How are we feeling guys? I don't know what day it is. I don't know what week it is. I don't know what planet I'm on…I am legit going crazy. I do live in ''quarantine'' and ''self isolation'' everyday. I don't like people, I tend to avoid them, I don't do ''hanging out'' or parties. But this? This is hell. Not only that the house is ALWAYS full because everyone is at home ALL THE TIME and I'm just like every regular house cat, wondering what the fuck are humans doing in my house every day, but also, people are going completely insane and I am not sure how much more of this madness I can take. The hysteria which I mostly blame media sensatiolation for? Oh my god. Literaly people are acting like rabid animals. I think I'm giving up on walks too because the glares, the sheer rudness. Hell. I was never a people person but after this I'm certain I will completely despise them.
So in that respect, I decided to lie on my couch today, watching whatever brainless TV show I could find. TV is also hopless these days. It's no longer the news, the music videos, the funny shows, it's just ''good day corona''. Even fucking commercials are based around corona. It's really unbearable. Can you picture me rolling my eyes all the way back into my skull right now? Ugh. So while flipping through channels and watching an episode of Dr. Jeff (a saint that man) I come across the movie Mystify on HBO (thank you HBO I legit cried through the entire thing). I've been on a hunt to get a DVD (still am despite seeing it) since it came out last year. It's no secret I love INXS, Michael as a person as well. He was something special, different, smart, kinda shy which is an interesting trait for a rockstar, and attractive. Boy, was he good looking.
Here's the deal despite huge huge success INXS was a very underrated band. They would of deserved much more attention than they got. After KICK things just sorta spiraled. And Michael deserved better. How come the nicest people, the kindest, the purest souls hurt the most? Maybe that's just it, you're too good and too kind so the world just has to crush you. I was actually literally distraught over some of the rumours surrounding his death. Saying it's a crazy sexual game gone wrong, which aparently is proven by the fact that he left no suicide note. I'm sorry but that is literally no proof for me, many people leave no note. Way to downplay what a horrible, leathal disease depression actually is.
I knew Hutch had his own demons he battled. I know his relationship with his brother and later with Paula and the kids was eating at him, but what I didn't know is that he suffered permanent brain damage after an ''incident''. A man punched him and he hit his head pretty hard on the concrete sidewalk. It seems like this was something he didn't want the public, or even his family to know. I can't help but wonder if it's right that the world knows now…maybe it was his secret to live and die with. But I guess, a brain injury this severe explains depression, explains agression and even the change in behaviour anyone who paid any attention to interviews and live shows can see. I guess I can't help the heart ache this makes me feel. I can't help wishing someone would and could help him.
Hutch was a bright light in this fucked up world and to think someone who brings so much happiness to so many people is dealing with his own struggle so severe. God if that doesn't rip out your heart…
Everyone described him as having this charisma and aura, this appeal about him, pure and kind. That he could make you feel like you were the only person on the planet, and could listen, really listen and make you feel heard and understood.
He was a genius. Period. The lyrics he wrote…I have yet to hear a more heartrending song than ''Never tear us apart''. God it's beautiful. And that music video. It's just him, walking the streets of Prague, but it's just something about it…I don't know. It's perfect.
Mystify is a good movie because the story is told from people close to him, some by Hutch himself. There's a good deal of home movies, preformance clips, interviews, things I never saw before, so for a fan it's a must see I'd say. For a non fan or just someone who enjoys the music without extra ''fan baggage'' I'd say it's still an interesting story about how a star that soars that high can fall that low. A thousand times seen story to be honest but heartbreaking never the less.
The moment which made me despise Oasis is featured in this movie. I guess I might explain it now why I tend to turn off the radio when they play Oasis. In 1996 there was an award show. Brit Awards. And by the time I suppose INXS were nowhere near the popularity they had when KICK came out. Shame. They deserved better as I said before, but this is not the point. Out of many presenters Michael was one. He presented the ''best video'' winner, which happened to be Oasis. And out of ALL, EVERY FUCKING WORD IN ENGLISH FUCKING LANGUAGE, all the people he could thank, all the gratitude to even stand on that stage he could have expressed, major dick Noel Gallagher said ''has beens shouldn't present fucking awards to gonnabes''. Oh my god you pretentious bastard. A janitor could have given you an award he's no less of a person than you are. Problem is, Michael tried to downplay it, say he doesn't care but it was obvious those words crushed him and really, nobody deserves being treated this way. Not a single soul. My point here is, you never know what demons someone is battling, just because they're smiling it doesn't mean they're happy. And you can never know what kinda damage your filthy mouth can bring, so if you got nothing nice to say, seriously shut the fuck up, this goes double for people in the limelight who have all the power to make a good difference or to crush someone completely.
Of course after this incidend and the album ''Elegantly wasted'' pretty much failing it was no wonder Michaels depression only got worse. A gentle soul can only take so much hell before they break.
This documetary took ten years to make and it's obvious why. It's full of love, it's clear it was made with love, by people who loved him. It's bittersweet now, watching the clips of those home videos, from happy times. I suppose all of us can relate, going back to times when we were carefree, happy, life was good and then somewhere along the way we just lost our way. We lost hope. We lost meaning sort of. In a way we can all relate to the misunderstood music icon, who actually has this persona or a rock god, an icon but underneath it all it was a loving gentle soul that had nothing snooby or celeb like on him.
Above it all, Hutch had the most amazing voice. I don't think he even realised how talented he was, he felt sort of threathened if you will by giants like U2, but the thing is, Bono may be Bono (respect, another amazing human being) but to me it's actually him who will never reach up to Hutchs talent or charisma. Don't even try to argue with me, this is my personal opinion, I will always pick INXS over U2. And after all it was Bono who was greatly impressed by Hutch, said he was the definition of Rock n Roll. I don't think there's any higher compliment, specially if it comes from someone like Bono.
Another thing I love about him or the band really, is their passionate protesting against nuclear missile testing. If you pay attention to the ''Mediate'' video you can see a cue card with numbers ''9.8.1945''. They are not random, they refer to august 9th 1945 when an atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki.
I was drawn to Hutch for the first time when reading one of my dads old issues of Playboy. Don't even ask, fact is Playboy has really good articles and very tasteful nudes. He had a cheeky interview in it in 1993. And all the questions about what he likes in bed aside there was one question ''what do you find appalling?'' and his reply was;
''The American attitude towards women. The whole way they talk about sex. You know: ''lets get some pussy''. Jesus! Pussy is a great word, whenever you mean your cat, but for a woman…no! Not to speak about a woman's genitals! They can be so stupid. Americans are not real. They fake as it they're emancipated. An American man can sit and listen to a woman as if she's Einstein…but as soon as she turns around he whispers: ''Look at her arse!''. The philosophy of American men is: ''We are prepared to do anything to get a woman into our bed, even pretending to treat her as an equal''.
Hating americans and being a feminist in one reply. Obviously I get heart palpitations. He was one of a kind. They don't make them like him no more. I guess besides loving his persona and music, the topic of what happened to him really hits home for several reasons. Maybe I can't help thinking that each such death could be prevented if people just learned to be nicer, kinder, more compassionate, more humane above all.
The documentary Mystify ends with Hutch and Andrew Farris sitting behind a piano, playing around with notes that would later become the song Mystify. It's a sort of bittersweet moment, or more a painfull reminder of just what the two were capable of doing together. We all know the band wanted to move forward with new singers but they never came close not to the persona and not to the voice. Something was missing and we all felt it. The ending is fitting, it illustrates the perfect image, what it's after all all about, music. It begins and ends with music.
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