It's never that bad, take it from someone who's been where you're at.

''I'm tryin' to forget, but it's breakin' me instead. I can't live, without you, without you. I keep reading into this, and the pieces that I miss. I can't be, without you, without you...''

Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it...sometimes it's your favorite song on the radio, or something I can't tell anyone but you or a situation that I don't know how to handle...and it's when I realize I can't come to you, talk to you, that's when it hurts most. Time is not healing this wound, it just keeps hurting. Maybe less that much is true, but it still hurts.

And then I sit there in the middle of my bed just trying to keep it together and if I'm being honest? It's not helping. I think the problem is it's not just you I'm missing, it's who I was with you as well. It's us. It's the little things that made what we had so special. I miss the way you'd say ''forever'' when I asked you how long we'll be the way we are...how long we're going to be ''us''...I never got my forever obviously...I fucking miss being more confident. I never used to worry about the future, my life, anything really, when I had you I was different. I was ballsy. I believed in myself I knew I can do whatever the hell I want to and if I failed I still had you there with me. I didn't stand in front of two white pieces of paper twenty minutes deciding which one I like best or which one is whiter, I was sure of my decisions, I knew what I was doing.

I miss how I didn't have to make sense or be understood or follow all the bloody rules, you got me, nothing else mattered. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't uneasy, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't lost, I was confident, strong, courageous...I miss that. And all that aside, you know what I miss most? Who I was with you, who you were with me, who we were together...and sometimes there are those long nights when all I can do is replay different things in my mind wondering what would happen if they played out differently, and I miss you so much to a point where I start feeling physical pain. And you know what? It absolutely sucks.

Which brings us to the point of this post. I met a lot of people in my life but none as vile as the woman I had to deal with just recently. I swear she was a complete thundercunt, rude, mean, evil, nasty, disgusting, just all in all a horrible human being. I wouldn't wish anyone the ''pleasure'' to deal with her. And it made me miss you more. In a ''normal'' world I'd run home crying, you'd say ''aw baby, who's ass am I kicking this time?'' and hug me so tight till you literally squeezed the pain out...do you have any idea just how much I miss that? How awful knowing I never get to hug you again is? Damn it that hurts so much...

So now all that I can do is sit here and think of what you'd say to make me feel better. ''Don't worry about it Nikki, some people are just so miserable with their own lame lives that they have to make someone elses life hell as well, just to feel better about themselves''.

And your advice on how to handle such people...

Never take it personally even if it gets personal, it hurts yes but take the power out of their attitude towards you by treating it as their problem not yours.

Don't join the drama club, I know you feel like yelling, probably punching, ripping their ignorant head off but don't. You will only escalate the situation. It doesn't really matter if you're dealing with a drama queen who enjoys the attention or an inconsiderate oaf who's attitude is either intentional because they're idiots or completly unintentional, keep your dignity and pride in check and don't let their rude behavior provoke you into dropping down to their level. They.are.not.worth.it.

Don't let their behavior make you respond with the same behavior. You shouldn't always treat people the way they treat you even if that's what they deserve. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to kill them with kindness, make them feel like an idiot after you treat them so nice and they're being so nasty towards you.

I already know what you'd tell me but it would be so much nicer to hear if from you. I know what you'd say ''don't let the bastards get you down, they're not worth stealing your perfect smile''. What I want exists right? I just need to go out and get it. But what I want most doesn't. Because that's you. It always gets better I know, but right now it seems a little too dark, a little too hopless and a little too painful.

I just miss you so much tonight...