Original sin

I never hated Mondays as I do lately. The near thought of having to go out and face the world with a big fake smile, pretending that I am not fucking dying on the inside is so hard. Not just hard, it seems impossible these days. To say I had a rough year is an understatement of the year. There are hardly words to describe how badly I want it to end, but then again, what's the point 2019 will not be any better. If anything, worse. And you know what's the worst part? Expectations. People just expect me to be okay, to be normal, to move on, do something with my life, and I just want to scream. Life goes on yes, but it seems like my world has stopped and is falling apart around me and I can't take a second longer of it. I feel like that Of mice and men song ''pain pain pain''. Constantly, all the time. Every second. Everything hurts. Emotionally I mean.

People say ''you're a fighter'' and, ''you got this''. Really, I don't and I am not. I am falling apart at the seams, guess the question here is what happens when a fighter can no longer fight? You lay down your guns and surrender? And if you can't even do that? What else is there left to do?

But enough about that, this post isn't supposed to get depressing like so many of them do. This post is supposed to be about another man I have a huge horrible terrible crush on. And this one is dead. A well. Well good job Nikki no? If they aren't 50+ they're dead. A sure way to die alone with 50 cats. Let me start the post with a quote by said man that I always admired SO much…

''Q: What do you find appalling ?

A: “The American attitude towards women. The whole way they talk about sex. You know: “Lets get some pussy”. Jesus! Pussy is a great word, whenever you mean your cat, but for a woman… no! Not to speak about a woman’s genitals! They can be so stupid. Americans are not real. They fake as if they’re emancipated. An American man can sit and listen to a woman as if she is Einstein… but as soon as she turns around he whispers: “Look at her arse!” The philosophy of American men is: ‘We are prepared to do anything to get a women into our bed, even pretending to treat her as an equal.”

- Michael Hutchence (Playboy, 1993)''

You will probably know Michael Hutchence as the lead singer of the band INXS which btw I absolutely adore. Never tear us apart is one of my  top fave songs, literally I would get it tattooed on me that's how much I love it. Even if it makes me sad also, specially if I remember it was played at his funeral.

Here's another tragic story of an amazing band and musician. Michael was an amazing singer and he also died way too young. 37 only. How is life eve fair? There's a lot of conspiracy about his death too, suicide or no, it's sad and unfair, no matter what happened. And though INXS went on for a while after that just wasn't it anymore.

I'm always listening to the Kick so this one doesn't get it's turn at all but it's a great record as well. Unfortunally the one with ''Beautiful girl'' is missing. I don't have that album. Sigh. You know someone once dedicated that song to me on stage? Saying ''aparently this song is about a Nicky and I'd like to dedicate it to my Nikki''. Huge crowd, summer night, epic moment, not going to lie.

The swing is their fourth studio album released in 1984. I read once that The Swing is one of the five albums by INXS that you have to own. Yes kids, it's not all about greatest hits, dinosaurs like me actually like to own albums not just hits. Point here is that yes, this is an album you really should own if you like the band, it sounds like a record by a band that's ready for world domination. And the feeling when you listen to it is just the same.

It's always all about the multi million selling Kick and I get it that one is just…woah…you know. But really if you happen to forget just how good this band really is then The Swing will remind you. I feel like this album is where they really defined their sound. Like all the influences and everything that made the band run flowed into that one perfect sound. Really there is not one filler on this album, every single song is great. 

See thing is I love Michaels approach to song writing, sure he knew how to be a drizzle of darkness which I guess really explains why I love the man. Ha ha. He'd write lyrics such as ''watch the world argue with itself'' which it really does let's be honest, but thing is the very next line is optimistic ''who's gonna teach me peace and happiness?'' I would gladly, given the chance. Just saying.

INXS were super talented musicians but Michael was the star just like Queen had Freddie, INXS had Michael, he had a stage presence not many people have. I get all weak in the knees watching him parade up and down the stage looking like Jim Morrison and Mick Jagger had a baby. The man is sex on legs so help me jesus. I am really starting to think there's something in Australian water. All their men are hot. Hello Chris Hemsworth? Keith Urban? I mean come on!

I think the band had potential just like Guns N' Roses to be one of the biggest bands on the planet if things didn't play out like they did. They were mega stars for a limited time because honestly try as you may but without Michael the band was just…I don't know like Earth without art is just eh. You know what I mean?

I won't disect and talk on end about this album, it's a great album as is. They created a new type of Rock n roll with it. In a way it's a party album. The entire record is up beat and fun. Music you can dance to. Fun and catchy and the funny party is that this was from a time they weren't world wide mega stars and this is one of their best works anyways.

For me, all you have to do is put this album on, let the first song ''Original sin'' play and be like ''yeah that's it. Right there. I'm sold.'' They are that good.

So in that spirit, go play some good music and I do hope you have a bearable week.