Monday, September 23, 2019

Between Angels and Demons

So it's been a while huh? Since I last posted a traveling post I mean. It's not just that I'm not posting, it's also that I'm not traveling unless it's a day trip to Milano or Vienna for concerts. There's been a post last year...yeah that obnoxiously long post on Vienna, when I stayed there for more than a day. But hell, Vienna isn't really that much of a travel for me, even if it's a gorgeous city and one of my favourite places. But it's close. I'm there all the time…I think as last proper traveling only Spain counts and that was 4 years ago already.

But since I was in Italy a lot longer than I was in Vienna last year I am dividing this traveling piece into three posts. Besides Pompeii and the Vatican deserve their own post, don't you think? So sit back, take a glass of wine, preferably play some Bon Jovi – Thank you for loving me, whos video was entirely shot in Rome. How about that? Though, he's Bon Jovi, they cleared the area at the Trevi fountain for him, while us normal mortals had to push through ridiculous crowds to get anywhere close to that masterpiece.

So to follow a somehow logical part of my trip, we'll start with the Vatican, go on with Rome and finish up with the Pompeii ruins.

First a few tips about the Vatican. It's impossible to get in without a ticket bought online at least a week in advance. If you think you'll walk up to the museum and buy a ticket…sure you can but before you get there, 2 hour if not more of waiting in a line. And say a day or two before you visit, buying a ticket online is imposible, they are usually all sold out, so plan ahead and buy online a week in advance (same for Villa Borghese). If you don't, there's many ''skip the line'' agencies, which I assume are part of the reason why tickets ran out online, they buy out everything. Very expensive 55 to 75 to over 100 euros for a ticket and guided tour. In a way a guided tour is better, you skip the line and are guided through most important art pieces, but it's a 2 hour tour which is not nearly enough for the entire museum, so you only see say 40 percent and no galleries with paintings at all. Aggravating but for me it was enough (for now) because as stupid as it sounds I went only for the Laokoon and the St. Peters Basillica. Oh and of course the Sistine chapel.

The Sistine chapel and the Basilica are included in the guided tour, else entry to the Basilica is free but as everything else, impossible lines, swirling through the entire St. Peters square. Also important and good to know fact, if photography is allowed everywhere else (without flash of course) it is absolutely forbidden to take any pictures of the Sistine chapel, which to me was just devastating because let's be honest it is absolutely AMAZING. The altar paintings and the Creation of Adam is surreal, well to be fair the entire thing is surreal.

But lets start at the begining. I noticed that many people, mostly Americans (no offence) have no idea what the Vatican is…which okay, shouldn't surprise me that much but I guess it does. There are things, mostly art related and European history related that are completely obvious to me, because I know a ton about them, that I am automatically surprised when other people don't. Note to self Nikki, not everyone is a major nerd like you…(a bit nerdy wouldn't kill people though).

So the Vatican City, is really a state, or a country if you will, inside of Rome Italy. It's officially called Vatican City State or Stato della Citta dei Vaticano and it's an independent city state. It's about 44 hectares big with the population of around 1000 people which makes it the smallest state in the world.  Obviously the Vatican is ruled by the Pope / Bishop who is also the head of Roman Catholic Church.  The most important landmarks in Vatican as mentioned above are the St. Peter's Basilica, the Sistine Chapel and of course Musei Vaticani or the Vatican museums that house some of the worlds most famous paintings and sculptures.


Here's the deal, when visiting Rome, skipping Vatican museums is almost impossible, they are a collection of museums that make up the 4th biggest museum in the world and are roughly visited by 6 million people each year. Which presents it's own difficulties, it's incredibly crowded, walking along corridors is hard, stopping to admire a certain piece of art almost impossible. Now you know me, I walked along a garden growling and hissing at ''walking selfie making zombies'' in front of me that barely moved and I cut a corner and there it is in front of me, suddenly, the Laokoon. Looming over the crowd appearing as if no joke Mother Mary to religious people. I literally shrieked when I saw him. There aint a piece of art on this planet that I admire more than him…I mean just look…


I mean just look at it. The emotion, the horror, the movment, it looks like it's alive and it will move any second. It's amazing. The talent, the detail, the love that the artist put into this piece. To me there's nothing, not even the famed Mona Lisa that could compare to this one. The only other piece I love as much is Michelangelo's David but even he comes second. This piece showing the realistic movment in a frozen action scene, where you can literally see the frantic movment of trying to break free from the snakes. It's just amazing. Let's not even start with the anatomy of the human body because that is just unreal.  Now the fist reference of this piece was mentioned by Pliny about 200 BCE and it's believed to be the very same one that is now housed by the Vatican museums (there's a copy at the Uffizi in Florence, which I have yet to see), although historians disagree saying that this is likely a marble copy of a bronze original that was lost. Which after all might not be a bad thing,  marble has a way of really bringing out the fine features that much better.

Fun fact, since the artist that made Laokoon is not determined (supposedly Agezander, Polidor and Atendor created it) there are many theories around about who and when it was created and if it's in fact a Roman copy of a Greek original. In 2005 Lynn Catterson claimed  that Laokoon was actually created in 1506 by Michelangelo. Crazy. But also not so crazy, it sure does have some of Michelangelos fine art techniques. Just look at his ''Dying Slave'' which was inspired by the Laokoon.

Now what this piece actually depicts is a Trojan priest, Laocoon. The story goes that when the Greeks left the famous Trojan Horse on the beach it was Laocoon who tried to warn the Trojan leaders against bringing it into the city because it could be a trap. And the Greek goddess Athena that was a protector of the greeks punished Laocoon for meddling by having him and his two sons attacked by sea serpents Porces and Chariboea.

This piece was important also as a historical influence, leaving a huge impact on Baroque and Neoclassical sculpturism.

Another significant part for me at least is the ''Gallery of maps / Galleria delle carte geografiche''. It's a gallery (sections of the Vatican museums are called galleries) located on the west of the Belvedere Courtyard. It contains a series of painted maps of Italy based on drawings by friar and geographer Ignazio Danti. But honestly it's not the maps that are interesting, they are nice and all but guys, the gallery is essentially a large wide corridor, 120 meters long, and the ceiling, the ceiling! My god. Not anything I had ever saw in my entire life. It's amazing. Amazing enough to make some Americans think they were in the Sistine chapel. Sigh. I mean not to be rude, but this entire trip was a collage of insanely funny comments by Americans who were clearly determined to prove that they are not the smartest people on earth. ''Does the St. Peters only include sacred painting motives and sculptures?'' uh actually no if you round that corner over there you'll see a painting of Yoda and the Death Star. Can you see me rolling my eyes? Honestly. I can't.


Each gallery containing any kind of art form is breathtaking, spectacular, beautiful. The ceilings are extraordinary, the reliefs or the frescos on them are out of this world. It all screams money really, once inside you're just aware of the riches of the Vatican and the church. It's a bit…what's the right word? Wrong to say the least specially when all around the Vatican and under the nearer bridge there are homless and beggars. Wrong.

Now before I make this too long and since I can't comment on the paintings gallery. Didn't get to see them after all…lets go to the Sistine chapel. Mad security, cameras everywhere and if you try to take a picture you're thrown out. So I didn't risk it. It's not worth it. But it's a shame. Because really it's a masterpiece on it's own. I never imagined just how big the damn thing is. Enourmous. If you watch it on tv each time you do it looks a lot smaller, a lot darker really, than it actually is, and then you're suddenly standing in the middle, right under the Creation of Adam and it just feels surreal that the damn thing is actually real. Like a concert you know, musicians suddenly aren't just pictures online but real people, so is this, it's not just online art, it's real. Amazing. Also it makes you feel extremely small and insignificant but I suppose that's the purpose of the church.

Cappella Sistina is the site of the papal conclave today, so the process of chosing a new pope happens in there. And the fame of it is really all due Michelangelo. Btw it's not entirely painted by him, the side paintings were done were done by several other artists such as Pietro Perugino, Cosimo Rosselli and Sandro Botticelli. The ceiling of the Sistine chapel was obviously difficult to paint, I mean creating such beauty must be hard to do down on the ground never mind several meters in the air and on a ceiling. But it's a wrong belief that Michelangelo did it laying down, he actually did it standing up on a wooden platform he created himself after Donato Bramante failed to produce a solution as to how to paint the ceiling.  Colours used are clearly very bright to make them visible from the floor, you can see the ancestors of Christ, male and female prophets and Jonah over the altar. On the highest section there are nine stories from the Book of Genesis. The chapel also fatures the Last judgement behind the altar (where btw all figures were painted naked and were ''dressed'' only later). Michelangelo was first asked to paint only 12 figures but he turned down saying he aint a painter, later with compromise to paint whatever he want (as long as it's biblical) he agreed and painted more than 300 figures! 300! Can you imagine the tiring and exhausting work he had to put in to create this beauty? It's about 40 meters x 13 meters which would mean about 460 square meters of frescos. Like, woah! And as amazing as it sounds it's equally amazing standing inside. Now his own chosing features also the Creation of Adam (my favourite) the creation of Adam and Eve, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and the Great flood.

Now we all know that Michelangelo was not religious, he was more of a spiritualist and he was not the biggest fan of the church. And the church was not the biggest fan of him. Now did you know that Michelangelo started disecting human bodies and learning about anatomy at the age 17? Or that he did that by digging up corpses and cutting them open? It's a fact thats both fascinating and deeply disgusting. I can't decide which is more. I think fascinating. Such a deep desire to learn your art to do that…wow. You've heard about the hidden brain depictions in the chapel right? In the representations of God? Giving the illusion that God not only gave Adam life but also superior inteligence? But did you know about other hidden messages? There's even a book written about it and of course non other than Dan Brown had a lot to say about the censorship and ignorance that makes us blind to other possible meanings of one of the probably biggest art treasures in the world.

Now because Michelangelo wanted to scuplt not paint and aparently this project was somewhat forced upon him he did a few subtle things. Like say the small angel painting on the ceiling, it's impossible to see from the ground but looking up close you can see the angel doing the ''fig'', sticking the thumb between the index and middle finger, in the Renaissance era this was the same as flipping someone off. The angel is next to a prophet Zechariah which is believed to be painted in the likness of Pope Julius II. The small angels gesture is therefore aimed at the Pope Julius II also known as ''Papa Terribile'' or the ''Fearsome Pope'' and this was Michelangelo's way of insulting him in a subtle way where Papa Terribile would never know since it's nearly impossible to see it from the ground.

This was supposed to be just one of the very famous insults towards Pope Julius who Michelangelo despised and was disgusted with his way of working. Not to mention they bickered back and forth about the motives painted and the slowness of Michelangelos work (hello idiot perfection takes time) and of course in turn Michelangelo complains about the slowness of payments. Like an ancient soap opera.  The works also include a lot of Kabbalistic and Judist symbolics and several depictions of human body parts hidden in subtle ways which was supposedly Michelangelos way to protest against the churches refusal of the scientific method.

Alright enough about the Sistine chapel and lets move on to the St. Peters Basilica. Can I just say ''oh my god''? I mean I saw a ton, literally a ton of churches in my life. And none of them compare to this one. It's insane. Literally insane, how big, beautiful and breathtaking this church is. Literally it's the Keanu Reeves of churches.

It was designed by Donato Bramante, Michelangelo, Carlo Maderno and of course Gian Lorenzo Bernini and it is the largest church in the world. I mean just look at the basic specs, in length it's 220 meters, 150 meters in width and 136 meters high with the dome measuring 42 meters in diameter. Like can you even begin to imagine that monstrosity or how, HOW did they even attempt to build it? It's insane. Outside of the Basilica there's the famous St. Peter's square which is basically two sections both with ''corridors'' of tall colonnades, decorated by sculptures, which are even more fascinating. Not only are they the hight of sacred architecture and beauty but just thinking about how the hell did they do it, with no fancy machinery. It's crazy. Someone once wrote about this church that it makes us feel overwhelming, like dwarves because the entire thing, the building, the domes, the colonnades, the altars, everything, is massive in size. It has well over 20 altars with the most famous being Berninis Baldacchino. The baldachin is nothing I've ever seen before. I know I say this a lot but that's how it is, you walk around Vatican and every single thing amazes you more than the last one. There's nothing small and modest here, everything is big and impressive. So the baldachin is no exception. It's actually a large bronze sculpted canopy right at the center of the crossing and under the dome of the Basilica. It's supposed to mark the Saint Peter's tomb underneath. Talking about impressive marker huh? I mean…like, a floor marker would be enough no? But no, lets build a giant canopy instead. Another thing that makes you feel small in size…I mean take a look (and no I don't support taking pictures or worse a selfie in a church but this one…I really needed a picture of me in this church. It's beyond your wildest dreams).


The Basilica really is the whole concept of paintings, sculptures, and light vs dark art combined. Everything together features a symphony of artistic perfection unlike any other in the world. It's something not just religious people and artist should see, but every one on this planet should be privileged enough to see it some day because it really is nothing short of spectacular.

One other very prominent and important thing about this Basilica is of course as well Michelangelos Pieta. Now Pieta is basically any depiction of Mother Mary holding dead Jesus after crucificion. Michelangelos work is that much more important because it has a perfect balance of Renaissance ideals of classical beauty with naturalism. And, AND! it's the only piece Michelangelo ever signed. Of course as David so did she have to suffer substantial damage. A mental patient attacked her  just like another one attacked David (what is with these wackos?) causing a lot of damage and people, onlookers instead of tackling him down which is what I would do, looked and STOLE pieces of marble flying around. I mean what? WHAT?! Seriously I would hang them all in the public square as a warning to others. There is something seriously SERIOUSLY wrong with the human race. Thank god for Bob Cassilly who tackled the fruit loop away from the sculpture. I applaud you. Thankfully it was restored, they did her justice I believe and it's back where it belongs today only behind a bulletproof glass panel. Sad.


After marveling at the Basilica you can desend up over 500 steps to have a look at basically entire Rome. My advice? DO IT. It's so worth it. The view is spectacular, of the Vatican, of Rome and of Vaticans amazing gardens. Only, if it's the summer, do take a lift up there because the heat is unbearable and the stairs are spirally and narrow. Easy to get dizzy and disoriented and possibly get a heat stroke. They don't advice heart patients to go on foot.  But seriously the view is worth all the trouble. See for yourself.



And with these pictures and a bonus pic of the Vaticans Swiss guard (how badass is he?) I am ending the post on Vatican City. I mean no words really do it any justice but I tried…next up will be a post generally about Rome, I'll try to put all the funny and flirty inside and all the near death experiences…kinda (Italian driving...horror), and all the crazy and fun that happened in the past few days. It was one hell of a ride trust me…

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