Equality is a lie.

Today is not a good day, not phisically and not emotionally. I feel completly and absolutely drained. Might be the weather might be the fact that I feel as sick as a dog, might be that I am completly exhausted. I don't know. Everything feels wrong. Which is probably why I wasn't paying attention to what I'm doing all day, nearly crashed the car, it wasn't my fault but my reflexes were slow and let a blog post on that I never should…some of you read it and I'm sorry, it was highly unprofessional to let something unedited and most important private ''leak'' on the blog. I should probably keep away from anything and everyone on days like these, I am literally a disaster waiting to happen. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep. All day, all night, all week…I don't even have the energy for drawing which you all know is something I love to do most *sigh* I hate this feeling of hopelessness.

I suppose tired and mad and aggravated brings out the worst in me. The worst I should never even let out. Or at least keep it private. So let's try this again. If the previous post were my unedited thoughts, a small fraction of it at least, there's a god damn storm going on up here I swear…this one will be the way it should be.

Let me explain the matter calmly. I can't stand the bullying of women the church is doing in my country lately. I can't stand the bullying of women Donald Trump is doing. These so called ''children of god'' protesting in front of the hospitals…this is bullying, this is harrasment and it's down right wrong. No woman that decides for an abortion does that light hearted. No woman takes the desition lightly. And no woman does it for no reason. Whatever the reason may be, it's none of anyone's business, not her parents, not her siblings, not her friends, not some random strangers on the streets and definatelly not the churches. Abortion is not wrong, a woman that decides for one no matter what the reason might be is not a bad person. A bad person is the one telling her that. Nobody and I do mean nobody should have the right to mess with a woman's body. What I or any other woman do with our own bodies is our own problem. This sounds just about as stupid as the church or anyone for that matter putting out a law against tattoos, I don't like them so you shouldn't get any. Just as stupid. I am honestly a little disgusted and a little creeped out. I mean when I see a middle aged man protesting against abortion I'm creeped out, he basically thinks he has a right over your body. A man you've never met, never spoke to…it's creepy. Let me just point out here that a fetus does not have rights, it does not feel, it is not self aware. There is a thing called bodily autonomy which is the right to your own body, to decide anything and everything regarding your own body, which is why a person can not be forced to donate organs even after death. A fetus doesn't have this right but a woman does, so if she doesn't want a fetus using her body it can't. Taking this right away is basically giving a corpse more rights then to a woman. Thing is, this shouldn't even be up for a debate, women always had abortions and always will, the only thing that's in question now is will it be safe or will it be done ilegally endangering their lives as well? You can be against it, it's your own damn right to feel as you feel but you can't tell other people how to live, what to do or take away their right of choosing what's best for them.

Then there's another thing, not conected to prior but just as aggravating. Society's views of women. Society and privilege. The point of this post isn't to make anyone feel bad or lash out that what I'm saying isn't true or that I'm making stuff up, this is just me expressing my mind and my experience in this world I live in. Not earth, but the secluded area I call my world. Privilege isn't a problem, everyone has one. Hell even I do. I think. The problem is understanding that privilege and working together towards equality for everyone. I'm not saying you never had to struggle or work or god forbid that everything was handed to you, it simply means that some things were easier that there are things you will never experience. White people will never understand how black people live. How they are treated. Straight people will never understand the challenges of a LGBT community. Regular people will never understand the struggles of trans kids and men will never understand the female troubles. No I am not talking about periods.

I'm talking about things such as safety. Safety is a privilege most men take for granted. But of course, they don't have to walk in groups at the end of the night. Or cary self defense items such as pepper spray around. They don't worry about what to wear or where to go in order to be safe if they're out alone. Or cringe everytime a car passes them, worrying someone is going to yell something disgusting out of it or honk at you.

I'm talking about things such as ''beauty standards''…Why do men look good without makeup? Because society hasn't told them they look bad without it. I am not a fan of tv, magazines, internet and everyone else teaching young girls that skinny is beautiful, makeup is important…so on and so on. I don't like being asked if I am sick when I leave my house without makeup on. I don't like it when all magazines really do is tell women that in order to be beautiful they need to loose weight. All women are beautiful. Curvy, skinny, fat, white, black, tall, small. Every.woman.is.beautiful. The end.

I am talking about things such as employment, how is it fair that men and women don't have the same chances? How is it fair that in a world this evolved there are still so little women in leading positions? How is it fair that at the end of the day women are still payed less then men for the exact same job? How is it fair that women make less money but are expected to pay more for basically everything? This is a real problem, it's called the ''pink tax'' look it up.

I am talking about things as expectations. Why are women just supposed to become mothers at some point? Why does society just asume every woman has to have kids? Why a woman deciding on a career instead of family is such a weird thing? Why is a womans entire being questioned if she says she doesn't want children but a mans masculintiy never is?

I'm talking about things such as clothing. This one may be a little silly I agree but I really hate it when guys clothes have these inspirational sayings on them ''be your own hero'', ''think outside of the box'', ''be adventurous''…and girls clothes have ''pretty'', ''hi'', ''gorgeous''…I mean alright a girl likes to feel pretty that's true but it's a little silly. It's like expecting from women to just be beautiful and from men to have all the fun. Actually never mind that why should these shirts even be separated? Can't a girl be her own hero and a man feel beautiful too?

I am talking about things I deal with daily. Why is it that when a man gives his opinion he is bold and brave and when a woman does it she's a bitch? What for? Are they not doing the exact same thing? Fighting for what they believe in? So why does one opinion matter more? It doesn't even matter right now, wrong or right, every person is entitled to one and gender shouldn't make a difference.

I am talking about women's fear of saying no. A woman doesn't owe a man anything. Not a date, not sex not even a conversation. But women are afraid of saying no and that is a problem. When a man says no it means no, when a woman says no it's the begining of a negotiation and that is a problem. A problem when saying ''I have a boyfriend'' is the only thing stopping a man from making a move on a woman because they respect another man more then they respect a woman's lack of interest or just a plain no.

I am talking about the problem where men are supposed to apologize for being weak and women apologize for being strong. The problem where one tiny mistake makes it a stereotype. A woman can't park sideways? All women are bad drivers. A woman spends 20 more minutes in a store? All women are shopaholics…things like that.

I'm talking about things such as this…

''It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-11 store. So, you can sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America.'' — Violet Rose

In the situation we are in now there is no such thing as equality. But to be honest that goes both ways. Men that show emotions are instantly viewed as pussies. What for? There's nothing wrong with a man that can cry. Men are victims of domestic abuse as well. Men can get raped as well. Because a woman's word always or at least in most cases overpowers a man's when it comes to rape there are probably quite a few innocent men in prison right now and women should also be held responsible for false accusations. Men can like the color pink and do things women like and shouldn't be mocked for it.

And the same goes for bi, gay, trans, white, black or any other women and men. Until we are only pro life till the baby is black or gay and until such petty things divide us, can we really say we are equal? Gender, skin color, sexual orientation shouldn't even matter. What should matter is who you are as a person, your beliefs and your actions, those are who define you, that is what makes you you. There is no reason, not even one damn reason on this planet that would make one life matter more then the other. That would make one person more important then the other. We are all made the same and we should all have the same rights, the same opportunities. We all deserve the same chances, security, love, life, peace, laughter, happiness and above all choice. Whether is it ice cream flavor, abortion, question who to love, it doesn't matter the choice should be ours.

I suppose I've said about enough for the today don't you think? I'm going to crawl back to bed and feel sorry for myself, I really don't feel well. Take care guys, stay safe out there and to my fellow the Walking dead family. I wish you strenght this weekend, lord knows we'll need it. Which is also why I won't be around on Monday. The show premieres on Monday night over here and I am going to shut down all my electronics due to spoilers. Nobody is ruining that for me. Though I'm scared. And just between us, my money is on Glenn. Just because the producers said he's safe. I guess we'll see.