HO HO NO

Hello December...how about hell no December? The month where people go into a frenzy, everyone is fake cheerful and when you're just not sharing their sudden Kanye party mode you're the Grinch. Uh oh sweetheart let me tell you something about December. Despite the fact that I hate how many anniversaries there are in my family on December, is there anything to really be cheerful about? Next year is going to be just as fucked up if not more then this one. And even if I try and look at the world optimistically, it doesn't work that way. Times we live in are hard. I don't see the need to celebrate the new year with a future as uncertain as ours is right now. I'm bloody terified not excited. I don't understand people who buy tons of food and have family over and eat themselves into oblivion like they haven't eaten all year long. If you want to see your family don't wait up for Christmas. If you're uncomfortable with your family don't think you have to ''suck it up'' just because it's Christmas. I can't stand how I can't even buy milk and cereal without it turning into hunger games in every shopping mall in December. What is up with people? Tip; I may be polite but inside I am screaming and tearing your head clean off with my own bare hands. People and their small talk, all they talk about is cooking, and Christmas plans and preparations and then more cooking. I hate the looks I get when I tell them I couldn't care less because guess what I don't eat meat. ''You don't eat meat?! But your poor parents! How do you do Christmas in your house then?? How can you not eat meat? But wouldn't you just try some, it's the holidays after all!''. I didn't know being vegetarian is seasonal. Talking to people is exhausting. Why is it that everyone just gets this fake happy chirpy voice when wishing you a good holiday? Why is it that I get told I need to ''cheer up'' when I don't have said voice? I will cheer up when this madness is over thank you very much. I know I said this before but I'm saying it again. And this goes to every shopping mall in existance you are all animals! How dare you put out Christmas crap before it's even Halloween?! And TV stations...Christmas movies suck. And radio stations...Christmas music is shit. All I want for Christmas? Is for you to stop playing that awful song! Except our local Rock Radio they decided to boycott Christmas music. Bless your kind souls, you must be some sort of angels. Do you know that depression and suicide spikes up during the holidays. Really. I don't see why at all, the family obligations, the frenzied travel plans, mortifying debt, living of so little and watching people spend so much, it's a bloody miracle people don't jump of a bridge on the spot. Let's face it Christmas is no longer a holiday, it's hell. Who the hell decided that festive clothing is a thing? Seriously, who was it? There's a special place in hell reserved just for you my friend. And the wine...oh god don't get me started on that one, did you ever sit around sipping a nice glass of red wine thiking oh you know what? This would be much better if it was scalding hot, full of tiny tree trunks and sugar...yeah me neither. Starbucks and their cups. Oh my god. I take it we all saw the revolution the red cups caused? Jesus christ. And this starts in the winter season not just December, everything is pumpkin spiced, Christmas cookies, sandwiches and ''crimble crumble''? Whatever that is...can you just please get me my drink, misspell my name and calm the fuck down before I pumpkin spice your ass. Does anyone know what's the point behind Christmas tress? Except of course murdering trees? Honest to god I'm curious...Why is it that people suddenly enjoy walks so much? And in the snow! Tell you what, you go out on a walk and leave me with my ton of pillows and blankets in front of the tv. And make it a long walk too. What is even enjoyable about snow? It's cold, it's wet, it's a half frozen dirty messy goo on the groud. I mean if you're not a dog or a six yearold I really don't see the appeal. Christmas is essentially Jesus's birthday, so if you're not religious...?

Now before you start throwing your Christmas ornaments at me, or whatever else is closest...I got nothing against celebrating, in fact I am forced to sit through a Christmas lunch with the family each year. This may be the source of the problem. Hah. We do gifts as well and pretend we're all oh so happy and get along so well. It's funny because I actually like sending holiday cards and getting little presents for my friends, nothing huge just a small thing to make them know I care, it's everything else that I don't like or care for. But you know...if you can't beat them join them, so if nothing else there's a tradition I do have and honor. My best friend and I watch this movie together each year while taking shots and listing things about the holiday season we hate. Sounds like fun right...

Pretty sure Jack doesn't sing ''the fuck is this, the fuck is that, the fuck is you'' but I prefer this version so much more. Alright, if you're in the holiday spirit, happy holidays, enjoy your favorite month, don't let nothing rain down on your parade and if you're like me...may the odds be ever in your favor, let the force be with you, stay strong guys, I'll see you on the other side.

P.S. Simple plan has a new video out, it's called Perfectly perfect, it's not that I cried because of it, I full on sobbed because of it. It is absolutely beautiful, so you maybe want to go check it out.