You know I let you down, I've been clumsy with your heart again.

January 22. Lockdown week: ??? Year 2021. I gotta tell you, catching Covid was not on my January 2021 bucket list but here we are. And not I'm not only on lockdown but quarantine as well. And if you're guessing I'm pissed you're right. I feel like in a video game, three lives then game over. Yeah like that. I feel like it's game over for me. I mean I fully planned on getting over this pandemic without getting sick, despite finding it insane wearing a mask outside I always did because I was responsible to others and I bleached my hands bloody with alcohol. What I did not plan on though is one of my family members infecting me and them getting it in a fucking hospital. THAT was not on my bingo list. I'm just. Angry. But instead of moping about, or spiraling in a dark dark hole that is reading old posts about concerts (god I miss those) I am sharing an old post. Cute moment. A fond memory. This is an almost ten year old post now. Memory in it is a bit older. But an awfully fond one. Life was nothing short of perfect then. This was posted on December 19th, titled ''It's only love''.

''What do you think I was up to last night? Looking for trouble no doubt. But seems like there's such things as miracles, or better yet police chiefs prayers heard, because I did not find any actual trouble. Disappointing if you ask me. I was out with my sister and boyfriend. It's been a while the three of us had some fun together. We were in a club, purely because it has the ancient Japanese art called ''Karaoke''. Okay I hear you, I know what you're thinking, trust me I do. And if you're also thinking ''good night nurse  Nichol, that girl better didn't do it'' you may wanna stop reading now.

The general idea behind going out was to relax or really just get hammered before that dreadfull Sunday that's coming up, giving me all kinds of creeps. It felt good having fun to be honest. I forgot what that's like, been so caught up with all kinds of shit and drama it's ridiculous. I mean yeah we go to a shit ton of concerts, but concerts are the food for my soul, they're my happiness, but they aren't a place to drink and let lose. I crave a different kinda fun occasionally. Don't even remember when I spent time in a bar for fun, always events, always work.

When we walked in there were four guys on stage doing what I can only hope is a bad impression of the Backstreet Boys. Seriously the boys would be appaled at the…whining.  I give them props though I think they just weren't drunk enough for their ''talent'' to really shine through. I didn't plan on getting on stage at that point mind you, but all of you who know my dumbass boyfriend (a man child, a work in progress, all the bad  things said in the most loving way so help me god) can imagine how this one played out. The dude behind the bar was giggling as he walked up on stage asking who's next and like from the corner of my eyes, I see that oh so charming, deadly and dangerous grin. My lovely boyfriend the joker that he is gets up and goes ''oh I am so doing this next''. He gulps down like three shots worth of Fireball whiskey, winks and me and jumps on stage. I should of known right there and then that that will bring me nothing but trouble. Sigh. You guys, how stupid am I really? I never ever learn do I? Easy for him to get on stage he's a singer, easy for him cuz he's in a damn band! Alright he got up and held a speech on how hard picking a song is because he loves so many songs. Bullshit. All for an act.

The next moment he grins evily and goes ''how about a sing off you guys?'' shit. Just wanted to shoot him on the spot. I love him. But. That dumb bitch. My sister gave me the whole bottle of Jack Daniels saying ''you're going to need this you know''. Yeah. I do know. And not even a moment later he goes ''can my beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend please join me on stage?''. That little fucker. I swear the world is not big enough to hold my wrath. Though I got up and joined him. Why? Because I had a killer outfit, too much to drink at that point and because he was certain I won't do it. And don't I just love proving him wrong. Well sweetheart this is not how I roll. No is not in my vocabulary, nor is fear. So I got on, tripping over my high heels. Don't drink and wear heels Nikki or you'll end up in the ER one day. I sat on the speaker with the whiskey bottle while he said ''I have a song! And Nikki, baby, this one is for you''.

And what did the asshole pick? ''Bryan Adams Run to you''. An artist on our bucket list to see live someday. And Run to you. A song that has meaning to the both of us. What sucks though is that his voice? Absolutely perfect. He sounds just like Bryan. And if you've had a few? Then you won't know the difference anyways. Of course he sang that absolutely perfectly while I just kept chugging my whiskey, trying to ignore the flirting. I was beyond nervous okay. And then the song ends, and that vicious smile comes back with ''your turn baby girl, beat this if you can''. Honestly at that point I would beat him. And not in the sense of the word he meant. But you know as I said, a little fun never killed nobody. And he will not win this fight. Besides I prefer a bit of crazy in my life, the kinda crazy like crashing bachlor parties, pretending to be a stripper, and things I shouldn't write down, I'm 60% sure they are illegal.

Anyways back to the story, he was leaning on the wall by the stage, grinning, his tight jeans too low, and a black tank top with tattoos on full display, and that attractive smirk that literally melts your panties…he was not making things easy for me. But you know whiskey courage. So I chose my own song, dedicated it right back to him, telling him to pay attention to the lyrics. What was it? ''Bryan Adams One night love affair''. No I aint never changing. But what's the shocking part here? The people in the club actually liked it. I mean, passed out drunk probably but still. I imagined one has to be comatose to like my singing. As the song ends the guy from before asks the crowd who they liked better. Surprise surprise he won? No not really. Neither did I. Someone yelled that we should do a duet. And that's how I got roped into yet another song of Bryans, the one he does with Tina Turner ''It's only love''. And indeed it is only love.

Singing Tina is hard as fuck you know. There's a reason that there's only one Tina. We did a good job on the song. Better than solos. I guess that's just what it is. A message from above that we are better together. People sang with us and when the song ends they were screaming ''kiss kiss kiss''. Funny. It was a perfect movie scene, he was just there, slowly pushing my hair off my face, his hand hooking in my belt loops, pulling me close, so close there was no space even for a piece of paper between us. And god that intoxicating Hugo Boss perfume that made my head spin. The anticipation of the kiss itself was enough to kill me and then he kissed me and the world melted away.

Were you ever kissed like that? Like the movies say, fireworks exploding, seeing stars, feeling shivers running up and down your spine. Everything was just gone there was just me and him and it was perfect. And he tasted like whiskey and mint and Jesus Christ I could honestly get addicted from it. Did y'all know it can be this intoxicating, addicting, all consuming? I haven't felt like this, well ever.

At the end of the day what did our ''lets play rock band'' adventure give us? Free drinks all night and does anything sound better than free drinks? Heck no. Free Fireball, I might as well die and go to heaven. Though this ''addiction'' would most likely end me in hell. Have you ever kissed someone with their lips tasting hot and fiery like Fireball whiskey? Heaven and hell. A bit of both. Have you ever fell asleep in someone's arms feeling like you're exactly where you should be? Heaven. Have you ever been woken up by a kiss from someone you absolutely adore? Pure heaven. And if this is heaven then I don't ever want to leave.

Safe to say that last night was actually pretty amazing. Wish the hungover wasn't such a bitch though, but on the other hand, if you wanna survive my family? Might as well start drinking early in the day. Hungover is a small price to pay. There's two ways to go when dealing with the fam. If you got booze – good. If you don't – bad. Start drinking at 8am, keep going till 8pm and hope for the best.

Do play some Adams, while I get sobered up and showered and inspect my skin, please pray to god that that David tattoo didn't get a matching one on the other side. I have a bad habit of doing stupid shit when drunk. Jesus christ.''

Funny how things change isn't it? One minute you're happy and one minute later, things come crashing like a stack of cards. Most of my dedicated readers know what I'm on about. The rest, I'm sorry but this is a topic for another time. Let's keep the memory positive and happy. No need for more sadness.

I was going to actually tie this post in with a review of Bryans album ''Reckless'' which is my favourite one. I just remembered too late that I don't actually have it no more. Sucks. I need to get a new copy at some point. And about a dozen others. Sigh. So since there's no review now, I managed to dig up these three pictures from the gig in 2014. We never saw it together, the ex in the post and I. But the concert was still pretty amazing. Remind me to do it again someday. When life is actually close to normal again. If that's ever going to happen. I have little hope for a normal world.

 

Is it just me or do you also feel surreal looking at concert pics and videos? Feels like…I don't know. It just feels strange. I haven't seen more than 3 people together for months. Actually I haven't seen people at all for months. A concert with 60 000 people? Wild. And fuck I miss it so much. The thrill. The happiness. Say what you will but 70% of my utter mysery is the fact that I have nothing to look forward to. My best friend used to say to never put all your happiness in a boy because when he's gone you got nothing. He was right of course. But I never once thought that putting my happiness into bands and concerts could result in the same outcome. They're gone, and I got nothing. Sigh.

Now, excuse me while I dig myself an even deeper hole by going into my concert files and watch some really happy memories. Enjoy the weekend you guys, play some Adams, get drunk, eat spoonfulls of Nutella. Whatever works. Cheers.

 

Wasted & wounded

That's how I feel these days wasted and wounded. More wounded than wasted actually. Wounded in a mental state kinda way.  There's only so much one can do to keep busy, distracted and well trying their best not to go crazy in the current state of the world. How's that working for you guys? I gotta admit my facade of sanity is slowly (or actually quickly) crumbling. As we head into yet another (big shocker huh?) week of lockdown, I'm finding it hard not to go absolutely bat shit crazy.

So while I sit here and contemplate life, begging the man upstairs and the man downstairs to let us travel again soon, here's some fun facts about another European country I absolutely love. Here's the deal, Berlin is it for me. No place cooler than Berlin. Also as a country, Italy. Aint nothing better than Italy. If you got the money, if you got the chance to go to Italy and you don't, you're just plain crazy. Italy is as close to heaven as there is on earth. BUT! Another country (and the first one I'm bolting to as soon as lockdowns and all the other bullshit are over) I love, is Finland. There aint nothing quite like Finland either. See Italy is perfect in their ocean, beaches, architecture, culture, history, food, Italians, climate, lakes, nature,…but Finland. God Finland.

Did you know that Finland has the most heavy metal bands in the world? Like when you think of music, I guess we all think of USA and UK first, which is insane because music as such is so much better in Scandinavia. There are literally more than 50 metal bands for every 100 000 people in Finland. Consider that there are about 5 540 000 people living in Finland, now imagine all the bands. Wild. Another thing that one should consider is that Finland is said to be the worlds happiest country. Obviously I need to move asap. Lacking happiness as I am, maybe the happiest country in the world can fix me. A little. Or a lot. The happiness factor depends on life expectancy, freedom of making life choices (all the big ones), economic strength, FREE education even on university level, no corruption, health care taken care of, and most likely just generally them being different more open minded people. Honestly if there's one thing I just can't take is conservative, dumb, hateful people.

Another fun fact which paints you a vivid picture why Finland is literally the country for me is the fact that Finns are the world's biggest coffee drinkers. Which surprised me and also is that a challenge? Because these days I swear I only run on coffee and fake promises of a better time, which means I am literally increasing the average liters of coffee consumed of my entire country. I actually assumed that if not the world, than Europe, biggest drinkers of coffee would be the French or Italians, but no, there go the Finns, probably staying awake all nights, writing metal songs or getting lost in the woods. So in translation that means 12 kg of coffee per person per year. And yet here I am, being called crazy for drinking five plus cups of coffee per day.

Here is another thing that I just LOVE about Finish people. You know me, in some ways this corona crap is actually a gift from god for me, I am enjoying the social distance and people not breathing down my neck in supermarkets…here's the deal, in Finland saying a quick hello and moving on your way when meeting an acquaintance is perfectly okay. Nobody is pushy, nobody is stopping you for a (mostly unwanted) snoopy conversation. I hate that so much here, always the same ''How's work? When are you getting married? How about children? Did you lose weight?'' blah blah blah. It's rude and none of anyone's business. This is probably why Finns are dealing with corona better because they naturally keep their distance from people in public areas. Can I like say god bless them? I mean is there anything more annoying than people literally brushing against you when there's literally meters of space all around that can be used? Ugh. Respect my personal space why don't you?

How about a couple of totally legit sports that exist in Finland? Not joking even a little bit these are real; wife carrying championship, mosquito hunting competition, mobile phone throwing, swamp football, air guitar. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. Like how cool is this? I don't like sports at all but this…this is just badass. Sports I could find myself enjoying besides ''catching guitar picks at concerts''. Fun fact, do you know what's the first prize for the winner of the wife carrying championship? The wife's weight in beer. Lol.

How about them Northern lights? Is there anything, anything more beautiful than them? I mean yeah truth that during winter there are weeks where the sun just doesn't rise and me being me loving the sun, a southern girl, that's rough, but isn't there something so comforting about the dark? And then those beautiful lights that light up the dark sky. Amazing. Opposite to dark days you also got days during the summer when the sun never sets, also called ''midnight sun'' (I see what you did here Meyer) which to me is far worse than dark days. I mean how do you function, how does your brain function when it's midnight and it's bright as day? Crazy.

All my feministic readers you'll dig this ''Finland is the most gender equal country in the world'' or one of at least. Okay, today that might not mean that much, we like to think that Europe is changing and women have more equal rights etc…BUT Finland was actually the first country in the world that gave women the right to vote. Today living in this privilege of never not having a voting right, we don't even see it as a big deal, but they gave women the right to vote in 1906 and that is definatelly a big deal.

But alright lets get back to music, which is after all the point of this post. Heavy metal actually has cultural significance in Finland. If you think about it, metal as a genre of music is completely misunderstood all over the world. People tend to have snarky comments, look down on metal heads, call them names, call the music ''noise'' etc. That's different in Finland. It's actually one of the most popular types of music and it's played on mainstream radio stations. Here we are force fed Pink, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Justin Beaver and the closest to metal we get is Bon Jovi's Bed of roses, not even joking. Cute story the cultural significance of heavy metal in Finland was also noted and pointed out by the US president Barack Obama (don't you dare correct me, I don't count psychopatic clowns as presidents) back in 2016 at the Nordic Summit. Take that haters. And my neighbors, and actually parents, and just about everyone that ever sat in my car with me. Sigh.

Surely one of the most significant names of Finish metal we all know are ''Lordi''. They literally made history when winning the Eurovision song contest in May 2006. It doesn't even matter if you watch the event of how you feel about it, the point is that they were both the first Finish band to win and the first hard rock / heavy metal band to win. That was a breath of fresh air that hasn't repeated yet. It drives me nuts, metal and hard rock being over looked like it is, the Grammys? All the dumb looking for talent shows? Why does a pop star / Bieber wannabe / always win? I mean I know why, but WHY? What's funny here though is that Lordi gained some controversy because people interpreted their music as encouraging Satanism. Lol. Someone from here had to do it I'm sure. In fact it's funny because one of their members is actually a very ''up tight'' Christian (why do I hear Ivar Lothbrok spitting ''Christian'' in my head just now?) who writes church music and their song ''The devil is a loser'' is actually against Satanism. Kinda like that bitching over Motley Crue's ''Shout at the devil'' I imagine at the end of album promo Nikki's eyes were permanently stuck in his skull from rolling them at just about every reporter ''listen it's shouting AT the devil NOT with the devil''.

Some other bands that are from Finland that you just have to check out (but probably already know) are; Amorphis, Children of Bodom, Nightwish, Apocalyptica, HIM (obviously one of my fave though no longer together, also first Finnish band to release an album that becomes golden in US), The 69 eyes, Los Bastardos Finlandeses (my fave name haha), and a ton more, though I tend to be more into less known bands. Smaller bands which are every bit as good.

Which brings us to the (long awaited) point of this post. Weekend music recommendation. 

A band from Finland named after a city in California with the prettiest beaches. Santa Cruz. This ''self titled'' album isn't the first one btw, first one was ''Anthems for the Young 'n Restless'' EP with 6 songs back in 2011, then ''Screaming for Adrenaline'' in 2013, after which ''self titled'' came out in 2015, followed by two more albums. My favourite ''Bad blood rising'' in 2017 and ''Katharsis'' in 2019, more on those on another occassion.

This is a solid hard rock band that formed in 2007 inspired by all of the best bands out there, you know GN'R, Skid Row, Def Leppard, Van Halen,…a band which in 2012 landed a worldwide record deal with Spinefarm records. The same Spinefarm that has Airbourne, Anti flag, Black label society, and Rammstein. Though they're not their artist anymore, this I think is still pretty impressive as was their stage pressence at the time. A year later the band signed with TKO agency which gave them the chance of touring in the UK, Germany and Belgium and they got to tour with Skid Row. Oh my god! You guys! Can you imagine growing up with the posters of your heroes on your walls and then you're suddenly one of them, supporting one of the biggest bands on tour. They opened for a lot of other impressive names such as Sebastian Bach, Lemmy and Bon Jovi. Though since then the band went through several lineup changes I can't lie and say that I prefer anyone over the original one (I'm sorry Pav, I love you).

Alright the record starts with ''Bonafide Heroes'' which is one of the coolest album openings in general. It captures that raw early Skid Row sound, the ''youth gone wild'', the rebellion, the anger. I'm always a fan of songs that start slowly and gently then suddenly deliever a punch, even if this kinda ''punch'' might make you throw your car off the road if you listen to it in the car. Hey! Maybe this wanna be safety is why our mainstream radios only play easy rock and pop. The soft subtle choir type begining and the sudden kick into a furious ''noise'' is exactly what makes this a kickass opening. Imagine not knowing a band and this is the first album you get, first impression? Uh I think fuck yes!

Second song ''Velvet Rope'' continiues with the same angry energy and guitars that litreally melt your face off. What's so unique for me in this band is the incredible gift in the guitar playing area. We're so lacking that lately. More bands that sound (and look) like this. There wouldn't be a happier person than me out there if the 80's as they were came back. Men in tight jeans, leather pants, big hair, hair and glam metal. I'd sell my soul to the devil to see that.

Song three is my favourite on this album ''My Remedy''. I love the line ''I need to flee baby set me free''. I guess we all feel that way sometimes, now more than ever. It's actually the lyrics to this entire song that I love (check it out here click me ). This is like a total stadium anthem kinda song for me, warm summer night, drink in one hand, and the crowd singing this chorus back to the band. Yeah, not that I'll see this scenario any time soon. But this is how it feels, that hair raising moment. I mean I love everything about concerts but you gotta admit there aint nothing like the singer going quiet and the crowd picking up the song. It's amazing. Y'all seen the video for ''My Remedy''? Lol I love it.  All the hair! Also how cute is that priest? Lol.

''6 (66) feet under''. Also the number of feet down I'd like to bury certain people. Do you know I had the number 666 on my old car? Like metalic numbers stuck on the back of the trunk. I miss that car all the time tbh. The song! I love it so much the vibe, the lyrics, the melody, another stadium anthem right there. It's an addictive song and honey I'm on a diet of opiates. No joke. I love this song so much. The drums in it? Bitchin! And that guitar solo? Makes your underwear wet not to be explicit but really, it does. So do the vocals tbh. Man, Archie Cruz can sing.

''Bye Bye Babylon'' that line ''I will paint your fantasies to memories'' please do, anytime, anyday, I'm game. This song is less angry but perfect non the less. As the rest it has great lyrics and just perfect guitars and drums and bass and vocals, obviously all of it is perfect. Those high notes too? My god.

''We are the ones to fall'' follows, probably a more known song, amongst fans anyways. And that ''bloody'' video. Brilliant song. Straight from the get go the scream of ''we are the ones to fall'' the hair flipping the whole setting of the song. Hits just right. I'd literally write more about how great this song is but here I am stuck on the music video repeating for the third time because all that pretty hair, even if they end up beating each other up. I mean, I guess all bands have disagreements sometimes….

''Wasted & wounded''  with a music video made in Tavastia in Helsinki. Tavastia is only the coolest rock music club in Helsinki. Or one of the coolest in Europe tbh. I mean it's not a huge concert hall or anything it's a club for what less than 1000 people but guys it has it's charm. In the 70's the club was rented for weekly jazz, rock and disco gigs. And later in the 80's when it got it's legendary status as a rock club (basically the Viper room) there's been bands such as Dead Kennedys, Nick Cave and Hanoi Rocks. It is also one of the oldest European rock music clubs that are still in use. Right point here, Wasted and wounded is a dope song regardless of where the music video was made.

As it goes on with the ''Let them burn'' which has a live music video which gives you a glimpse of the bands great pressence on stage, nevermind who they want to burn. Lol. Song that follows the vibe of the album, the rest of the songs, angry, rebellious, passionate, perfect. Y'all caught that adorable Archies laughter in this song? At this point my sister would be like ''you have a thing about their singer don't you?''. Not at all. Lol. Not even my type. Lol.

''Vagabonds (sing with me)'' can you say no when they ask so nicely? It's a song that definatelly brings fans together. The ''fireeeee''? I died okay. I just love his voice so much. Another fast paced and loud song. Another one that's obviously pure perfection.

The album closes with ''Can you feel the rain'' which actually starts with sound effects of rain, storm, etc. Very ''Riders on the storm'' by the Doors. Who may as well be another influence for this band. If the rest of the album is angry and fast paced this is calm and gentle, while still a rock song. It's more…curious, soft. It picks up a bit towards the end with the just right ammount of power. Beautiful. I'd love a music video of the band playing it the rain, actually I'd like to be stuck in the rain with the singer. No, I don't have a thing for him at all.

You know what? Actually fuck everything I just said, this album is perfect from the first second to the last. Everything fits, the guitars, the drums, the bass lines and those angelic vocals. Their influences shine through so well, you can hear all those bands in their music, but still this fresh sound for newer generations to love and appreciate. And most definatelly they're a band whos sound is something we need more of. Whatever the future holds for the band as a band and individual members, I'm sure it's nothing but bright. With their talent and their sound? Stadiums and number ones no doubt.