Life needs to be sweetened.

Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night because of a dream? A nightmare? Shaking and sweating trying to catch your breath but choking instead? It happens to me more times then I'd like lately. And it's always the same. Same concept I mean. All of the worst things I could imagine happening to me in one giant ''movie production'' playing in my head and it's horrible. Which is why I'm here right now, 3 am Sunday morning, trying to catch my breath...

This is not a good start for the first actual post I did in a while *and I'm sure the post won't be good either*, I know, I'm sorry, life has been absolutely insane. It really has been a couple of crazy weeks. So it's safe to say my mind has been...occupied with other things. Like people around me, is there something wrong with me or literally everyone around me? When did people get so stupid, judgemental, egoistic and self centered? When did they turn so evil, wishing bad upon everyone and everything slightly different then them? I really don't seem to understand. What do you get from so much hate? God knows.

I think it's best I focus on some music instead, gonna be interesting, here I am writing about an album and listening to something completly different and very local on my iPod while doing so. Lets see how this works out.

So this album is also on Rolling Stones 50 greatest hair metal albums of all time. And it really is one of the greatest. I mean not better then Skid Row's debut but pretty damn close. I got my copy at a flea market for like ten bucks. Which was the first and only time I ever found anything good or remotely interesting at our flea markets. Usually it's all trash with a price tag on it. Judging on that I could sell a ton of my old stuff that I threw out instead. Maybe that was my blonde moment.

Timing is everything isn't it? And isn't it funny how some people are just on the right place at the right time? So were Cinderella because guess what? Non other then Jon Bon Jovi is responsible for Cinderella even having their hair metal fairytale *bless you Jon* because he discovered them after catching their set in some Philadelphia club where he was recording his Fahrenheit album at the time. Jon was aparently completly in love with them and made the guy who signed Bon Jovi at Mercury go check them out who aparently said ''great looks, great music, great energy, but the drummer and the guitar player need to go'' or something along those lines. If I understood it correctly they've been listening to that a lot at the time. When they held auditions for that guitar player Snake Sabo auditioned. Can you imagine that? Snake! At the end LaBar got the place, they got the deal and the rest is history...is it ever that easy? I doubt it. Hah.

Can we just talk about the cover for a second though? What's with the pink fog and that huge hair? And the clothes? I mean there is so much more, SO MUCH MORE to this band then the whole glam thing they've got going on. It's giving me this vibe, what would you call it today, ''mainstream''.

Their first big hit was Nobody's fool which really is a great song, to be fair the album is worth getting for that song alone. Though I think what really put this album on the map and gave it a place in music history was when they were invited on tour with Bon Jovi. The Slippery when wet tour that is. Totally made them stars, got them number three on the Billboard chart and the album went triple platinum. Can we just take a moment here, like can I just point out how unfair life is? I really should be 20 years old in the 80's, all the band boys...this is so unfair. Or maybe this is one of those moments when you realize there's a reason behind everything...I'd be a total groupie in those days. Let's move on before this post gets out of control. Hah.

Cinderella's second album, which I actually prefer was just as succssesful and then it all went south with Heartbreak station. I'm still not sure what happened there but jesus it was bad. Their fourth album was pretty much ignored and it may had to do something with this new decade and alternative music starting to grow or the fact that the albums just aren't good. I'm sorry boys, I still love you but I don't love those two albums.

But still all that aside when we talk about my favorite glam, hair metal, hard rock from the 80's without too much thinking Cinderella makes that list. Bon Jovi really knew what's up. Back in the day they played their music the way they wanted to and it was the best thing ever. Glam metal at it's finest. And let's not forget all the emotion in it too.

Night songs their debut came out in 1986 and totally rattled the glam metal scene at the time because it was something new and different. They had that dirty sleazy metal yes but they managed to put raw emotion into their music as well but that is far more obvious on their second album which is also better then this one but let's not go there again. I really do love ''Don't know what you got'' that much yes.

Night songs has ten songs and they're all powerful, great songs, with Tom's growls and all the amazing solo's it really makes it for a bitchin album. The final product? Woah, all I can say is woah. First time I played it I was like ''damn'', such an amazing record. Guitar parts are really something else. And not to mention Tom's charisma, he's got it. That something that most modern singers lack on stage. But he had it. The accent, the growl, everything. You can't mistake his voice, it's so special and emotional. And let's not forget that Jon Bon Jovi actually sings on this album, yup he did some back vocals. I think that would make me love Cinderella even if I didn't. Huge Bon Jovi fan yes.

The opening title track has this wonderful dark prelude before it hits us with those guitars and that classic 80's metal sound which really makes it for an ideal opening. Shake me is a total metal anthem and lets not even begin with Hell on wheels and that guitar solo or drumming in it. You know what they actually remind me of? Like if AC/DC and Def Leppard had a baby, I think Cinderella would be that baby. Ha!

Then you've got Nobody's fool. Power ballads...such an 80's thing, even the toughest bands seemed to do ballads back then. This song though, it's really nice, still one of my favorites, Keifers voice really shines through on it and it has this slow, kinda metalish vibe. And the lyrics too, all in all it's a great song.

Other great songs on it are obviously Nothing for nothing, Somebody save me which has a serious AC/DC vibe with that one riff and of course Back home again which has a guitar solo to die for.

All in all, it's a great album and honestly you need to get pass the cover, listen with your ears not eyes, as I said there's so much more to them then big hair. There is only one singer out there with a voice like Tom Keifer and that is Tom Keifer so seriously give them a chance and play it, I promise you'll love it.

This is as good as it gets this week, and as much as you get, I'm exhausted, my mind won't cooperate properly. Now go listen to some Cinderella kids and party on.

''Find what you love and let it kill you.''

Well here we are guys. August 1st. I'm just going to sit here drowning my misery. Half of the summer is already gone and so far it's been a pretty damn horrible one. If it's not raining it's humidity to the max and if's neither it's too hot to even go outside. Of course going on vacation is just wishful thinking with all the finals I still have to study for and are coming up at the end of the month. Who can fucking study in this damn heat? And not to mention, finances for an actual vacation? Yeah that's not going to happen either. So I'm stuck at home, all summer, studying and working. There are hardly words to describe my misery. Suck it up right? It's going to be fine...Yeah someday. Someday everything is going to be alright. But that someday doesn't make today any better. But enough whining, that isn't going to help either. How about some music since that is actually making people feel better when they're down...

The other Warrant record...it's no secret that Warrant are one of my favorites. The old Warrant I mean. Got nothing against the new guy but I just prefer Lane. Which is also the reason why Heaven makes me want to start crying each time I hear it. God, Nikki suck it up. I suppose you could say I'm not doing so well with the fact that he passed away. So I said this before and I'll say it again about a hundred fucking times. Warrant had to be one of the most underrated bands out there. I mean they were so good and got only half the credit for their work. They were one of the best 80's glam, hair metal bands and nobody can take that title away from them. So this is the debut album, and to be honest if you thought you can't top it...well Cherry pie killed it. Cherry pie is a classic and one of my absolute favorites. But just take the ballads Heaven and Sometimes she cries, they are absolutely fantastic. I like to pretend what it would be like listening to them live when people still had lighters instead of cellphones and cameras...had to be amazing. I'm jealous of everyone who ever got the chance. And then you've got Down boys which might be one of Warrant's best songs ever, it's amazing. Here's the deal other bands were bigger and other bands were better. Maybe. Not really. Hah. But there is not one single band out there that would scream 80's hair metal better then they do. They were sleazy they were fun and obvously they were pretty. Come on they weren't stupid they knew their target group were teenage girls and obviously the whole point was surface and no depth. And it worked. Obviously there's a lot of hooks on this album and the ballads were mostly on it to sell the record to a wider most likely female audience that was probably sighing after Jani Lane and his oh so perfect looks. Don't try to deny it. I'm a woman. I'm just the same swooning over him. Ha ha. Though don't be mistaking these are slow moments but the album is a total party album, it's fast it's catchy and it's absolute fun. Not a dull moment or a filler on it. The only ''bad'' thing about it I think is that it didn't make an impact you know? It wasn't Appetite for destruction or Dr. Feelgood. Not that we blame them right? The album was made in that time for that time and that was that. It's a shame though, it would deserve much more attention then it got. Either way, it's a great album for all the fans, for all who feel nostalgic, for all who love classic glam hair metal, for everyone just getting into this type of music. It's a fun album and you'll enjoy it I promise.

Enjoy your week guys, I know it would be better if it didn't start with monday but whatcha gonna do huh? Stay safe, look after one another.

Children of the beast

''In the beginning, good always overpowered the evils of all man's sins. But in time the nations grew weak and our cities fell to slums, while evil stood strong in the dusts of hell lurked the blackest of hates for he whom they feared awaited them. Now many many lifetimes later lay destroyed, beaten, beaten down, only the corpses of rebels, ashes of dreams and blood stained streets. It has been written; "Those who have the youth have the future". So come now, children of the beast, be strong and Shout at the Devil!''

Had a good weekend? I didn't. Studying like crazy plus the weather is completly fucked. Y'all heard about the lightning strike at Rock am Ring in Germany? I feel guilty. I said about a month ago that I hope it gets cancelled because I was so upset, disappointed and annoyed that I couldn't go. Now I feel guilty as fuck because it was in fact cancelled and over such a reason. Guys I'm sorry if my negative energy caused this in any way.

I should focus on other things instead. Like the busy week ahead, work, school, family, concerts, studying. I don't know how I'll handle everything and hope to get enough rest as well. I am completly fucked. But what'cha gonna do? Some idiot suggested that I cancel what I don't need. Like the concerts. I was just like ''bitch please'' can you cancel your breathing subscription? That would be awesome. I don't know how y'all live but in my book I need something to relax, something to let me get off some steam and negative energy or else I'd go absolutely insane. So no. I can NOT cancel the only thing I have to look forward to in my life. So here's to gritting my teeth and gallons of coffee. I survived crazier things so I'll survive this as well. But I am counting down days to September and October when I can finally take some time off and enjoy life. It won't come soon enough I tell you that much.

Here's what's playing while I try hoplessly to get at least one of these math things to stay in my thick skull. It feels like it just bouces of I swear to god. The more I do it the less sense it makes. I refuse to let it bring me down but so help me god it's driving me insane.

I ran out of Crue records to write about. Hah. Well as you can see this one is pretty fucked. The cover that is. It's been through some stuff kinda like me hah. Not in the best condition but I'm not really bothered with it because the innder picture is amazing so is the inner sleeve and most importantly the record is basically near mint. No hairlines no nothing. There's so many people that say that Crue at the time were just a Kiss wanna be or that the bassist was into Satan and skulls and dark magic. Hah. Oh god. I'm not going to deny it, he might as well be but come on. Does that really define music? I think not. On the other hand I know people who became fans because of this album which is cool but kinda pissing me off not going to lie since I already expressed last week how I feel about their debute Too fast for love. Now don't get me wrong. I love Shout, absolutelly love it. Not just the song but the entire record. But I'd be lying if I said ''Shout at the devil'' wasn't one of my favorite moments at their concert. The beat, Nikki's fucking flame throwing bass, the burning pentagram, Vince's shout at the devil scream oh my god! So fucking perfect! I have a friend who was fortunate enough to see them back in the day with Ozzy Osbourne. They opened for him and he said to this day this is his best concert ever. He said they put on an amazing show, though it was a bit sloppy on ends, there was fire, they were chugging Jack Daniels, the whole stage had this dark apocalyptic theme to it, the songs and the preformance itself way heavy, full of energy, full of attitude and that is what pulled him towards them. He said they inspired mayhem, chaos, rebelion which he as a teen at the time loved. Obviously. Crue didn't give a fuck nothing was off limits and nothing was illegal for them. They weren't some glam metal pussies they were serious and they were badass, I doubt any of them would have a problem breaking a whiskey bottle on your head if you were to piss them off. I think the whole point was to piss off the people, the parents, the government and most of all the authority. They just didn't care and I respect that. Why play by the rules? You get fucked in the end anyways and especially by the government. So fuck them all. That's the theme of this record anyways defiance against corrupt authority. Funny, it's over 30 years old and nothing has changed on this aspect. See I think that Shout is such a good album because the band put actual 100% efford into it not like they did with Theatre. They went to the studio and wanted to make a fucking statment and they did. Just look at the song Shout I mean it's like telling the world that they are the meanest, loudest, fiercest most badass band on the planet and I think they did a good job at it because it totally blows you away. Such an amazing strong song. I mean most people had a problem with their look saying they're way too glam or Kiss wannabes but lets be honest though their looks and attitude that went with it which is what really pulled me to them in the first place not going to lie...they actually had the guts and talent and amazing songs to back all that bullshit up. Heavy yet melodic songs, the solos, the drums, the lyrics, there's nothing commercial or mainstreem about it. It is absolutely perfect.

I love how it starts with the ''In the begining''...a description of the world going to hell. Come on we're not far from it are we? I love In the begining because it's what sets the mood of the entire album. It tells you to fight back, be strong and shout at the devil which leads straight into the song. And it's perfect. It gets you excited and really sets the mood for the entire record. Not to mention again, that live, it's pretty fucking incredible. Then you've got of course ''The looks that kill'' which is less vicious and more catchy, which I guess is why it's the single as well. I love the ''God bless the children of the beast'' it's calmer and it fits perfectly with the amazing cover of the Beatles ''Helter skelter''. Y'all know me. I have mad respect for the Beatles but I was never an actual fan. To me they're too pop...idk. I was always team ''The Stones'' but well, when the Crue sing it, then I gotta say Beatles sound fucking amazing. Haha. On a serious note, I know many will disagree because the Beatles are the Beatles after all but I think there's one thing we can agree on, no matter what Crue did this song justice. All in all this record came out in 1983 and I think it's still just as good as it was then and people who say it's a little out dated are idiots. This record is timless it will always be good, it will always sound amazing and if you can't see it then you're the problem not the band. Anyways this one is just as underrated as Too fast for love but bottom line one of the best Crue record *aren't they all tho? heh*. There's so many bands that came after them, trying to copy them, trying to copy their style, their music, some did an okay job to be fair but none of them were Crue and no matter what this record along with the rest of them will forever remain one of the most important 80's heavy metal records. Now excuse me while I put it on, spin that volume to the max and let's rage!

Happy new week guys! Hope it's less stresfull then mine will be. Stay safe. See you on friday!

''He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night, he's the blood stain on the stage. He's the tear in your eye been tempted by his lie. He's the knife in your back, he's rage, he's the razor to the knife oh, lonely is our lives. My heads spinnin' round and round but in the seasons of wither we'll stand and deliver. Be strong and laugh and Shout at the devil!''

Music Mondays

You know what I realized? I bet you're just dying to know another ''inteligent'' thing I come up with huh? Hah. I'm kidding. No but seriously. I thought these monday friday posts are a good idea, so I actually take time, sit down and write, instead of just randomly spamming the hell out of you, all days of the week. Well turns out it's not such a brilliant idea. Why? More then once I found myself sitting next to my laptop staring at the blank page without actually knowing what to write. And it's frustrating as fuck. I never considered myself a good writer. I kept a blog to write down shit I didn't want to forget. The good, the bad, sometimes the ugly as well but by no means am I a writer. I'm an artist though and if I understand one thing I understand that you can't force inspiration. I don't like ''frames'', ''boxes'', ''labels''. Those are stupid. I can't stand when people tell me ''oh you should paint...'' NO. No I shouldn't. I can draw pretty flowers and butterflies and bunnies if I want to but I can also draw bleeding zombies with their guts out spilling on the ground. My choice. That's what I hate most about art schools around here. They don't give you any freedom. They don't give you a theme and say do whatever the fuck you want just stay on this topic. No. They put you in a god damn box, saying you got to do this excatly like this. What? No. You can't judge my drawing ability by how well I can draw a central projection of a room. I will not be an architect. I'm an artist. A portrait artist. I like drawing people, animals, cemeterys. And I'm good at it. I get so fucking frustrated when someone judges my talent by how well I drew a room. Fuck you. Honestly. Fuck you. See this is what's wrong with people. Boxes. If you judge an inteligence of a fish by it's ability to climb a tree it's going to spend all it's life thinking it's stupid. And that just aint right. Just because some people can't do something others can does not make them stupid, it does not take away their talent to do something else. And this really angers me. People put people in their stupid frames, judging them when they can't do something. It's absolute insanity. Here's the deal, I suck at sports. Absolutely completly totally suck at sports. So what? That doesn't mean I'm not a good and fast runner. And I can't draw some things, like at all. Architectural sketches. City streets. Churches. Complicated houses. Water reflection. Yeah I can't draw that at all but so what that doesn't take away my ability to draw a really good portrait. I suck at math. I am like really really REALLY bad at math but so what? Being bad at school math doesn't mean I can't do business plans or calculate profits and shit. Thing is all my life school has been putting me in their boxes, telling me all they think is right is actually right. But it isn't. Thing is because of that I spent half my life believing I was stupid. Till I figured it out. That's excatly the point. Schools want you to be stupid. They want you to be in a box, they don't want your inteligence, they don't want you thinking. They want sheep. Sheep will not revolt, they will not riot. They will follow. Quietly. Patiently. Not caring if the world around them burns to the ground because that's what they were trained to do. Follow. Obey. And that is just not me. It's not who I am. I was not born to follow as Bon Jovi so perfectly said in one of their songs.

''We weren't born to follow, come on and get up off your knees. When life is a bitter pill to swallow, you gotta hold on to what you believe. Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow and that your saints and sinners bleed, we weren't born to follow you gotta stand up for what you believe.''

Which is the reason that made me realize why I can't get along with anybody. Here's the deal people my age are completly immature. I can't keep a converastion going with a girl that only cares about boys and make up and a guy that only cares about getting in my pants. It's just not how it works. I want people around me that understand life, I mean not completly because really who does? But just things you know, how the world works, how people work. People that know shit about politics, economy, music, art, or whatever else they're passionate about. I'm either getting older or I was never really young but mindless conversations about men, makeup, clothes, shoes don't entertain me. Don't get me wrong I love shoes, and makeup and fucking skinny jeans and band shirts and I love boys as much as the next girl or guy around, asuming we're talking about band boys right? Hah. But I am just not one to sit down, have a coffee and gossip. It's just so. Ugh. A waste of time. I like talking about things that matter. I like people telling me what they're passionate about, their dreams, their goals. Nothing quite like watching someone talk about something they love. When they get all excited and their eyes light up. I like talking about politics and religion, which I know is always a bad topic for making friends but here's the deal, I like to challenge people and I like to be challenged. I think you can tell a lot by a person based on who they support, who they love, how they react when their beliefs are being challenged. It's a good thing also because hey better realizing someone's a bad person and a shitty friend from the get go then wasting your time on them. My opinion anyways. Holy fuck how do I manage to get so off topic each time I'm trying to write something down? Thing is, I'm starting a new thing and it's going to be called ''music monday'' I'll show you one of my favorite records each monday and tell you what I love about it and my favorite song / songs on it. Not like I'll ran out of those since all my records are my favorite. Hah. But honestly what kinda world would we live in if I didn't start out with this one?

You know what I love about vinyl music? Not only the surface noise, the little crackling sounds, oh no. I love the fact that there's no skipping around like you do on CD's. You put your record on and you listen to it from start to finish. And the thing is back in the day that's what people did. They didn't watch MTV and buy records because of the single. They went to the store and decided based on album covers or just waited till the artists they loved put out something new. I love that they didn't have internet that literally spoils everything. Album leaks? Such bullshit. Early releases and such bullshit. God. Whatever happened to waiting patiently and listening to the entire thing when it comes out? Can you imagine the feeling? You've been waiting months for it, you never heard any singles off it so you don't know what direction the music went to and you finally get it and you play it for the first time. Man must be an amazing feeling. Not that I'll ever really know it. The media, the radio, the internet and the fact that I live in fucking Narnia are ruining that for me.

Either way. Dr. Feelgood is not just one of my favorite Crue records but one of my favorite records in general. The sound the lyrics the songs are perfect as is but this is the record I feel like they gave everything they got for. 110%. I mean they gave up on partying, the drugs, the booze. Nikki was probably sober and drug free for the first time in god knows how long and they were really commited to this album and it sure as fuck paid off. Their first and only record to top the charts. Every song but one were released as singles and 6 hit videos on MTV. The world tour that followed was sold out and they literally played everywhere. Well everywhere but here. Sometimes I feel like the lion or the witch or whatever the fuck is in that fucking closet gets more action then we do. The fuck is that about? We had Queen and Nirvana play here. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? No don't anwser I don't need no heartache. This record also got the The metal edge readers choice award in 1990 and an American music award for favorite hard rock album. That's just two on the top of my mind. Amazing how well I remember these things but never things that I should probably remember. Hah. Point is I actually love that they went ''political'' with Time for a change and proved there's a lot more to them then just a glam metal band that loves leather and hair spray. Let's be honest for a moment Tommy Lee on Kickstart my heart. Perfection. Without you still gets to me. And nothing like the party that is Rattlesnake shake. What is it with snakes tho? Rattlesnake shake? Shake it like a rattlesnake? The serpent dance? Not to mention all of Slashs' pets...

Chosing one favorite song is criminal, because I love the entire thing from start to finish. But if I absolutely have to, then I must go with She goes down. It's fast. it's wild, it's naughty. I just love it. Love the zipper sounds in it. I just love the whole thing. Hah. The only thing I absolutely hate about it is that this is the last album Vince did with the band for way too long. There's no Crue without Vince and nobody can convince me otherwise. Not to mention after he left grunge happened and literally flushed glam metal down the toilet. Fucking grunge. And hipsters that are trying and failing at being grunge now. Hey idiot just because you wear clothes too big and Doc's and your hair is a mess you aint no Kurt Cobain alright. Stop with your ''astethics'' you aint fooling no one. Fucking posers. Alright point here is. This is one of the best albums ever made and everyone should either own it or at least if you are not into this kind of music give it a try and listen to it. You might be surprised and actually enjoy it. Alright, that's it for today. Going to get back to this essay I'm writing or at least trying to write, then hopefully meet up with dad and get my laptop back. It's been too long. Way way too long. Y'all take care now.

xoxoxo