Have a spooky, scary, creepy, haunted Halloween.

October 31st is the one day in the year that I love most. It's stupid I know. But I do love Halloween. It's the one day in the year nobody looks sideways at my clothes, at my makeup, at my hair…nobody sticks their nose into my ''slightly different'' looks. Nobody comments or tells their kids ''never look like this''. It's a nice change so I tend to enjoy this day to the fullest.

My best friend and I used to go all out, decorations, matching couple costumes, scary movies, candy and popcorn. Things kinda changed over the years. Halloween is not as important where I live, not that it ever was, but also, all Halloween parties are stupid because of one single reason, people don't show up in costume. Like, what the hell? Why go to a Halloween party if you're not at least going to put some make up on? Then it's really just a party aint it? People are no fun I swear. It gets kinda boring when you and your ''squad'' are the only few people with faces caked in makeup in the club. Not that I care but you know, it's stupid. I suppose most people just don't like Halloween…which makes me....

To each their own I suppose, but then look at me, I live Halloween everyday. No wonder I get excited on October 31st. It was meant to be, it should be my birthday too if I wasn't born too fast. Damn it.

Anyways, do y'all know what Halloween actually means? The name actually came from All Hallows' Eve or All Saints' Eve and it's a celebration that actually should last for three days and are dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints / hallows. It is believed that it actually originated from ancient Celtic harvest festivals, a day known as Samhain which was a festival marking the end of harvest season and the begining of the ''darker half'' of the year aka winter. Who wants winter anyways? I'd make it illegal to be honest. Traditionally Samhain was celebrated from 31st of October to November 1st, began and ended at sunset.

Generally this festival had pagan roots, obviously. Did I tell you about the time when someone called me a pagan thinking they offended me? I just spat back at them ''better pagan then a filthy Kristian'' and said Christian literally made a cross with their fingers to chase me away. Hah, people. They're all crazy so help me. Anyways Samhein was Christianized as Halloween by the early church, here's another thing Christians stole from the pagans, while claiming it's theirs.

You know what I want though? A Halloween in America, they've got trick or treat, costume parties, pumpkins, bonfires, that crazy game with apples and water, haunted houses which I've never been to, ugh,…it must be a whole different experience than it is here. I mean we have our own version ''Pust'' in February but it's nowhere near as much fun.

Here's a fun Halloween fact for you, did you know that 30 million Americans will spend about 480 million dollars on Halloween costumes for their pets? Histerical. As my friend would say ''god is good, beer is great and people are crazy''. It's actually a lyric but he always says that.

Anyways I suppose you don't want a history lesson or me rambling how masks are literally so the dead that come back to earth on that one day wouldn't be able to see you, you'd probably rather hear about that night when my ex and I went on a Halloween party as Joker and Harley Quinn and how the next morning our sheets were a mess of green, white, red, blue and pink makeup…fun times. Mark that down as another time of my life I miss. But instead of rambling, enjoy these…I wanted a change from my regular bloody vampire princess look…

''When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween.''

Do you believe in life after love?

Alright, so I suppose you know I am not keen on female voices? I don't know what's up with that but in 99% I don't listen to any female vocals. It's been that way since forever. I like Pat Benatar, Heartbreaker is totally my song, I should tell you the story about how I once sang that song in a bar full of bikers, half dressed, with a huge pink feather boa around my neck. Very drunk on tequila and vodka mind you. Good times. But for real, I love Pat, as well as Joan Jett, Janis Joplin, Blondie, Donna Summer on occasion, Cyndi Lauper, sometimes Ellen Foley her Nightout is a great album, some more recent preformers that are completly unknown who's songs I heard in random tv shows, podcast kinda music. But mostly I love Cher. I don't know when that happened, she's so far from that superior music taste I usually got but hell, I love her.

So this is what this post is about, Cher, or better yet the first album of hers I got my hands on. Not crying happy tears but damn near close to it. I swear there was nobody happier then me when I heard that she's playing the role of Ruby in Mamma mia 2 and I literally only went for her and the entire time she was on the screen I was like ''yessss Queen!'' hah.

No idea when that love started. I loved her since as long as I can remember. I have a greatest hits cassette tape which is pretty much a miracle that it's not worn out, it used to play in the car non stop, as well as these two…

Musician's daughter what can I say? For the most part anyways, my dad never understood or supported my love for Cher. In times that were far easier then days are now we used to drive to the sea side a couple of times a year and we had this old red Ford and 90% of the time music that played in it was music I picked, on cassette tapes. Hey it was the 90's after all. I miss those days so bad you know? It makes me so mad watching kids born in 1999 saying how they miss the 90's, like excuse me but shut up. My childhood were the 90's and for the most part they were really happy. I really miss those days.

Anyway back to Cher, it's a miracle I even dig her given that she is usually referred to as the ''goddess of pop''. Me and pop music? Uh no thank you. For the most part anyways, I do manage to make some exceptions like, Michael Jackson, love him, also Sam Smith and Adam Lambert though their music can't really be labeled as pop. Adam is more of a rocker with his Queen collaboration and Sam might as well be a bit of an RNB and soul as well.

So Cher. She first gained her popularity as one half of the rock folk pop duo Sonny and Cher in the 60's when their song ''I got you babe'' totally crushed both American and British charts. They sold millions and millions of records worldwide and became the ''it'' couple of rock music. Can't say we even got an it couple now, what do you guys think? For me the it ''couple'' would be Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood, obsessed with thier Fighter song. Though they don't count. Since they are not a real couple. But the song is amazing.

Cher worked on her solo career while still being in the duo, and she was also a tv personality with the show ''Sonny and Cher comedy hour'' I literally never watched that but I wish I could. It was super popular and she became a sort of trend setter with her clothes in the show. My mom had a ton of clothes like Chers even if she was my age years later. I keep bitching at her for giving all the clothes away, cuz literally I'd steal all of it right now. Like I stole a few pairs of jeans, a sweater and a jeans vest, all older then me but ironically my favorite pieces of clothing, well next to all my leather and band shirts.

Anyways, one of the biggest career breakthroughs for Cher was Believe in 1998 which by the way is the biggest selling single of all time by a female artist in UK, so suck it Adele. This is the first song ever that had auto tune effect also known as the Cher effect. It's a dumb song we all know it but hell I love it. I sing along to it every single time it comes on the radio. It's not just a song anymore it's a memory of a happier time. The tape started with Believe so each time we packed up, went for the sea side the drive started with this tape and this song. Do you ever feel that? When a random song comes on the radio, maybe a song you haven't heard in years and suddenly you're transported somewhere long ago, and you suddenly feel all the feelings again, you remember the people, the times, everything? It's amazing what power a single song, or music can have.

Anyway couple of years later in 2002 up to 2005 Cher was on her first (hah yes first) farewell tour which ended up being one of the highest grossing concert tours of all time (at that time she was later topped by Celine Dion and the Stones and of course U2, but you really can't compete with those) earning a whooping 250 million. More then the Boss. Can you imagine that? And all that aside Cher also has a Grammy, an Emmy, an Oscar, three Golden globes, a Cannes film festival award and of course a ton of others, one even for her fashion. Queen. Just saying.

But that isn't all there is to admire about Cher. Her great music and awarded many times personality you have to love her for her political views (hates Trump, you go girl!), philantropy, social activism and fight for LGBT rights and HIV prevention. Did you guys catch her on the James Corden show? They did the ''spill your guts or fill your guts'' game. You know you either chose to tell the truth on a question or eat something disgusting and before any questions are asked Cher says, about a raw cow's tongue ''I don't care what it is, I am ratting out my mother, I aint going to eat this'' then the question is ''say something nice about Trump'', hah and without a word Cher bites into that tongue. I couldn't stop giggling about it. My vegetarian feelings aside I'd rather eat that too then say something nice about Trump.

So you probably noticed that she's on tour right now, of course only USA, don't ask how tempted I am to see her play say in Vegas, wishful thinking, but so help me jesus if she comes to Europe…nobody is stopping me I'd totally lose it. I watched a few of her concert videos the other day, songs, clothes, glitter makeup, so on point, I love it all.

Alright lets finally get to the album or this will be ridiculously long. Again. This is the first album of hers I got. (from a friend, he knows who he is, so thank you, I really need a sponsored by and his name on this blog at this point because without him, you guys would have nothing to read). Also one of my favorite albums of hers as is because there 's two songs I really love on it, If I could turn back time and Love on a rooftop. Probably not as famous song, not over played like Believe or Just like Jesse James but a great song non the less. As stupid and as cliche as it sounds I did actually sit on a garage rooftop during hot summer nights listening to that song, amongst others of course. Simpler better times as I said. My biggest issue then were boys and clothes and petty bullshit like that.

This album came out in June 1989 and it was the ninteenth studio album by Cher. Nineteenth! I think I could literally wrap all my walls in my room in her vinyl and I'd still have some room left. The album sold in 4 million copies and was supported by a sold out tour. Oh look at that another cool tour just like ''Use your illusion'' that I missed. I know it's no point pining over tours I missed when I wasn't even born. Hah. But for real, in the 80's and early 90's the music made sense, I missed the prime time of GN'R, the Crue, Skid Row, Warrant,…and that just sucks. Really.

During recording of this album Cher was dating Rob Camilletti to whom this album is dedicated to and did you know that Emotional fire has back vocals by Bonnie Tyler and Michael Bolton? Heart of stone reached top ten on number ten actually in US, number seven in UK and topped the charts in Australia which made it Geffen's first international number one album. You're probably asking how that's possible since there's Appetite for destruction but that's because Appetite didn't sell when it first came out, might be because of the original cover or whatever but it only started selling later in the following year and up to now it became the best selling debut of all time.

This is yet another album with a cover that was later replaced. The original one has an artwork on it, Cher next to a huge literal heart of stone, it was really cute but aparently someone had an issue (looking at you soccer moms and desperate housewives) so it was re released with a more polished and more conventional photo. It's not bad as you see only the original felt more…real. It was a painting by Octavio Ocampo and what bothered people was that you can see a skull if you look closely. What's so provocative about that I wonder? As you can imagine the original cover ones are now a collectors item. I see them on eBay now and then, surprisingly not too expensive.

Safe to say I love playing this album and think about those days that seem so far away now. Even further after this year after all the hell I've been through. It's true that the last bit of sanity I've got left is there only due to my music being played loud and forgetting that the world exists for a bit. Lately I've been listening to music that is not me at all but I love it non the less. Sam Smith, Rag n bone man? Not me at all but jesus their songs Lay me down and Grace will be the death of me, those voices and those lyrics….

What I really wanted to say was that there's a line in Love on a rooftop ''What ever happened to those endless nights when we were happy living young and foolish lives''. Which is something that's haunting me too, what the hell happened? It's not growing up it's falling apart too many times, till at some point you just don't dream anymore because you know dreams don't come true. You don't wish because wishes are never granted and you forget how to fight because you're too used of losing anyways.

In the light of recent events I promised myself to at least try and do something for myself daily, and it doesn't matter if it's taking a pause to breathe during all the stress or play my favorite song. Problem is that none of it is worth it guys, none of the things happening are worth your mental health or your pain or you being anything but happy. Life is short as is and spending it unhappy over people that are not even worth it is pointless. I know it's easier said then done, believe me been struggling with that for as long as I live, but I'm trying.

So in the light of what I just wrote, I'll go play myself this album and think of people and memories that I miss. And guess what, if I close my eyes and try real hard I can almost feel being back in those days, endless summer nights, never ending conversations, innocent kisses and best hugs on the planet. Back to feeling carefree, stress free and loved. Funny how little people yearn for. Peace, love and understanding.

Love walked in.

I suppose if you guys have been reading my ramblings for a while you came to realise many things, probably not all of them good? Hah. I can see you rolling your eyes at some posts or thinking I am a complete nutcase at others. Hopefully sometimes I manage to write down my opinions and thoughts in a way that makes it at least bearable to read if not enjoyable. Or maybe I manage to inspire you. But above all through it all I think you probably caught on to how complex and all over the place my music taste is. I used to say to people ''well you know I'm not that great beauty and brains wise but my music taste is fucking amazing'' hah.

Usually when people ask me ''what kind of music do you like?'' I reply with ''you're not ready for that conversation''. And it's 100% true too. Where do I even begin to explain? There is so much that I love and there is so much that I can't stand. And there is so much that inspires me and helps me feel better and less alone. But there's no point debating tastes really. Something I love you probably hate and vice versa.

Music was never some background noise for me, something to drown out the silence…I'm the person that puts a song on replay again because I wasn't paying close attention the first time, or missed my favorite part even if it's a song like November rain, whos lyrics I could recite in the middle of the night and probably backwards too.

Here's the deal, I love classical music, maybe you wouldn't get that straight from the start but really, I do. I listen to Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Brahms, Debussy, Vivaldi, Haydn, Wagner, Verdi,…when I need to relax or when I lay awake on my bed in the middle of the night and guess what? It helps. More then Metallica could strangely enough. I also love Paganini, he was a genius and a bad boy, what more could one ask for? And to be quite honest without these musicians maybe music as we know it today wouldn't even exist.

So it's really no surprise that I just love someone like David Garrett is it? For those of you who don't know him. David is a musical genius and a record breaking German violinist. He plays crossover, pop, rock, classic, anything. But guys seriously he's a miracle, not only does he hold a world record for the fastest violin player on the planet that can play 13 notes in one single second. Can you imagine that? 13 notes in one single second! It's amazing that's what it is, but he also holds the record fort he fastest violin player because he preformed Flight of the bumblebee in 1 minute and 5,26 seconds. Like, how? Oh right as he says ''practice daily for 25 plus years''. Hah.

He started playing at the age 4 and attended Juliard as well. My favorite school. If life was fair that's where I'd be today. Let me dream and pretend I'd ever be admitted. Anyways point! David also plays a Stradivarius violin. Stradivari are instruments build by an Italian family in the 17th and 18th century and quite honestly there's not a better violin out there. I wouldn't even have the balls to touch it nevermind play it. The prices for one are usually millions on auctions, but they are super rare anyways. Now just think, David got his first one (yep he has more then one, but if not him then who will?) when he was just 11 years old from the German president after he had played for him. Some gift right? Then again his talent deserves nothing less.

I suppose what drew me to him for the first time is the fact that he knows how to mix up Mozart and Metallica and make it incredible, classical music getting a fresh rocker vibe is amazing. Not just for people like me that love both genres but also to maybe bring classical music to a wider audience, to people who never imagined they could listen and like something like a violin and a classicaly trained musician. Of course it doesn't harm just how good looking he is. Hah. Seriously I love love love his music and he could look like Trump and it wouldn't make a difference for me I'd still love the music but jesus I'm only human I got eyes, the man has a smile that makes the sun look pathetic. I caught myself sighing on the concert a couple of times.

While we're on that topic, there's a bar just round the corner from the venue, where I usually kill some time before shows. I love it because they always play music from the artist preforming that night. How cool is that? A pre concert warm up. Haha. Anyways I walked in before the show for a coffee enjoying the music and there's some people that didn't have tickets but knew him and I caught a conversation between this couple and the man was like ''but what are you going to do with such music there's not even any singing'' *cough idiot cough* and she goes ''but who cares? With a face like his''. So really, his looks are more of a distraction aren't they? I wonder how many women came JUST for his music. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't either. The man is gorgeous, his talent, his style, his face, smile, everything is so on point. You know that ''face carved by the angels'' kinda thing?

As per usual the show starts with him slowly walking up to the stage through the crowd. With two gorillas tagging along may I add. Hard to get around them but I think a determined fan could make it happen. Hah. No I didn't try, though I should have. If they'd end me at least I'd die happy.

What I really loved is how many Slovenian words and phrases David learned and how well he pronounced them. He wouldn't have to. Everyone here understands English real well, or at least basic English or even German, but he shows a deeper conection and deviotion to his fans and I think that's real sweet of him. I couldn't stop giggling when before playing Purple rain he asked if there are any Prince fans in the house tonight (still in Slovenian) then he goes ''gosh this was harder then this next song''. Hah. Adorable.

He of course played songs from Armin van Buuren and David Guetta, Stevie Wonder, Led Zepp, Prince, Coldplay, The Verve, Vaya Con Dios, Wings, Eminem (hello Eminem in classical version? It's mindblowing), Bruce Springsteen (cue in fangirling), Rage against the machine and of course Michael Jackson. Let's not forget that he also played a piece by Vivaldi that he dedicated to his mother saying she's somewhere in the audience but he can't see her. Hah. Isn't that so cute? That he brought his mom with and dedicated her her favorite song? I melted a little not going to lie.

There was also Let it go from Frozen. Like my Disney loving heart exploded and the words he said before playing it about love, equality etc, really beautiful. And just because he aparently thought I don't love him enough already there was the theme song to one of my favorite movies too (that is a long list as is, but this movie I really love both original and remake) Ghostbusters and it was just woah! The effects and lights on it (the entire gig really) and also sound effects during, saying ''who you gonna call? Ghostbusters'' and ''I aint afraid of no ghost''. It was SO cool.

Did I mention he takes a little walk around the venue also while playing? Because he does. He was awfully close to me then and I really couldn't remember how you take a breath or what song he was playing at the time. I could melt into a puddle on the ground and just be done with.

Let's not even get into how a few lucky coughbitchescough I mean women had the fortune to meet him backstage before the show. No idea how they got in or believe me I'd make it happen but autographs and pictures aside he likes hugging fans? Let's be serious, I would never survive that. I'd have the same experience as my friend, when her favorite musician hugged her and she passed out. Literally. Only the story went on with him feeling so bad that he personally took care of her meaning she pretty much woke up in his arms, you can imagine how that went. Obviously with her passing out again. Histerical.

This is the part where I complain again though. Of course not over this perfect blonde cupcake but over a couple of other things. First of, I live in a country of complete and utter idiots. The venue was half empty which is why I assume the people working with Davids social media accounts didn't even post that he was here. We have NO and I do mean no appreciation for good music. And it's horrible. No wonder no big music names never stop here. And I mean Rolling stones and Metallica big, not Bryan Adams who by some miracle seems to love this country. Makes one of us right? Hah.

Also organisation. I can't yell that loud enough. This is the only literally only country and capital or bigger city I've been on a concert to that didn't have public transport arranged for the concert. In Milano, in Vienna, Zagreb, Budapest. There are city buses or a subway that wait and make sure everyone gets home. While here there are no buses last one I think goes at around 10 and then forget it. It's problematic because the venue is really far from the city center and taxi service beside expensive is a bunch of rude fucks that drive you crazy. You would easier buy the shroud of Turin then get a cab in Ljubljana in the middle of the night. Just saying. It was the same story on Adams and it was the same story on Green day. I mean come on!

Let's not even get into that if you don't have a car there is no way to even get out of the capital at night. I had to spend the night in hotels in the past just because I couldn't get a train last one leaves at 22:50 and that's that. You know how idiotic I find this? Renting hotel rooms less then 100 km from home? I did call the railroad service and tell them that they're idiots, and that it wouldn't kill them to organise a train for the days of events not everyday, and why and what do I get? ''well that's a great idea'' uh? How about make it happen then? I know quite a lot of people that would love to see more concerts and events in LJ but they never do because getting home is next to impossible.

Anyways back to the concert. There are a lot of big names I've seen and each time I thought it can't be better. Like Bon Jovi in Milano, which was one of the best shows in his more recent career as is and I thought ''well shit nothing can top that'' then The Boss in Milano happened and then Guns n' Roses and the Rolling stones, comparing those is stupid they were all amazing but honestly I never thought there's gonna be a concert that I'll love as much or equally any more, well it happened. This concert was everything I hoped for and more.

If I was in love with him before then now I have it worse. Like a million times worse. I already made plans in my head to see him again next year in Vienna. Which 100% won't happen due to other things going on in my life right now but it would be real nice if it could. There were already posters all over Vienna last month when I was there. Amazing photo too, then again all pictures with him are just amazing. Cue in batting eyelashes, hearts in the eyes and sighing over this program that I bought at the show. The pictures in it? They should be illegal is all I'm saying.

I had a choice to make in April if I'm buying tickets for David Garrett or Iron Maiden and all my friends were like ''eh she's getting Maiden tickets no doubt'' and I was like ''hell no, I love Maiden but they are not going to win this'' and I got Garrett tickets without blinking and you know what? I am so glad I did. This was just what I needed to relieve some of the stress I'm under and to breathe a bit easier. To feel a bit of that nice zen feeling.

The music was amazing, the man is amazing. And the entire show was a whole new experience that is hard to even put into words. Despite the not so full venue I hope he comes back because I would just love another night with him. Thank you David for sharing your talents (and that gorgeous smile) with us, I enjoyed it more then I can say and hope to see you again some time.

Baby you are my horizon

''It's a long way home, when you're on your own and your only friends are traffic lights, speaking in Morse code. Yeah the road is long, and I am tired, but with you on my horizon, I will drive until it all breaks down. 'Cause I can't breathe without you near, you keep me safe, keep me sane, keep me honest. You keep me alive, on the edge of tonight, chasing tomorrow, with fire in my eyes, you're like a siren in the dark, you're the beat playing in my heart, you keep me alive, on the edge of tonight.''

The Edge of Tonight - All Time Low