laptop and then spending a week on high levels of caffeine so I can stay awake all days and nights and get through the work that has to be done. Not kidding. This is literally what will happen. Dear god in heaven. Alright suck it up. Last year of this studying bullshit. That's the only thing bringing me comfort to be fair. Thinking how awesome it would feel when I walk out of that damn school and never look back. I'll drink to that. Hah. Using a HP Pavilion for the time being. Windows 10. Though I am missing my Howard *yes my laptop has a name, what, yours doesn't?* like crazy, I'm starting to like this one. And the battery life? Are you kidding me it's amazing. Cute story I did in fact wanted a Pavilion but at the time I got mine they were so expensive I could never afford it. And though I wish I could crawl up into a hole and sleep and just never get out *or until Howard is back* I've decided to go out tomorrow night. It's getting pathetic spending weekends with junk food on the sofa watching endless ammounts of Supernatural or The Walking dead. It's time for the movies again, this movie is finally playing here as well...

Please, like I need to choose. Hah. Those of you who know me a bit better, know I have a silly little crush on Mark Wahlberg. I know. I know. Another one. But hey at least this one is an actor. Though the reason I fell for him was his role in ''Rockstar''...alright I better zip it up. Hah. There's no hope for me I know. But come on he's half naked the entire trailer, drives a bike, look at those damn arms. Jesus christ. I don't have self control of a saint. I might get overly excited for this movie to be honest. Heh. It's gonna be ''In the heart of the sea'' all over again. I feel bad for the poor sucker going with me. Unless I take Matt. He's just the same, fawning all over Mark's muscly body. Explains why we're friends doesn't it? Heh. It's the same story each time we watch tv shows together, Dean Winchester, Daryl Dixon, Damon Salvatore, probably half of the male cast in The Originals, we're all over them annoying everyone else with comments that should probably be censored. Not that it matters, we're at a point when we just look at eachother and start giggling because we know excatly what the other is thinking. People tend to find it creepy sometimes.

Oh! I got The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire the other day. LOVED IT. It's so cool having not just online videos but also a book. What if youtube *god forbid* crashes at some point and all the videos get deleted? Dear god. What a thought. But anyways if you're a fan of Dan and Phil or ''Phan'' hah...then you should get the book because it's really cool.

Which brings us to another thing, not book related, but I just remembered something. Wouldn't it be cool if you could just decide your new year starts February? And January was like a free trial month after which I decide that I don't like the product and give it back. Or unsubscribe if you will. 2016 only just started and it's been hell so far. I don't think any of us can make it till Ddecember if the entire year is going to look like this. I barely recovered *who am I kidding I totally didn't* from Lemmy, to have Bowie and Frey taken too and now Paul Kantner. Like alright I get it none of the musicians I love are young except a few exceptions but I honestly can't live like this fearing to look at my notifications each morning hoping all my guys survived through the night. What if next time it's Ozzy? Keith? Mick? Nikki? Jon? God my heart wouldn't be able to handle that. I know nobody lives forever but holy fuck just the thought of that...it makes me fucking sick.

Wow okay this post went into a dark direction I didn't plan it to go to. How about I share some art with you instead? Have a drawing of the only real love of my life, my savior, hero, inspiraion. It sounds cheesy I know but I love this man so much and nobody makes me feel better, stronger, more determined or focused then he does. So it is what it is. Spent all night working on this drawing after I gave up sleeping. God damn insomnia. I swear this stress is going to be the death of me someday. Also enjoy this sunset and early morning barbed wire *how barbaric?* snaps. I hope y'all have a pleasant weekend. Y'all in Australia it's over 5pm right now right? Go get a drink, one for me too, lord knows I really need it. But I gotta wait till tonight. Still too early here. Heh.

When you walked out on me in walked ol' misery and she's been here since then.

Yeah, we're fucked.

I don't have love to share and I don't have one who cares, I don't have anything since I don't have you.