“Have a little faith in my magic fingers”

''Love is the closest thing we have to magic.'' Don't you agree? It's actually a quote by a mermaid in a movie titled Aquamarine. Silly, sappy, cute movie that I probably saw a million times. I wasn't going to post this till next month, didn't want to spam up the blog with too many of the same style posts. But then I figured, it's written, it's sitting on my laptop so what difference does it make now or in a week or two. There's been A LOT of same style posts in the past anyways and I haven't been feeling too inspired to write about music, or in a mood to complain about how my life is going to hell in a Little red Corvette with Satan riding shotgun. I'm sorry to say though, this post is for the fantasy lovers, and mostly Shadowhunter fans. I believe other mortals just won't understand what's it about. You're welcome to read of course, but consider this a fair warning.

It's funny but I think I always did love fantasy. Not much has changed, except I guess now I like vampires and bloodshed more than cutesy rainbow unicorns. Who am I kidding. I still love unicorns. Hah. I guess it's watching how really forbidden or impossible love finds a way in the end. Spoiler alert, The Addams family and Interview with the vampire might be my favourite movies but I'll still cry my damn eyes out watching the Notebook. I think it's actually creepy meets sappy that I love most. Have y'all seen Warm bodies? Can I just die? Really that movie is just perfect. Zombies, and love, and understanding, and acceptance. What more do you want?

I noticed that the older I get, the more crap I witness going around me in ''real life'', the more crap happening to me personally, the more comfort I find in fake fantasy worlds. I also noticed that I just can't stand movies or books with tragic endings no more. I mean, life is tragic enough, I don't need to watch / read a nice romantic love story only to have them both or worse one die in the end. What is that? Who writes that? Satan over his morning coffee?

So safe to say I was just like other teens fawning over the Twilight series. The only difference was while the entire world was arguing over ''Team Jacob'' or ''Team Edward'' here I was a strong team Carlisle. He's blond. Go figure. But since I later found out that the Vampire Academy is much better, Twilight moved from a mild obsession to just a book series I once read and enjoyed. Still have them at home mind you, and been contemplating of reading them again. Someday when I have some free time (what is that anyway?).

Anyways another book series I really love is Cassandra Clare's The mortal instruments. Excuse me while my fangirl heart dies over the perfection that is Jace Herondale. Moving on, mentioning them now because of the very book this review is about. It's not a part of the Mortal instruments series but I do strongly recommend that you read them before going on to this one (maybe even the Infernal devices series, I hear Magnus appears there as well but I can't say as I haven't read those yet). Characters and story lines will just make a lot more sense this way, with some background.

 The Bane Chronicles  / Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson.

(     Fantasy, Romance, Historical fiction, Short stories, LGBT.     )

This is actually a collection of connected novellas featuring obviously Magnus Bane from The mortal instruments and The infernal devices series which is why I said it's important to read those first. Well I mean you don't HAVE TO but that way you miss out on what's truly the best about Magnus and the rest of the characters that appear through these stories. 

I read somewhere that the authors actually began to tell stories about Magnus to eachother which then later developed into novellas and finally this book where all 11 of them are published together. Story titles go;

-          What really happened in Peru

-          The Runaway Queen

-          Vampires, Scones and Edmund Herondale

-          The Midnight heir

-          The Rise of the hotel Dumort

-          Saving Raphael Santiago

-          The Fall of the hotel Dumort

-     What to buy the Shadowhunter who has everything (and who you're not officially dating   anyway)

-          The last stand of the New York Institute

-          The course of true love (and first dates)

-          The voicemail of Magnus Bane

The first ten of these stories were first published as ebooks, the final story ''The voicemail of Magnus Bane'' however is a bonus story which is exclusive to the printed version of the book. Now the stories follow Magnus chronologically through his life. As  what 500 something old warlock you'd imagine he'd have some good stories to tell no?

I totally love Magnus, I love how he's sassy and stylish and kind and loving nevermind how much he tries to pretend he's not. He uses magic to do his hair and makeup in the morning! Magic for hair! Guys I can relate on 99% of my mornings when even magic wouldn't help taming my mane. I was a bit wary about the book outcome though, you know combining the three authors and three different styles together, and I gotta say I wasn't too impressed with the first story andddd let's be honest I came here for ''Malec'' stories. I heard people say it spoiled the Infernal devices for them and that they should definately read those first before this one but what's done is done.

''What really happened in Peru'' is a bit of a disappointment. I mean there are so many, SO many teasers as to what happened in Peru through the entire Mortal instrument series and here I was digging through the text, hella excited thinking fucking finally. An answer. Did you think I got one? No. No I didn't. despite the title, I still don't know what happened in Peru except that Magnus annoyed the hell out of a lot of people and some llamas. What really sets me off are titles ''what really happened'' and endings ''we may never know'' or something along those lines. God the tease! I hate that.

Then there's the Runaway queen. You know who she is? None other than Marie Antoinette herself. So looks like our favourite warlock played a key role in the French Revolution. Well, if we know how Marie's story ends then we know it didn't do him much good. But at least he saved the day that one time right? So while in France Magnus finds himself in attempts to conduct a rescue mission of a certain royal family from the claws and fangs of a vampire clan. Why is that so? Because of the hopes of  preserving the royal blood line and mostly because Magnus couldn't find it in himself to say no to a certain very handsome count by the name of Axel. You know I understand. I have an undying crush on a man called Axl and he has Axel, and there are also very few things I'd say no to should he ask. So really I understand Magnus even if his crazy escape meant hot air ballons. Don't ask, read the story instead. Best part of it though? The quote;

''It was also a very bad idea. 
It was terrible idea. 
It was the worst idea he had ever heard. 
It was irresistible.''

Pretty much how I run my life on any given day. Bad idea? Lets do it. Some people just never grow up.

While I love Herondales in general this story (Vampires, Scones and Edmund Herondale) lacks background. It just feels like a boy who never wanted to settle down falls in love basically over night and becomes a completely different person. Which strikes me as odd, given the inhumane Shadowhunter ways, rune stripping and so on. The story really takes place during the first peace talks between the Shadowhunters and Downworlders back in Victorian London. Fantasy aside this isn't so different from our world. We tend to hate more than love too. And just like it's driving Magnus crazy it's driving me crazy too. I really loved the quote in this story;

''I have very few rules in life, but one of them is to never decline an adventure. The others are: to avoid becoming romantically entangled with sea creatures, to always ask for what you want, because the worst thing that can happen is embarrassment but the best thing that can happen is nudity, to demand money up front and to never play cards with Catarina Loss.''

Now tell me, isn't this something one could totally live by?

There's just one thing about this story, all the Herondale boys are incredibly attractive, their lives are always tragic, and their undying love for that one true forever love will break your heart.

In the Midnight heir we see the comeback or for me the first glance at characters such as Jem, Will and Tessa as well as James Herondale. (Just WHAT is with Herondales and their unexplained fear of birds??) This story is set around the fact that though Magnus felt like he'll never return to London (at least he's not banned from it like he is from Peru) but he is once again compelled to go back by an offer. This time an offer of Tatiana Blackthorn who, lets just say doesn't have anyones best interests at heart, save maybe her own. This story also introduces James Herondale who is the only son of Will and Tessa, which is I guess what it's really about? I don't know, I guess the story itself would mean so much more if I actually read the Infernal devices and knew the characters better, else this was more about an an angsty teenager than it was about Magnus. But well, I loved James just like the other Herondales, makes you laugh and the next second he breaks your heart. Just like all of them do. Really, I'm good.

Rise of the hotel Dumort. Clever name for a vampire hideout aint it? Dumort. Well I mean it became an abandoned vampire hideout at some point, it wasn't yet at the time this story plays out. Set in New York in the late 1920s and Magnus owns a Speakeasy. To be fair if I'd expect anyone ever to own one it would be him. Or Rick from the Mummy. Don't ask. Of course the hotel was a new addition to the town, of course it was as posh as it could be and of course things going on inside were not quite as grandeur as the building itself. I didn't really get this story, the point of it, it's confusing as hell to be honest, I wished for a bit more insight as in how the hotel came to be what it is in the Mortal instruments but I liked how some real events are linked with the fantasy world of this book. 

So Saving Raphael Santiago. I'm fond of him in the book series but I am very fond of him in the tv series. In the Shadowhunters TV show he's pretty badass, and I love how his character is portrayed. This is still happening in New York only 30 years later, and it's Magnus who's hired to locate a missing teen Raphael Santiago. The only problem is what happens after he's found. See I wanted back story on Raphael so bad but now I kinda wish I didn't have it. Oh god, it was a bit tortureous not going to lie. This story if you ask me should come with a warning. Trigger warning that is, for murder, kidnapping and pedophilia. I mean I don't know for sure but I'm guessing that's the case. This one really is one of the best stories in this book and it really makes you feel so many emotions. Sadness, anger, all the works. It explains a lot about Raphael how he can be so mature for a 15 yearold, it makes you understand him better, and see why he is the way he is. And then you remember what happens in City of Heavenly Fire and if you're like me you're probably crying in a corner by now.

The fall of the hotel Dumort. I suppose it's destiny. Everything that has a rise also has a fall. Just how nature works sometimes.  Not overly impressed with this one either. It shows the hotel in the 1970s, in the state that's more familiar. Dark, dusty, falling apart and most importantly full of stark crazy vampires. I mean, if you're a fan and think that glittery Edward Cullen is the best thing since the invention of fire this short story is bound to make you rethink your life choices. Magnus in this one finds himself eye to eye with a woman he once loved, Camille but to realise she's not at all what he once knew. Have you had that happen to you before? With a lover, or a friend? You saw them years later and suddenly it all made sense why an ex is an ex. Both relationship and friendship. I guess this story didn't really mean much to me because I can't stand Camillie and here it's just obvious how their relationship was underestimated the entire time. But I guess Fleetwood Mac cameo is not too shabby.

And we are finally getting to the good parts that made me wanna get this book. You can imagine me singing that sentence in a sing song voice. Super excited. There are certainly characters or couples that you fall in love more than others, here we are ''Malec'' Magnus plus Alec are my oh so fave power couple. The whole forbidden love again. Shadowhunter and a Downworlder. Oh my gosh! So this is set between City of Ashes and City of Glass, where the relationship is brand new and cutesy. Who am I kidding it's always cute. Anyways it revolves around Magnus finding the best possible birthday gift for his ''boyfriend''. Not to mention his plans are sorta put to a halt while dealing with a certain demon he conjured up for a certain client. Do y'all even know how much I missed these two after I finished the series and after the tv show ended? This one is just cute and witty and funny and I love how Isabelle and Magnus are slowly starting to be friends in this one.  I love the line in this one ''This was love, new and bright and terrifying.'' Don't we all feel like that? New love is exciting and also so damn terrifying.

The last stand of the New York Institute. Set in the 80's. My favourite era. In general I mean not specifically in this book. This is the time of the Uprising. Valentine's circle goes after Downworlders. Oh hey. Deja Vu isn't it? A psychopath deeming an entire race unworthy and wants them all dead. It's not like I haven't seen that before in real life. This is the first time Magnus sees Jocelyn and Luke so that's rather important I think, given how the story plays on with Joceyln and Magnus, and it shows us some back story to how Jocelyn found Magnus later on. And I think we all needed to see what possesed Jocelyn to do to Clary what she did and also how did she get Magnus to agree on it. It's a little sad I guess, Valentine is an evil roach and it's a little happy because of the Tessa and baby Clary relationship. But also a good insight into how the Shadow world was in fact impacted by this entire craziness. And Tessa watching Pride  and Prejudice with Magnus killed me. So precious.

The course of true love (and first dates). Oh be still my beating heart. This is just the story I've been craving for. Magnus' first date with Alec. Awwwe. It is so cute watching them interact and meet and all the cutesy awkwardness. It's so different watching Alec actually through Magnus' eyes. And despite it all my gosh that first date, it was so perfect, I wouldn't mind one like that too.

And then the bonus story. I almost wrote bonus song. Hah. Clearly I can't get the album review habit out of my head. The voicemail of Magnus Bane is really just a transcript of voicemails that the Shadowhunters left on Magnus' answering machine after the City of Lost Souls when him and Alec break up (I hate that part in case you haven't figured that out yet). I like this last part because I didn't know something can be so funny and so heartbreaking at the same time. I'll share two of my faves for the rest, as I said, read the book.

"Mrrrrrowl. Mrrrrrowl."
"Ow! Ow, stupid cat! Ahem. You told me, 'stop calling, Isabelle,' but I'm not the one calling you. Church is calling you. Mine are merely the fingers that work the phone.
"See, here's something you may not have known before you committed your recent rash acts. Our cat, Church, and your cat, Chairman Meow? They're in love. I've never seen such love before. I never knew such love could exist in the heart of a... cat. Some people say that love between two dude cats is wrong, but I think it's beautiful. Love makes Church happier than I've ever seen him. Nothing makes him happy like Chairman Meow. Not tuna. Not shredding centuries-old tapestries. Nothing. Please don't keep these cats apart. Please don't take the joy of love away from Church.
"Look, this is really just a warning for your own good. If you keep Church and Chairman Meow apart, Church will start to get angry.
"You wouldn't like Church when he's angry."

-Isabelle Lightwood

“Hi Magnus. it’s Simon. You know me. Well, you called me saomes last time we spoke”

-Simon Lewis

In general I like the book. Quite a lot. I like the different points of views we get to see some characters in and I like the background on some things, people and events that it offers. Of course it's not a brilliant piece like say the Harry Potter series are but the stories are cute, just long enough to not be a drag and easy to read. I only don't like that it starts with Peru. It really is the weakest link in this chain I believe.

To the fans of Infernal devices or Mortal instruments I recommend reading, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and bits of it will make you laugh and your heart hurt just like it did mine. Also huge bonus I find are the graphic novel pages. Those are really cute so props for that. 

Clare is one of my favourite fantasy writers and as soon as I get the rest of the books I'm missing there will be more reviews, promise. But while we wait, and when it's not once again about music or another random post about how I can't stand people, because lets face it I really can't, there will be other reviews about books that are more consumer friendly? Can't say radio friendly hah, and I really don't know the proper term. Books for wider audiences, books that don't require a whole entire series to understand what's it about. Untill then, just a word of advice, believing in a little magic never hurt no one, even Jon Bon Jovi agrees.