Runaways

I needed time to gather my thoughts, to try and understand...but I came up empty. I don't understand so much hate and I never will. What happened in Orlando was so vile and disgusting and horrible I can't even form proper words. My heart is absolutely broken. Nobody deserves this. And sure as fuck nobody deserves to live in fear because their love is a little different. So some people love a person not their genitalia. Big fucking deal. Why is there so much hate on this planet? What's it to you who your neighbor loves? It's not you. It's not your life. It's them and it's theirs and just as you're free to live, love and marry who ever you want, so are they. I don't understand why people think they have any right to tell someone else how to live, who to love. What the hell is the matter with you? Oh somebody elses beliefs offend you? Stop being a little bitch and turn around and shut up. Your breathing offends me. Your stupidity offends me. Yet I am not getting into a hatefull comment war with all of you. Why? Because even if you're wrong and hatefull and stupid I am aware that it's still your opinion that you are *unfortunally* allowed to have. Maybe this particular thing sets me off even more because there's people that I love that are also gay and it could be them. And let me tell you something about these people, they're the kindest, sweetest, nicest people you could ever meet. There's not an evil bone in their bodies. I was glancing through the list of victims and all I could think about was, this could be my friends, these are somebodys friends, somebodys kids, family. Loved ones. They're not just a number and they're not some ''freaks'' they are people, with families, goals, dreams, something somebody took from them and for what? Because of hate. I just...I can't even...this should never happen. Let me post a quote;

''How about we treat every young man who wants to buy a gun like every woman who wants to get an abortion — mandatory 48-hr waiting period, parental permission, a note from his doctor proving he understands what he’s about to do, a video he has to watch about the effects of gun violence, an ultrasound wand up the ass (just because). Let’s close down all but one gun shop in every state and make him travel hundreds of miles, take time off work, and stay overnight in a strange town to get a gun. Make him walk through a gauntlet of people holding photos of loved ones who were shot to death, people who call him a murderer and beg him not to buy a gun. It makes more sense to do this with young men and guns than with women and health care, right? I mean, no woman getting an abortion has killed a room full of people in seconds, right?''

Makes sense doesn't it? And to the rest of you who are grinding your teeth together deciding what disgusting comment or email should you send me. Let me stop you right there. I don't care. You wont make a difference. You won't change my mind. I will still support what I believe in and I believe in love and equality. Everyone deserves to love and be loved and it doesn't matter who or by who. So think about it. You weren't the gunman in this situation but you don't like gay people, you don't like gay characters in movies, you don't like to see two men or two women holding hands. The general idea of someone being gay disgusts you and you think they're sinners who need to be ''saved''. You were upset when they were allowed to marry, you insult them and call them names, you think death is what they deserve...found yourself in any of these? Yeah you weren't the gunman but you are the culture that made him. You are the bullets in his gun. You are what is wrong with this world.

To all the parents, family, friends of the victims, I am so sorry you have to go through this, life is horrible and unfair and cruel. I hope at least their deaths are not in vain, I hope finally the world is ready to change. Slim chance but one can always hope.

Now if we move to the happier subjects...not that I can muster up a lot of hapiness today but here's some really good news. Not only did I pass math but I did it with 70% I can't remember the last time I was quite as happy. This is something I'm terrible at, something I really struggle with but I sucked it up and proved me and everyone around me wrong. I am not stupid and I can do this and I did it. Now only the finals and I'm done with school forever. That is if I don't at some point later on decide to do something else with my life. You never know. But in the mean time...woah guys, huge step, I'm actually finishing school. Here's a day that felt like will never come. I don't like to brag but I am rather proud of myself for comming this far.

Let me finish this off with a drawing I managed to do in between all the crazy that's been happening. Yeah even managed a drawing. Now tell me I'm not wonder woman. I dare you! Hah.

My two favorite knuckleheads. Jack Barakat and Alex Gaskarth of All time low. It took me about 16 hours to complete this and you can see my concentration falling at some places. I loved doing it though. Any excuse you have to stare at them for hours is a good one. Anyways off to bed. Another friday night and I'm home alone going to bed early. What. is. happening? I really am getting old. Enjoy your weekend guys. Stay safe out there.

Only a quitter would let it go. I'm your fool in a one man show. I was so bitter, 'til you came along. You set my sails when the tide was low.

We're going down this road with tears in our rear view mirror. Far from home, but in the dark, you'll know, with me you've got nothing to fear.

So let's run away. They will have to find another heart to break. Why don't we just run away? Never turn around, no matter what they say. We'll find our way. When the sun goes down on this town, there'll be no one left, but us. Just like runaways, they will have to find some other hearts to break.