In a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet, boy meets girl and promises we can't forget.

Today I'm back to one of my favorite bands. I feel like I'm cheating on them when I'm so busy with all the rest. There's too many of my favorites really. And I really wanted to share something more private, a memory. But I realised I'm not ready for that yet. It means a lot to me and I wanted it written down somewhere while I still remember all the details but I'm not ready to share it with the world just yet. Someday.

I've seen a million concerts in my life. Literally. One of my mom's favorite dinner stories is about me being less then a year old and sleeping through an entire very loud rock concert. My parents dragged me to all kinds of shows since I was a kid. I remember being about 6 or 7 years old and helping a guitarist carry his gear. Or trying to at least. Then he let me sit on his guitar case and watch the show and even paid me for it. I fell in love with music really early, not that I ever had a chance not to, musicians daughter and all.

But I wouldn't have it any other way, music is my life and the most important thing in my life. There's been so many hardships in my life, so much pain, so much sorrow and to be quite honest I don't know if I could have gotten through it all without my bands. They give me that comfort nobody and nothing else can. And I know to some it's hard to understand, but really, I can't even explain it. You have to feel it to understand it.

Now Bon Jovi was the first really big important band I've seen. Biggest concert too and biggest stadium show. That was about 7 or 8 years ago I think. I already wrote a long ass report about his gig in Milan Italy, now a few words about Croatia, first time seeing him. It was something special alright and Richie Sambora was still with them then. I always loved Richie everyone knows that, sorry Phil, you're a great guy, great musician, I just don't like you in this band (personal opinion, do try and keep your hateful opinions to yourself this time okay?).

I was in Croatia for like a week then, booked a hotel and stayed there. Seen 30 seconds to Mars like 2 days after Bon Jovi too. Hah, one of the best weeks of my life. Back in the days when booking a hotel and buying several concert tickets wasn't a big deal. A lot has changed since.

You know I love Zagreb. It holds a few of my favorite museums, like the Broken relationships museum. That is so badass. Did you know it used to be the only such museum in the world till some American decided to copy the idea and he opened one in LA? Americans, always hogging ideas from someone.

I'm off topic now, I was so excited about this concert, all those posters and stickers all over town so my excitment came to a point that even a woman that was in this restaurant that I was at for lunch the day of the concert, completly freaking out mind you, remembered me about a year later when I came in again.

It was great, opening bands were great, people were great, experience was great. Though he didn't sing Always to me?! Really Jon? I was really upset. Imagine the hysterics in Milan when he did sing Always. I was a shaking sobbing mess. For those of you that don't know, I have a ton of favorite bands, top three being Simple plan, Guns n' Roses and Motley Crue, but my favorite song well two, they will always share number one, are Always and November rain, various reasons, and a story for another time.

I planned my outfit for months ahead that day you know. And I remember being frozen solid when security did a serious full body pat down before I got into the stadium, now I stand still in front of them with arms and legs spread without being told but that first time was something new and scary. Asking me if I have any weapons on me, lol, lady please, the only threath to the band is probably my obession, if I'd ever get the chance to hug one or all of the band members I'd never let them go.

Their crew stayed in my hotel, we shared a lift once and had a lovely chat about what my favorite place in the city is and fun fact, when checking into the hotel the first thing the receptionist asks me is ''are you here for Bon Jovi?'' lol, could I be any more obvious? Probably not. Fun fact when I said yes he was like ''fuck yeah, me too''. Haha.

Anyways back to the album then.

I take it we all know that this isn't the original cover right? This is their third studio album and it sold in about 28 000 000 copies. Now the original cover, I get a serious kick out of this one, what's so awful about an attractive woman with a tiny tear in her shirt showing her cleavage? Is that really such a crime? And if this is about the saying on her shirt, ''Slippery when wet'' well that's a matter of interpretation isn't it? If your mind is dirty and all because really, what isn't slippery when wet? What I find about the dumbest of all is that they released this album with this lamer cover art and it made them huge stars as we all know and how many women showed them their boobs then? At shows? In private?

Critics said that this album is a breakthrough not just for Bon Jovi but also for hair metal. Uhm…how about no? I'm having such a hard time with Bon Jovi being in the same hair metal basket as the rest of them. I mean so many people call Motley Crue hair metal (though let's be honest they are glam metal) and imagining Motley and Jovi in the same category that is just…jesus christ like peanut butter and glue sandwich.

But sure the album has a nice mix of pop, hard rock and metal that probably appealed a wider crowd. It's more mainstream I suppose. More girl friendly, I learned they mostly ignored the entire heavy metal scene. What the hell were they thinking huh? Nothing would make me happier then being this age I am now but in the 80's when all my bands were in their prime. No wait, let's think that through, that would probably end bad. I'd be a disgusting sleazy groupie. Ha ha. Moving on.

Slippery when wet didn't really try hiding their ambitions as in being a commercial album since they even went as far as hiring some third person (Desmond Child that worked on songs such as Heaven's on fire and I was made for loving you by Kiss, Save up all your tears by Cher, What it takes and Dude by Aerosmith, Alice Coopers Poison and again one of my personal favorites Ratt's Givin' yourself away, what an amazing career huh?) to help with song writing. Ironicaly that songwriter ended up working on two of their biggest songs Livin' on a prayer and You give love a bad name. Though that worked well in their favor given that this album wiped the floor with GN'R's Appetite (seriously what the fuck?) and also MJ's Bad and U2's Joshua tree. Cute story about Livin on a prayer, Jon Bon Jovi didn't like the original recordings, wanted to scrap the entire song but Richie convinced him that it was good enough. Can you imagine that? We came so close to not having their biggest ''anthem'' come on Jovi fans you feel me here right? We all know what the best moment and best song on a Bon Jovi concert is right?

I love this album, no matter if the Rolling stone wasn't the biggest fan when it first came out and if my family asks me what the fuck am I watching each time Social disease comes on. Hah. Even Rolling stone can't deny that this success is something every musician would give arms and legs and most likely kidneys too for.

Now the biggest hits aside, there's other songs on this record that are really great such as Raise your hands, critics called it a cliche ''nasty reputation, sticky situation,…'' go listen to some Bieber instead and let us enjoy what is clearly a total stadium anthem. Honestly if it doesn't make you sing and scream along and probably dance or headbang to live then nothing will. I love that song.

Social disease haha. It's amusing just like Rocket Queen by GN'R though I believe the back story on Bon Jovi albums is a bit more innocent then GN'R is. Ha ha. It's cheesy and the guitars squeel a bit too much but I like it anyways.

Never say goodbye? Uh yes please. Let me get my lighter or well cell phone since lighters are no longer allowed. I hate that by the way. A ''sky full of lighters'' is far nicer then a ''sky full of cell phones''. All biggest rock stars, toughest metal guys, all of them did love ballads in the 80's and I am so lame to actually love all these sappy stupid songs. Really honestly I do. Metal – rock ballads, they're my thing. And well who wouldn't love that one line about a girl losing more then just her keys in the backseat of Jon's car? And also which girl wouldn't want to be that girl? The girl he'd write all those sappy songs to?

Other songs on it are of course, Let it rock, You give love a band name and you do NOT want to be stuck in a car with me if this song comes on just saying. Wanted dead or alive which I usually turn down anyway, I know I know that's criminal, turning down Bon Jovi but really I don't like it, except that one rif by Mr. Sambora it's just meh. Without love (fuck yes), Wild in the streets and of course I'd die for you which is just oh my god, another song you don't want to be around me if it plays. My boyfriends band does that cover for me, purely because they love seeing me lose my mind to it, headbanging, air guitar, screaming along, hey I never said I'm a good singer did I? I just love music is all.

My family is so funny, I'd turn on this album, and they know full well it's one of my favorites and they'd be like ''no wonder she loves it it's full of references to teenage sex, sneaking around and drinking'' well…living that rock n roll lifestyle what can I say? Hah.

Sometimes I just love uncomplex music without the darkness but just easy rock with cheesy songs with lyrics about undying love (kill me I'm still a girl and a hopless romantic sometimes) and living in a world we live in now when love is so rare…well let's just say that if they really are considered metal then they're one of the few who made it big with teenage girls. I suppose their insanely good looks had a say in it too. Hah. I've been into Jon Bon Jovi for the longest time, I had a cat named Jovi you know? But that's besides the point everyone thinks I got the hots for Jon alone. Uhm no it's more like I've got 99 problems and they are all Richie Sambora, like I'm sorry but have you seen a 20 something Richie Sambora? I think I'd die for him to be honest.

We live in a hostile world where love is a miracle but listening to this album makes me feel love because I honest to god love love LOVE this band. So give it a try, put it on, play it loud because it really is an amazing album. Now all there's left to do is, Richie, for the love of everything holy please come back home where you belong. We all miss you.

Bonus;

Come with me out of the darkness.

''Now she found herself in the fast lane living day to day, turned her back on her best friends, and watched her family slip away.

Just like a lost soul caught up in the Hollywood scene all the parties and the limousines.

Such a good actress hiding all her pain trading her memories for fortune and fame, just a step away from the edge of a fall caught between heaven and hell, where's the girl I knew a year ago?

Win big mama's fallen angel, lose big living out her lies, wants it all mama's fallen angel, lose it all, rolling the dice of her life.

Too much too soon or just a little too late, cause when her ship came in she wasn't there and it just wouldn't wait...''

''There's a sadness all around us there are words we're too afraid to say. The things that I thought would last forever are changing every day. There's a hunger that can't be satisfied and the streets are filled with rage, it's time to dig deep inside ourselves and face the life we've made, it's gonna take the two of us I just can't do it all on my own...

I see the day gettin' brighter hold me a little bit tighter.

Out of the darkness and hand in hand baby together we will make our stand, reach out and touch me we can win somehow I know there's nothin' that can stop us now oh baby, come with me out of the darkness.''

Poison - Fallen Angel / Little Steven - Out of the darkness

No control

''If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you, I think I might give up everything, just ask me to. Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down, right now I'm completely defenseless. For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart, for when you're lonely and forget who you are. I'm missing half of me when we're apart, now you know me, for your eyes only.''

''How many nights does it take to count the stars? That's the time it would take to fix my heart. Oh, baby, I was there for you all I ever wanted was the truth. How many nights have you wished someone would stay? Lay awake only hoping they're okay? I never counted all of mine, if I tried, I know it would feel like infinity.''

One Direction - If I could fly / Infinity / aka my favorite go to karaoke band.

With or without you.

I'm lying on the bed listening to really cheesy pop music with the intention to write a post about an Irish rock band. I wonder how that will end up...it seems that life has changed so much this past year that even the music needed a change. Not a permanent one guys don't worry, it's just temporary, I need some background music to shut down my mind and whats better for that then some stupid pop? But then I always loved Michael Jackson and he's the King of pop so... Anyways after I spent the entire Sunday morning driving my neighbours wild with my favorite albums, such as Skid row, Dr. Feelgood, Cherry pie, Hysteria etc, today I'm more into easier rock...

And you know what's the funny part? I was never a fan, probably never will be, I like them as people, mad respect to Bono for all he does, but this album? This album is perfect, really, no other words for it. Took them five tries to get it right no? Hah, come on light up I'm joking. They're great musicians just not for everyone's taste.

So Joshua tree came out in 1987, clearly it's very influenced by politics and literature and of course their tour experiences, not to mention a couple of events that went down during the recording process. Such as the benefit concert in the Conspiracy of Hope for Amnesty International *no it's not a rock band, don't ask me again*, the death of their roadie Greg *listen to the song One tree hill* and of course their American travels, which can also be shown in the photography done for the album, them in the American deserts, huge open spaces...if only minds in America were as open as their landscapes are.

Joshua tree though received critical acclaim *A7X pun* but yet topped all the charts in over 20 countries world wide not to mention became the fastest selling album in British history. Isn't it ironic? Here I am writing about all these albums that reached crazy sales, topped the charts, so on and these days, ''musicians'' such as Justin Bieber *did I even spell that right? Got so used of calling him beaver* and Katy Perry and One direction do the same. How? I will never understand it. Though One direction I can live with some of their lyrics are alright, and one of them is really cute but the rest, Nicky Minaj? Lord have mercy.

Course Joshua tree is U2's best, giving us the hits such as With or without you, Still haven't found what I'm looking for, Where the streets have no name, aparently or so at least our radio stations seem to think that's all they ever wrote, well maybe sometimes they play Angel of harlem by mistake which by the way is also a great song. With or without you and Still haven't found were their number ones in America, the only two if I'm not mistaking and they also got a Grammy for Album of the year and Best rock preformance, back in the day when Grammy actually made sense, these days when Bieber and Minaj are nominated? Let's just not have the awards no more huh? I'm serious, and why is there no category for heavy metal? Or any other type of metal? Give a chance to the bands such as Iron maiden? I'm just saying.

You often see these ''best albums of all time'' lists, most by the Rolling stones magazine and though lately I got the feeling they don't know what the hell they're doing, who makes a list of 100 best guitarists and the ONLY woman on is is Joni Mitchell? Is that a joke? How about Nita and Orianti? I mean those ladies kick ass. And best drummers with no Lars Ulrich? Is that a joke or...? My point, this album is often on those best - greatest albums of all time list and here I gotta agree. It's one of the best selling records with over 25 million copies sold, currently being 10 times platinum and they just ''honored'' that with a re release and a tour, which I actually wanted to see but didn't get the chance, never mind the price alone, getting tickets was worse then fucking Hunger games.

I think what I admire most is the fact that Bono wrote all the lyrics himself. These days bands, musicians have up to 10 lyricists and their music still sucks, *cough you dirty hoe cough* Bono writes about America, their freedom, nature, ideals, the greed of Ronald Reagan administration. He saw the truth if you put it that way, the actual America and the myth the lie if you will.

Here's a quote on the entire thing from the man himself; "I love being there, I love America, I love the feeling of the wide open spaces, I love the deserts, I love the mountain ranges, I even love the cities. So having fallen in love with America over the years that we've been there on tour, I then had to 'deal with' America and the way it was affecting me, because America's having such an effect on the world at the moment. On this record I had to deal with it on a political level for the first time, if in a subtle way."

Isn't desert really inspirational though? Look at it as a blank canvas. It's amazing. Like the Grand Canyon or Antelope canyon? Not exactly a blank canvas the last two but amazing none the less.

Several tracks are obviously very political and social, like Bullet in the blue sky, that one was written after a visit to El Salvador during their Civil war and the band seeing the rebels and a government backed up by the US and the civilians in between. He talks about Reagan in the middle of the song ''face red like a rose on a thorn bush'', he had no idea it can be worse did he? The song Mothers of the disappeared is also a song written in that time about the group of women that lost their children during said war. Bono said that 86' was a really bad year which is what reflects in this album. Personal issues, marriage problems, Greg dying, the media critisising them for their political involvment.

Cute story, the tree on the cover died in 2000. Natural causes mind you. I read an intreview once saying that they were driving somewhere near Death Valley looking for that perfect photo scene when they came across this tree, aparently it's amazing finding this tree growing alone because they're always growing in groups. Aparently they pulled over doing a quick 20 minute shoot and guess what? It was cold not hot as one would believe. The spontaneous nature of the shoot of course means that nobody knew the real location of the tree. Bono joked once in a magazine that it's best people don't know where it is or else he fears some fan might come to a show going ''Bono look I've got THE tree''. Hah.

He wasn't mistaking either, I read that those crazy hardcore fans actually did find the damn tree eventually. Which is why they knew it died in 2000 at the are around 200 years old and a very dedicated fan left a plaque next to the remains of the tree saying ''Have you found what you're looking for?'' I kinda feel like saying ''my god those crazy fans'' but then I remember I'm just as crazy if not more when it's about my own bands so I best sit down and shut up.

There's rock albums and then there's rock albums you know, albums that you listen to in your car on your way to work and you enjoy them no doubt but they're not albums that make you think, make you feel. And you know what a smart man once told me? If music makes you feel nothing you're just listening to the wrong kind. But this music will make you feel, if you close your eyes and listen to Bono's voice you can almost feel what he felt when he wrote those songs, it's amazing and it's powerful and it has a message. It's such a shame though that most people will never hear that message because they hear the notes but they don't hear the words.

All you need is love, love is all you need.

There's no escape when fire meets fate.

I was going to share a post about art, about how I managed to step out of my comfort zone and not only work with a paintbrush but also on a really and I do mean really large canvas, when let's be honest anything bigger then A4 to me was just like my talent for manths (3+2=purple). But there's other things that bother me far more, like do you know what I'm having a hard time understanding? What the fuck is the matter with people lately? When did human kind became so stupid, evil, judgemental, derailed? Everyday I find something that makes me hate 90% of the human population more.

The other day I saw a man kicking a baby bird, why? It was in his way. You sick fuck. A week before that I saw another man poking snails out of the grass crushing them because aparently they're nothing but ''filth'' no jackass you're the filth. I can't imagine what's the matter with people, where's the humanity? Where's the kindness? Where's some fucking understanding, where's the love? What's the matter with us?!

I can't seem to understand, if we can't even show a bit of kindness towards innocent living beings sharing the planet with us, how can we even begin to show kindness to eachother?

Then again why am I surprised? Trump is the president, right is on the rise, hate is on the rise. Idiotism is on the rise.

I feel so completly lost, I can't decide is there something wrong with me or everyone around me? First sounds more logical doesn't it? I can't understand people, I can't understand the hate, and I sure as fuck can't understand how in 2018, rightist ideas can go through without people telling them flat out they're idiots. Did you know that over 70% of people that are deciding if abortion should be legal or not are men? Like excuse me but in my book it's ''no uterus no opinion''. How can someone even begin to think they have an opinion over a woman's body? A right over it too? It's not right and it's not moral.

Aparently now younger generation not having families is due to feminism, women's rights and the fact that women can get an education...there aren't words, literally there are no words that would describe my anger. Honest to god. So my education is what's stopping me from ''throwing out a couple kids'' and the whole live happily ever after bullshit? Good to know it's not I don't know, my uncertain future, not knowing if I'll have a job, not knowing if I'll be able to take care of a a dog much less of a child, and it's certainly not the fact that moving out on my own is a fantasy that will never come true. Oh hey but let's cut women's education because who wants smart women huh? Fucking idiots.

It seems to me that the only thing missing is changing bonefires to witch burnings at the stakes because holy shit we're going back to the middle ages. And you know what's the worst part? That all my ramblings are like howling to the moon. The younger population couldn't care less, they don't participate in politics, they don't vote they don't do shit and then these old idiots that cleary lost all sense and ideas and purpose in life fuck over all our lives. I'm just done. How is it right or fair that I should live the way someone else tells me to live? Why?

I came to hate this place so much lately. Hating the people, hating the hate, hating the judgment, hating the air that I breathe, hating everything. I've been feeling like a stranger, I've been feeling out of place, I've been feeling like nobody understands me, like I can't fit in with anybody. And it's the worst feeling ever. Like you can't even breathe. So much has happened this year and it's only the end of May. And I am done, tired, can't go on like this any longer. And quite honestly in a world like this one is turning out to be what's the point anymore?

I don't understand blind support, blind faith, blind following something, anything. What the hell? Blid faith into anything will get you killed. I understand support and I understand devotion and all the other crap but I don't get fanatics, obsessions, people acting like rabid dogs if you dare saying you don't agree with them. When did we become this hostile? When did we start thinking that anyone that doesn't share our opinion is the enemy.

To end this post before it gets too angry because yes I'm in a mood I'll just share words of wisdom, or should I say lyrics of wisdom that Mr. Axl Rose (and also Slash, Mckagan and Stradlin) shared back in the 1991. He gets it. People think he's an idiot, and talk shit about him, but he's no fool and he gets it.

Look at your young men fighting, look at your women crying, look at your young men dying the way they've always done before. Look at the hate we're breeding, look at the fear we're feeding, look at the lives we're leading the way we've always done before.

My hands are tied the billions shift from side to side and the wars go on with brainwashed pride for the love of God and our human rights, and all these things are swept aside by bloody hands time can't deny and are washed away by your genocide, and history hides the lies of our civil wars.

D'you wear a black armband when they shot the man who said "peace could last forever"? And in my first memories they shot Kennedy, I went numb when I learned to see, so I never fell for Vietnam we got the wall of D.C. to remind us all that you can't trust freedom when it's not in your hands, when everybody's fightin' for their promised land.

And I don't need your civil war, it feeds the rich while it buries the poor, your power hungry sellin' soldiers in a human grocery store, ain't that fresh, I don't need your civil war, oh no.

Look at the shoes you're filling, look at the blood we're spilling, look at the world we're killing the way we've always done before. Look in the doubt we've wallowed, look at the leaders we've followed, look at the lies we've swallowed and I don't want to hear no more.

My hands are tied for all I've seen has changed my mind but still the wars go on as the years go by with no love of God or human rights. 'Cause all these dreams are swept aside by bloody hands of the hypnotized who carry the cross of homicide and history bears the scars of our civil wars.

I don't need your civil war it feeds the rich while it buries the poor, your power hungry sellin' soldiers in a human grocery store, ain't that fresh, I don't need your civil war.

Whaz so civil 'bout war anyway?

GN'R - Civil war

P.S. Vsem ostalim mladim, ki še imajo vsaj kanček pameti in sposobnosti mišljenja z lastno pametjo pa želim srečn 25 maj. Mal več take mladine k je bla takrat ko je SKOJ uvedu ta praznik pa bi nam blo vsem življenje lepše tut danes. Just sayin.

This song saved my life.

''I wanna start letting you know this because of you my life has a purpose, you helped me be who I am today I see myself in every word you say. Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, trapped in a world where everyone hates me, there's so much that I'm going through I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

I was broken, I was choking, I was lost, this song saved my life. I was bleeding, stopped believing, could have died, this song saved my life. I was down, I was drowning but it came on just in time, this song saved my life.''

Today there's no record. First because the band I chose to write about only has one album released on vinyl and I don't have it. *gasps* what horror huh? Hah. No but really it does suck. I hate not having it. But I do have CD's (each one of them bought in a different country mind you). And a shit ton of love for them. So I sat here thinking should I preach you on my views how loving two people at the same time is a thing and can happen and it doesn't mean that you love one of them less or more just different? But then I realized what's the point?I said before that this blog should be positive reflecting on things I care about, things I'm passionate about, things I love. And that is what I will do.

Right dear family, before we get into it, just a quick warning, these were the posts all my readers hated on my other blog, so you might want to walk away now, but if you keep on reading, don't say you haven't been warned...

You know that song From the rooftops by Bowling for soup? I think that song describes my relationship perfectly, but there's a line in it ''She’s got another guys name tattooed on her ass''. I can tell you that that line relates to me and this specific band I'll write about just now more then perfectly. Berlin. 3 AM. Tattoo shop. Very drunk. It seemed like a smart idea at the time. What did I know? I was 16 years old convinced that someday we're going to get married. Stupid. But I don't know one of my fondest memories these days. Life was a mess back then too but it was better in so many ways. So then...

You know I actually remember the first moment I fell in love with Simple plan? Back in the day when Mtv made sense? Yes kids, I'm old. Mtv used to be good. I was about 11 years old, sitting on my dad's old couch in his office watching random music videos when something new came on. I see this guy sitting on a bridge and a backed up road with the band playing in the middle of it, and the lyrics that just screamed about my frustration with the entire world. ''Welcome to my life'' really described perfectly how I felt. It was love at first sight. Let's not get into this whole ''emo'' vibe David was oozing or Sebastiens perfect guitar. Love love love.

They were the first band that got me into this pop punk music scene, because of them there's so much good music in my life today. Yes I love old rock, hair metal most, but there's a huge part of me dedicated to punk rock music. Simple plan, All time low, Green day, Blink 182, Neck deep, the list goes on and on.

But Simple plan are something concrete, a constant if you will in my life. I've been through hell and back a few times in the past 10+ years and they were always there to make me feel better, to show me that I am not alone and to make life easier. You know how nice it feels when you feel like the whole world is against you but then there's a song, a singer, a band that understands you? Who's lyrics say everything you couldn't, or were too scared to say?

Have you ever felt completly lost? Like you'll never find your way again? I have. More then once. I still do. Have you ever felt so broken that you thought you'd never heal again? That there are just pieces of you that are too small or just gone and can't be put together again? I have. I do. All the time. Pain pain pain. It never stops. All my life I was the girl that never mattered, ignored, pushed aside or replaced, by too many people to count, by friends, by family. And to be fair deep down I still am that girl. I get mistreated a lot, I get hurt a lot. And this is where my favorite band comes in (yes, you read that right, no matter how obsessed I am with GN'R or Boss or Crue, my ''favorite band throne'' belongs to Simple plan and nobody will throw them off of it).

Over the years, over all the lonliness when I felt like I couldn't confide in anyone they were the only thing to give me comfort. They taught me to have less regrets, to take chances, because they might as well be the only ones you'll get, to laugh, to enjoy life with the ones you love and that if you fall down it's not the end of the world, true hero is the one that falls up nine times and gets up ten. They taught me to learn from my mistakes but not let them define me. They as people and their music as my inspiration made my life so much better, so special and so different. Everyone of them made a difference and without them I wouldn't be half the person I am today because I'd still be that scared little girl with no idea how to get up and fight for what I believe in, for what I want.

If you're religious you'll understand, you have your faith in God, I have my faith in music, completly different but yet just the same. It gives me comfort, it makes me see the world differently. Less dark, less depressing and less meaningless. Thing is when life was literally the worst for me, catastrophe after catastrophe their music helped, and just as it did before it is now. I've been going through some things recently, rough things, painful things, things that would make a sane person go insane, and the only reason I am not yet insane is them. I am stronger because of them. They are fighting the same demons as I am.

They are my inspiration, behind my work, behind my lyrics when I still wrote them, for my drawings, for my photography. They made me look at life and certain things completly differently, they showed me so many things that are wrong with the world that I had no idea about, they inspired me to get active to help people, animals, those that I can as much as I can. Of course that also got me in trouble with the law but let's be honest, nothing good is ever legal. Changes for the good are always crazy, if public vote had the power to change anything it would be illegal. Today I don't care about my ''run in with the law'' I can say I'm proud of it really. I got up and spoke up for those that can't and I would do it again.

It's been years of fangirling before I could see them live. And I remember it like it was yesterday. God I was nervous. It was in Austria and I was there for a couple of days, the morning before the show? I put salt in my coffee, removed my eye makeup with acetone instead of makeup remover, ripped my shoelace and swalloved my gum. Talking about a recipe for disaster huh? Let's not even get into the fact that I planned my outfit for a month before the show and I realized I forgot the right clothes at home. Jesus fucking christ what a mess. Everyone was like, it's just clothes, it's just a show, the band won't be looking at you. But it's not about that at all is it? I wasn't trying to impress the band. I was freaking out because of me, because I couldn't comprehend that I will actually see my heros live standing on that stage.

To this day I can't describe the raw emotion. There was so much happiness, so much love, so much of it all. So many tears too. I shared the love for this band with my best friend. Seeing them live was something we said we will do together but we never got the chance to do it. Maybe that's why going alone was so hard for me, maybe that's why it took me so long. But at the end I couldn't be happier I did it. The show was perfect. All of their shows I saw were perfect. And I literally was that fan that ''camps'' in front of the venue for hours waiting for the doors to open to be in the front row. Each time. And it was so worth it you know. The band up close. The personal contact, the smiles...so worth it. It's been a while since I saw them live though, I missed out on their anniversary tour, don't ask, this blog can not hold that much misery if I start talking about it now. Or about one of the members struggle with depression, the near thought that he's hurting is literally killing me. So much more when I know that there is nothing we can do about it. Only show him love and support on social media. Which btw I do. A lot. While we're at it; Ça fait longtemps que tu es parti, mais tu es plus important pour nous que tout nous nous t'attendrons jusqu'à ce que tu sois prêt, reste fort, e sais que tu peux combattre ça. Je t'aime tellement.

I won't be writing music reviews because everything I say is biased. I love the band too much so commenting on their songs wouldn't make much sense. Except that one with Juliet Simms on their last album. That one I hate, which might as well have something to do with me hating Juliet Simms. Anyways. There aren't words to thank the band for all they did to me, for all the light in all my darkest days, for making me who I am, for changing my life to the better, for making me better by opening my world to things that matter, things I knew nothing about. For the people I met because of them, some still happy to call friends today. For showing me a different kind of love, for giving me a sense of family I didn't feel I had before (Astronauts will understand what I'm on about here). For literally pulling me off the edge I was once at, long story and not for this post. How can you thank a person that did so much for you?

They've been a part of my life for more then half of it, they'll be forever that much is clear and I wil be forever grateful and thankful for having them. For that one boring rainy day when I had nothing better to do then scroll mindlessly through tv channels and stopping on Mtv.

I love them, unconditionally, thank you boys so much for all the love, the kindness, the knowledge, happiness, good times, bad times, sadness and emotion, escape from reality, laughter, everything that you gave me through the years. Thank you for making everything okay and making me feel less alone and less afraid. And thank you for being that hero that I needed so bad. I love you.

''Sometimes I feel like you've known me forever, you always know how to make me feel better, because of you my dad and me are so much closer than we used to be. You're my escape when I'm stuck in this small town, I turn you up whenever I feel down. You let me know like no one else that it's okay be myself.

I was broken, I was choking, I was lost, this song saved my life. I was bleeding, stopped believing, could have died, this song saved my life. I was down, I was drowning but it came on just in time, this song saved my life.

You'll never know what it means to me. That I'm not alone, that I'll never have to be.''

Simple plan - This song saved my life